P^MB', 


' 

1:  i  i 

THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


/fi^ 


,/ 


MR.  DUNN  lUiOWXE'S 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS. 

by 


EulnrflctJ  fvow  tl)c  SyvinflficlU  IvcpubUcan. 


BOSTON: 
PUBLISHED  BY  JOIIX   P.  JEWETT  AND   COMPANY. 
CLEVELAND,  OHIO:     U.  P.  B.  J  E  WETT. 
185  7. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress  in  the  year  1857,  by 

JOHN   P.  JEWETT  AND    COMPANY, 

In  the  Clerk's  Office  of  the  District  Court  for  the  District  of  Massachusetts. 


CAMBRIDGE: 

ALLEN    AND     F  A  R  N  H  A  M,     P  U  I  N  T  E  R  S. 


INTRODUCTORY  EPISTLE. 


Many  of  the  inferior  animals  are  migratory  as  it  were  in 
the  positive  degree ;  man  is  migratory  in  the  comparative 
degree;  and  the  Yankee  is  the  most  superlatively  migratory 
of  all  animals,  biped,  quadruped,  or  centipede  ;  winged,  fin- 
ned, or  scaled ;  that  are  in  the  heavens  above,  or  in  the 
earth  beneath,  or  in  the  waters  under  the  earth. 

Being  then  a  genuine,  Massachusetts,  Connecticut  River 
Valley  Yankee  by  birth  and  education,  I  am  of  course  a 
traveller  by  right  as  well  as  by  choice.  In  order  to  be  able 
to  appreciate  fully  the  advantages  of  being  born  in  that  fa- 
vored spot,  by  comparing  it  with  other  regions  more  or  less 
remote,  I  have  wandered  rather  extensively  up  and  down 
our  own  fair  land,  "  out  "West "  and  "  down  East,"  to  say 
nothing  about  the  "sunny  South;"  and  am  now  about  to 
enlarge  my  view  by  crossing  the  Atlantic ;  in  other  words, 
to  complete  my  sphere  of  observation  by  taking  in  the  other 
hemisphere.  Divesting  myself  of  prejudice  and  investing 
myself  with  as  many  of  the  attributes  of  wisdom  as  possible, 


^^ntf^^ 


IV  -INTRODUCTORY   EPISTLE. 

I  sliall  endeavor  to  contemplate  the  institutions  of  the  Old 
World  with  the  eye  of  a  philosopher,  to  behold  her  ancient 
ruins  with  the  eye  of  an  antiquary,  to  view  the  grand  ob- 
jects in  nature  with  a  poet's  eye  and  the  great  works  of  the 
old  masters  with  an  artist's  eye,  to  scan  the  operations  at 
the  seat  of  war  with  the  eye  military,  and  the  movements 
in  the  political  arena  with  the  eye  diplomatic ;  in  short  to 
keep  wide  open  my  eye  financial,  agricultural,  commercial, 
architectural,  legal,  critical,  metaphysical,  and  quizzical.  I 
shall  also  take  a  bird's  eye  view  of  the  feathered  tribes, 
cast  a  sheep's  eye  at  the  flocks  and  herds,  and  obtain  dissolv- 
ing views  of  the  beet  sugar  crop  and  salt  mines. 

I  shall  general-eyes,  and  particular-e?/es,  real-eyes,  and 
ideal-eyes,  scrutin-eyes,  anal-eyes,  very  likely  moral-eyes,  and 
possibly  satir-eyes,  and  dramat-eyes.  I  shall  not  lion-eyes, 
nor  probably  botan-eyes,  geolog-eyes  or  natural-eyes  in  any 
way.  But  I  will  not  victim-eyes  you  any  longer  with  this 
train  of  eye-deas. 

In  order  that  the  Old  World  may  appear  as  young  and 
fresh  as  practicable,  the  "  mirror  held  up  to  nature  "  will  be 
kept  bright  and  free  from  specks  so  far  as  may  be,  but  no 
rouge  will  be  laid  on  the  face  of  the  old  lady,  and  no  artifi- 
cial helps  resorted  to,  to  improve  her  beauty  ;  no  milliner's 
fripperies,  trinkets,  and  jewels,  but  a  simple  dress.  Mine 
shall  be  a  "  plain,  unvarnished  tale  :  "  no  quips  and  quiddi- 
ties, sly  inuendoes  and  oddities  of  language  to  disturb  the 
digestion  of  an  after  dinner  reading.     If  a  joke  is  intended 


/ 


INTRODUCTORY   EPISTLE. 


it  will  be  brought  out  fiiii-  and  above-board,  with  a  good 
honest  breathing-place  for  the  laugh.  The  philosophical 
and  metai)hysical  speculations  will  be  clothed  in  words  of 
seven  syllables  and  upwards  with  no  conjunctions  shorter 
than  "nevertheless"  and  "notwithstanding:"  while  the  more 
familiar  chit-chat  will  of  course  be  done  up  in  the  simplest 
language,  or  if  any  word  or  phrase  should  chance  to  have 
more  than  one  meaning,  the  extra  one  will  be  thrown  in 
gratis,  without  any  extra  charge.  The  similes,  tropes,  and 
figures  used  will  all  be  of  the  strictest  rhetorical  orthodoxy  ; 
not  a  metajjhor  admitted  but  will  be  warranted  tame  as  any 
sheep.  The  didactic,  historical,  and  moral  discourses  will 
appear  of  course  in  their  appropriate,  grave,  and  serious 
costume.  The  poetry  will  be  easily  distinguishable  by  the 
capital  letters  at  the  commencement  of  each  line,  as  well  as 
by  the  capital  words  and  thoughts  that  run  through  each 
line  ;  while  the  "  fine  "  sentences  in  prose  (to  suit  the  con- 
venience of  those  who  love  that  style  of  writing)  will  be 
marked  at  the  end  with  a  little  point  called,  in  punctuation, 
a  period,  at  each  of  which  the  reader  will  be  able,  and  is 
hereby  requested,  to  stop  (long  enough  to  count  four)  and 
admire. 

In  treating  of  the  Irish,  naturally  enough,  a  Inill  may  be 
frequently  expected;  in  writing  from  London,  the  "haitches" 
and  the  "  wes  "  may  be  hoccasionally  taken  liberties  vith  ; 
in  France  my  expressions  will  perhaps  be  sometimes 
"  vine-clad  "  like  her  own  hills.     From  the  summit  of  Mont 


A* 


VI  INTRODUCTORY  EPISTLE. 

Blanc,  seated  on  an  ice  bank,  I  shall  write  you  a  cool  epis- 
tle, from  the  apex  of  the  Cheops  Pyramid  a  pointed  one, 
and  from  the  Bridge  of  Sighs  of  course  a  doleful  one.  With 
these  brief  explanations  it  is  hoped  that  most  readers  of 
common  sense  will  be  able  to  follow  the  thread  of  the  dis- 
course with  ease,  or,  if  they  do  occasionally  wander  off  the 
track,  will  succeed  in  regaining  it,  so  that,  though  they  lose 
themselves,  yet  at  the  end  of  their  journey,  at  least,  they 
shall  find  themselves  -Very  respectfully, 

Dunn  Browne. 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER   I.  PAGE 

WEIGHS  ANCIIOK 1 

CHAPTER  II. 

COMES  TO  SOUNDINGS 6 

CHAPTER   in. 

TERRESTKIAL  SEA-SICKNESS H 

CHAPTER   IV. 

THE   CITY   OF    PRINCE   BLADUD  16 

CHAPTER    V. 

IN  "  TOWN  " 20 

CHAPTER    YI. 

LEAVES   "  TOWN  " 25 

CHAPTER   VII. 

"  UNDERGROUND    RAILROAD  "    TO  PARIS 30 

CHAPTER    VIII. 

FRENCH  TALKING  AND  TALKING  FRENCH    34 

CHAPTER    IX. 

PARIS  BY  GASLIGHT  AND   BY  DAYLIGHT  38 


•VI 11  COXTENTS. 

CHAPTER    X. 

KXICK-KXACKS 42 

CHAPTER   XI. 

THE   CHUKCIIES   OF   PAEIS 46 

CHAPTER    Xn. 

MUSEUMS  AND    AKT   IX    PARIS 50 

CHAPTER    XIII. 

HIS    FEKLIXfiS    Al'.E   TuO   MAXY   FOK    HIM 54 

CHAI'TER   XIV. 

THE   EXPOSITIOX   AXD   THE  EMPEKOK 58 

CHAl^TER    XV. 

WOMEX,    DAUIES   AXD   DOGS 62 

CHAPTER    XVI. 

"  DEMANDS   Ills   PASSPORTS,"  XOT   BEIXG   IXVITED   TO  A  GKEAT  PUB- 
LIC  FESTIVAL 66 

CHAPTER    XVII. 

WAITIXG   AT  THE   STATION 70 

CHAPTER   XVIII. 

BRUSSELS,  (with   WATEKLOO   OMITTED,) 74 

CHAPTER    XIX. 

COLOGNE 78 

CHAPTER    XX. 

GEP.MAN    RAILWAYS   AXD    FIRES 82 

CHAl^TER    XXI. 

A  UNIVERSITY   TOWN 86 


CONTENTS.  IX 

CIIAPTEU    XXIT. 

CIiniSTMAS    AT    TlIU   "KHO.NE" 01 


CHAPTER   XXIII. 

STAUTS    FI1U   THE   ORIENT  '-"^ 


95 


CHAPTER    XXIV. 

EKFUKT  TO    nUESDEN 99 

CHAPTER    XXV. 

DRESDEN,   THIC    Sl'LENDlD 103 

CHAPTER   XXVI. 

TRAGUE,   THE    HOMELY 107 

CHAPTER    XXVII. 

A   DOOR   OPENS,    AND    SHUTS   AGAIN 112 

CHAPTER   XXVIII. 

VIENNA,  THE   JIAGNIFICENT 116 

CHAPTER   XXIX. 

TRIESTE   AND    VENICE,   PROSE  AND   POETRY .121 

CHAPTER  XXX. 

SUJntIT  OF   THE    CHEOPS   PYRAMID 12G 

CHAPTER    XXXI. 

INTRODUCES  YOU  TO  SUNDRY'  INTERESTING  PEOPLE ]31 

CHAPTER  XXXII. 

A   VOICE    FROM    THE  TOMBS 136 

CHAPTER   XXXIII. 

CAIRO,    Tin;   PICTURESQUE 1-il 


X  CONTENTS. 

chapteh  XXXIV. 

JOHN   BULI-   SEES  MOKE   THAN   HE    BARGAINED   FOR 146 

CHAPTEK   XXXV. 

ALEXANDRIA    T< «   JERUSALEM 151 

CHAPTER    XXXVI. 

THE   HOLY   CITY 156 

CHAPTER    XXXVII. 

MARE   ASPIIVLTICUM 162 

CHAPTER    XXXVIII. 

DOES   NOT    "  TARRY   AT   JERICHO  " 168 

/ 

CHAPTER    XXXIX. 

SAMARIA    AND    GALILEE 173 

CHAPTER    XL. 

OVERLAND   TO   BEYROVT         178 

CHAPTER   XLI. 

THE   ^GEAN   AND   THE   DARDANELLES  182 

CHAPTER    XLII. 

THE   CRIMEA 189 

CHAI'TER    XLIII. 

MODERN   RUINS 195 

CHAPTER    XLIV. 

DOWN    THE   M LDITERRANEAN 199 

CHAPTER  XLV. 

ATHEN* 203 


CONTENTS.  XI 

CIIAPTEll  XLVI. 

QUARANTINE 207 

CHAPTER   XLVII. 

RETliOSPECTIVE   FROM   THE   ETERNAL   CITY 211 

CHAPTER   XLVIII. 

IN   A   VETTUU.V 217 

CHAPTER   XLIX. 

HERETICAL   VIEWS  ON  THE   SUBJECT   OF   RUINS 221 

CPIAPTER  L. 

FLORENCE,   THE   BEAUTIFUL 227 

CHAPTER   LI. 

THE   BIUTH-I'LACE   OF   COLUMBUS         .  ' 231 

CIIAl'TER   LII. 

THE   NIGHT   DILIGENCE 235 

CHAPTER   LIII. 

ON    FOOT   AMONG   THE  ALPS 239 

CHAPTER  LIV. 

INDEPENDENXE   AJIONG   THE   CLOUDS 2'13 

CHAPTER    LV. 

DOWN   THE   RHINE 247 

CHAPTER   LVI. 

REPOSES   IN   HOLLAND 252 

CHAPTER  LVII. 

UTTERLY   DISREGARDS  THE   CONSEQUENCES 257 


Xll  CONTEXTS. 

CIIAPTEIl   LVIII. 

JIEEEIE  KXGLANl)      . 261 

CHAPTER   LIX. 

ENGLISH    UNIVERSITY    TOWXS '  265 

CHAPTER   LX. 

TilE  JEDBUKG    IJOItDKK   GAMES 270 

CHAPTER   LXI. 

EDINBORO,  THE  LITERARY 276 

CHAPTER  LXII. 

IN    AN   IRISH    JAUNTING    CAR 281 

CHAPTER   LXIII. 

ANOTHER  TASTE   OF  THE   BRINE 286 

CHAPTER  LXIV. 

EXPERIEXCES   IN   HIS   NATIVE  LAND 291 

CHAPTER  LXV. 

THE   BEST,   BECAUSE   IT   IS  THE   LAST 296 


MR.  DUNN  BROWNE'S  EXPERIENCES  IN 
FOREIGN  PARTS. 


CHAPTER   I. 


WEIGHS   ANCHOR. 


Atlantic  Ocean  (top  of  it  and  pretty  well  along  towards  the  east  side).  ) 
On  board  clipper  ship  Quickstep,  Skpt.  13,  1855.  ) 

After  several  days  of  delay  beyond  the  appointed 
time  of  sailing,  owing  partly  to  man,  (want  of  men,) 
and  partly  to  Providence,  (want  of  wind,)  we  did 
finally  succeed  in  sailing  from  the  quarantine  sta-« 
tion  in  New  York  harbor  on  Monday,  August  27th. 
The  pilot,  appearing  on  board  early  in  the  morning, 
in  spite  of  a  rather  unfavorable  wind  and  an  im- 
mense amount  of  swearing,  (I  could  hardly  tell  which 
was  the  greater  obstacle  to  the  execution  of  his  or- 
ders,) was  successful  in  taking  us  out  of  the  beauti- 
ful bay  into  the  open  sea.  Since  one  o'clock  the 
same  day,  we  have  seen  no  land  except  that  portion 

1 


2  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

of  our  native  soil  which  still  remains  on  the  faces  of 
some  of  the  sailors.  But  we  hope,  if  our  favorable 
wind  holds,  to  make  Land's  End  to-morrow,  and 
London  early  next  week.  However  this  is  all  guess- 
work with  us,  (passengers,)  for  the  officers  of  the 
ship  take  particular  pains  to  tell  us  the  most  ridicu- 
lous and  conflicting  stories  as  to  our  whereabouts 
and  progress.  This,  and  frightening  the  women  with 
fearful  tales  of  the  dangers  of  the  sea,  constitute  their 
idea  of  wit  in  its  highest  development. 

First  day  out :  Strong  N.  E.  wind,  which,  as  that 
was  precisely  the  direction  we  wished  to  go,  was  not 
on  the  whole  favorable  to  our  progress.  The  ship 
persisted  in  leaning  over  at  an  angle  of  45°,  so  that 
you  could  walk  with  equal  ease  on  the  floor  and  on 
the  leeward  side  of  the  cabin.  Passengers  were  to 
be  seen  leaning  over  the  bulwarks  contemplating  the 
ocean  waves  with  signs  of  deep  emotion,  and  occa- 
sional outpourings  of  feeling  very  touching  to  the 
beholder.  Second  day :  Precisely  similar  to  the  first. 
Third  day :  If  any  thing  a  little  more  so ;  the  wind  a 
little  stronger ;  the  ship  a  little  steeper,  and  the  pas- 
sengers a  little  sicker ;  every  thing,  in  short,  slightly 
aggravated.  The  evening  was  delightful.  Sat  sev- 
eral hours  at  the  stern  in  the  moonlight,  watching 
the  bubbles  of  fire  in  the  waves,  and  musing  upon 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  3 

home  and  friends.  "  Sail  on  the  lee  bow,"  shouted 
the  look-out,  and  gradually  a  dark  shadow  became 
visible  in  the  dim  distance,  glided  like  a  spectre 
slowly  past,  and  vanished.  Waxing  decidedly  poet- 
ical under  the  combined  influence  of  the  moon,  the 
waves,  and  the  phantom  ship,  I  was  recalled  to  the 
realms  of  the  real  by  a  huge  wave  leaping  over  the 
taffrail  and  depositing  at  least  a  barrel  of  the  "  briny  " 
in  my  lap.  Thus  pickled  I  retired  dripping  to  my 
state-room,  "  a  wiser  and  iveller  man."  Fourth  day  : 
A  lurch  of  the  ship  sent  three  cups  of  coffee,  two 
men,  (one  of  whom  was  noi  your  humble  servant, 
the  other  ivas,)  one  bowl  of  sugar,  a  woman  and 
baby,  three  plates  of  ham,  one  hairbrush,  six  roasted 
potatoes,  a  jar  of  pickles,  and  a  wash  basin  of  water 
with  a  soapy  boy  in  it,  all  into  a  corner  of  the  cabin 
together.  Selecting  ourselves  out  of  that  heap  of 
miscellaneous  articles,  and  leaving  the  rest  to  be 
picked  up  by  the  steward,  resumed  our  breakfast  as 
if  nothing  had  happened.  Smart  ship  is  the  old 
(Quickstep,  only  rather  playful. 

The  first  few  days  are  a  fair  sample  of  the  whole 
passage  hitherto,  fair,  beautiful,  dull,  and  stupid  in 
the  extreme.  Life  at  sea  is  very  poetical  one  hour 
perhaps  out  of  the  twenty-four,  but  prosaic  enough 
the  other  twenty-three ;  may  answer  very  well  one 
day  in  the  week,  but  deliver  me  from  the  other  six. 


4  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

We  are  but  a  dozen  of  us,  passengers,  mostly 
Cockneys  returning  in  disgust  from  a  brief  sojourn 
in  Yankee  land  to  blessed  Hold  Hengland,  the  'ome 
of  their  hinfancy.  Every  one  of  us  disagreeing  with 
every  other  one  on  all  possible  subjects,  we  yet  live 
together  in  great  harmony,  performing  mutual  offices 
of  kindness  and  good-fellowship ;  a  little  bullet- 
headed  Ducthman  offering  a  share  of  his  cherished 
Schiedam  Schnapps  to  the  sick  wife  of  a  Hungarian 
refugee ;  a  Kentuckian  and  a  Londoner  ending  a 
wrangle  of  an  hour  and  a  half  about  the  merits  of 
their  respective  countries  in  a  couple  of  friendly 
brandy  punches ;  a  freethinking  London  bookseller 
and  your  humble  servant,  after  spending  the  whole 
afternoon  in  the  main-top-mast  cross-trees  in  dis- 
cussing, metaphysically,  theologically,  and  scriptu- 
rally,  the  Noachian  deluge,  afterwards  discussing  a 
bottle  of  porter  together,  (thoroughly  exhausting  both 
subjects).  Though  the  Maine  law  be  an  admirable 
institution  on  land,  yet  if  anybody  argues  in  favor  of 
it  here,  we  silence  him  directly  by  presenting  to  his 
mouth  and  nose  a  glass  of  the  diluted  emetic  which 
goes  under  the  name  of  water  on  board  ship.  One 
dose  is  sufficient.  The  patient  recovers  immediately 
from  his  delusion,  and  pronounces  the  Maine  law 
eminently  a  terrestrial  animal.      If  our  tea  and  cof- 


EXPERIENCES   TiH   FOREIGN   PARTS.  0 

fee  were  decent,  the  case  would  be  dift'crent;  but  as 
it  is,  we  are  absolutely  driven  to  porter,  and  some  of 
the  Englishmen,  I  am  afraid,  even  to  stronger  pota- 
tions. 


6  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 


CHAPTER   11. 

COMES   TO    SOUNDINGS. 

Friday^  Sept.  14,  1855.  —  For  the  last  few  clays, 
with  a  strong  S.  S.  W.  wind,  we  have  been  rushing 
through  the  waves  at  a  tremendous  rate,  frequently 
twelve  or  fourteen  knots  an  hour,  getting  up  such  a 
momentum  indeed  that  we  begin  to  fear  we  shall  not 
be  able  to  put  on  the  brakes  and  stop  in  time  to  keep 
from  running  down  the  small  island  of  Great  Britain, 
(an  accident  which  would  exert  an  important  influ- 
ence upon  the  course  of  Mr.  Browne's  future  travels, 
and  also  upon  the  issue  of  the  war). 

Saturckif/,  Sept.  loth.  —  Great  Britain  may  con- 
sider herself  safe  for  the  present.  We  have  n't  mo- 
mentum enough  to-day  to  run  down  a  fishing  smack. 
In  fact  it  is  a  dead  calm,  and  very  provoking  too,  so 
near  land.  Obtained  soundings  to-day  for  the  first 
time  in  about  eighty  fathoms  water.  So  there  is  an 
Eastern  continent  here  at  last,  if  we  only  go  down 
deep  enough  for  it.     My  first  impressions  of  Europe 


EXPEllIEXCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  7 

are,  I  must  confess,  rather  vague  and  indefinite.  Its 
splendors  don't  strike  me  yet  very  forcibly.  If  the 
rest  of  it  is  like  that  portion  which  I  have  already 
seen  (what  was  brought  up  on  a  deep  sea  lead),  I 
think  the  soil  must  be  poor. 

Wednesday,  Sept.  19lh. —  I  have  been  sick;  sick 
at  sea ;  and,  worse  than  all,  sick  in  a  calm  at  sea, 
with  the  ship  pitching  and  tossing  at  random,  instead 
of  regularly.  Woke  the  other  night  from  my  first 
sleep  with  quite  a  number  of  unpleasant  sensations 
that  I  was  already  familiar  with,  besides  several  new 
acquaintances.  A  redhot  needle  in  each  eye  ;  sharp 
knives  thrust  through  the  temples  ;  a  boa  constrictor 
squeezing  my  chest  and  shoulders  ;  the  hugest  kind 
of  an  elephant  trampling  on  the  small  of  my  back  ; 
legs  broken  on  the  wheel  and  stretched  on  the  rack 
and  burned  in  the  fire  all  at  once  ;  this  can  only  give 
a  faint  idea  of  the  disagi-eeablcs  of  that  night.  I  felt 
enormously  large  and  heavy ;  my  head  a  perfect 
mountain;  my  limbs  big  trunks  of  trees;  my  body 
as  large  as  the  Colossus  at  Rhodes,  and  all  made  of 
lead.  I  had  ever  so  many  things  to  do  which  could  n't 
possibly  be  done ;  impossible  num.bers  to  count,  im-- 
possible  burdens  to  lift,  impossible  mountains  to 
climb  and  seas  to  cross.  Every  thing  that  can't  be 
done  I  felt  obliged  to  do  at  once.     I  had  to  square 


8  MB,  DUNN  Browne's 

the  circle,  to  discover  perpetual  motion  and  the  phi- 
losopher's stone,  and  the  philosophy  of  the  spiritual 
rappings  ;  to  inscribe  a  four-sided  equilateral  triangle 
in  a  circle  whose  diameter  should  be  five  times  its  cir- 
cumference, and  several  other  geometrical  problems  of 
equal  ease.  Remained  in  this  delightful  state  of  body 
and  mind  through  the  night  and  part  of  the  next 
day,  but  am  now  "complaining"  of  being  a  little 
better,  though  I  can't  possibly  get  well  or  calm  again 
till  this  calm  in  the  wind  ceases. 

Thursday^  Sept.  20th. — With  what  joy  did  we  rush 
on  deck  last  evening  to  catch  the  first  faint  fannings 
of  a  southerly  breeze  as  they  began  to  fill  the  great 
sails  of  our  ship  and  bring  her  round  to  the  proper 
course  (she  had  been  perversely  heading  south-west 
for  several  hours  after  completely  boxing  the  compass 
during  the  day),  and  started  us  on  our  way  with  con- 
stantly accelerated  velocity;  and  all,  too,  as  gently 
as  't  were  the  breath  of  an  infant.  Truly  a  ship  is  a 
great  thing,  but  it  is  moved  by  a  little  wind  and 
guided  by  a  small  helm,  turned  by  the  strength  of  a 
single  man. 

Friday,  Sept.  2ist.  —  I  am  much  better,  but  the 
breeze,  poor  thing,  is  dead,  and  a  whole  brood  of 
hopes  buried  with  it.     A  government  steamer  (for 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.         9 

■  the  Mediterranean  probably)  has  just  crossed  our 
bows,  gliding  along  c[uietly  eleven  or  twelve  knots 
per  hour  I  consider  it  a  decided  insult  to  us  that  she 
should  pass  thus  near  just  to  aggravate  our  feelings. 
But  now  to  avenge  us  on  her,  the  wind  is  springing 
up  again.  Unfortunately  it  is  dead  against  us,  but  a 
head  wind  is  better  far  than  none,  for  a  ship  is  a 
contrary  sort  of  a  female,  (quite  unlike  the  rest  of 
the  sex,)  and  will  go  right  in  the  teeth  of  an  oppos- 
ing force,  but  let  her  alone  and  she  won't  go  at  all. 
The  old  Quickstep  will  coquette  along  up  the  chan- 
nel, now  steering  for  the  Parlez-Vous,  and  now  back 
again  to  the  embrace  of  John  Bull,  till  it  is  a  wonder 
if  she  does  n't  miss  both  parties  and  get  off  to  Norway. 
Mondmj,  Sept.  24///.  —  A  pilot  came  on  board  yes- 
terday afternoon,  and  cheered  us  with  the  informa- 
tion  that  in  a  week  or  ten  days  we  should  probably 
arrive  in  London,  beating  up  under  the  present  wind. 
Weary  with  the  nine  days  we  had  been  already 
tossed  about  without  any  perceptible  progress,  four  of 
us  chartered  his  boat  and  came  to  land  last  evening 
at  Torquay,  a  town  of  some  15,000  inhabitants,  about 
40  miles  to  the  eastward  of  Plymouth.  The  situa- 
tion of  the  town  on  the  bold  headlands  of  Torbay 
is  delightful  in  the  extreme,  and  all  that  wealth  and 


10  MR.    DUNX   BROAVNE'S 

art  can  do  to  improve  nature  has  been  added.    Either - 
my   eye    never   beheld   such    a   scene    of  cultivated 
beauty,  or  thirty  days  at  sea  warps  one's  judgment 
somewhat  in  reference  to  the  dear  old  solid  land. 

Yours,  once  more  safe  on  "  terra  firma." 


EXPERIEXCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  11 


CHAPTER   III. 

TERRESTRIAL   SEA-SICKNESS. 

An  English  inn  of  the  good,  old-fashioned  sort,  is 
just  the  most  comfortable  place  in  the  world  next  to 
your  own  honrie.  Small,  quiet,  clean,  with  good  beds, 
the  most  admirable  cookery  and  best  of  servants, 
giving  yon  just  what  you  ask  for  and  at  any  hour  of 
day  or  night;  a  man  who  would  gruinl)lo  under  such 
circumstances  ought  to  attend  his  own  funeral  as 
soon  as  possible,  and  leave  this  beautiful  world  to 
more  reasonable  people.  Early  Monday  morning,^ 
after  enjoying  a  nice  "  mutton-chop,"  (I  never  under- 
stood the  full  meaning  of  that  tender,  juicy,  delicious 
word  till  our  bright,  tidy,  black-eyed,  and  rosy-cheeked 
Susan,  with  her  coquettish  muslin  cap  and  her  merry 
laugh,  having  spread  the  table  for  four  in  our  own 
little  parlor,  brought  them  in  all  smoking  hot,  with 
the  proper  accompaniments,)  I  sallied  out  for  a  stroll, 
taking  an  umbrella,  for  though  the  morning  was 
bright  and  fair,  yet  I  knew  by  the  accounts  of  travel- 


12  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

lers  that  it  always  rains  in  England  before  night, 
and  was  determined  to  show  the  weather  that  I 
wasn't  to  be  taken  in  by  appearances. 

Every  thing  about  an  English  town  is  strange  to  a 
Yankee ;  the  buildings  all  of  solid  stone,  and  gable 
end  to  the  street ;  the  tiled  and  thatched  roofs ;  the 
immense  walls  about  the  gentlemen's  residences  (so 
that  you  might  call  an  Englishman's  house  not  only 
"his  castle,"  but  almost  his  prison)  ;  the  narrow  and 
crooked  streets;  and  above  all  the  infinite  variety  of 
vehicles  you  see  therein,  of  the  most  fantastic  shapes, 
and  generally  four  times  as  strong  and  heavy  as  they 
need  be.  Then  there  are  the  multitudes  of  donkeys, 
in  carts  and  in  carriages,  with  huge  panniers  and 
packsaddles,  driven  by  little  ragged  urchins,  ridden 
by  big  men  and  women,  and  unmercifully  beaten 
with  sticks. 

But  I  was  too  much  intoxicated  with  the  freedom 
of  the  land  after  being  shut  up  so  long  in  a  ship  to 
confine  myself  to  the  streets  or  roads  even,  but 
quickly  branched  off  into  the  fields,  wandering  over 
hill  and  dale  without  any  regard  to  direction  or  dis- 
tance, unmindful  of  hedges,  walls,  gates,  and  boards 
full  of  warnings  to  trespassers;  picked  the  cunning 
little  flowers  under  my  feet,  patted  all  the  donkeys 
(four-legged  ones)  I  met ;  one  of  whom  ungi*atefully 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  13 

kicked  me  in  return  (I  patted  him  considerably  harder 
next  time) ;  chased  the  sheep  (who  were  so  fat  and 
tame  they  wouldn't  make  much  sport)  ;  plunged  by 
and  by  into  a  village  school  among  a  hundred  of  the 
noisiest  little  rogues  I  ever  saw ;  scrambled  a  hun- 
dred yards  down  some  steep  cliffs  and  took  a  sea 
bath ;  took  a  bath  of  another  sort  before  I  got  up 
again ;  straying  a  while  longer,  found  a  little  one- 
story  village,  and  went  into  a  funny,  black,  smoky 
ale-house,   made   of  stones,   brick,  and    mud,    with 
thatched  roof  sixty  years  old  they  told  me,  (the  house 
may  have   been,  for  ought  I  know,    six    hundred) ; 
purchased    of  a  smiling  woman,  as    little,  old,  and 
queer  as  the  house  itself,  four-pen'orth  of  bread  and 
cheese  and  a  mug  of  ale  ;  found  that  I  was  five  miles 
from  Torquay,  that  one  of  my  feet  was  blistered,  and 
that,  after  all,  an  ocean  voyage  isn't  the  best  prepara- 
tive for  a  long  walk  in  the  country,  so  far  as  legs  are 
concerned. 

To  shorten  the  distance  back,  I  left  the  road,  went 
over  a  steep  hill  and  some  twenty  hedges,  took  a 
wrong  turn  and  went  two  miles  past  the  town.  Ac- 
cordingly proceeded  to  negotiate  with  the  driver  of  a 
fish  cart,  whom  I  happened  to  find  going  the  same 
way,  to  carry  me  back,  he  stipulating  that  I  should 
stand  a  pot  of  half-and-half,  and  binding  himself  to 


14  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

set  me  down  at  the  toll-gate  about  half  a  mile  from 
my  inn,  which  treaty  was  carried  out  to  our  mu- 
tual satisfaction.  Hobbled  home,  lame,  hungry,  and 
sleepy,  about  7  P.  M.,  from  my  first  walk  in  the 
mother  country. 

My  Cockney  companions  being  bound  for  London 
by  the  night  express,  I  bade  them  adieu  at  an  early 
hour  and  left  them  in  company  with  sundry  flagons 
of  beer,  industriously  preparing  for  their  departure, 
but  was  somewhat  surprised  to  find  one  of  them 
next  morning  left  behind,  having  been  detained  by  a 
sudden  attack  of  sea-sickness,  accompanied  by  vom- 
iting and  other  disagi-eeable  symptoms.  He  recov- 
ered sufficiently,  however,  with  a  light  breakfast  and 
a  cup  of  coffee,  to  take  the  rail  with  me  for  the 
North,  on  through  beautiful  Exmouth  and  cathedral- 
crowned  Exeter,  till  at  last  I  stopped  at  Bristol  and 
left  him  with  the  farewell  prescription  of  total  absti- 
nence from  ale,  as  most  likely  to  prevent  the  recur- 
rence of  that  sea-malady  which  had  troubled  him  the 
previous  night. 

This  Bristol  is  a  low,  dirty,  smoky,  old,  dilapidated 
town  which  wouldn't  pay  for  visiting  except  as  a 
contrast  to  some  other  fine  ones  in  its  vicinity. 
After  visiting  two  or  three  fine  old  churches,  I  walked 
out  to  Clifton,  two  miles,  to  St.  Vincent's  Rocks, 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    I'ARTS.  15 

where  is  a  scene  which  amply  atones  even  for  Bristol ; 
a  gorge  about  300  feet  deep  with  a  river  running  be- 
tween its  banks,  on  which  gay,  sharp  little  steamers 
some  seventy  feet  long  and  about  three  feet  wide  were 
plying,  and  then  the  most  romantic  and  enchanting 
scenery  in  the  distance.  All  the  hills,  trees,  houses, 
fields,  and  hedges  for  miles  around  are  arranged  with 
an  especial  reference  to  the  view  from  Clifton 
Heights;  even  the  flocks  of  sheep,  I  noticed,  had 
men  and  dogs  employed  to  keep  them  in  picturesque 
attitudes.  Tried  to  throw  a  stone  across  the  river 
below.  The  first  one  fell  short  amongst  a  parcel  of 
children  playing  on  the  bank ;  the  next  just  missed 
one  of  the  little  steamers  above  mentioned,  which 
was  crowded  with  people ;  and  the  thought  about 
that  time  occurring  to  me  that  this  was  a  rather  dan- 
gerous amusement,  I  desisted,  and  proceeded  to  in- 
vest a  couple  of  shillings  in  the  purchase  of  some 
specimens  of  the  rock,  which  is  in  part  composed  of 
petrified  animals  and  vegetables,  and  becomes  very 
brilliant  when  properly  polished. 


16  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER   IV. 

THE  CITY  OP  PRINCE  BLADUD. 

The  air  at  Bristol  being  composed  of  every  thing 
but  oxygen  and  nitrogen,. at  least  every  thing  that  is 
black  and  smoky  and  noxious,  I  decided  not  to  risk 
myself  through  the  night  in  such  a  location,  and 
came  on  twelve  miles  towards  London  to  the  famous 
city  of  Bath,  "  the  Queen  of  the  West."  Now  it  is 
no  great  matter  to  arrive  in  a  strange  place  at  eleven 
o'clock  at  night ;  but  when  that  place  happens  to  be 
full  of  soldiers,  and  all  the  hotels  crowded  to  over- 
flowing, (an  English  inn  will  accommodate  from  four 
to  six  individuals  in  an  emergency,)  why  the  case 
is  different,  and  the  symptoms  are  aggravated  by 
every  new  negative  to  your  request  for  a  bed.  After 
being  repulsed  from  the  "  Blue  Boar "  and  the 
"  Golden  Lion  "  and  the  "  Green  Dragon,"  as  well  as 
several  other  impossible  animals,  after  attacking  sev- 
eral "Castles"  in  vain,  being  cut  loose  from  the  "  An- 
chor," discharged  from  the  "  Queen's    Arms,"    and 


EXI'ERIEXCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  17 

hissed  away  from  the  "  Goose  and  Gridiron  ; "  I  fol- 
lowed the  ragged  boy  whom  I  had  t-ngaged  as 
guide  up  a  dark  lane  about  three  feet  wide,  of 
various  heights  and  longer  even  than  "  that  lane 
which  has  no  turning,"  for  this  had  six  or  seven  at 
least,  to  the  "  Rose  and  Crown,"  which  had  already 
its  complement  of  half  a  dozen  lodgers,  but  by  per- 
suading two  acquaintances  to  sleep  together,  I  found 
here  rest  at  last  for  my  weary  feet. 

In  the  morning,  during  the  two  hours  that  inter- 
vened between  breakfast  and  the  departure  of  our 
train  for  London,  I  made  a  minute  and  detailed  ex- 
amination of  this  city  of  70,000  inhabitants  ;  visi'ted 
the  Pump  Rooms,  going  several  streets  out  of  the 
way  in  order  not  to  see  a  review  of  those  soldiers  who 
had  troubled  me  so  much  the  previous  night :  ana- 
lyzed the  waters  of  Prince  Bladud's  Fount  (by  drink- 
ing a  couple  of  glasses) :  detected  therein  very  plainly 
Sam  Weller's  "  Killibbyate  "  taste,  and  two  or  three 
other  distinct  villanous  flavors :  so  that,  being  also 
lukewarm,  it  is  exactly  one  of  those  delightful  com- 
pounds which  the  doctors  delight  to  force  down  peo- 
ple's throats  in  gallons  for  the  benefit  of  their  health  : 
visited  the  Old  Abbey  Church,  one  of  the  most  beau- 
tiful, both  externally  and  internally,  in  the  kingdom  ; 

the  Crescents,  Parks,  Circus,  etc. :  climbed  up  from 

2 


18  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

the  bowl  to  the  rim  of  the  great  basin  in  which  the 
city  is  situated,  and  should  have  spilled  myself  over 
into  the  adjacent  lovely  country,  but  my  time  was  up, 
my  train  was  waiting  and  engine  puffing  in  haste  to 
take  me  away  to  London. 

Railway  travelling  is  in  several  respects  different 
in  England  from  the  same  thing  in  America.     You 
are  not  annoyed  by  the  dust  and  cinders  which  are 
the  inseparable  abomination  of  our  cars ;  you  enter 
the  car  at  the  side  instead  of  at  the  end  ;  nobody  can 
get  in  without  a  ticket ;  you  are  locked  in  ;  and  the 
conductor  whistles  instead  of  the  engine.     The  pas- 
scHger  cars  are  much  smaller  and  less  splendid  than 
the  American;  have  larger  wheels  and  no  brakes  at- 
tached.    No  road  or  street  crosses  the  track,  all  are 
either  above  or  below.     In  general,  all  the  business 
of  the  road  is  managed  in  a  much -more  clumsy  and 
more  safe  way  than  with  us,  and  by  six  times  more 
men,  who  know  each  his  own  duty  and  nothing  else. 
For  instance,  I  asked  eleven  railway  employes  (at 
least  they  had  on  the  railway  uniform,  though  they 
didn't  seem  to  be  very  busily  employed)  and  two  of 
them  engineers,  before  I  could  fmd  out  the  width  of 
the  gauge  of  the  Great  Western  road  on  which  we 
were  riding,  and  the  last  man  could  only  answer, 
after  measuring,  that  it  was  seven  feet.     Would  any 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  19 

Yankee  be  lounging  about  the  track  months,  or  years 
l)erhaj3S,  and  not  find  out  how  far  apart  the  rails  were  ? 
I  trow  not. 

Shortly  after  leaving  Bath,  we  plunged  into  the 
bowels  of  the  earth,  and  remained  in  total  darkness 
so  long  that  our  emerging  at  the  Antipodes  really  be- 
gan to  seem  a  thing  quite  to  be  expected.  Feeling 
after  my  next  neighbor  and  instituting  inquiries,  I 
found  we  were  in  the  "Box"  tunnel,  which  is  only 
three  miles  long,  though  it  seems  ten  at  least.  Our 
engine  did  open  its  mouth  here  for  the  first  and  last 
time,  and  uttered  one  shriek  of  triumph  as  we  came 
forth  into  daylight  again.  But  after  all,  the  noise  of 
an  English  engine  is  a  mere  baby's  squeak  compared 
with  the  hideous,  terrific,  unearthly  roar  of  a  Yankee 
locomotive.  We  passed  over  and  under  and  through 
several  fine  towns  and  a  great  deal  of  lovely  and  fer- 
tile country  during  the  day,  and  about  five  o'clock 
began  to  smell  and  taste  London,  which  we  also  saw 
and  heard  half  an  hour  later,  and  which  place  is  the 
present  abiding  place  of  your  humble  pilgrim  and. 
servant. 


20  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER   V. 

IN  "  TOWN." 

If  London  could  be  cut  up  into  a  dozen  parts  and 
taken  in  twelve  separate,  distinct  doses,  the  effect 
might  perhaps  be  pleasant  and  healthful ;  but  as  it  is, 
all  together,  swallowed  whole,  it  nearly  kills  one. 
Yes,  I  am  compelled  to  say,  London  is  entirely  too 
big.  And  yet  the  infatuated  inhabitants,  far  from 
acknowledging  and  seeking  to  remedy  this  defect,  go 
on  adding  house  to  house,  and  street  to  street,  till 
one  begins  to  feel  that  it  i-i  by  a  wise  dispensation 
of  Providence,  England  is  an  island,  that  so  a  limit 
must  come  some  time  to  the  growth  of  this  monster. 
The  streets  have  used  up  all  the  names  and  several 
times  over,  so  that  in  many  instances  a  dozen  differ- 
ent streets  are  called  by  the  same  appellation,  and  a 
surname  has  to  be  taken  up  behind,  as,  "  Broad  st., 
Bloomsbury,"  that  is,  that  particular  Broad  street, 
which  intersects  Bloomsbury  street. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  21 

Taking  a  stroll  the  morning  after  my  arrival,  I 
came  ii))on  a  little,  muckly,  narrow,  insignificant 
stream,  with  a  few  boats  moving  about  on  it  and  a 
great  many  more  lying  high  and  dry  on  either  side. 
"Does  this  little  creek  run  into  the  Thames?" 
inquired  I  of  a  very  prim  looking  gentleman  standing 
near.  "  Run  into  the  Thames  I  "  repeated  he,  darting 
from  beneath  his  spectacles  a  look  of  mingled  aston- 
ishment, grief,  and  indignation,  (which  would  cer- 
tainly have  withered  me  if  the  spectacles  had'nt  for- 
tunately been  present  to  break  somewhat  the  shock,) 
"  That,  my  dear  sir,  is  the  noble  river  Thames."  Of 
course  I  did  not  prolong  the  conversation  under  the 
circumstances,  but  couldn't  help  thinking  the  river  as 
much  too  small  as  the  city  too  large.  Taking  how- 
ever another  view  in  the  afternoon  when  the  tide  had 
risen  upwards  of  twenty  feet,  I  felt  that  I  had  done 
Father  Thames  an  injustice,  to  atone  for  which,  I 
have  ever  since  admired  his  docks,  bridges,  and  ships, 
every  thing  that  is  his,  to  the  utmost  extent. 

There  is  nothing  brilliant  about  London,  but 
every  thing  is  made  for  service.  The  houses  are  rough, 
black,  and  grim,  with  walls  two  or  three  feet  thick ; 
the  carts  and  carriages  heavy,  huge,  and  not  to  be 
broken  by  any  number  of  concussions ;  and  the 
horses    that    drew   them,   especially    the    dray    and 


22  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

brewer's  horses,  perfect  elephants  in  size  and  strength. 
Every  thing  is  done  slowly  and  methodically  in 
London.  It  is  as  difficult  to  hurry  an  Englishman 
as  it  is  to  check  a  Yankee,  The  one  can't  be 
dragged  out  of  a  regular  routine  of  duty,  the  other 
can't  be  driven  into  it.  The  English  guide,  how- 
ever, who  conducts  you  over  the  public  buildings, 
must  be  most  emphatically  excepted  from  the  above 
remark.  He  is  any  thing  but  slow,  and  annihilates 
time  and  space  in  a  way  to  make  railways  and 
electric  telegraphs  hide  their  diminished  heads. 
With  him  a  thousand  years  are  but  as  a  quarter  of 
an  hour,  and  a  whole  empire  full  of  poets,  states- 
men, and  heroes,  only  a  five  minutes'  walk.  Having 
pocketed  the  shillings,  or  the  sixpences,  as  the  case 
may  be,  the  object  is  to  get  rid  of  us  in  the  shortest 
possible  time,  to  be  ready  for  the  next  pocket  full  of 
small  change.  An  usher  of  the  black  robe  conducted 
a  dozen  of  us  sixpences  through  that  large  and 
ancient  portion  of  Westminster  Abbey,  which  is  not 
open  to  the  public,  in  fifteen  minutes;  and  an  old 
fat  fellow  in  flame  color  (how  he  came  to  be  fat  I 
can't  imagine)  circulated  some  twenty  of  us  shil- 
lings through  the  Tower,  with  its  ten  thousand  ob- 
jects of  interest,  in  less  than  half  an  hour,  including 
the  visit  to  the  jewel  room  where  a  glib-tongued 


EXPERIENCES   IN    FOREIGN   PARTS.  23 

matron  rattled  ofT  to  ns  in  a  sing-song  tone,  with- 
out once  stopping  to  take  breath,  what  I  presume 
to  have  been  (for  I  could  n't  distinguish  the  words) 
a  description  of  the  various  crowns,  sceptres,  swords, 
rings,  bracelets,  and  other  baubles  which  we  saw 
glittering  in  a  glass  case  before  us.  After  slie  had 
finished  her  rigmarole  and  the  old  fellow  in  spangled 
scarlet  had  dragged  off  the  party,  wishing  to  obtain 
one  item  of  definite  information  if  possible,  I  asked 
the  woman  which  was  the  great  Koh-i-noor  diam'Ond, 
but  she  could  not  inform  me,  though  upon  reflection 
she  pointed  out  the  Koh-i-noor  bracelet,  where  sure 
enough  I  saw  the  monster  gem  sparkling  in  the 
midst  of  a  cluster  of  inferior  stones  like  a  sun  among 
stars.  They  learn  every  thing  by  rote  and  are  puz- 
zled by  the  simplest  question,  if  it  require  an  answer 
not  precisely  contained  in  their  catechism. 

St.  Paul's  cathedral  again,  is  sold  in  small  parcels 
to  suit  purchasers,  a  sixpence  to  go  down  here,  one 
and  sixpence  to  go  up  there,  etc.,  so  that  it  costs 
you  something  over  a  dollar  to  see  the  whole,  and 
the  hurrving  process  practised  here  is  still  more 
shameless  than  in  the  other  places.  In  fact  we 
spent  about  three  minutes  in  the  crypts  beneath  the 
church,  and  I  was  threatened  with  a  locking  down 
for    lingering  a  moment  beside    Nelson's    tomb.     I 


24  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

knew  however  that  another  party  would  be  along 
soon,  and  so. was  not  greatly  terrified.  Now  if  these 
plump  old  churchmen  must  make  the  house  of  God 
a  source  of  profit,  why  can't  they  pocket  the  shil- 
lings, and  then  have  a  few  sentinels  on  guard  about 
the  building  to  see  that  it  sustains  no  detriment,  and 
leave  the  spectator  to  roam  about  at  his  leisure,  and 
indulge  in  the  appropriate  emotions  without  the 
abominable  nuisance  of  an  illiterate  blockhead  of  a 
guide  ?     1  pause  for  a  reply. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOKEIGN   PARTS.  2o 


CHAPTER   VI. 

LEAVES    "TOWN." 

The  best  thing  about  London,  the  most  healthful, 
the  loveliest,  finest,  and  most  magnificent,  the  super- 
lative of  all  the  good  adjectives,  that  only  which 
redeems  London  from  the  curse  of  its  vastness,  is, 
the  parks,  hills  and  meadows,  groves  and  forests, 
right  in  the  heart  of  the  city  where  you  can  hide 
yourself  away  from  all  its  sights  and  sounds  as 
completely  as  if  a  thousand  miles  away ;  quiet, 
lovely  green  islands  in  the  ocean  of  London,  against 
which  the  waves  of  toil  and  business  beat  in  vain. 

The  palaces  and  prisons  of  the  great  metropolis 
I  have  seen,  but,  receiving  no  pressing  invitation 
to  enter  either,  have  had  experience  only  of  their 
most  comfortable  side  —  the  outside.  The  gloom- 
iest, least  desirable  residence  of  them  all  is  St.  James' 
palace,  and  Newgate  prison  the  next.  The  others 
are  very  much  after  the  common  sort.     Buckingham 


26  MR.    DUNN    BROWNE'S 

palace  is  a  large,  substantial,  plain,  comfortable-look- 
ing, three-story  house,  a  very  respectable  tenement 
for  the  queen  or  any  one  else,  only  the  rent  is  rather 
high.  About  Lambeth  palace  I  cannot  speak  very 
definitely.  Walked  round  it  the  other  morning, 
some  two  miles,  under  the  shadow  of  a  high,  black 
wall,  to  see  if  there  was  any  place  to  enter  or  get  a 
view  of  it,  and  there  isn't  the  smallest  spot,  save 
that  at  one  corner  you  can  get  a  glimpse  of  a  few 
of  the  highest  towers.  How  the  poor  old  arch- 
bishop manages  to  get  in  and  out,  unless  he  uses 
a  balloon,  is  a  puzzle  to  me. 

"With  regard  to  the  new  Parliament  Houses,  which 
arc  consuming  the  people's  money  at  such  a  ruinous 
rate,  I  really  cannot  make  up  my  mind  as  yet 
whether  to  admire  them  greatly  or  not ;  the  work 
however  will  not  be  suspended  to  await  my  decision. 
There  is  one  notable  circumstance,  though,  which 
I  can't  help  mentioning.  In  all  that  immense  pile 
of  building,  covering  acres  of  ground,  there  isn't 
a  room  capable  of  containing  five  hundred  people. 
Even  the  hall  of  the  House  of  Commons,  which 
numbers  six  hundred  and  fifty-six  members,  I  think, 
can  only  seat  three  hundred  persons  at  most  (a  tall 
policeman  and  I  counted  the  benches)  ;  so  you  see 
that  a  seat  in   Parliament  requires  something  more 


EXPERIENCES   IX   FOREIGN   TARTS.  27 

than  an  election.  I  do  n't  \vondc>r  now  at  there  being 
so  many  "contested  scats,"  but  should  think  trouble 
of  that  sort  would  occur  every  night.  The  intelligent 
policeman,  above  referred  to,  however,  gave  me  a 
tolerably  satisfactory  explanation  of  the  matter,  i.  e. 
that  one  half  the  members  of  the  house  were  always 
in  the  refreshment  rooms  recruiiiiig  exhausted  na- 
ture, the  illiberal  public  sentiment  of  England  not 
allowing  legislators  to  devour  peanuts  and  ham- 
sandwitches  in  the  house  during  tiie  sittings,  as  is 
practised  so  generally  in  our  own  more  enlightened 
Congress. 

The  only  wonderful  thing  about  the  world-re- 
nowned Thames  Tunnel  is  that  it  should  cost  so 
much  money  to  dig  so  small  a  hole.  The  difficulty 
of  its  completion  is  only  surpassed  by  its  uselessness, 
now  it  is  done.  The  penny  admission  fee,  however, 
is  well  expended,  for  it  presents  the  cheapest  method 
T  know  of,  of  descending  from  the  heights  of  fancy 
to  the  depths  of  reality. 

The  British  Museum  and  the  Crystal  Palace  at 
Sydenham  are,  each,  a  great  world  into  which  one 
needs  to  be  born  and  live  a  whole  life  in  order  to 
describe  it,  and  as  my  existence  was  but  an  infantile 
one  of  a  single  day  in  each,  of  course  a  description 
is  out  of  the  question.     You  see  every  thing  that 


28  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

you  expected  to  see,  and  every  thing  that  you  didn't 
expect  to  see.  Wonders  upon  wonders  rise  before 
you  till  the  eye  is  tired  with  seeing,  and  you  are 
glad  to  take  one  parting  look  of  the  huge  Bulls  of 
Nineveh,  to  catch  one  last  flash  of  light  reflected 
from  the  glorious  palace  of  glass,  and  go  home  ex- 
hausted from  very  fulness.  One  portion  of  the 
magnificent  grounds  of  the  Sydenham  Palace  is 
profusely  adorned  with  Ichthyosauri  and  Iguanodons 
and  all  the  other  imaginary  and  impossible  monsters 
with  which  poetical  geologists  have  delighted  to 
people  our  world  during  those  vast  periods  that 
elapsed  before  its  creation.  These  animals  are 
mostly  built  of  bricks  and  stucco,  rather  in  the 
grotesque  style  of  architecture,  with  a  decided 
leaning  to  the  Tusk-a.n  style  in  ornament.  The 
general  effect  is  nightmareish  and  bugbeary  and 
hobgoblinical  in  the  extreme.  Young  England  and 
its  nurses  pass  through  these  walks  with  suppressed 
breath  and  trembling  steps. 

The  Bank  of  England  is  a  suspicious,  ill-looking 
building,  without  any  windows  and  shockingly  low 
as  if  it  had  been  driven  into  the  ground  a  couple  of 
stories,  but  it  is  very  richly  gilded  within.  One  of 
the  cashiers  politely  requested  my  name  and  resi- 
dence upon  a  bit  of  paper  I  had  in  my  pocket,  and 


EXPERIENCES    IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  29 

then  very  luindsomcly  presented  me  with  five  golden 
sovereigns  therefor  ;  witii  which  sum  I  decided  to 
leave  London  at  once,  before  I  fell  among  any  more 
thieves  and  guides. 

On  my  journey  I  called  at  Brighton  with  its  beauti- 
ful beach,  its  suspension  pier,  and  its  pretty  houses 
built  of  pebbles  laid  up  in  cement ;  Chichester,  with 
its  ancient  cross  and  fine  old  cathedral  containing 
many  of  Flaxman's  choicest  groups  of  sculpture ; 
Portsmouth,  with  its  grim  fortifications  and  huge 
war-ships,  (among  which  I  visited  the  "  Victory  "  on 
which  Nelson  died,)  and  its  enormous  dockyard, 
where  I  was  refused  admission  because  I  was  an 
American,  and  told  them  I  would  willingly  wait  till 
we  came  over  and  captured  Portsmouth  and  could 
examine  at  our  leisure  ;  wandered  a  day  over  the 
lovely  Isle  of  Wight,  a  perfect  paradise  of  verdure, 
and  reluctantly,  with  many  a  lingering  look  at  the 
romantic  scenery  about  Osborne  house,  (one  of  the 
Queen's  summer  residences,)  passed  over  to  South- 
ampton and  embarked  for  Havre.  So  good-by 
to  glorious  old  England  for  the  present,  and  "  bon- 
jour  "  to  her  sprightly  ally. 


30  '      MR.  DUNN  Browne's 


CHAPTER     VII. 

'.'UNDERGROUND    RAILROAD"    TO    PARIS. 

Custom-houses  are  certainly  among  the  customs 
which  ought  to  be  abolished  as  soon  as  practicable, 
but  if  the  evil  be  still  a  necessary  one,  it  is,  surely, 
managed  at  Havre  in  a  way  to  produce  as  little  in- 
convenience and  vexation  as  possible.  The  trav- 
eller's baggage  is  subjected  to  a  merely  nominal  ex- 
amination without  any  of  that  searching  and  rum- 
maging which  I  had  been  led  to  expect.  The  only 
trouble  about  the  matter  is  the  delay  of  an  hour  or 
two,  or  three,  consequent  thereupon.  There  being 
nothing  of  especial  interest  here  save  a  fine  quay, 
perhaps  we  may  as  well  skip  Havre  and  rush  on  to 
Rouen  as  soon  as  possible,  which  place  we  will  reach 
as  soon  as  I  have  finished  one  remark  by  way  of 
episode  in  reference  to  railroads. 

It  is  astonishing  how  many  tunnels  they  build  in 
France  and  England.  They  go  out  of  their  way 
any  time  to  find  a  hill  to  bore  through,  in  order  to 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  31 

save  land  damages,  I 'suppose.     The  road  to  Rouen 
is  mostly   subterranean.      We   passed    through    the 
cellars  of  one  or  two  towns  (and  the  attics  of  one  at 
least  by  way  of  compensation),  and  at  last  emerged 
from  one  grand,  long,  and  hideously  dark  tunnel  into 
the  very  midst  of  the  ancient  capital  of  Normandy. 
Rouen  is  the  strangest,  queerest  place  I  was  ever 
in;  there  is  not  a  thing  in  it  which  is  not  strange 
and  queer,  for  if  you  should  chance  to  light  on  any 
thing  common-place,  that  would  be  the  strangest  of 
all  from  its  very  rarity.     No  two  streets  are  on  the 
same  level  or  run  in  the  same  direction,  or  in  any 
particular  direction  at  all ;  and  no  two  houses  in  the 
same  street  are  alike  in  height,  width,  or  nearness  to 
the    centre  of    the    street.     They  arc  of  all  sorts  of 
materials,  and  the  windows  and  doors  are  thrown 
in  entirely  at  random.     It  is  called  a  Gothic  town  I 
think,  but   if  you  can't  find  specimens   of  all   the 
orders  or  at  least  disorders  of  architecture  in  every 
street,  then  I  have  studied  Eschenburg's  manual  in 
vain.     I  made  no  inquiries  for  a  map  of  the  town, 
for  I  knew  of  course  that  such  a  thing  would  be  im- 
possible to  construct,  but  strolled  about  all  the  morn- 
ing, asking  no  questions    for   the   reason    that   the 
people  in  France  don't  talk    good  French,  and  it  is 
a  wonder  to  me  now  how  I  ever  escaped  from  the 


32  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

labyrinth  or  found  any  of  the  public  buildings,  but 
fortune  favored  me  in  both  respects  more  than  I  had 
any  right  to  expect. 

The  cathedral  is  a  most  noble  and  venerable  edi- 
fice, shockingly  disfigured  by  stacks  of  miserable  little 
houses  and  shops  leaning  up  against  its  walls;  its 
facade   covered  with   delicate  tracery  in   stone  ;   its 
three  towers  of  beautiful  proportions  and  lofty,  one 
(of  iron)  three  hundred  and  eighty  feet  high,  if  I  un- 
derstood the  French  numerals  correctly.     The  huge 
church  of  St.  Onen  rivals  the  cathedral  itself  in  all 
except  antiquity.     Here,  finding  a  little  door  in  one 
of  the  pillars  I  availed  myself  of  the  opening,  crawled 
up  a  circular  stone  staircase  some  one  hundred  and 
fifty  feet  in  the  dark,  and  strolled  over  the  towers 
and  battlements  a  half  hour,  having  the  good  for- 
tune not  to  find   myself  locked   up  when    I  came 
down.     And  six  or  seven  more  ancient  and  costly 
churches    I  visited  in  that   morning  walk,  each  of 
which  would  make  the  fortune  of  any  other  town  in 
the  way  of  the  picturesque,  but  which  seemed  noth- 
ing wonderful  here  ;  also  the  ancient  Palace  of  Jus- 
tice and  Parliament  House;  the  statue  of  Joan    of 
Arc  in  the  market-place ;  a  curious  old  archway  and 
tower  containing  a  huge  clock  ;  a  very  old  church 
changed  into  a  blacksmith's  shop,  and  other  curious 
sights  at  every  step. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  33 

A  few  more  tunnels,  and  a  great  deal  of  lovely 
scenery  along  the  valley  of  the  Seine,  (a  punster 
would  say  that  was  only  what  we  might  expect,) 
bring  us  to  Paris  where  1  have  just  arrived,  weary, 
sleepy,  and  deperately  hungry. 


34  MR.  DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER    VIII. 

FRENCH  TALKING  AND  TALKING  FRENCH. 

Most  people  have  a  particular  set  of  organs  to  be 
used  in  talking,  called  vocal  organs;  but  a  French- 
man's organs  are  all   vocal.     He    talks  with    every 
member  and  muscle  of  his  body  and  every  article  of 
dress  he  wears.     I  don't  think  a  parcel  of  Parisians 
in  straisfht  waistcoats  could  understand  each  other. 
A   shrug  of  his  shoulders  is  a  whole  sentence.     A 
wave  of  the  hand  dispenses  flowers  of  rhetoric.     He 
emphasizes  with  his  elbows  and  punctuates  with  his 
fingers.     A    flourish   of   his   coat  tail   is  a  figure  of 
speech.     He  shakes  metaphors  from  the  folds  of  his 
pocket  handkerchief,  and  at  a'  pinch,  even  his  snuff"- 
box  serves  to  round  a  period.     You  ought  to  have 
seen  the  eloquence  of  one  old  lady's  petticoat,  the 
other  day,  as  she  was  enlarging  upon  the  advantages 
of  an  apartment,  for  the  rent  of  which  your  humble 
servant  was  negotiating.     The  grace  with  which  she 
flourished  that  article  of  wearing  apparel  about  the 


EXPERIENCES  IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  35 

room,  the  striking  attitudes  it  assisted  her  in  assum- 
ing, the  great  variety  of  meanings  it  conveyed,  cer- 
tainly gave   me  new    ideas    with   reference    to   the 
capabilities  of  dress  as  a  medium  of  thought.     Of 
course,  in  this  case,  the  petticoat  was  the    outside 
garment.     If  its  voice   had  been   stilled    under  the 
folds  of  a  long,  awkward  dress,  in  all   liuniau  proba- 
bility the  result  would  have  been  totally  different,  for 
my  own  unassisted  judgment  would  have  prompted 
me,  I  confess,  to  have  chosen  some  other  apartment. 
The   earnestness,  energy,  and  passion  which   the 
French  throw  into  even  the  most  ordinary  conversa- 
tion is  wonderful.     I  have  been  several  times  on  the 
point  of  interfering  to  prevent  a  quarrel,  or  quicken- 
ing my  steps  to  get  out  of  its  reach  (according  as  my 
benevolence  or  self-love  for  the  moment  preponder- 
ated), when  my  fears  have  been  removed  by  seeing 
the  supposed  combatants  wave  each  other  a  smiling 
adieu,  and  separate  in  peace.     I  have  been  hitherto 
so  much  engaged  in  seeing  |)eople  talk,  observing  the 
queer  expressions  and  movements  of  the  face  and  the 
grotesque  contortions  of  the  body,  that  I  have  had  lit- 
tle leisure  for  Iiearing;  or  for  displaying  my  own  pro- 
ficiency by  talking.     "Whatever  remarks  I  have  had 
occasion  to  make,  however,  have  been  readily  under- 
stood, while  of  the  gibberish  addressed  to  me  in  re- 


36  MR.  DUXN  Browne's 

turn,  I  could  hardly  make  out  two  words  in  a  sen- 
tence ;  which  shows  very  plainly  who  speaks  the  best 
French.  Indeed,  it  must  be  acknowledged  by  the 
greatest  admirer  of  Paris,  that  very  few  indeed  of  her 
inhabitants  speak  French  with  that  purity  and  cor- 
rectness of  jironunciation  which  are  imparted  in  most 
of  oyr  American  schools  and  colleges.  I  find,  how- 
ever, that  they  are  improving  every  day,  as  I  can  un- 
derstand them  much  better  now  than  a  week  since, 
when  I  first  arrived. 

Every  thing  is  done  here  in  the  dramatic  style,  as 
might  be  expected  in  a  city  where  thirty  thousand 
people  attend  the  theatres  every  night.  Two  market 
women,  parting  for  the  night,  bid  each  other  adieu 
with  all  the  pathos  of  captive  princesses  ordered  to 
immediate  execution.  The  driver  of  an  omnibus 
cracks  his  whip  and  shouts  to  his  horses  with  the  ar- 
dor of  a  warrior  charging  the  enemy.  The  vender  of 
cabbages  and  carrots  arranges  his  vegetables  with  an 
eye  to  the  scenic  effect.  The  blind  and  lame  bege^ars 
asking  alms  at  the  doors  of  the  churches,  form  them- 
selves into  picturesque  "  tableaux."  All  are  acting  a 
part.  Everybody  down  to  the  very  children  at  their 
play,  and  every  thing,  even  to  the  soups  of  your  din- 
ner and  the  tie  of  your  cravat,  is  "ct  /a"  somebody  or 
something  else.     And  not  only  a  theatrical  but  also  a 


EXPEllIEXCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  37 

military  air  pervades  the  whole  community,  not  con- 
fined either  to  the  inhabitants,  but  extending  over  the 
face  of  nature.  The  trees  in  the  parks  are  all  drilled 
and  disciplined  into  regular  battalions,  cropped, 
pruned,  and  trimmed  into  perfect  soldierly  uniformity, 
not  a  single  rebellit)us  branch  left  to  grow  in  its  own 
wild  luxuriaiu;e,  not  a  leaf  daring  to  rustle  out  of  its 
rank  and  file.  So  also  the  flowers  and  plants  in  the 
public  gardens  are  drawn  up  with  the  same  military 
precision,  marshalled  in  battle  array  over  against  each 
other,  poor  inoffensive  little  things,  with  no  weapons 
to  discharge,  save  perfumes.  Monsieur  FEmpereur, 
isn't  this  pushing  military  tactics  a  little  too  far  ? 


38  MR.    DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER   IX. 

PARIS    BY    GASLIGHT   AND    BY   DAYLIGHT. 

Paris  has  two  sides,  like  a  Brussels  carpet,  a  right 
side  and  a  \v  ong  side,  which  latter  must  be  kept  out 
of  sight,  if  one  wishes  only  to  edmire.  Two  thirds 
of  the  city  is  made  up  of  narrow,  dirty,  crooked, 
ugly  streets,  inhabited  by  poor,  half-starved,  ill-clad, 
wooden-shod  operatives  ;  the  other  third  is  the  abode 
of  princely  luxury  and  splendor.  In  one  of  the  great 
Cafes  on  the  fashionable  Boulevards,  a  hundred  francs 
is  very  often  paid  for  a  dinner,  and  one  can  scarcely 
get  wherewithal  to  satisfy  his  appetite  for  less  than 
thirty  francs;  while  in  a  little  eating-house  not  fifty 
paces  distant,  the  laborer  gets  a  meal  for  ten  sous. 
Although  the  palaces,  monuments,  fountains,  church- 
es, and  public  edifices  are  numerous  and  costly 
almost  beyond  belief,  and  many  parts  of  the  city  real- 
ize all  one's  anticipatory  dreams  of  the  glory  and  mag- 
nificence of  the  gay  capital,  yet  on  the  whole,  there 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  39 

is  a  little  disappointment  at  finding  this  paradise  of 
the  world  built  of  very  common  looking  stones, 
bricks,  and  mortar,  like  other  cities,  the  streets  not 
very  sweet  smelling,  and  the  men  therein  all  disfig- 
ured about  the  mouth,  by  hair  of  every  possible 
shade  of  the  dirty  colors. 

Every  thing  here  is  too  artificial.  There  is  not  one 
bit  of  pure,  unadulterated  nature  left  wdthin  the  city 
limits.  There  are  trees  enough,  but  they  are  all 
shaven  and  shorn  as  I  have  before  told  you;  hills 
enough,  but  they  are  hills  that  man  has  piled  up; 
lakes,  streams,  and  fountains  enough,  but  they  are 
only  a  series  of  ingenious  hydraulic  experiments  by 
skilful  engineers.  A  Frenchman  cannot  let  Nature 
alone.  Nothing  that  God  has  made  is  quite  perfect 
till  it  has  also  passed  under  his  own  finishing  hand. 
Luckily  he  cannot  reach  the  clouds,  or  he  would 
doubtless  set  himself  to  cut  and  shave  them  down 
into  more  regular  shape,  and  out  of  the  parings  carve 
a  parcel  of  Grecian  statues  to  set  up  on  the  arch  of 
the  rainbow. 

But  however  Paris  may  appear  by  day,  by  night 
the  scene  is  magnificent  beyond  description.  Fairy 
tales,  the  Arabian  Night's  Entertainments,  all  that 
you  have  seen,  read,  or  dreamed  of  that  is  glorious 
and  brilliant,  glimmers,  fades,  goes  entirely  oui  in  the 


40  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

comparison.  The  streets  all  in  a  blaze  of  gas-light 
and  crowded  with  bustling  vehicles  and  gay  prome- 
naders  ;  the  hundreds  of  theatres  and  other  places  of 
public  amusement,  brilliantly  illuminated  and  send- 
ing forth  peals  of  joyous  music  and  laughter;  the 
thousand  and  one  long  arcades,  covered  with  glass 
and  lined  with  a  continual  succession  of  shops  full  of 
all  manner  of  tempting  wares;  the  gorgeously  fur- 
nished cafes  and  saloons  filled  with  merry  guests  of 
both  sexes,  eating  and  drinking  together ;  the  hum  of 
the  ten  thousand  voices,  the  glare  of  the  myriad 
lights,  the  ever-changing  panorama  of  brightness, 
that  is  passing  before  you,  charms,  dazzles,  confuses, 
intoxicates,  fairly  stuns  you  into  a  state  of  staring 
wonder  and  amazement.  You  know  that  there  is 
very  little  substance  to  all  this  show,  but  you  none 
the  less  admire.  You  have  seen  the  other  end  of  the 
kaleidoscope,  how  it  is  only  little  bits  of  painted  glass 
that  are  the  basis  of  these  enchanting  visions,  still 
they  are  none  the  less  lovely  for  that.  But  in  the 
morning,  when  the  gas  is  turned  off,  and  the  fog  is 
turned  on,  when  the  elegant  carriages  have  given 
place  to  the  lumbering  drays,  when  the  blouses  and 
wooden  shoes  have  the  pavement  all  to  themselves, 
and  the  dull  shutters  conceal  from  your  view  the 
treasures  of  the  shops,  then  comes  the  disenchant- 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  41 

ment.  Bright  poetry,  stripped  of  her  feathers,  turns 
out  to  be  only  j)Iain  prose  after  all.  You  see  noth- 
ing of  your  last  night's  banquet  but  the  broken  bot- 
tles strewed  about  the  floor,  the  chairs  upside  down, 
and  the  tables  covered  with  bones  and  crunnbs.  You 
find  that  nothing  is  more  stupid  than  a  theatre  by 
daylight;  you  arc  disgusted  in  fact,  and  turning  into 
the  first  restaurant  that  appears,  call  for  a  cup  of 
strong  coffee  and  some  eggs,  for  yourself  and  your 
humble  servant,  Dunn  Broavne. 


42  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 


CHAPTER   X. 


KNICK-KNACKS. 


Paris  is  one  vast,  grand,  magnificent  toy-shop,  for 
children  of  all  ages,  where  every  thing  which  can't 
possibly  be  of  the  slightest  use  to  you,  and  which 
you  will  be  sure  to  break  in  carrying  away,  is  ex- 
posed for  sale  in  endless  variety  and  profusion.  Ten 
thousand  little  images,  busts,  and  statuettes  of  mar- 
ble, plaster,  sugar,  chocolate,  bronze,  gingerbread, 
soap,  and  porcelain,  illustrating  all  the  Heathen  My- 
thologies and  Pagan  Divinities  ever  invented,  the 
natural  history  of  all  animals  and  unnatural  history 
of  all  nations:  jewelry  enough  to  supply  all  the  in- 
habitants of  the  globe  to  the  last  naked  Hottentot, 
with  each  a  gold  watch,  half  a  dozen  rings  for  the 
fingers,  ears,  or  nose  as  fashion  shall  dictate,  a  brace- 
let or  two,  and  a  gold  tooth-pick :  a  million  walk- 
ing-sticks with  ivory  heads  carved  into  such  fantastic 
shapes  and  covered  with  such  delicate  tracery  that 
the  purchaser  dares  not  lay  hand  u})on  one,  but  car- 


EXPERIENCES    IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  43 

m 

ries  it  daintily  under  his  arm:  an  infinite  assort- 
ment of  portmonnaies  decreasing  in  size  as  they 
increase  in  price,  on  the  very  reasonable  principle 
that  the  more  you  pay  for  one,  the  less  money  you 
will  have  left  to  put  into  it :  dolls  with  staring  eyes 
and  painted  cheeks,  from  the  size  of  a  full-grown 
woman  away  down  till  the  waist  becomes  invisible 
to  the  naked  eye:  fans  enough  to  blow  a  fleet  of  the 
line  across  the  Atlantic:  ten  thousand  flimsy  articles 
of  dress  of  which  I  no  more  know  the  names  than  I 
do  what  part  of  the  body  they  are  intended  to  cover 
or  reveal :  a  world  of  perfumery  of  more  strange 
scents  than  the  sharpest  nose  ever  dreamed  of:  in- 
numerable and  indescribable  knick-knacks  to  eat, 
twisted  into  an  infinite  variety  of  forms  without  any 
substance,  delightful  to  the  taste  but  melting  into 
utter  nonentity  long  before  they  reach  the  stomach  : 
every  thing  in  short,  from  a  Jews-harp  uj:»  to  a  ten 
thousand  dollars  Sevres  vase,  and  all  arranged  with 
such  taste,  so  temptingly  displayed,  that  you  are 
certain  to  buy  something,  and  equally  certain  to  be 
sorry  for  it  after.  Your  whistle  is  so  beautifully 
gilded,  and  is  delivered  to  you  with  such  fascinating 
grace,  that  you  never  think  till  too  late,  how  dearly 
you  are  paying  for  it. 

The  French  are  just  the  nicest,  pleasantest,  most 


44  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

accommodating,  and  most  graceful  shopkeepers  in 
the  Avorld.  They  are  perfect  with  but  one  little  ex- 
ception to  show  that  they  are  mortal  after  all,  and 
that  is  in  the  matter  of  honesty.  Their  prices  are 
entirely  extempore,  and  vary  according  to  the  weather 
and  their  opinion  of  your  ignorance  of  the  article  in 
question.  It  is  amusing  to  go  into  a  shop  and  get 
the  price  of  the  same  article  on  different  days.  I  de- 
termined not  to  purchase  a  hat  till  I  found  a  man 
who  would  tell  me  the  same  sum  twice  in  succes- 
sion, and  was  a  fortnight  in  the  operation,  and  pre- 
sume that  it  was  only  by  accident  that  1  succeeded 
at  last.  Perhaps,  however,  there  is  no  intentional 
dishonesty  in  the  thing.  Nearly  all  the  articles  on 
sale  are  such  as  have  no  intrinsic  value,  and  it  is 
only  natural,  therefore,  that  their  price  should  be  a 
thermometer  of  the  ever-varying  fancy  of  the  seller. 

Speaii  of  buying  and  selling,  and  of  honesty,  nat- 
urally leads  us  to  the  Exchange,  or  Bourse,  the  great 
centre  of  financial  operations,  where  two  or  three 
thousand  merchants  meet  daily,  a  place  which,  more 
than  any  other,  has  produced  an  impression  on  my 
organs  of  hearing,  if  not  on  my  mind.  Any  one  who 
has  visited  the  New  York  Exchange,  vividly  recol- 
lects the  effect  of  the  reverberations  of  sound  under 
the  dome.    But  even  with  that  for  a  basis,  no  stretch 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  45 

• 

of  the  imagination  can  enable  one  to  form  an  ade- 
quate idea  of  the  "  noise  and  confusion  "  of  the  Paris 
Bourse.  I  just  begin  to  see  for  the  first  time  why 
brokers  are  called  bears  and  bulls.  If  there  had  been 
2,000  literal  bears  and  bulls  shut  up  under  that  dome, 
all  bellowing  and  roaring  with  migiit  and  main,  and 
each  with  a  speaking  trumpet  to  increase  the  sound, 
they  might  have  roared  themselves  hoarse  before 
they  could  rival  their  human  prototypes.  They  shut 
up  about  a  hundred  of  the  noisiest  between  the  two 
concentric  circular  railings  towards  one  end  of  the  vast 
hall,  and  it  is  highly  interesting  to  stand  in  the  gal- 
lery and  look  down  upon  their  frantic  gesticulations.. 
"  Operations  at  the  Bourse"  were  truly  "lively"  the 
day  I  visited  it.  That  Niagara  of  sound  has  beeni 
ringing  in  my  ears  ever  since ;  though  Niagara  is  a 
very  feeble  and  inadequate  comparison  for  it,  believe- 
me. 


46  MR.  Duxx  Browne's 


CHAPTER   XI. 

THE   CHURCHES    OF   PARIS. 

The  churches  are  the  most  impressive  of  all  the 
buildings  in  this  city  of  palaces  and  splendid  edifices. 
Their  great  antiquity  and  interesting  historical  asso- 
ciations ;  the  solemnity  of  this  grand  old  Gothic  ar- 
.chitecture,  more  in  unison  with  a  place  of  worship 
than  with  a  building  for  secular  purposes ;  their  lofty 
arches,  curiously  carved  ornaments,  stained  windows, 
and  the  fine  paintings  and  statues  which  adorn  them, 
combine  to  give  them  an  interest  which  nothing  else 
possesses  in  the  same  degree.  And  yet  while  the 
general  effect  is  impressive  and  edifying  in  the  high- 
est degree,  when  one  comes  to  examine  more  mi- 
nutely, he  is  constantly  stumbling  upon  such  quaint 
and  funny  carved  work,  or  such  ridiculous  and  shock- 
ing taste  in  painting,  or  in  selecting  subjects  to  paint, 
that  ten  to  one  he  doesn't  go  out  of  the  church  in  any 
better  frame  of  mind  than  he  has  on  entering.  Side 
by  side  with  the  most  delightful  pictures  illustrating 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PART.S.  47 

the  Gospel  history,  you  will  find  a  herd  of  seven- 
headed  and  ten-horned  beasts  from  the  Apocalypse, 
and  some  of  the  most  incredibly  silly  passages  from 
the  lives  of  the  Romish  saints  that  the  wildest  imag- 
ination can  conceive.     And  tlien  just  on  the  line  be- 
tween  the  ridiculous  and    sacrilegious,    come    their 
altar  pieces  with  all  sorts  of  representations  oT  the 
Deity,  the  Virgin  Mary  usually  occupying  a  promi- 
nent position  on  the  left  hand  of  the  Father,  while 
the    Son    is  on    His   right.     Over    the    door  of   the 
Church  of  St.  Vincent  de  Paul,  appears  in  bas-relief 
"  The    Hl  ly  Trinity,"    the    Father,  a    stern-looking 
man,  something  like  the  Jupiter  of  Grecian  mythol- 
ogy, with  black  hair  and  beard,  the  Son,  a  milder 
personage,  with  light  hair  and  blue  eyes,  at  his  side, 
and  the  Holy  Ghost  in  the  form  of  a  dove,  perched 
on  a  cloud  over  their  heads. 

Apropos  of  pictures  and  graven  images,  I  was 
interested  in  the  groups  which  appear  on  the  huge 
bronze  doors  of  the  Madeleine ;  illustrations  from 
Scripture  history  of  the  consequences  of  breaking 
the  several  commandments ;  not  only  from  their 
marvellous  beauty,  but  from  the  fact  that  the  second 
commandment  does  not  appear  at  all,  and  the  num- 
ber is  made  up  by  splitting  the  tenth  ;  "  Thou  shalt 
not  covet  the  wife  of  thy  neighbor,"  forming  the 
ninth,  illustrated  by  a  most  magnificent  representa- 


48  MR.    DUNN   BROWNE'S 

tion  of  the  scene  between  Nathan  and  David.  I 
had  heard  this  accusation  brought  against  the  Ro- 
man Catholics  before,  but  never  saw  any  proof  of  it 
until  now,  as  the  Douay  Bible,  I  think,  has  the  whole 
decalogue  correctly. 

There  is  no   situation  so  fitted  to   solemnize   the 
mind,  and  fill  it  with  devotional  feeling,  as  standing 
under  the  nave  of  one  of  these  grand  old  churches 
(or  still  more  splendid  modern  ones,  the  Pantheon 
and   Madeleine,)  always   provided  it  be   done   any 
day  of  the  week  but  Sunday,  when  the  case  is  en- 
tirely altered.    I  have  attended  high  mass  one  or  two 
sabbaths,  and   such   a  conglomeration  of   excellent 
music  and  muttered  Latin,  gilt  angels,  holy  water, 
wax  candles,  and  little  boys  in  white  with  red  caps 
on,  and  kneelings  and  kissing  crucifixes,  and  ringing 
little  bells,  and  tossing  censors  in  the   air,  I  never 
saw  before,  certainly  under  the    name    of  religion. 
However  the  audience  appear  extremely  devout,  pay 
the  strictest  attention  to  all  the  exercises,  cross  them- 
selves with  holy  water  at  the  door  of  the  church,  and 
then  go  out  to  enjoy  a  fine   holiday  and  visit  the 
theatre  in  the  evening,  for  this  is  the  great  gala-day 
when  all  Paris  is  to  be  seen  in  the  streets  and  at  the 
places  of  amusement,  except  about  half  the  work- 
men, who  continue  their  labors  as  on  other  days. 
The  priests  are  a  pleasant,  polite,  benevolent-look- 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   TARTS.  49 

ing  class  of  men,  round  and  rosy-faced,  wearing 
rather  a  graceful  costume,  especially  the  hat  and 
feather,  and,  what  seems  to  me  a  little  strange,  I 
confess,  looking  precisely  alike,  of  exactly  the  same 
height,  features,  and  weight,  to  a  pound,  for  all  the 
world  like  coins  stamped  in  the  same  mould  and 
differing  only  in  the  different  degrees  of  wear  and 
tear  caused  by  the  circulation.  I  haven't  yet  made 
a  sufficient  number  of  observations  to  establish  the 
general  principle,  but  that  is  the  result  of  my  inves- 
tigation so  far. 


50  MR.   DUNN    BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER     XII. 

MUSEUMS   AND   ART   IN   PARIS. 

I  AM  a  lover  of  the  fine  arts,  and  manifested  a 
taste  in  that  direction  at  a  very  early  age,  by  draw- 
ing portraits  of  iny  schoolmates  on  the  slate  that 
should  have  been  covered  with  arithmetical  prob- 
lems, as  well  as  by  executing  several  fine  statues 
in  snow.  I  admire  pictures,  and  think  the  face  of 
nature  reflected  on  canvas,  almost  as  beautiful  as 
the  original,  and  the  faces  of  men  and  women  even 
usually  a  trifle  better  looldng  than  their  originals. 
But  moderation  is  desirable  in  all  things.  The  ap- 
petite of  the  eye  is  not  insatiable  any  more  than  that 
of  the  stomach.  For  myself,  having  examined,  dur- 
ing the  past  month,  several  hundred  acres  of  cele- 
brated paintings  and  a  corresponding  amount  of 
fine  statuary,  to  say  nothing  about  endless  collec- 
tions of  miscellaneous  odds  and  ends  of  broken 
ancient  cities  and  several   immense  palaces  full  of 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  51 

Gobelin  tapestry  and  interesting  historical  associa- 
tions, I  begin  to  confess  to  a  feeling  of  weariness 
coming  over  my  powers  of  admiration;  and  to  no 
small  joy  in  the  thought  that  I  have  only  about  a 
dozen  more  museums  to  visit  in  Paris.  Really,  it  is 
astonishing,  bewildering,  discouraging,  the  amount 
of  tlie  fine  arts  one  is  here  obliged  to  undergo.  It 
affords  one  sincere  pleasure  to  remember  that  the 
Allies  carried  away  about  half  in  1815,  and  it  even 
begins  to  appear  an  alleviating"  circumstance  to  be 
mentioned  in  favor  of  the  revolutions,  that  the  mob 
usually  amuse  themselves  by  tearing  in  pieces 
some  half  a  dozen  palaces  with  their  precious  con- 
tents ;  though  not  much  is  gained  thereby,  after  all, 
for  these  same  revolutions  in  turn  furnish  such  a 
world  of  striking  scenes  for  the  next  crop  of  artists 
to  illustrate,  that  the  loss  is  quickly  made  up,  and 
thus  the  temple  of  the  arts  ever  rises  anew  out  of 
its  ashes,  built  of  its  own  cinders,  by  the  hands  of 
its  own  destroyers,  in  the  light  of  its  own  expiring 
flames.  (I  have  a  faint  idea  that  I  am  indebted  for 
the  last  part  of  the  foregoing  sentence  to  the  com- 
position of  a  remarkably  jiromising  sophomore,  sub- 
mitted to  my  friendly  critical  inspection  in  days  of 
yore.) 

In  the  first  place,  there  is  the  Louvre,  with  its 


52  .AIR.    DUXN   BROWNE'S 

twenty-three  separate  grand  museums,  (one  of  which 
occupies  a  room  more  than  a  quarter  of  a  mile  in 
length,)  enough  in  itself  to  satisfy  any  reasonable 
city  of  a  million  inhabitants,  and  certainly  enough 
to  give  any  reasonable  man  business  for  a  lifetime 
of  study  and  meditation.  Here  are  gathered  mas- 
ter-pieces of  all  the  ages  and  nations  of  history ; 
several  ancient  cities  exhumed  from  the  grave  of 
oblivion,  and  transported  hither  bodily  by  sea  and 
by  land ;  the  sepulchres  of  the  dead,  the  warlike 
trophies,  the  sacred  utensils  of  worship,  and  the  com- 
mon household  furniture  of  all  the  nations,  kingdoms, 
and  tribes  under  the  sun  ;  works  of  art  illustrating 
every  stage  of  its  development,  every  epoch  of  its 
history  ;  the  dusty  and  mutilated  glories  of  antiquity 
as  well  as  the  still  untarnished  glories  of  modern 
times ;  all  brought  together  into  one  grand  repository, 
the  children  of  a  most  prolific  mother,  all  entertained 
around  one  hospitable  hearth. 

Next  comes  the  young  and  mighty  "  Exposition 
des  Beaux  Arts,"  with  its  six  acres  of  paintings,  its 
drawings,  engravings,  and  sculpture,  a  collection,  in 
the  opinion  of  many  judges  of  no  mean  authority, 
absolutely  unrivalled,  at  the  present  time,  in  the 
world.  But  we  have  even  now  only  just  begun  the 
enumeration,  for  there  are  yet  to  mention  the  gallery 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  53 

of  the  Luxembonrg;  the  splendid  colleetion  of  the 
"  School  of  the  Fine  Arts;"  the  score  of  Palaces  in 
and    around    Paris,    all    lavishly    adorned    with    the 
works  of  the  most  celebrated  masters;    Versailles, 
which  in  many  respects  surpasses  -all  ihe  collections 
yet  spoken  of,  and  whose  glories  positively  cannot 
be  described    nor  imagined  ;   and  aside  from   mere 
paintings    and   statuary,  the   museums  at  the   im- 
perial manufactories  of  Gobelin  tapestry  and  Sevres- 
porcelain,  those  rare  ])ictnres  in  wool  and  in  mud;, 
then  the  vast  collection  of  coins  and  medals  at  the- 
Mint,  and  a  collection  of  ancient  seals  at  the  Im- 
perial   Library,     besides    numerous    other    smaller 
museums  at  the  various  public  buildings  throughout 
the  city.     All  these  are  open   to   the   public  during 
the  great  exhibition,  and  from  all  these  comes  that 
weariness  of  which  I  have  spoken,  and  with  which" 
doubtless  you  are    in    a   state  to  sympathize,    now 
that  you  have  endured  the  enumeration. 


54  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER   XITI. 

niS   FEELINGS   ARE   TOO   MANY   FOR  HIM. 

As  it  is  one  of  the  very  first  principles  of  Art  that 
no  amount  of  nakedness  is  indecency,  and  clothing 
is  on  the  whole  dispensed  with,  except  an  occasional 
Toga  for  some  man  who  is  as  unVike  an  old  Roman 
as  possible,  and  a  sort  of  a  nondescript  flowing  robe 
which  sometimes  partly  conceals  the  lower  half  of 
the  female  form,  leaving  the  beholder  greatly  puzzled 
as  to  the  way  in  which  it  is  fastened  up,  why  one 
gets  at  last  somewhat  reconciled  to  the  thing  and 
learns  to  look  at  naked  realities  and  historical  scenes 
stripped  of  all  extrinsic  appendages  without  being 
greatly  shocked.  But  occasionally  the  paucity  of 
apparel  seems  so  glaringly  opposed  to  all  the  circum- 
stances connected  with  the  incident  represented,  that 
the  sense  of  fitness  will  rebel  against  this  rule  of  art. 
I  didn't  mind  seeing  a  very  lightly  clothed  Delilah 
caressing  a  great,  silly,  naked  Sampson  to  sleep  on 


EXPERIENCES   IX   FOREIGN   PARTS.  55 

her  lap,  because  the  probabilities  do  not  greatly  op- 
pose such  a  view  of  the  case,  nor  disturl)  myself  very 
greatly  at  seeing  a  polite,  naked  old  gentleman  of  a 
dark  brown  color  (the  servant  of  Abraham)  offering 
necklaces  and  bracelets  to  a  half-naked  damsel  of  a 
few  shades  lighter  complexion,  whom  I  took  to  be 
Rebecca,  for  it  was  a  warm  day  and  they  were  under 
the  shade  of  some  trees,  and  the  artists  must  have 
some  license.  But  when  the  very  next  picture  that 
met  my  eye  was  poor  Ruth  out  in  the  hot  sun, 
gleaning  among  the  rough  wheat-sheaves,  with 
nothing  on  but  the  above-mentioned  nondescript  gar- 
ment and  insanely  hugging  an  armful  of  bearded 
grain  against  her  tender  breast,  it  really  seemed  to  me 
that  as  the  case  is  now  out  of  Boaz'  reach,  somebody 
ought  to  interfere,  and  I  have  accordingly  spoken  out. 
Mr.  Artist,  I  appeal  to  you,  would  it  not  have  been 
better,  by  a  few  strokes  of  your  brush,  to  have  ex- 
tended that  garment  up  to  her  shoulders,  or  at  the 
very  least,  to  have  covered  the  poor  creature's  head 
with  a  broad-brimmed  palm-leaf  hat,  as  a  matter  of 
mere  humanity,  to  avoid  harrowing  people's  feelings 
with  the  sight  of  so  much  apparent  sufl'ering? 

And  then,  again,  two  thirds  of  the  female  figures, 
besides  being  represented  nude,  are  also  in  a  state  of 
repose  without  a  line  of  expression  in  their  faces  or 


56  MK.  DUNN  Browne's 

of  movement  in  their  bodies,  all  regular  and  fault- 
less and  beautiful  and  stupid  as  images  cut  in  blanc 
mange,  and  at  last  you  get  thoroughly  disgusted ' 
with  wandering  about  among  a  parcel  of  character- 
less Venuses,  Graces,  Nymphs,  and  Virgins,  with 
their  everlasting  monotony  of  well-rounded  limbs, 
plump  bodies,  and  smooth  faces.  These  are  not  all 
the  materials  necessary  to  the  composition  of  a  true 
woman,  either  in  the  world  of  real  life,  or  in  the  ideal 
world  of  art,  and  therefore  I  pronounce  half  the  stat- 
ues and  paintings  of  females  in  the  Great  Exposition 
as  veritable  shams  as  the  wax  concerns  which  the 
dress-makers  put  up  in  their  windows  to  illustrate  the 
fashions. 

There  are  a  few  women  there,  though,  especially 
the  portraits,  (I  noticed  two  or  three  among  the  Eng- 
lish portraits  this  very  day,)  whom  I  should  be  hap- 
py to  receive  into  my  very  selectest  circle  of  acquaint- 
ances. I  wonder  whether  these  portraits  are  real 
likenesses  of  anybody  or  not.  But  their  very  superi- 
ority over  the  vapid  Goddesses  and  fancy  sketches 
around  them,  shows  that  they  must  be  reflections  of 
a  real  beauty  which  exists  somewhere  besides  in  the 
brain  of  the  artist.  After  all  the  ecstacies,  however, 
into  which  people  pretend  to  fall  over  works  of  art,  a 
real  live  woman  and  a  bona  fide  tree  are  as  much 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  57 

superior  to  all  artificial  imitations  of  them,  as  the 
stripes  of  a  rainbow  to  those  of  a  calico  bed-quilt, 
and,  thank  Heaven,  we  have  both  women  and  trees 
in  our  country  in  a  perfection  not  to  be  attained  in 
the  Old  World,  so  it  is  no  great  matter  if  our  "show" 
of  pictures  at  the  Exposition  be  meagre,  which  it 
must  be  confessed  it  is,  decidedly.  There  is  a  re- 
spectable picture  of  Franklin  arguing  the  cause  of 
the  Colonies  before  the  French  king,  a  rather  striking 
one  of  a  wounded  soldier  leaning  on  the  shoulder  of 
his  beloved,  a  spirited  Broadway  sleighing  scene,  and 
another  whose  coloring  seemed  to  me  very  fine,  a 
sharp  little  negro  boy  holding  an  umbrella  over  the 
head  of  a  beautiful  Odalisque,  besides  several  por- 
traits, two  little  views  of  Niagara,  etc.  etc. 


58  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 


t  CHAPTER   XIV. 

THE   EXPOSITION   AND   THE   EMPEROR. 

The  Exposition  of  ^55  is  henceforth  to  be  spoken 
of  among  the  things  that  were.  It  is  already  shorn 
of  most  of  its  glories,  and  on  Thursday  next,  Novem- 
ber 15th,  it  is  to  be  finished,  extinguished,  fairly  blown 
out  by  a  grand  blast  of  1,500  trumpets  and  other  mu- 
sical instruments.  On  the  whole,  considering  that  it 
had  not  the  charm  of  novelty  like  its  London  proto- 
type, and  that  a  state  of  war  is  n't  exactly  favorable 
to  such  an  enterprise  (though  the  Russian  trophies 
displayed  in  great  abundance  have  attracted  much 
attention),  it  has  been  as  successful  as  could  well  be 
expected.  Many  have  pronounced  the  thing  a  failure, 
indeed,  but  on  what  grounds  I  cannot  see,  unless,  for- 
sooth, it  is  a  failure  not  to  have  gathered  there  every 
single  object  animate  and  inanimate  in  all  creation, 
for  I  can  think  of  nothing  now,  save  Dr.  Hitchcock's 
bird  tracks,  of  all  that  is  in  the  heaven  above  and  the 


EXPERIENCES   IX   FOREIGN    PARTS.  59 

earth  beneath  and  the  waters  under  the  earth,  of 
which  a  specimen  could  n't  be  found  in  some  corner 
of  the  great  palace  of  industry.  I  was  in  momen- 
tary expectation  of  putting  my  foot  into  one  of  them 
even,  but  by  some  strange  fatality,  not  one  is  to  be 
found  not  only  in  the  Exposition,  but  not  even  in  the 
vast  geological  museums  of  the  city,  the  magnificent 
and  costly  collections  at  the  Garden  of  Plants  and 
the  School  of  Mines. 

And  so  the  great  Exhibition  being  closed,  the 
Emperor  will  be  obliged  to  provide  something  else 
to  amuse  the  people  with.  His  office  is  certainly 
no  sinecure,  as  his  very  appearance  shows.  I  have  n't 
met  in  all  the  streets  of  Paris  a  more  care-worn 
countenance  than  that  of  their  ruler.  He  has  labor 
to  provide  for  all  the  workers,  and  amusement  for  all 
the  idlers.  Moreover,  bread  is  getting  exceedingly 
high,  and  the  pulse  of  the  Parisian  populace  always 
rises  with  the  price  of  food.  The  symptoms  are 
already  slightly  feverish.  A  little  incident  was 
whispered  in  my  ear  yesterday,  which  is  not  with- 
out meaning,  though  I  cannot  vouch  for  its  truth 
any  further  than  to  say  that  it  was  a  very  respectable 
person  who  told  it  to  me.  The  Emperor  was  pass- 
ing two  or  three  days  since  through  the  midst  of 
a  large  body  of  laborers  engaged  upon  one  of  the 


60  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

bridges  now  in  progress,  and  noticing  that  they  did 
not  take  off  their  hats  as  usual,  he  paused  a  moment, 
and  the  following  brief  but  expressive  dialogue  took 
place:  Emperor  —  "My  friends,  you  are  discon- 
tented." Laborers  —  (Looking  rather  sheepish  and 
some  of  them  removing  their  hats,)  "  Bread  is  too 
high."'  Emperor  —  "  My  friends,  I  am  occupying  my- 
self about  you;"  and  passed  on  without  another 
word.  But  it  takes  a  very  powerful  decree  to  make 
the  price  of  bread  fall  when  the  crops  are  short,  and 
it  is  difficult  to  induce  butchers  to  sell  meat  for 
much  less  than  they  are  obliged  themselves  to  pay 
for  it.  However,  things  are  very  quiet,  and  Louis 
Napoleon  knows  how  to  manage  the  French  people 
probably  as  well  as  anyone  ;  bat,  as  I  have  just  said, 
it  is  no  sinecure.  They  need  to  be  kept  very  busy. 
It  is  wonderful,  though,  how  they  love  the  name  of 
Napoleon  and  reverence  his  memory.  I  have  never 
heard  his  name  spoken  here  even  by  a  child  without 
a  visible  feeling  of  pride  and  reverence.  The  splen- 
dor of  his  tomb  under  the  dome  of  the  "  Invalides  " 
tells  the  same  story,  as  well  as  the  crowds  who  flock 
to  visit  it  on  the  two  public  days  in  the  week,  when 
the  top  of  the  Sarcophagus  is  removed,  and  you  can 
look  down  into  the  receptacle  and  almost  see  the 
dust  of  the  Great  Departed.     The  mothers  lift  up 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  01 

their  little  children  to  allow  them  to  gaze  upon  it,  as 
I  have  seen  mothers  do  at  funerals  to  give  their 
little  ones  a  last  look  at  the  features  of  a  deceased 
friend.  The  care  with  which  every  thing  is  preserved 
that  belonged  to  the  Emperor,  the  rooms  in  the 
Louvre  and  other  Palaces  full  of  sacredly  preserved 
relics,  are  all  evidences  of  the  same  affection.  Every 
article  of  dress  that  he  wore,  every  table  that  he  wrote 
upon,  chair  that  he  sat  upon,  handkerchief  that  he 
wiped  his  face  withal,  every  sword  that  he  drew  in 
battle,  every  knife  and  fork  that  he  wielded  at  the 
table,  whatever  he  touched,  has  become  more  pre- 
cious than  gold  in  the  eyes  of  this  hero-worshipping 
people.  They  bare  their  heads  at  the  mention  of 
his  name,  they  recount  his  exploits  with  burning  en- 
thusiasm, little  incidents  of  his  private  life  they  re- 
late with  tears  in  their  eyes,  they  know  by  heart  the 
history  of  all  his  battles  and  the  minutest  event,  of 
his  career.  They  hate  the  English,  I  verily  believe, 
more  from  the  treatment  he  received  at  their  hands, 
than  from  the  many  centuries  of  hereditary  hostility 
between  the  two  nations. 


62  MR.  Duxx  Browne's 


CHAPTER   XV. 


WOMEX,    BABIES,    AND    DOGS. 


The  women  of  Paris,  generally  speaking,  are  not 
very  beautiful.  Their  naturally  dark  complexion  is 
not  improved  any  by  constant  exposure,  (they  wear 
nothing  on  their  heads  but  a  little  muslin  cap,)  and 
then  the  wear  and  tear  of  countenance,  resulting 
from  their  energetic  manner  of  talking,  materially 
aids  Father  Time  in  ploughing  furrows  in  their  cheek. 
But,  if  not  remarkable  for  beauty,  they  are  very  keen 
looking,  with  their  bright  black  eyes,  sharp  features 
and  quick  movements,  and  make  the  best  possible 
shopkeepers  and  accountants.  Even  in  the  eating- 
houses,  where  the  waiters  are  men,  and  in  the  shops 
whore  salesmen  of  the  masculine  gender  are  em- 
ployed, there  is  a  nice,  neat  little  woman,  with 
smooth,  dark  hair,  and  black  silk  dress,  nine  times 
out  of  ten  at  the  desk,  to  attend  to  the  money  mat- 
ters ;  and  I  give  you  leave  to  cheat  or  catch  one  in 
an  error  if  you  can. 


EXPERIENCES   IN  FOREIGN   TARTS.  63 

Passing  naturally  from  the  women  to  the  babies, 
these  are  the  funniest,  most  serious,  old  looking  little 
bits  of  well-behaved  humanity  that  it  is  possible  to 
conceive  of.  I  counted  more  than  forty,  with  their 
nurses,  the  other  afternoon,  down  on  the  Boulevard, 
at  a  sort  of  a  baby-show,  which  takes  place  every 
fine  day  in  front  of  the  Ca{6  de  Paris,  and  there 
wasn't  one  of  the  whole  score  who  didn't  deserve 
a  gold  medal  for  its  perfect  propriety  of  demeanor 
and  correct  general  deportment.  "  Cry  ?  "  They 
would  laugh  you  to  scorn  if  you  suggested  such  a 
thing.  You  might  as  well  expect  to  see  a  cry  started 
in  an  assembly  of  Indian  chiefs,  gathered  in  stately 
conclave  about  their  council  fire.  Gray  hairs  might 
have  learned  a  lesson  in  good  behavior  from  these 
tiny  things,  that  had  no  hair  at  all  to  speak  of,  at 
least  I  did  n't  see  any,  possibly  because  they  all  wore 
little  white  caps.  On  the  whole  it  was  a  very  edify- 
ing and  entertaining  spectacle,  especially  when  the 
refreshments  were  served.  They  have  four  or  five 
places  called  Crdches,  immense  reservoirs  of  babies, 
whicii  receive  in  the  morning  the  infantry  of  the  la- 
boring women  of  the  whole  district,  and  distribute 
them  again  at  night,  several  matrons  of  experience 
taking  charge  of  the  cradle  and  pap  department 
through  the  day.      I  don't  know  whether  this  is  ^ 


64  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

peculiar  institution  or  not,  but  it  strikes  me  as  a  good 
one,  and  especially  adapted  to  a  Republic,  as  it  ac- 
customs the  young  citizens  at  an  early  age  to  public 
assemblages  and  teaches  them  to  trust  to  their  own 
resources. 

From  babies,  which  are  a  species  of  quadruped,  it 
is  but  a  step  to  dogs,  and  I  am  constrained  to  say 
that  the  French  taste  as  displayed  in  this  direction, 
is  truly  deplorable.  Every  dog  in  the  city,  so  far  at 
least  as  my  observation  has  extended,  is  of  some 
miserable,  dirty  color  or  combination  of  colors,  with 
coarse  hair,  of  various  lengths,  having  no  shape  at 
all,  any  more  than  a  nightmare,  with  a  most  valla- 
nous  bark,  a  tail  without  any  wag  to  it,  and  a  moral 
character  worse  even  than  its  physical  traits.  And 
yet,  such  is  the  Frenchman's  love  foi*  this  vile  beast, 
that  no  strictness  of  police  regulations,  no  amount  of 
taxes,  nor  muzzles,  can  persuade  him  to  give  up  his 
dog.  Nay.,  even  his  love  increases  with  every  fresh 
act  of  persecution,  and  will  doubtless  continue  till  the 
last  dog  has  had  his  day  and  died.  The  tailors  and 
dressmakers  show  a  similar  depraved  taste  by  filling 
their  windows  with  horrid  little  monkeys,  dressed 
out  in  the  extreme  of  fashion,  with  velvets  and  laces 
and  flounces,  miraculous  cravats,  and  gorgeous  rib- 
bens,  fans,  canes,  and  opera  glasses,  till  they  really 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  65 

bear  a  frightful  resemblance  to  some  of  the  figures 
you  meet  in  the  streets,  and  arc  ashamed  to  acknowl- 
edge as  human,  like  yourself  and  your  humble  ser- 
vant, 

Dunn  Browne. 


66  MR.   DUNN   BROAVNE'S 


CHAPTER    XVI. 

"DEMANDS   HIS   PASSPORTS,"  NOT   BEING   INCITED   TO 
A    GREAT   PUBLIC   FESTIVAL. 

Have  spent  the  past  week,  this  last  week  of  my 
stay  in  the  city,  before  departing  to  the  depths  of 
Germany  to  den  up  for  the  winter,  amidst  the  meer- 
schaums and  the  gutturals,  in  finishing  up  a  variety 
of  promiscuous  and  miscellaneous  sight-seeing,  and 
in  getting  my  passport  vise  at  some  twenty  different 
legations  in  all  quarters  of  the  city.  This  last  pro- 
cess is  a  trifle  more  serious  than  one  would  be  likely, 
at  first,  to  imagine.  That  part  of  Europe  which  I 
am  about  to  visit  being  divided  into  a  series  of  king- 
doms, duchies,  principalities,  and  republics,  each 
about  the  size  of  a  good  Illinois  farm,  and  their 
agents  being  scattered  over  all  Paris,  and  changing 
their  residence  continually,  and  each  requiring  at 
least  two  visits,  one  to  find  out  the  two  hours  or  so 
in  a  day  during  which  the  office  is  open,  and  the 
other  to  get  your  business  attended  to  certainly  the 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.        67 

patriarch  of  Uz  is  the  only  man  on  record  who  would 
be  likely  to  find  this  a  pleasant  and  agreeable  duty. 
And  I  believe  that  even  Job,  when  he  found  that,  be- 
sides all  his  trouble,  he  must  sell  a  camel  or  two  to 
pay  fees  at  about  half  these  legations,  would  wish 
himself  back  again  among  the  Chaldeans.  Have 
just  returned  from  the  office  of  the  Prefect  of  the  po- 
lice, from  whom  I  have  obtained  permission  to  leave 
Paris,  after  informing  him  of  my  age,  residence,  pro- 
fession, destination,  time  of  departure,  and  route  by 
which  I  intend  to  go.  (I  did  not  mention  the  num- 
ber of  shirts  I  shall  carry,  nor  say  any  thing  abont  a 
large  paper  bag  of  sandwiches  just  prepared  for  re- 
freshment on  the  way.) 

By  some  unaccountable  mistake,  or  perhaps  by 
some  intentional  diplomatic  slight,  I  did  not  receive 
an  invitation  to  be  present  at  the  closing  of  the  Pal- 
ace of  Industry  on  Thursday,  and  so  was  obliged  to 
take  an  outside  ticket,  and  stand  an  hour  amongst  a 
crowd  of  people  who  were  all  taller  than  I,  waiting  to 
see  the  imperial  procession  pass  by.  Obtained  a  fine 
view,  however,  (under  the  arm  of  a  tall  coachman  in 
livery,)  of  the  emperor  and  empress,  as  they  rode 
slowly  and  smilingly  past  in  an  eight  horse  coach 
completely  covered  with  gold  and  diamonds  and 
spangled  footmen.     The  royal  couple  endured  their 


68  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

part  in  the  pageant  very  gracefully,  yet  looked  as  if 
they  fully  agreed  with  me  in  thi^nking  the  whole 
thing  a  decided  bore.  The  imperial  luminaries  hav- 
ing set,  (behind  the  doors  of  the  great  palace,)  your 
unworthy  correspondent  departed  from  that  vast 
concourse  of  the  living,  to  find  himself  soon  in  the 
midst  of  an  equally  numerous,  but  not  so  noisy, 
multitude  of  skeletons  of  the  dead,  at  the  immense 
anatomical  museum  of  the  School  of  Medicine,  a 
collection  of  wonderful  interest  and  beauty,  without 
any  thing  repulsive  or  shocking.  Not  so  the  Museum 
Dupuytren,  of  morbid,  diseased  anatomy,  which  I 
visited  next;  the  most  ghastly  and  horrible  place  1 
was  ever  in,  full  of  all  manner  of  monsters,  abortions, 
and  unsightly  malformations;  skeletons  twisted  into 
every  possible  species  of  deformity ;  all  the  members 
and  organs  of  the  human  system  exhibited  in  every 
stage  of  the  most  frightful  and  disgusting  diseases  ; 
loathsome  tumors,  cancers,  and  ulcers  which  seemed 
to  emit  offensive  odors  though  only  modelled  in  wax; 
in  short  an  abominable  collection,  fitted  to  give  one 
the  nightmare,  and  which  ought  never  to  be  seen  by 
anybody  in  a  world  of  hope  and  happiness.  (Re- 
marks to  the  same  effect  had  been  previously  made 
to  me,  and  were  my  chief  inducement  for  visiting  it.) 
Stepped   into  the  Morgue  on  the    way    home,  and 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  69 

saw  the  body  of  a  poor  drowned  man  stretched  out 
on  one  of  those  dismal  benches,  where  so  many 
thousands  of  friendless  wretches  have  taken  their 
turn  before  him,  waiting  for  some  chance  passer-by 
to  recoifnize  and  claim  the  remains  for  burial. 

Having  proceeded  so  far  in  ihi.s  line  of  sight- 
seeing, I  attempted  next  to  get  into  the  Catacombs, 
and  failing  of  that,  went  out  to  the  cemetery  of  P^re 
le  Chaise,  a  regular  city  of  the  dead,  with  narrow 
streets,  and  crowded  with  inhabitants.  I  never  could 
rest  comfortably,  I  am  certain,  with  my  mortal  re- 
mains confined  to  such  a  narrow  space,  and  packed 
in  among  such  a  miscellaneous  multitude.  Mount 
Auburn,  or  Greenwood,  or  the  cemetery  at  Spring- 
field, or  any  one  of  a  dozen  others  I  could  name, 
is  infinitely  more  beautiful,  yet  Pere  le  Chaise  is 
full  of  the  most  costly  and  splendid  monuments, 
and  hallowed  by  thousands  of  illustrious  names. 
The  tomb  of  Abelard  and  Heloise  is  the  oldest,  the 
grave  of  Marshal  Ney  the  most  interesting,  from  the 
fact  that  it  has  no  stone  and  no  record ;  a  little  iron- 
inclosed  plat  of  ground  planted  with  flowers,  and 
that  is  all.  The  common  people  are  packed  in  just 
as  closely  as  the  coffins  can  lie,  and  the  graves  are 
marked  with  simple  wooden  crosses,  which,  in  a  few 
years,  are  all  swept  away,  and  a  new  generation 
buried  on  the  same  ground. 


70  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER    XVII. 


WAITING   AT   THE   STATION. 


Having  rashly  entangled  himself  in  the  intricacies 
and  perplexities  of  a  French  railway  guide,  your 
unfortunate  friend  and  correspondent  finds  himself, 
in  consequence,  writing  this  present  epistle  in  the 
Paris  station,  instead  of  being  half  way  to  Brussels 
on  the  wings  of  steam.  Tumbled  out  of  bed  at 
six  o'clock  this  morning,  and  hurried  away  cofFeeless, 
through  the  cold,  drizzling  rain,  for  the  sake  of  an 
early  start,  and  now  find  that  our  train  leaves  at 
half  past  nine.  What  nuisances  railroads  are,  in- 
deed I  And  for  people  to  pretend  that  they  save 
time !  Let  them  come  and  stop  two  hours  in  this 
cold  depot,  that's  all,  pinned  down  here,  too,  as  I 
am  by  a  lot  of  baggage  which  can't  be  checked  till 
just  before  the  train  starts.  Ah!  my  dear  reader,  let 
me  warn  you  never  to  bring  any  thing  with  you  on  a 
foreign  voyage  but  a  single  change  of  linen,  and  a 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  71 

heart  possessed  of  iiatience.  The  amount  of  money 
and  mental  anxiety  that  two  carpet  bags  have  cost 
me  is  almost  incalculable.  There,  I  will  leave  the 
things  here,  while  I  go  to  yonder  restaurant  for 
coflce  and  a  '*bifteck,"  and  may  the  man  who  steals 
that  baggage  find  it  as  gi-eat  a  plague  as  its  present 
possessor  has  done,  is  the  worst  I  can  wish  him  I  *  * 
Those  stars  indicate,  not  the  suppression  of  any 
part  of  this  precious  epistle,  but  only  the  lapse  of 
time  necessary  to  fill  an  "aching  void"  in  a  region 
just  below  the  heart  of  the  writer  thereof;  and 
may  also  symbolize  the  brightness  of  the  pair  of 
glorious  black  eyes  which  would  doubtless  have 
made  an  impression  on  the  susceptible  heart  above 
mentioned,  had  not  the  face  to  which  they  belonged, 
been  slightly  dirty.  The  hair,  too,  of  the  gentle 
maiden  was  uncombed,  and  her  dress  decidedly 
dishwatery  in  its  general  effect,  besides  bearing  dark 
evidences  of  a  recent  visit  to  the  coal-hole ;  in  short, 
that  restaurant  demoiselle  had  not  expected  visitors 
to  breakfast  at  quite  so  early  an  hour ;  nevertheless, 
the  grace  of  a  true  French  woman  did  not  desert  her, 
and,  by  some  mysterious  process,  those  grease  stains 
and  coal-spots  grew  less  and  less  noticeable,  and 
finally  disappeared  altogether,  like  spots  on  the  sun 
when  you  throw  away  the  smoked  glass.    As  I  came 


72  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

out  of  the  room,  she  seemed  a  very  neatly  attired 
young  person  indeed. 

My  baggage,  unfortunately,  is  all  safe,  and  clings 
to  me  with  the  pertinacity  of  an  inveterate  bore, 
which,  in  truth,  it  is.  You  never  need  fear  having 
any  thing  stolen  in  Paris,  however.  They  know 
tricks  here  worth  a  dozen  of  that,  and  will  entice  the 
money  out  of  your  pocket  in  the  most  gentlemanly, 
courteous,  friendly,  and  truly  agreeable  manner,  with- 
out once  resorting  to  that  stupid,  obsolete  practice 
which  may  bring  them  into  unpleasant  relations 
with  the  police. 

Ah,  what  a  volume  of  sound  to  come  from  the 
throat  of  such  an  infinitesimal  of  a  boy!  Here, 
thou  very  linnet  of  a  gar(;on,  what  hast  thou  to  sell  ? 
The  "Journal  pour  Rire?"  Well,  let  us  see  what 
the  Parisians  have  been  laughing  at  this  week. 
"  Reserved  places  for  the  monster  instrumental  con- 
cert at  the  Palace  of  Industry."  And  where  do  you 
think  those  same  places  are  ?  Why,  out  around  the 
fountains  of  the  Place  de  la  Concorde,  about  a  half 
a  mile  distant.  And  next,  here  is  a  picture  of  a 
fat  butcher,  committing  suicide  by  falling  upon  his 
own  knife,  having  been  reduced  to  that  desperate 
act  by  reading  the  police  regulations  of  the  price 
of  meat.     "  An  ingenious  method  of  making  in  a 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  73 

few  minutes  a  pair  of  excellent  shoes,"  which  the 
picture  shows  us  is  done  by  cutting  off  the  tops  of 
a  pair  of  new  boots.  "  Fifty  years  hence,  the  man 
who  will  invent  stage-coaches  will  make  his  for- 
tune." This  little  hit  at  railways  is  very  consonant 
with  my  feelings,  at  the  present  time.  "  Fifty  years 
hence,  the  journals  will  record  this  interesting  dis- 
covery: 'It  has  just  been  ascertained  that  feathers 
from  the  wings  of  geese,  prepared  in  a  certain  m.an- 
iier,  form  a  delightful  substitute  for  those  abominable 
little  bits  of  pointed  iron  with  which  we  now  write. 
So  this  much  calumniated  animal  is  about  to  render 
us  a  new  service  by  delivering  us  for  ever  from  the 
nuisance  of  steel  pens.'"  And  here  is  a  column  of 
most  execrable  French  puns,  to  deliver  me  from 
which  there  goes,  in  good  time,  the  bell  for  our  train 
"long  looked  for,  come  at  last,"  and  just  ready  to  g-o 
with.  Yours  in  perils,  by  land  and  sea,  and  by  rail- 
road. 


74  MR.    DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER    XVIII. 

BRUSSELS,    (with   WATERLOO    OMITTED). 

I  HAVE  arrived  in  safety  at  the  end  of  ray  first  day's 
journey,  as,  indeed,'  could  not  well  have  happened 
othenA'ise,  for,  when  an  individual  is  once  ticketed 
and  labelled  for  any  place  by  a  French  railway,  it  is 
utterly  imposi?ible  for  him,  willing  or  unwilling,  to 
avoid  getting  there  at  the  precise  time  specified. 
He  is  so  watched  and  guarded  and  locked  in,  and 
constantly  looked  after,  that  no  matter  how  com- 
plicated may  be  the  route,  no  matter  how  many 
changes  of  cars,  he  is  not  allowed  to  stay  in,  or  get 
into,  the  wrong  place  for  a  single  instant,  he  cannot 
get  himself  left  behind  at  a  way  station  if  he  tries,  he 
cannot  lose  himself,  nor  commit  suicide  under  the 
\vheels,  nor  escape  his  destination  in  any  other  imag- 
inable way.  One  can  hardly  help,  under  such  ex- 
cessive care,  being  a  little  suspicious  of  a  prison  at 
the  other  end  of  his  route,  and  looks  down,  from 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  75 

time  to  time,  almost  involuntarily  to  see  if  his  panta- 
loons are  particolored. 

The  country  we  have  passed  through  is  rather 
uninteresting,  as  indeed  is  almost  any  country  in 
November,  full  of  forests  planted  in  regular  rows, 
women  working  in  the  beet  fields  just  like  the  men, 
ploughs  with  two  or  three  wheels  and  machinery 
enough  ■  for  a  locomotive,  moss-covered,  thatched 
houses,  and  clumsy  wind-mills.  Among  the  most 
remarkable  incidents  of  travel  to  day,  I  saw  a  man 
in  a  railway  station  eating  hard-boiled  eggs  shells 
and  all,  and  another  in  the  cars  making  his  break- 
fast of  a  piece  of  bread  and  a  cigar,  taking  alter- 
nately a  whiff  and  a  bite. 

I  was  greatly  interested,  as  we  stopped  a  few  min- 
utes in  an  old  French  town,  to  see  a  score  of  little 
girls  play  hide  and  seek  in  wooden  shoes  on  the 
stone  pavement.  The  way  the  little,  tiny  creatures 
stole  along  on  tiptoe  over  the  stones  in  their  awkward 
clogs,  about  as  silently  as  a  yoke  of  oxen  with  an 
empty  cart,  and  pretended  not  to  hear  one  another's 
echoing  steps,  and  went  spying  away  into  corners 
where  they  knew  there  was  n't  anybody,  and  passed 
resolutely  by  others  where  half  a  dozen  little  curly 
heads  were  peering  anxiously  out,  and  so  sacrificed 
themselves  and  suspended  the  use  of  several  of  their 


76  MB,   DUNN  BROWNE'S 

senses  for  the  good  of  the  game,  was  an  instance  of 
the  pursuit  of  fun  under  difficulties  such  as  one 
rarely  sees.  And  they  laughed  so  joyously  and  in 
such  good  English  that  it  was  quite  delightful ;  and 
I  could  have  found  it  in  my  heart  to  stop  and  take 
a  game  with  them,  if  our  watchful  guards  would 
have  allowed  me. 

In  a  bit  of  difficulty  I  fell  into  at  the  frontier, 
owing  to  the  custom-house  officers  not  understand- 
ing their  native  language  very  well,  a  handsome 
young  Dutchman  addressed  me  in  very  good  Eng- 
lish, helped  me  out  of  my  quandary,  and  has  been 
my  very  amusing  and  obliging  companion  ever  since. 
And  indeed  these  Flemish  people  are  altogether  the 
most  polite  and  kind,  and  agreeable  folks  I  have  yet 
seen,  though  they  do,  it  must  be  confessed,  drink  the 
most  unseemly  and  incredible  quantities  of  beer ; 
some  of  the  old  guzzlers  positively  swallowing  thirty 
'Or  forty  pints  in  a  single  evening.  The  great  room 
of  the  hotel  where  I  am  now  sitting,  (with  a  glass  of 
that  same  refreshing  liquid  standing  by  the  side  of 
my  inkstand,)  contains  nearly  a  hundred  people, 
every  one  drinking  beer,  and  talking —  let  us  see  — 
I  can  distinguish  French,  German,  Flemish,  and 
English,  at  least  four  different  languages.  The 
young  Dutchman  above  spoken  of  and  myself  have 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   TARTS.  77 

taken  a  stroll  round  the  town  since  our  arrival.  It 
is  an  exceedingly  weli-lniilt  city  with  a  delightful 
little  j)ark  full  of  noble  elms  and  oaks;  at  least  two- 
line  old  churches  containing  not  much  in  the  way  of 
pictures,  but  some  good  statues  and  very  curious  oak 
carving;  a  tolerable  palace;  an  arcade  decidedly 
more  magnificent  than  any  thing  of  the  kind  in  either 
Paris  or  London;  and  an  equestrian  statue  of  God- 
frey of  Bouillon  which  is  really  worth  a  voyage 
across  the  Atlantic  to  see.  The  noble  crusader  has 
just  that  air  of  mingled  valor  and  devotion  which 
befits  the  heroic  conqueror  of  Jerusalem,  who  refused 
to  wear  a  crown  of  gold  in  the  city  where  his  Re- 
deemer had  borne  a  crown  of  thorns. 


78  MR.  DUNN  BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER    XIX. 


COLOGNE. 


Succeeding  by  a  desperate  effort  in  getting  up  suf- 
ficiently early,  I  breakfasted  and  left  the  pleasant  cap- 
ital of  Belgium  before  62  o'clock,  A.  M.  Passed 
through  a  series  of  prettily  built  towns  and  some  of 
the  most  romantic  and  delightful  scenery  along 
towards  the  Prussian  frontier,  but  after  entering 
Prussia,-  a  rather  flat  and  dull  country  again,  and  at 
last,  after  enjoying  a  cold  ride  of  eight  hours  and 
meeting  no  obstructions  save  a  few  police  officers, 
we  reached  the  ancient  walled  town  of  Cologne, 
(name  in  good  odor  all  over  the  world,)  with  its  un- 
finished cathedral  and  "  no  end  "  of  guides.  I  never 
was  so  pestered  in  my  life.  Started  from  my  hotel 
to  visit  the  cathedral.  Several  beset  me  at  once  in 
three  different  languages  to  take  a  guide.  I  pointed 
to  the  stately  old  pile  in  plain  sight  before  us,  and 
politely  answered  them  in  the  same  number  of  Ian- 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN  PARTS.  79 

guages  that  I  didn't  want  any  guide  and  wouldn't 
have  one  if  he  would  pay  ine  for  the  privilege.     Th^'y 
polyglotically  persisted  in  assuring  me  that  I  never 
could  find  the  cathedral  alone,  and  followed  hard  af- 
tgr  me  a  street  or  two,  but  by  preserving  a  resolute 
silence,  I  at  length  shoo!;  them  off;  defeated  two 
more  detachments  of  the  enemy  on  my  way,  by  ask- 
ing them  if  they  spoke  Choctaw,  and  obstinately  re- 
fusing to  understand  any  other  language  whatever, 
and  so  at  last  came  along-side  the  object  of  my  search. 
Being  fairly  beaten  off  by  the  numbers  who  attacked 
me  at  the  side  door,  I  proceeded  round  to  the  front, 
and  made  up  my  mind  to  enter  at  all  hazards,  and 
enter  accordingly  I  did,  with  a  foe  attached  to  each 
coat-tail,  and  others  spread  out  behind  like  a  pea- 
cock's train.     Affairs  getting  thus  desperate,  I  turned 
about  just  inside  the  door,  facing  my  pursuers :  "  Gen- 
tlemen, I  do  not  desire  your  assistance  in  the  least. 
I  wish  to  look  at  this  old  church  a  few  moments  in 
peace  without  anybody  to  bore  me  with  the  precise 
height  of  all  the  arches  and  age  of  every  pillar,  and 
name  of  every  musty  old  archbishop  who  is  buried  in 
the  chapels.     I  will  never  pay  one  of  you  a  red  cent. 
Will  you  be  kind  enough  to  leave  me  alone  ?  "    This 
broadside  scattered  that  party,  but  the  conflict  had  to 
be  renewed  in  every  corner  of  the  edifice.     It  is  un- 


80  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

doubtedly  much  the  cheapest  way  to  hire  one  of 
these  pertinacious  individuals  just  to  scare  away  the 
others,  and  probably  by  the  payment  of  a  double  fee 
you  might  prevail  upon  hira  to  follow  you  in  silence, 
and  keep  his  superabundant  information  till  it  was 
called  for.  The  cathedral  itself,  apart  from  the 
guides  and  the  scaffoldings,  is  wonderfully  beautiful 
and  dreadfully  shabby,  so  old  that  it  is  crumbling  to 
pieces,  and  so  new  that  it  is  n't  yet  half  finished,  and 
probably  never  will  be  till  the  world  and  all  things 
therein  are  finished  together. 

Having  read  and  admired  the  great  "  poem  in 
vStone"  for  a  considerable  time,  I  proceeded  to  pay  my 
respects  to  the  "  11,000  virgins,"  who  have  left  their 
bones  piled  up  in  the  church  of  St.  Ursula  as  a  sort 
of  anatomical  museum  for  the  edification  of  the  faith- 
ful through  many  generations.  They  are  very  fantas- 
tically arranged,  arms  in  one  place,  ribs  in  another, 
etc. ;  the  skulls  mostly  under  glass  cases,  each  with 
its  own  pious  legend  and  little  embroidered  cap,  all 
very  pretty  and  affecting. 

In  the  evening  I  walked  over  the  Rhine  on  the  cu- 
rious bridge  of  boats,  also  circulated  promiscuously 
about  the  queer  old  city,  (which  is  more  like  Rouen 
than  any  place  I  have  seen,)  causing  the  greatest 
anxiety  on  the  part  of  my  good  landlord,  who  thought 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   TARTS.  81 

I  must  surely  be  deranged  to  rush  out  into  the 
crooked  streets  of  a  strange  town  where  I  could  n't 
speak  the  language  of  the  inhabitants.  I  told  him  it 
was  ridiculous  to  think  of  losing  a  Yankee  in  a  lit- 
tle city  of  one  hundred  thousand  inhabitants,  sur- 
rounded, too,  by  a  high  wall.  He  shook  his  head  and 
remarked  that  the  Americans  were  a  strange  people, 
and  I  noticed  a  look  of  great  relief  pass  over  his 
countenance  as  I  entered,  at  nine  o'clock,  safe  and 
sound.  The  most  noticeable  thing  about  the  inhab- 
itants of  Cologne  and  the  German  people  generally, 
is  their  intolerable  stupidity.  Coming  from  France, 
where  every  official  answers  your  questions  with  the 
utmost  readiness  and  precision,  I  had  neglected  pro- 
curing Bradshaw's  Continental  railroad  guide,  and 
could  not  in  all  Cologne  find  out  the  proper  route  to 
Gijttingen,  a  little  more  than  a  hundred  miles  distant, 
was  misdirected  at  last  at  the  ticket  office  of  the  road 
that  connects  directly  with  that  to  Gottingen,  sent 
twenty-five  miles  out  of  the  way,  and  compelled  to 
spend  two  days  in  getting  where  I  might  have  ar- 
rived in  eight  or  nine  hours.  In  short,  or  rather,  at 
length,  I  feel  on  arriving  at  this  place  that,  if  never 
before,  now  certainly,  I  have  acquired  a  full  and  per- 
fect right  to  subscribe  myself,  yours  truly, 

Dunn  Browne. 
6 


82  MR.   DUNN  BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER   XX. 

GERMAN   RAILWAYS   AND   FIRES. 

The  railway  is  certainly  one  of  the  best  ways  in 
which  to  study  the  character  of  a  people.  The  mu- 
sical tendencies  of  the  people  of  Belgium  and  Prus- 
sia appear  in  the  circumstance  that  the  conductor 
invariably  carries  a  bugle  to  announce  the  departure 
of  the  trains,  and  its  cheerful  "  Tra  ra  la  "  is  a  very 
pretty  improvement  on  the  groans  and  shrieks  with 
which  an  American  locomotive  suggests  to  the  pas- 
sengers the  propriety  of  getting  ready  for  a  start; 
those  ominous  sounds  which  seem  to  forewarn  the 
thoughtless  traveller  of  the  fate  that  very  probably 
awaits  him  at  the  next  bridge.  The  notes  of  the 
horn  have  the  further  advantage  of  enabling  the 
guard  to  convey  considerable  information  as  to  the 
size  and  importance  of  the  various  stopping  places. 
A  single,  short,  contemptuous  loot  of  the  trumpet 
announces  a  mere  hamlet,  not  worth  the  trouble  of 
looking  out  the  windows  at;  a  more  prolonged  note. 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.        83 

or  a  fragment  of  a  tune,  proclaims  a  place  of  consid- 
erable size  ;  and  a  fine,  large  city  calls  out  from  the 
gracious  official  all  his  skill  in  a  regular  little  instru- 
mental concert.  Once,  however,  happening  to  look 
back,  I  observed  quite  a  populous  city  at  a  station 
where  our  conductor  had  vouchsafed  but  a  single 
note.  Here,  no  doubt,  was  some  private  pique,  some 
personal  feud  with  the  inhabitants,  which  led  to  their 
being  thus  slandered  by  the  revengeful  bugle,  but 
taking  for  granted  an  honest  guard,  with  no  private 
animosity  to  gratify,  I  can  almost  promise  to  give 
you  the  precise  rilimber  of  inhabitants  along  the 
whole  route  without  once  looking  at  the  map,  with 
no  other  data  than  that  nicely  discriminating  bugle- 
horn. 

To  the  eastward  from  Cologne,  however,  the  music 
is  not  heard  on  the  railroads,  and  the  scream  of  the 
old  engine  sounds  out  again  hoarser  and  harsher  than 
ever.  An  ordinary  train  upon  one  of  these  German 
roads  is  about  the  most  leisurely  method  of  getting 
over  the  ground  that  I  have  ever  tried  except  walk- 
ing, and  I  did  make  a  calculation  one  day  whereby 
1  concluded  it  would  be  easy  to  gain  two  miles  an 
hour  by  going  on  foot,  but  that  was  before  I  knew 
the  difference  between  a  German  and  an  English 
mile,  so  those  figures  were  wasted.     The  train  stops 


84  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

at  every  station,  a  man  walks  quietly  along  its  whole 
length  and  unlocks  the  doors ;  the  guards,  engineers, 
etc.,  go  in  and  take  a  few  glasses  of  beer ;  by-and-by 
the  man  walks  along  again  slowly  and  locks  up  the 
doors ;  pretty  soon  a  large  bell  strikes,  then  the  loco- 
motive whistles,  then  a  little  bell  tolls  a  few  minutes, 
then  the  conductor  bids  the  smiling  bar-maid,  with 
whom  he  has  been  chatting,  good-by,  and  blows  his 
little  tin  whistle  ;  then  the  large  bell  strikes  again, 
the  engine  whistles  once  more,  and  very  soon,  if  no 
new  passengers  have  arrived  meanwhile,  makes  two 
or  three  false  motions  forward  and  backward,  and 
gets  gruntingly  under  way,  to  repeat  the  same  per- 
formance with  variations  at  the  next  town.  One 
consolation  under  this  mode  of  progression  is  that 
there  is  not  the  slightest  danger  of  accidents,  for 
even  if  two  trains  were  approaching  each  other,  the 
passengers  would  have  ample  time  to  get  out  before 
the  collision,  or  if  they  chose  to  abide  the  shock 
within,  would  probably  meet  with  no  more  serious 
injury  than  a  slight  disarrangement  of  curls  or  the 
downfall  of  a  hat. 

A  German  fire,  though,  is  a  decidedly  slower  op- 
eration than  even  the  railroad.  Fortunately  the 
houses  are  built  in  such  a  substantial  manner  that  it 
is  almost  impossible  to  burn  one,  and  a  fire  does  n't 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  85 

occur,  for  instance,  here  in  GJittingon,  once  in  five 
years,  I  am  told.  A  house  managed  to  get  kindled, 
however,  the  other  night,  and  the  ten  or  twelve  thou- 
sand inhabitants  of  the  place,  with  the  exception  of  a 
few  sick  and  infirm  people,  assembled  by  beatof  drum, 
and  sought  to  drown  the  fire  with  noise,  screaming 
themselves  hoarse,  ringing  the  bells  and  blowing 
trumpets.  Three  or  four  little  antiquated  engines 
which  had  long  since  fallen  into  their  second  child- 
hood, came  out  and  made  wheezy  efforts  to  throw 
water  upon  the  burning  roof,  but  could  n't  possibly 
play  higher  than  the  third  story  windows,  and  so, 
having  sprinkled  a  part  of  the  thick  stone  wall  with 
a  few  pails  of  water,  (which  was  brought  by  a  long 
line  of  men  in  buckets  and  poured  into  them,)  ceased 
their  efforts  and  left  the  fire  to  expire  of  itself,  after 
leisurely  burning  up  every  thing  combustible  within 
its  reach. 


86  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 


CHAPTER     XXI. 


A   UNIVERSITY   TOWN. 


GiJTTiXGEN  is  a  sort  of  German  "  Sleepy  Hollow," 
admirably  adapted  for  a  university  town,  for  one  is 
absolutely  driven  to  study  as  the  only  attainable 
amusement.  Nothing  can  be  more  primitive  and 
homely,  and  comfortable,  and  monotonous,  and  hon- 
est, than  the  entire  arrangement  of  things,  the  whole 
system  of  operations,  the  business,  manners,  and  cus- 
toms throughout  the  city.  Every  thing  here  was  fin- 
ished long,  long  ago,  and  has  become  gray  and  ven- 
erable, crumbling  and  moss-covered.  There  isn't  a 
sharp  corner  nor  a  fresh  bit  of  paint  anywhere  to  be 
seen  or  run  against.  The  houses  are  bowed  down 
with  years  at  various  angles  from  the  perpendicular, 
and  each  has  a  character  of  its  own,  worn  and 
wrinkled  into  its  expressive  old  features.  Not  a  sin- 
gle young  upstart  tenement  has  dared  to  rise  in  their 
midst  for  centuries,  and  carpenters  and  masons  are 
become  quite  an  obsolete  institution.    None  of  these 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  87 

houses  have  but  one  entrance,  a  pair  of  huge  doors, 
or  gates  rather,  through  which  come  and  go  car- 
riages, horses,  ladies  and  gentlemen,  loads  of  hay, 
children,  servants,  dogs,  cows,  and  pigs,  without  in- 
terfering with  each  otiier,  all  alike  eminently  respect- 
able and  well-behaved.  Any  kind  of  dress  which  is 
comfortable  is  in  the  fashion,  and  you  can  get  a  pair 
of  boots  made  large  enough  for  you.  An  old  watch- 
man perambulates  the  streets  through  the  night  sing- 
ing out  the  hour  in  a  monotonous,  sleep-inspiring 
tone,  together  with  various  pious  precepts  and  some 
sound  advice  in  regard  to  raking  out  fires  and  fas- 
tening up  doors,  which  have  thus  been  nightly  re- 
peated in  the  somnolent  ears  of  the  inhabitants  from 
time  immemorial,  and  without  which  doubtless  no 
Paterfamilias  could  rest  comfortably  between  his  two 
feather  beds.  A  German  bedstead  is  a  sort  of  coffin 
about  five  feet  long  and  two  wide,  into  which  a 
body  squeezes  himself  and  passes  the  night  com- 
pletely buried  in  feathers,  and  digs  himself  out  in 
the  morning  exhausted  and  sutibcated  by  the  un- 
wholesome covering,  unless  indeed  he  has  had 
sufficient  strength  to  kick  it  off  at  the  first  experi- 
ence of  its  stifling  effects.  I  never  endured  the 
thing  but  one  night,  during  which  I  dreamed  of  un- 
dergoing no  less  than  four  distinct  deaths,  one  by  an 
anaconda  necklace,  one  by  a  hempen  ditto,  one  by 


88  MR.    DUNN   BROWNE'S 

the  embrace  of  a  grizzly  bear,  and  a  fourth  in  the 
press  of  a  cider-mill.  A  German  coffin  on  the  other 
hand  is  a  large,  exceedingly  heavy  box  with  four 
stout  legs,  something  like  a  French  bedstead,  roofed 
over,  (the  roof  is  just  like  that  of  a  house,  the  two 
boards  which  compose  it  being  placed  at  an  angle 
with  one  another,)  and  is  hung  with  festoons  of 
flowers  and  ribbons.  The  funeral  services  are  very 
impressive ;  but  the  church  fees  and  funeral  expenses 
are  so  enormous  that  I  don't  see  how  any  but  a  few 
of  the  very  wealthiest  people  can  afford  to  die. 

There  are  some  ten  or  fifteen  Americans  now  con- 
nected with  the  Gottingen  University,  most  of  them 
studying  chemistry  under  the  celebrated  Wohler. 
Not  having  much  taste  for  the  natural  sciences,  and 
especially  considering  chemistry  as  an  unpleasantly 
smelling  branch  of  study,  I  have  confined  my  re- 
searches in  that  direction  to  attendance  upon  a  sin- 
gle lecture  of  Prof.  Wohler.  He  is  a  small,  thin, 
scholarly-looking  man,  with  prominent  features, 
sharp  eyes,  and  a  feeble  voice,  who  lectured  in  a  quiet, 
familiar  way,  without  any  ceremony,  talking  in  all 
directions,  sometimes  towards  the  heavens,  some- 
times against  the  blackboard  facing  the  class,  so 
that  they  had  to  catch  the  words  as  they  rebound- 
ed, very  frequently  into  the  neck  of  a  jar  or  bottle,- 
and  sometimes  pouring  a  sentence  or  two  into  a 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.        89 

drawer  he  chanced  to  open,  into  the  coal  hole  or 
up  the  chuTiney ;  so  that  on  the  whole,  I  did  not  un- 
derstand it  very  clearly,  that  part  which  was  to  be 
heard,  that  is,  that  part  which  was  to  be  seen  and 
smelled,  (as  the  subject  happened  to  be  the  various 
compounds  of  suljihur,)  was  very  easy  of  comprehen- 
sion, a  great  deal  clearer  in  fact  than  the  atmosphere 
of  the  lecture  room.  The  professor  is  in  delicate 
health,  looks  much  worn,  and  very  likely  will  not 
give  many  more  courses  of  lectures.  He  is  rather 
proud  of  his  American  students,  and  pays  them  a 
little  extra  attention.  They  are  a  fine  set  of  young 
fellows  who  have  made  my  stay  here  very  agreeable, 
and  to  whom  I  owe  many  thanks.  I  trust  each  one 
of  them  will  rise  to  the  head  of  his  profession  when 
he  returns  to  his  country. 

Of  the  German  students,  I  have  seen  very  little. 
They  are  a  rather  fine  looking  body  of  youngsters,  I 
thought,  as  they  passed  in  procession  at  the  funeral 
of  the  late  Professor  Fuchs,  and  study  probably  as 
hard  as  the  same  class  of  persons  in  other  countries, 
certainly  infinitely  better  than  American  boys  would 
if  left  to  themselves  without  any  daily  recitations  to 
attend.  It  seems  to  me  that  a  German  student's 
life  is  the  most  perfectly  independent  life  that  a  man 
can  live,  and  it  is  no  wonder  they  have  ever  been 
leaders  in  the  revolutions  of  Germany. 


90  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

The  scenery  in  this  vicinity  is  the  most  like  that 
of  New  England  of  any  which  I  have  yet  found,  and 
the  weather  also  is  real  New  England  weather,  cold, 
sharp,  and  bracing.  We  have  had  about  a  week's 
sleighing,  and  amusing  enough  is  it  to  see  the  way 
they  have  here  of  posting  a  man  on  a  little  project- 
ing seat  behind  the  sleigh,  for  nothing  else  but  to 
crack  the  whip.  He  is  not  the  driver  at  all,  but  has 
an  immense  supernumerary  whip  which  goes  off  con- 
tinually with  a  report  like  a  pistol.  Now  take  a 
dozen  two-horse  sleighs  with  such  an  accompani- 
ment behind,  and  the  horses  covered  with  great  bells 
and  going  at  full  speed,  and  you  can  get  a  little  idea 
of  a  grand  student  sleigh  ride  in  Gottingen. 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.        91 


CHAPTER   XXII. 

CHRISTMAS   AT  THE   "KRONE." 

To-night  is  Christmas  eve,  and  all  the  Americans 
are  invited  to  spend  it  with  Herr  Bettmann,  mine 
host  at  the  "  Krone,"  (name  ever  dear  to  the  Ameri- 
cans who  have  visited  Gottingen,)  where  is  to  be  a 
Christmas  tree  and  a  general  jollification.     We  are 

h  to  draw  tickets  in  a  lottery  of  knick-knacks  and  little 
trinkets.  We  are  to  see  the  annual  presents  which 
good  Father  Bettmann  bestows  upon  his  children 
and  domestics,  and  the  little  tokens  which  they  hang 
on  the  "  Tree  "  for  him  and  for  each  other.  We  are 
to  hear  beautiful  music  and  make  ourselves  agreea- 
ble to  the  Herr's  pretty  daughters  in  the  best  German 
we  can  muster,  as  well  as  listen  to  the  Herr's  gra- 
cious speech  in  Englisli  in  honor  of  his  American 

^  guests,  and  such  English !  I  fear  me  much  our  ut- 
most stretch  of  politeness  will  not  enable  us  to  un- 
derstand it  very  perfectly.  We  are  to  have  a  bit  of 
a  supper  and  see  the  color  of  our  Host's  best  wine, 


92  MR.  du:nn  Browne's 

and  find  out  perhaps  whether  the  real  juice  of  the 
grape,  without  any  drugs  or  dye-stuffs  in  it,  is  a 
proper  article  to  taste  or  not.  We  are,  in  short,  to 
get  a  little  glimpse  of  a  German  family  Christmas 
gathering,  to  have  a  quiet  pleasant  time  to-night ; 
and  then  to-morrow  your  humble  servant  leaves  for 
Vieima,  Trieste,  Alexandria,  and  the  Pyramids,  hop- 
ing to  return  by  way  of  Palestine  and  Greece. 
"What  do  you  think  of  that  for  a  bold  enterprise  for 
an  individual  with  less  than  two  hundred  and  fifty 
dollars  in  his  pocket?  I  think  the  expedition  of  Na- 
poleon into  those  same  regions  wasn't  a  circum- 
stance  in  comparison.  I  haven't  the  slightest  idea 
how  much  it  will  cost  to  get  from  anywhere  to  any- 
where, nor  how  many  camels  and  Bedouins  it  will 
be  necessary  to  buy,  but  I  have  already  travelled  so 
far  with  one  two  hundred  dollars,  that  I  consider  it 
a  sinful  distrust  of  Providence  to  doubt  my  ability 
to  get  considerably  further  with  another ;  and  then 
as  for  coming  back,  why,  whatever  goes  up  must 
come  down,  whatever  goes  east  must  naturally  come 
west  again,  along  with  the  sun,  moon,  and  the  star 
of  empire,  and  the  general  tendency  of  things,  all 
which  is  in  that  direction. 

I  have   studied  German   in  the   last  month  just 
enough  to   forget   my  French,  and  now  talk  a  jar- 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREION    PARTS.  93 

gon  hashed  up  from  tho  odds  and  ends  of  three 
diflerent  languages.  When  to  my  present  attain- 
ments are  added  a  smattering  of  Awibic,  Turkish, 
Syriac,  modern  Greek,  and  Italian,  I  shall  not  ex- 
pect to  be  understood  at  all,  unless  perchance  I 
should  visit  the  site  of  the  ancient  Tower  of  Babel. 
I  have  greatly  enjoyed  studying  German.  My 
teachers  have  been  two  bright  boys  of  seventeen 
who  are  learning  English,  and  the  way  we  have  mu- 
tually slaughtered  the  two  poor  languages,  has  been 
amusing  enough.  They  couldn't  pronounce  my 
"  th  "  and  I  could  n't  pronounce  their  "  ch."  I  have 
stumbled  over  their  "  g's,"  and  they  have  tripped 
against  our  "  w's,"  and  we  have  corrected  each  other's 
mistakes,  read,  talked,  and  disputed  with  one  another, 
and  been  of  the  greatest  mutual  advantage.  It  is 
the  very  best  way  of  acquiring  a  language  in  my 
opinion,  besides  being  the  cheapest,  as  you  pay  the 
teacher  in  his  own  coin.  The  German,  although 
much  harder  to  learn,  is  much  easier  to  hear  than  the 
French,  but  both  are  six  times  as  difficult  to  learn 
as  the  English,  because  they  insist  on  attaching  an 
arbitrary  gender  to  all  inanimate  objects  instead  of 
leaving  them  neuter  as  God  made  them,  and  as  the 
English  language  wisely  altevvs  them  to  remain. 
What  reason  is  there,  for  instance,  why  "spoon" 


94  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

should  be  masculine  and  "fork"  feminine?  And 
yet  to  talk  German  you  must  remember  it,  reason 
or  no  reason.*  I  will  not  enter  just  now,  however, 
into  a  philological  dissertation.  May  something 
happen  before  I  write  again. 


EXPERIENCES   IN  FOREIGN   PARTS.  95 


CHAPTER    XXIII. 


STARTS    FOR   THE   ORIENT. 


There  is  no  country  life  in  Germany,  as  in  our 
own  beautiful  New  England.  Everybody  lives 
crowded  together  in  cities  and  city-like  villages. 
You  will  travel  for  miles  through  a  beautiful  region, 
over  hills  and  dales,  where  you  expect  every  mo- 
ment to  see  the  pretty  country  residences  and  farm- 
houses and  cottages,  and  find  not  a  habitation  till 
you  come  down  into  a  little  dirty  low  village,  with 
the  houses  joining  one  another  like  a  city,  and  the 
gutters  in  the  middle  of  the  narrow,  roughly-paved 
streets,  and  the  dogs,  pigs,  and  still  dirtier  women 
and  children  occupying  the  gutters,  streets,  and 
houses  all  in  common,  promiscuously  grunting, 
squealing,  jabbering,  crying,  and  barking  in  villa- 
nous  Low  German.  I  have  never  seen  any  thing 
more  disgusting  than  three  or  four  of  these  filthy 
hamlets,  which  we  passed  through  in  getting  from 
Gottingen  to  Cassel  by  post. 


96  MR.   DUNI^   BIlO^YNE'S 

The  German  post-wagon  or  mail-coach  is  a  huge, 
lumbering,  inconvenient  contrivance,  at  least  four 
times  as  heavy  as  an  American  one,  carrying  two 
coachmen  and  having  accommodations  for  only 
four  or  six  passengers,  which  makes  the  expense 
needlessly  great.  We  were  seveti  hours  with  four 
sets  of  horses  (four  each)  in  making  that  distance 
of  seven  or  eight  German  miles,  or  about  thirty 
English  miles,  over  a  most  excellent  road,  too,  but 
these  stupid  people  can't  be  persuaded  to  make 
any  change  in  the  good  old  ways  handed  down 
from  former  generations.  It  is  very  hard  for  a 
Yankee  to  have  any  patience  with  this  kind  of 
travelling,  especially  in  the  winter,  but  the  natives 
wrap  themselves  up  in  two  overcoats  and  a  vast 
fur  cloak,  put  their  feet  into  a  monstrous  fur  bag, 
lay  in  a  large  stock  of  sausages  and  other  favorite 
provisions,  a  couple  of  bottles  of  \yine  and  one  of 
brandy,  bring  along  a  meerschaum,  a  bundle  of 
cigars,  and  a  box  of  matches,  shut  up  all  the  win- 
dows closely,  and  in  this  atmosphere  of  comfort 
and  smoke  care  not  for  the  length  of  the  journey. 

Cassel  is  no  doubt  a  delightful  city-  in  summer, 
with  its  mountain  and  beautiful  parks,  but  in  winter 
has  nothing  of  especial  interest  except  a  fine  statue 
of  that  one  of  its  sovereigns  who  sold  his  subjects  to 


EXPEKIEXCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  07 

England  for  tho  Amorioan  war,  and  an  irnmonso  un- 
finished palace,  which  was  built  with  Ihe  money 
thus  obtained.  Some  five  millions  of  dollars  were 
expended  in  raising  the  walls  aljout  ten  feet  high, 
and  then  the  work  was  abandoned,  awd  remains  a 
monument  of  princely  folly.  So  perish  all  the  treas- 
ures thus  acquired  I  The  present  ruler  is  a  very  in- 
ferior-looking personage  who  has  a  rather  pretty  wife, 
and  rides  in  a  carriage  drawn  by  the  two  finest 
black  horses  I  have  seen. 

The  next  place  of  interest  on  the  route  to  Dresden 
is  the  castle  of  Wartburg,  where  Luther  was  im- 
prisoned in  the  house  of  his  friends.  It  crowns  the 
summit  of  a  mountain  hard  by  the  little  town  of 
Eisenach,  and  commands  a  most  magnificent  pros- 
pect in  all  directions.  The  interior  of  the  castle 
has  nothing  remarkable  in  its  appearance,  and  the 
armor  and  other  curiosities  there  preserved,  hardly 
pay  for  the  trouble  of  seeing,  so  the  whole  interest 
of  the  place  centres  in  the  Luther's  chamber.  I  of 
course  inscribed  my  name  amidst  the  ten  thousand 
that  are  written  under  and  around  the  ink-spot  on 
the  wall  that  marks  the  place  where  the  Devil  had 
such  a  narrow  escape  from  becoming  a  shade  blacker 
than  his  natural  color.  The  spot  remains  quite  dis- 
tinct and  fresh,  and  has,  I  have  no  doubt,  a  new  ink- 

7 


98  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

bottle  thrown  at  it  every  year  for  preservation.  The 
room  is  not  in  the  castle  itself,  but  in  an  adjoining 
building  now  used  as  a  beer  saloon,  and  infested  by 
all  the  roisterers  of  the  neighborhood ;  at  least  on 
the  day  I  visited  it,  there  were  collected  at  least  a 
hundred,  drinking  and  smoking  and  singing  at  a  rate 
which  would  have  seriously  disturbed  the  great  re- 
former's meditations  if  he  were  still  a  resident  of 
his  "  Patmos."  I  had  barely  time  to  examine  the 
relics  and  furniture  of  the  apartment,  and  sit  a  few 
moments  on  the  whale's  vertebra,  which  was  used 
by  Luther  as  a  footstool,  take  another  last  glimpse 
at  the  grand  and  varied  scenery,  and  slip  down  the 
icy  mountain  in  time  for  the  train  to  Erfurt,  where  I 
have  just  arrived,  at  nine  o'clock  Wednesday  evening, 
December  26,  1855. 


EXPERIENCES   IN  FOREIGN   PARTS.  99 


CHAPTER    XXIV. 

ERFURT   TO    DRESDEN.      . 

Made  an  exploration  of  this  fortified  Prussian 
city  from  nine  to  eleven,  P.  M.,  wandering  about 
alone,  as  usual,  gathering  information  from  all  the 
people  I  fell  in  with,  meeting  with  a  variety  of  little 
amusing  adventures,  and  getting  p.  magnificent 
moonlight  view  of  the  odd  old  two-storied  cathedral, 
which  is  a  rather  stupid  building  by  daylight  I  am 
told,  but  was  perfectly  enchanting  and  poetical  by 
Luna's  gentle  beams.  Forgot  the  name  of  my 
hotel,  and  lost  my  points  of  compass  a  little  in 
wandering  around  and  under  and  over  the  cathedral, 
so  that  I  began  to  think  it  would  be  necessary  to 
seek  other  quarters  for  the  night,  but  rambling  along 
with  a  young  soldier  who  was  just  off  duty  as  sen- 
tinel, and  was  .much  interested  in  talking  about 
America,  we  came  to  a  house  which  looked  a  little 
natural,  and  going  in  found  it  was  all  right,  so  the 


100  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

young  sentinel  bade  me  a  very  affectionate  farewell, 
and  I  soon  retired  to  the  everlasting  two  feather- 
beds,  but  succeeded  at  last  in  making  arrangements 
with  the  chambermaid  for  the  removal  of  the  upper 
one.  She  imjiarted  to  me  several  items  of  interest- 
ing information,  one  of  which  was,  that  there  are 
no  other  beds  in  Germany  than  these  little  narrow 
ones,  and  so  husband  and  wife  have  two  ranged  side 
by  side,  and  she  evidently  considered  the  American 
custom  rather  improper. 

Early  in  the  morning  after  effecting  an  entrance 
almost  by  violence  into  the  old  monastery,  where 
Luther  first  found  the  Bible,  (which  building  is  now 
occupied  as  an  orphan  asylum,)  I  spent  a  few  mo- 
ments in  his  little  cell,  which  contains  most  of  his 
furniture  and  even  his  venerable  inkstand,  (not  the 
same  one  probably  which  was  used  as  a  projectile  at 
Wartburg,)  whereinto  I  also  dipped  my  pen,  and 
without  breaking  off  from  the  train  of  reflections 
inspired  by  such  a  visit,  succeeded  in  getting  on  to 
the  train  for  Leipsic,  having  enjoyed  my  little  hur- 
ried moonlight  glimpse  of  Erfurt  as  well  perhaps  as 
if  time  had  permitted  a  week's  visit.  Stopped  a 
half  hour  at  the  dull  old  university  town  of  Halle, 
and  spent  the  afternoon  in  busy,  bustling  Leipsic; 
busy  at  least  now,  in  the  time  of  the  great  Christ- 


EXPERIEXCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  101 

mas  fair;  the  streets  crowded  with  booths  and 
thronged  with  buyers  and  sellers  from  all  Germany, 
and  the  rest  of  the  world  too,  if  one  were  to  judge 
by  the  variety  of  costumes  presented  to  the  eye. 
The  most  curioits  was  that  of  the  peasant  girls,  clad 
in  long  black  stockings  with  red  garters  at  the  knee, 
a  coarse  blue  or  green  petticoat  reaching  down  to 
the  same  point,  so  close  as  hardly  to  allow  any 
movement  of  the  limbs,  and  a  loose  tunic  of  some 
gay  color  fastened  with  a  knotted  girdle  at  the  waist. 
Not  wishing  to  be  a  mere  idle  spectator  of  the 
busy  scene,  and  noticing  that  leather  seemed  to  be 
the  leading  article  in  the  market,  your  humble  ser- 
vant proceeded  to  examine  a  whole  street  full  of  sole 
leather,  assisted  by  the  anxious  sellers  of  the  same, 
setting  down  a  variety  of  prices  and  qualities  on  a 
bit  of  paper,  with  a  view  to  very  extensive  pur- 
chases, but  before  bringing  any  negotiation  actually 
to  a  crisis,  became  weary  of  business  and  tired  of 
the  smell  of  leather,  so  ceasing  the  scrutiny  of  a 
merchant  and  assuming  the  more  careless  air  of  a 
mere  observer,  passed  through  the  city  in  two  or 
three  directions,  walked  around  the  Boulevards, 
(which  are  very  fine,  planted  with  noble  trees) ; 
reconnoitred  the  castle  of  Pleissenburg  with  an  in- 
tensely military  look;   conversed  a  few  minutes  ill' 


102  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

reference  to  its  strength  with  a  very  erect  officer  with 
mustachios  actually  at  least  five  inches  in  length ; 
took  a  glass  of  wine  with  the  same  fiercely  polite 
individual  in  the  famous  "  Auerbach's  cellar,"  where 
Goethe  has  laid  one  of  the  most  striking  scenes  of 
his  "  Faust,"  (every  one  will  recollect  the  German 
students'  drinking  scene,  where  Mephistophiles  draws 
all  sorts  of  liquors  out  of  a  hole  in  the  table,) 
and  hurried  away  to  Dresden,  the  splendid  capital 
of  rich  Saxony ;  at  which  place  we  arrived  too  late 
for  ray  usual  evening  exploration  of  the  city,  and 
T  could  only  contrive  one  little  adventure  by  losing 
my  way  to  the  hotel  to  which  I  had  been  recom- 
mended, and  accepting  the  guidance  of  a  little  curly- 
headed  boy,  who  took  me  very  naturally  to  an  inn 
kept  by  his  own  father,  which  although  perhaps 
not  remarkably  elegant  in  its  accommodations,  has 
at  least  the  merit  of  being  cheap  enoug-Ji,  (five 
groschen,  or  twelve  and  a  half  cents,  for  lodgings). 
The  kind  old  lady,  my  hostess,  has  a  son  in  America, 
(Rio  Janeiro  to  be  sure,  but  she,  good  old  soul, 
doesn't  know  but  that  Brazil  and  Massachusetts 
are  adjoining  states  or  different  names  for  the  same,) 
and  so  fixes  up  for  my  meals  all  sorts  of  German 
luxuries  and  delicacies,  (I  have  tasted  five  different 
kinds  of  sausages  yesterday  and  to-day). 


EXrERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  103 


CHAPTER   XXV 


DRESDEN,   THE   SPLENDID. 


I  HAVE  seen  Raphael's  famous  "  Madonna  di  San 
Sisto,"  and,  unlike  most  famous  and  celebrated  things, 
it  surpasses  all  one's  expectations.  The  face  of  the 
Virgin  is  the  most  lovely,  pure,  and  holy  countenance 
I  ever  gazed  upon,  or  ever  dreamed  of,  or  ever  pic- 
tured to  my  fancy.  It  is  a  perfect  ideal  of  female 
beauty  and  heavenly  virtue.  And  it  is  praise  enough 
to  say  of  the  other  figures  of  the  picture,  that  they 
are  worthy  of  a  place  beside  that  loveliest  creation  of 
earthly  artist.  The  sweetness  and  innocence  of  the 
Divine  Child,  and  in  the  lower  part  of  the  painting 
the  noble  features  of  the  pious  old  man  (San  Sisto) 
in  contrast  with  the  youthful  countenance  of  Santa 
Barbara,  both  upturned  in  rapt  adoration,  as  also  the 
two  lovely  cherubs  who  look  admiringly  up  fiom  be- 
neath, are  all  in  harmony,  and  form  one  simple,  uni- 
ted whole,  which  produces  an  effect  all  gentle  and 
soothing,    elevating,    devotional.     Even    the    little, 


104  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

chiibby-faced,  blue  angels  which  form  the  sky  in  the 
background,  and  which  are  an  intolerable  nuisance 
in  most  pictures  of  the  kind,  are  so  faintly  portrayed 
and  the  coloring  is  so  admirable,  that  they  add  to, 
rather  than  detract  from,  the  general  eifect.  After 
sti'olling  through  the  whole  Dresden  gallery,  I  sat 
half  an  hour  in  communion  with  this  glorious  paint- 
ing, (which  deservedly  has  a  whole  apartment  to 
itself,)  and  again  just  before  leaving  for  Prague,  went 
in  to  take  a  farewell  look ;  and  it  was  like  parting 
with  a  dear  friend  whose  memory  will  ever  abide  with 
me,  sweet  and  precious  while  I  live,  and  such  faces 
hope  I  to  see  in  Heaven  when  I  die. 

There  are  plenty  more  fine  paintings  in  this  gal- 
lery, but  the  most  noted  one,  "  La  Notte  "  of  Correg- 
gio,  does  n't  at  all  suit  the  taste  of  the  writer  hereof, 
quite  the  contrary;  in  fact  it  is  decidedly  ugly. 
Every  thing  about  it  appears  strained  and  unnatural, 
full  of  affectation  and  striving  after  effect.  It  may, 
no  doubt,  be  decidedly  original,  but  many  original 
things  besides  original  sin  are  not  beautiful.  There 
is  a  beautiful  "  Mary  Magdalen "  by  Correggio 
though,,  that  one  does  n't  need  to  be  an  artist  to 
admire.  Here  are  also  Guido's  "  Christ  crowned 
with  thorns,"  of  which  everybody  has  seen  a  copy, 
and  the  celebrated  "  Tribute  money  "  of  Titian,  and 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  105 

several  fine  modern  paintings,  one  of  which  espe- 
cially, I  greally  admired,  representing  Napoleon  in  his 
imperial  robes,  by  Gerard.  On  ihe  whole,  the  Dres- 
den  gallery  is  an  exceedingly  satisfactory  one  to  visit, 
admirably  arranged  in  a  noble  new  building,  and  not 
huge  and  endless  like  the  Louvre  to  weary  one  by 
its  vaetness. 

The  city  of  Dresden,  too,  is  worthy  of  its  reputa- 
tion, adorned  with  magnificent  buildings,  having  an 
unrivalled  terrace  along  the  bank  of  the  Elbe,  two 
costly  stone  bridges,  any  number  of  palaces  and  col- 
lections of  antiquities  and  the  fine  arts,  beautiful 
parks,  one  of  the  finest  theatres  in  the  world,  and  two 
remarkable  churches,  one  of  which,  the  Frauenkirche, 
or  church  of  the  women,  (why  so  called,  I  have  n't 
any  idea ;  to  be  sure,  only  women  go  there  usually, 
but  that  is  true  also  of  all  the  German  churches,) 
deserves  a  whole  letter  of  description  to  itself.  It  is 
of  wonderful  solidity,  and  has  a  lofty  dome.  The 
central  portion  of  the  edifice  is  a  perfect  circle,  in 
whose  circumference  are  eight  massive  pillars,  which 
divide  the  outer  portion  into  as  many  separate  com- 
partments, each  of  which  —  save  one  for  the  altar  — 
has  five  stories  of  galleries,  and  all  have  separate 
entrances  and  winding  stone  staircases  built  in  the 
wall ;  and  then  these  galleries  have  such  complicated 


106  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

internal  arrangements,  such  varieties  of  seats  and 
pews  and  boxes  closed  up  like  rooms  with  win- 
dows in  front,  such  unexpected  nooks  and  corners 
and  hiding-places,  that  I  felt  it  quite  a  mercy  to  get 
out  of  the  labyrinth  in  safety.  It  is  possible  to  see 
and  hear  the  preacher  only  in  a  few  of  the  most  prom- 
inent parts  of  the  building,  which  is  more  of  a.thea- 
tre  than  a  church,  and  more  of  a  beehive  than  a  the- 
atre, but  not  much  like  any  thing  in  the  world  save 
itself,  and  needs  to  be  seen  to  be  appreciated. 

Dresden  is  the  first  place  where  women  have  been 
in  attendance  to  carry  baggage  from  the  station  to 
the  hotel.  Here  they  do  every  thing.  I  saw  three 
dogs  and  two  women  drawing  a  load  of  bricks  not 
an  hour  ago,  and  a  woman  with  an  enormous  basket 
of  wood  on  her  back  leading  a  donkey  with  just 
about  the  same  quantity  on  his  back  in  panniers. 
Ah,  in  no  country  in  the  world  are  the  women  held 
in  such  consideration  as  in  America,  and  tio  other 
country  either  has  such  women  to  care  for.  Thank 
God  I  am  the  son  and  the  brother,  and  would  that 
I  could  add  also  the  husband,  of  an  American 
woman.  With  which  outburst  of  patriotic  gallantry 
I  think  I  may  safely  close  this  chapter. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN  PARTS.  107 


CHAPTER   XXVI. 

PRAGUE,   THE   HOMELY. 

Through  Saxon  Switzerland,  along  the  banks  of 
the  Elbe  to  Bodenbach,  the  Austrian  frontier,  is  a 
most  romantic  country,  a  virgin  earth  that  has  never 
been  defiled  by  the  plough,  an  uncivilized  region  that 
has  defied  the  weapons  of  man  and  retained  its  prim- 
itive independence.  Rough  cliffs  rise  up  abruptly 
from  the  river,  some  one  hundred,  some  three  hun- 
dred, and  some  a  thousand  feet,  full  of  chasms  and 
abysses,  dark,  grim,  and  frowning,  yet  many  of  them 
wearing  a  glittering  crown  of  snow,  and  covered 
down  their  sides  with  a  green  mantle  of  firs,  wher- 
ever a  tree  or  a  bush  can  catch  hold,  or  be  tied  on,  or 
driven  in.  Here  you  see  how  an  old  moss-covered 
house  has  climbed  up  in  its  youth  to  a  dizzy  height, 
and  fearing  to  descend,  has  remained  seated  on  a  pro- 
jecting ledge,  and  grown  old  and  shaky  and  venerable ; 
there  you  see  a  stone  bridge  by  some  magic  thrown 
across  a  frightful  ravine  hundreds  of  feet  in  depth, 


108  MR.  DUNN  BROWNE'S 

and  yonder  a  little  village  squeezed  into  a  crevice  or 
fastened  with  mortar  on  to  the  steep  monntain-side. 
Believe  me,  the  winter  is  the  time  to  travel  through 
a  wild,  mountainous  region.  I  have  lost  much  I  fear 
by  deferring  my  visit  to  Switzerland  till  the  approach- 
ing summer.  The  white  snow,  the  green  forests  and 
the  black  cliffs,  uniting  in  a  thousand  combinations, 
form  such  striking  pictures,  changing  continually 
before  our  eyes,  (an  occasional  tunnel  answering  for 
a  curtain  during  the  shifting  of  the  scenes,)  and  pre- 
sent such  a  succession  of  glorious  landscapes,  that  I 
feel  exceedingly  thankful  that  I  am  not  an  artist,  lest 
I  too  should  be  tempted  to  put  on  canvas  some  of 
those  caricatures  of  the  face  of  nature  which  I  have 
seen  shamelessly  paraded  in  the  galleries,  and 
admired  and  bepraised  by  those  who  pass  with  per- 
fect indifference  through  the  most  magnificent  natu- 
ral scenery.  Pictures  of  men  and  women  and  horses 
and  animals  and  battles  are  all  well  enough  in  their 
way,  but  show  me  the  man  who  can  paint  a  tree  as 
it  ought  to  be  painted  not  to  be  a  mockery  of  that 
beautiful  work  of  God,  a  single  tree,  or  even  but  one 
branch,  and  it  will  be  what  I  have  not  yet  seen  in 
any  collection  of  landscapes. 

At  the  delightful  little  town  of  Bodenbach,  with 
its  great  castle,  gi'aceful  suspension  bridge,  its  two 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.       109 

railway  tunnels  in  solid  rock,  aiicl  above  all,  its  curi- 
ous houses  with  cunning  little  curved  windows  pre- 
cisely like  eyes  peeping  out  of  the  roof,  first  appears 
the  gray  Austrian  uniform,  and  thenceforward  polite 
police  officers  hover  ever  about  us  and  examine  our 
passports  just  about  as  often  as  the  conductor  does 
our  tickets.  Everybody  and  every  thing  assumes  a 
kind  of  auhdiicd,  g-overned  aspect;  even  nature  lier- 
self  seems  here  at  last  to  surrender  to  the  arbitrary 
power  of  man.  The  j^-oud  craggy  mountains  hum- 
ble themselves  into  docile  submissive  hills,  and  allow 
their  sleek  sides  to  be  curried  into  fertility  by  the  har- 
row and  the  plough  ;  the  free  monarchs  of  the  forest 
cower  down  into  the  tamest  of  fruit-trees  ;  all  nature 
fairly  "flats  out"  into  a  big  orchard,  and  presents 
such  an  aspect  of  cowardly  servility  that  it  is  quite 
a  comfort  that  night  approaches  to  throw  a  veil  of 
darkness  over  the  degenerate  scene.  .  .  .  Three 
hours  refreshing  sleep  by  the  side  of  a  plump 
Austrian  dame,  (don't  be  shocked,  my  dear  friends, 
remember  it  was  in  a  railway  car,)  and  we  are  in 
Prague,  another  of  those  dear  old  towns,  like  Rouen 
and  Cologne,  which  are  not  handsome  nor  well  built, 
but  are  more  interesting  than  twenty  fine  cities,  if  one 
will  but  ramble  about  in  its  nooks  and  corners  to 
search  out  its  curious  sights. 


110  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

After  a  hasty  supper  I  sailed  forth  for  a  stroll, 
and  it  was  like  plunging  into  a  bath  of  darkness. 
The  lights  are  few  and  far  between,  and  the  whole 
city  is  full  of  tunnels  and  arches.  You  cannot  get 
from  one  street  into  another,  or  on  to  a  bridge  or 
into  a  house  even  without  creeping  under  a  low 
arched  passage,  most  curious  architecture  every- 
where I  assure  you.  Did  n't  see  very  much  in 
such  a  state  of  things,  but  talked  an  immense 
quantity  of  rather  indifferent  German  with  various 
victims  who  fell  into  my  society  on  the  way.  One 
young  musician  wished  to  know  what  his  prospects 
would  be  in  America,  and  took  out  his  flute  to  show 
me  in  the  middle  of  a  long  bridge  where  it  was  so 
dark  I  could  not  teU  it  from  a  pistol.  Considering 
that  a  not  very  sharp  action,  I  advised  him  not  to 
go  to  America,  saying  that  the  Yankees  were  not 
very  fond  of  any  music  but  that  of  the  hard  dollars 
ringing  on  the  counter.  Conversed  with  several 
soldiers  also,  who  were  greatly  shocked  to  hear  of 
the  smallness  of  our  army  in  the  United  States,  and 
wondered  how  order  could  be  preserved,  property 
protected,  etc.  But  I  will  not  bore  you  with  a  de- 
tail of  all  the  little  adventures  of  an  evening  in 
Prague,  which  would  not  probably  be  so  amusing 
told  in  the  day  as  they  were  acted  in  the  dark  among 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.       Ill 

total  strangers,  speaking  a  foreign  language.  Suffice 
it  to  inform  you  of  the  safe  arrival,  before  eleven 
o'clock,  at  his  hotel,  without  a  guide,  of  your  humble 
traveller  and  servant. 


113  AIR.    DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER   XXVII. 

A   DOOR   OPENS,   AND    SHUTS   AGAIN. 

First  I  wish  you  a  happy  New- Year  jnst  as  the 
clock  has  finished  striking  twelve,  Tuesday  morn- 
ing, January  1,  1856,  in  the  coffee-room  of  a  rail- 
way station  at  Briinn,  some  sixty  miles  or  so  from 
Vienna,  where  we  stop  two  or  three  hours  in  the 
middle  of  the  night  and  improve  the  time  in  eat- 
ing beefsteaks  and  drinking  coffee,  to  which  delight- 
ful employment  I  now^  turn,  devoting  the  first  hour 
of  the  new  year  to  recruiting  the  system  from  the 

fatigues  of  the  last  ten  hours  of  the  old  year 

There  are  about  a  dozen  soldiers  and  as  many  fur- 
coated  travellers  lounging  about  the  room,  eating, 
smoking,  and  drinking  beer,  several  pleasant  ladies 
with  immense  muffs,  several  poor  women  with  big 
bundles,  and  the  usual  number  of  railway  officials. 
They  are  all  exceedingly  curious  in  regard  to  the 
"  Americaner,"  ask  me  innumerable  questions,  re- 
peat my  answers  to  one  another  and  talk  about  me 


EXPERIEXCES    IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  113 

as  freely  as  if  I  could  n't  understand  a  word  thoy 
say,  and  now  that  I  unscrew  my  little  inkstand  and 
sit  down  to  write,  they  gaze  at  me  with  great  atten- 
tion as  if  I  were  a  sort  of  learned  pig,  and  it  was 
quite  a  treat  to  see  that  1  knew  how  to  use  a  j^en. 
It  is  a  little  uncomfortable  for  so  modest  an  individ- 
ual as  myself  to  be  the  subject  of  such  extreme 
curiosity,  but  travellers  soon  get  over  the  weakness 
of  blushing.  A  grave  old  gentleman  in  gray  hair 
and  gray  fur  coat  has  just  been  warning  me  very 
impressively  not  to  gamble  when  I  get  to  Vienna, 
and  I  have  at  last  satisfied  him,  I  think,  that  my 
weakness  doesn't  lie  in  that  particular  direction.  A 
little  black-eyed  Bohemian  lass  of  a  dozen  years, 
asked  me  a  few  minutes  ago  if  my  mother  knew 
where  I  was  spending  my  New-Year's  night.  Do' 
you,  my  dear  mother?  Then  is  maternal  clairvoy- 
ance most  clear-sighted  of  all. 

But  I  enjoyed  good,  motherly  old  Prague  so  well 
that  I  must  even  say  a  few  things  more  about  her. 
There  are  lots  of  churches  within  her  bounds,  built 
with  no  sort  of  taste,  according  to  no  rules  of  ar- 
chitecture, and  within  all  gilt  and  tinsel,  yet  rather- 
interesting  after  all.  One  has  two  queer  towers  with 
funny  little  towerets  bursting  out  on  all  sides  of 
them  like  top-onions. 

8 


114  MR.   DUNN   BROAVNE'S 

The  fortifications  are  very  strong,  especially  a  sort 
of  castle  on  a  high  hill  in  one  corner.  In  my  stroll 
this  morning  I  walked  up,  as  far  as  possible,  till  at 
last  1  came  to  an  immense  iron  gate  reaching  quite 
across  the  street,  and  was  turning  to  go  away  when  lo, 
the  massive  folds  unlocked  with  a  tremendous  crash, 
and  swung  majestically  open,  while  two  tall  mus- 
tachioed sentinels,  in  steel  breast  plates  and  gray  pan- 
taloons, armed  with  bayoneted  muskets  and  swords 
drawn,  appeared  and,  touching  their  helmets,  begged 
to  know  what  I  wanted.  Summoning  up  my  polit- 
est German,  I  made  the  best  explanation  possible, 
and  my  interrogators,  finding  that  no  distinguished 
general  or  sovereign  was  seeking  admittance,  but 
only  one  of  the  sovereign  Yankees  taking  a  morning 
airing,  retired  with  another  grim  salute,  while  the 
formidable  iron  jaws  shut  again  with  a  snap  as  it 
were  of  disappointment  at  not  catching  me. 

This  rehearsal  of  "much  ado  about  nothing" 
being  well  over,  your  wanderer  next  found  himself 
stuuibling  along  a  sort  of  out  of  door  market,  over 
all  sorts  of  odds  and  ends,  old  iron,  tin  ware,  wooden 
ware,  earthen  ware,  old  clothes,  rags,  straps,  and 
buckles,  as  if  all  the  garrets  in  the  world  were  emp- 
tied there  and  their  contents  assorted  and  arranged 
for  sale,  under  the  superintendence  of  sharp  women, 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   TARTS.  115 

seated  on  high  stools,  all  wrapped  in  shawls  and  knit- 
ting with  big  wooden  needles  as  if  for  dear  life,  with 
the  thermometer  all  the  while  nearly  down  to  zero. 
And  the  way  they  accosted  me  with  "  My  pretty  gen- 
tleman," "  My  darling  prince,  what  will  you  buy  ?  " 
"  Bless  your  handsome  face,  are  you  in  want  of  a 
tea-kettle  to  day  ?  "  etc.,  was  certainly  a  caution  to 
a  timid  gentleman,  and  a  lesson  in  Germa?i  aflfec- 
tionate  epithets  that  it  would  take  a  dictionary  some 
time  to  teach  you.  I  swallowed  more  sugar-coated 
German  in  a  half  hour  than  I  could  digest  in  a 
week. 


116  MR.   DUI^N   BROWXE'S 


CHAPTER     XXVIIl. 

^  VIENNA,    THE    MAGNIFICENT. 

Vienna,  beautiful,  gay,  lively,  rich,  aristocratic 
Vienna :  the  streets  thronged  with  liveried  carriages 
and  magnificent  horses  driven  at  a  furious  rate,  to 
the  imminent  peril  of  all  foot-passengers:  a  gor- 
geously dressed,  fur-mantled  porter  with  a  long  gilt 
wand,  standing  proudly  at  each  nobleman's  door: 
warlike  Vienna,  with  armed  soldiers  confronting 
you  at  every  turn,  and  every  great  building  a  casern 
(barracks)  which  isn't  a  palace  ;  pious  Vienna, 
where  people  go  to  church  at  all  hours  of  the  day, 
men,  women,  and  children :  suspicious  Vienna,  where 
every  thing  you  say  and  do  is  watched,  and  your  let- 
ters broken  open,  (much  good  may  this  do  them,) 
where  you  cannot  change  your  hotel  without  going 
to  the  police  for  permission  :  paper-money  Vienna, 
where  you  pay  for  a  cup  of  coffee  with  two  or  three 
bank-notes  of  eight  cents  each,  and  don't  see  a  bit  of 
specie  (save  copper)  once  a  week  :  cold,  frosty  Vi- 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  117 

enna,  where  you  l)ny  frozen  apples  at  the  markets, 
and  the  manners  of  the  people  are  as  cold  as  their 
noses  exposed  to  the  icy  air  of  the  Danube:  Vienna, 
(a  great  many  more  adjectives  might  be  applied  but 
time  fails,)  is  a  truly  imj)erial  city,  full  of  imposing 
buildings  and  interesting  places  to  visit,  and  yet 
somehow  I  like  it  less  than  any  great  city  I  have  vis- 
ited. There  isn't  any  thing  homely,  good-natured, 
and  jolly  here,  but  all  is  proud,  grand,  ceremonious, 
stiff,  and  splendid.  Have  visited  one  or  two  picture- 
galleries,  twenty  or  thirty  churches,  a  great  many 
cabinets  of  natural  history,  a  few  palaces,  and,  most 
interesting  of  all,  the  imperial  stables,  where  six  hun- 
dred noble  steeds  are  lodged  most  royally  and  fare 
sumptuously  every  day,  dutifully  attended  by  three 
hundred  two-legged  servants.  The  apartments  of 
their  Equine  Highnesses  are  at  once  splendid  and 
comfortable,  free  from  the  scent  of  the.  stable  an4 
clean  as  a  lady's  parlor.  Their  blankets  are  em- 
broidered with  the  imperial  crest,  their  harnesses, 
saddles,  and  all  their  equipments,  are  of  the  most 
costly  kind,  and  generally  in  excellent  taste.  In  one- 
large  hall  are  some  two  hundred  carriages,  of  which 
the  cheapest  cost  two  or  three  thousand  dollars,  and 
the  coronation  carriage,  adorned  with  paintings  by 
Rubens,    and    covered   with    diamonds    and    gold. 


118  MR.   DUNN  BROWNE'S 

wheels  and  all,  cost  about  two  liundred  and  fifty- 
thousand  dollars.  Another  hall,  filled  with  state 
saddles  and  trappings  of  various  descriptions,  is  still 
more  magnificent.  Bat  the  animals  themselves,  un- 
like most  occupants  of  palaces,  far  outshiiie  all  their 
exterior  adorntnents.  The  bright,  fiery,  intelligent 
eye,  the  proudly  arching  neck,  (the  horse  is  the  only 
animal  whom  pride  really  becomes,)  the  form  of  per- 
fect symmetry,  the  delicate  but  powerful  limbs,  the 
grace  of  every  movement,  the  gentleness  and  cour- 
tesy with  v/hich  they  receive  every  little  attention 
bestowed  upon  them,  the  high-bred  nobleness  and 
dignity  of  their  whole  deportment,  filled  me  with  ad- 
miration. I  would  rather  have  my  choice  from  those 
six  hundred  horses,  than  the  imperial  crown  of  their 
owner.  The  carriage  horses  are  all  white,  but  those 
for  riding  are  of  all  colors,  some  magnificently  black. 
The  imperial  collections  of  natural  history  are  not 
remarkable,  excejjt  the  collections  of  birds  and  espe- 
cially the  mineralogical  cabinet,  which  is  gorgeous 
almost  beyond  dcscri  ption.  There  are  about  one  thou- 
.sand  diamonds,  some  rough,  and  some  cnt  and  set  in 
rings,  a  great  bouquet  a  foot  high,  all  glittering  with 
jewels,  and  bees,  bugs  and  butterflies  made  of  pre- 
cious slones,  settling  on  the  flowers  of  like  material. 
There  arc  huge  goblets  cut  from  crystal;  necklaces, 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.       119 

cups,  boxes,  and  all  kinds  of  trinia'ts,  of  onyx,  agates, 
opals,  and  emeralds;  a  glorious  rock  crystal  from  Mad- 
agascar, three  feet  long,  weighing  one  hundred  and 
fifty  pounds,  of  almost  perfect  clearness  and  i)urity ; 
a  splendid  collection  of  petrified  woods;  great  quan- 
tities or  gold  and  silver  and  i)latina,  some  lumps  of 
eight,  ten,  twenty,  and  even  sixty  pounds  weight;  all 
sorts  of  ores,  metals,  meteorites,  fossils,  etc.,  etc. 

I  won't  bore  you  with  a  description  of  the  pictures 
I  have  seen,  although  there  are  some  exceedingly 
good  ones  in  the  Lichtenstein  palace,  nor  of  the 
churches  except  to  say  that  they  are  very  numerous 
and  costly  and  in  execrably  bad  taste,  all  crowded 
with  miserable  pictures  and  images,  relics  and  all 
manner  of  abominations  that  can  unite  to  spoil 
the  simplicity  that  ought  to  characterize  the  house 
of  God.  Even  St.  Stephen's,  which  has,  I  think, 
the  finest  tower  I  have  seen,  of  exquisite  propor- 
tions and  most  curious  carving,  and  whose  inte- 
rior is  very  striking  and  impressive,  has  a  great  re- 
dundancy of  ornament,  and  is  disfigured  by  tinsel 
and  gilding.  l>ut  it  is  a  delightiul  place  to  visit  in 
the  evening  for  the  music,  to  wander  about  in  the 
dark  aisles  and  corners  of  the  church,  and  hear  the 
solemn  tones  of  the  organ  reverberating  amidst  the 
columns  and  arches.     In  the  Italian  church  is  a  eel- 


120  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

ebrated  copy  in  Mosaic,  of  immense  size,  of  "  The 
Last  Supper,''  of  Leonardo  da  Vinci,  which  was 
carried  by  Napoleon  to  Paris  from  a  church  in  Italy, 
retaken  by  the  allies  in  1815,  and  finally  brought  to 
Vienna;  a  splendid  work  of  art,  for  the  sight  of 
which,  as  well  as  of  several  other  interesting  things, 
I  am  indebted  to  the  kindness  of  an  art-loving  tailor 
whom  I  met  in  the  streets,  and  who,  seeing  I  was  a 
stranger,  left  his  business  and  spent  the  afternoon  in 
visiting  places  of  interest  about  the  city  with  me. 
May  he  be  appointed  tailor  to  His  Royal  Imperial 
Catholic  Apostolical  Highness  (that  is  the  right  title, 
I  believe,)  Francis  Joseph,  and  make  his  fortune. 


EXPEIIIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  131 


CHAPTER   XXIX. 

TRIESTE   AND   VENICE^  PROSE   AND   POETRY. 

From  Vienna  to  Trieste  is  a  long,  liard,  miserable 
journey,  about  eighty  miles  of  it  by  post,  through  a 
desolate  chaos  of  a  country,  apparently  made  up  of 
the  odds  and  ends  that  were  left  at  the  creation, 
pitched  in  together  in  one  grand  jumble  of  rocks, 
mountains,  chasms,  and  precipices.  The  inhabitants 
speak  German,  ever  pronouncing  it  rougher  and 
harder,  however,  this  side  Vienna,  so  that  at  last  1 
was  obliged  to  remain  silent  half  a  day,  because  I 
can  only  speak  broken  German,  and  this  was  so  hard 
it  would  n't  break.  Towards  Trieste  the  people  in 
the  miserable  villages  we  passed  through  don't  seem 
to  speak  any  thing  in  jjurticular,  but  communicate 
with  each  other  mostly  by  signs,  assisted  a  little  by 
a  Sclavonic  dialect  composed  of  equal  parts  of  Rus- 
sian, German,  and  Italian,  with  a  slight  sprinkling  of 
very  bad  Latin.  From  this  barren  desert  of  a  coun- 
try we  emerged  at  last  on  the  verge  of  some  tremen- 


122  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

doiis  cliffs  where  we  had  a  fine  view  of — the  thick 
fog  which  covered  the  Adriatic,  and  then  zigzagged 
down  the  mountain  some  fifteen  hundred  feet  into 
the  dirty,  busthng  town  of  Trieste,  which  is  squeezed 
in  between  the  sea  and  the  cliffs,  and  has  suffered 
considerably  in  the  process.  There  being  absolutely 
nothing  to  see  here,  proceeded  to  see  when  I  could 
get  out  of  it  by  calling  at  the  office  of  the  Lloyd 
steamship  company. 

Finding  there  were  three  days  to  spare  before 
the  steamer  for  Egypt  left,  I  started  at  once  for  Ven- 
ice and  have  spent  that  little  morsel  of  time  in  the 
most  poetical  of  cities  ;  have  made  the  tour  of  the 
grand  canal  in  a  gondola,  (and  been  shockingly 
cheated  by  a  gondolier,)  have  stood  on  the  Rialto  and 
the  Bridge  of  Sighs,  explored  the  dungeons  of  the 
palace  of  the  Doges,  have  walked  in  the  most  lovely  of 
all  places,  the  Place  St.  Mark,  by  daylight,  by  gas- 
light, and  by  moonlight;  and  have  seen  as  much  of 
the  romantic  city  of  Lagunes  as  could  well  be  seen 
in  the  time  I  believe,  at  least  I  was  as  tired  when  I 
came  back  on  board  the  steamer  for  Trieste  as  I  ever 
was  after  a  week's  hard  labor  in  my  father's  hay-field. 

'J'he  most  striking  thing  about  the  city  is  of 
course  the  canals  and  the  utter  absence  of  horses 
and  vehicles  in  the  streets,  which  are  usually  only 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  123 

little  alloys  about  three  feet  wide,  with  occasion- 
ally a  bit  of  a  square  in  front  of  a  cjnux-h.  'I'hc 
churches  are  very  magnificent  and  full  of  the  monu- 
ments of  distinguished  Doges  and  other  remarkable 
individuals  of  whom  I  never  heard.  The  church  of 
St.  Mark  is  by  far  the  most  interesting  of  them  all, 
covered  with  mosaic  outside  and  in,  above  and  below. 
The  floor  is  very  curious,  with  all  manner  of  (|uaint 
figures  and  of  all  possible  colors,  and  sunk  in  many 
places  so  that  it  presents  a  succession  of  hill  and 
dale  to  your  footsteps.  The  walls  have  the  quaint- 
est mosaic  pictures  and  queer  inscriptions  and 
strange  carved  figures  and  old  gilding,  and  there  arc 
so  many  domes,  and  every  thing  is  so  totally  difiercnt 
from  any  other  church  that  was  ever  built,  and  so 
rich  in  a  sort  of  old-fashioned,  faded  way,  and  has 
such  an  Oriental,  Arabian  Nights  kind  of  look,  that 
you  can't  really  believe  in  it  even  while  you  are 
standins:  therein.  So  it  is  with  all  Venice.  I  can 
hardly  make  up  my  mind  whether  it  is  a  dream  or  a 
waking  reality ;  whether  I  have  really  seen  the 
winged  lion  of  St.  Mark  and  the  four  celebrated 
■bronze  horses,  and  elinibed  llic  high  bell  tower  for 
a  morning  look  at  the  Queen  of  the  Seas,  or  it  is 
only  a  vision ;  if  the  latter,  then  somebody  has 
stolen  ten  or  a  dozen  dollars  out  of  my  meagre  and 


124  MR.    DUXN   BROWXE'S 

fast  collapsing  purse,  that  is  all.  And  T  find  in  my 
mennorandum-book  also  a  veritable  cobweb  which  I 
have  a  pretty  distinct  recollection  of  gathering  in  the 
deepest  under-water  dungeon  of  the  Ducal  Palace. 

Of  the  paintings  of  Venice,  I  only  saw  one  gal- 
lery, and  there  is  one  picture  worth  all  the  rest  a 
hundred  times  told,  Titian's  "  Assumption,"  almost 
equal  to  Raphael's  Madonna  at  Dresden,  and  with 
more  character  and  expression  in  the  countenance, 
I  think,  than  in  the  sweet,  girlish  face  of  Murillo's 
"  Assumption"  in  the  Louvre  at  Paris. 

And  now  at  last  I  am  actually  on  board  the 
steamer  bound  for  Alexandria,  and  have  glided  past 
many  beautiful  mountainous  islands  in  the  Adriatic 
and  Mediterranean,  and  have  stopped  a  few  hours  at 
Corfu,  green,  beautiful,  strong,  fortified  Corfu,  and 
have  eaten  freshly  plucked  oranges,  and  to-morrow 
will  actually  be  in  Egypt,  and  see  Pompey's  Pillar, 
and  Cleopatra's  Needle  ;  unless  another  storm  burst 
upon  us,  for  we  have  had  a  storm ;  a  dreadful,  wild, 
raging  storm  on  a  dangerous  coast ;  a  sudden,  ter- 
rific white  squall  that  nearly  carried  us  into  eternity 
at  the  first  crash ;  a  hard,  persevering,  tenacious 
storm  that  has  thumped  and  pounded  our  strong, 
brave  old  ship  for  a  day  and  two  nights  with  heavy 
leaden   blows,  and    has    knocked   into    a   thousand 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   TARTS.  125 

pieces  and  carried  away  two  of  our  boats  and  some 
of  the  upper  works  of  tiie  ship ;  a  storm  such  as  I 
have  always  had  a  secret  longing  to  see,  but  am  per- 
fectly  satisfied  with  once  beholding;  not  a  ]:)oetical 
storm  where  the  waves  rolled  mountain-high  and  all 
that  nonsense,  but  an  actual  storm  where  two  stronsf 
winds  met  and  struggled  for  the  mastery,  and  the 
poor  ship  trembled  and  gi-oaned  between  them, 
where  the  waves  were  not  very  high  but  fierce  and 
dreadfully  angry  and  dashed  against  us  and  over  us 
with  earnest,  fearful  malignity,  with  "  malice  pre- 
pense ; "  but  our  Father  in  Heaven  hath  preserved 
us,  and  in  a  measure  calmed  the  waves,  and  we 
have  every  prospect  of  reaching  xVlexandria  in  safety 
to-morrow. 


126  MR.  DUXN  Browne's 


CHAPTER    XXX. 

SUMMIT   OF   THE   CHEOPS   PYRAMID. 

Rather  poetical  is  n't  it,  this  inditing  an  epistle, 
sitting  on  the  highest  stone  of  the  greatest  and  old- 
est pyramid,  with  the  green  valley  of  the  Nile  before 
me  and  an  infinite  sea  of  desert  all  around ;  with  the 
Sphynx  a  little  speck  at  my  feet,  and  the  mummies 
of  half  a  dozen  ancient  cities  in  sight,  or  rather  just 
sinking  out  of  sight  into  the  remorseless  sand  that  is 
drifting  upon  them  ;  sitting  upon  the  crumbling  old 
pyramid,  which  the  jaws  of  Time  himself  have  found 
too  tough  a  morsel  to  crush,  and  must  be  content 
with  gnawing  off  crumbs  from  its  surface,  and 
smoothing  its  sides  down  into  a  sleek  mountain 
which  posterity  shall  forget  to  have  been  the  work  of 
men's  hands ;  perched  on  the  crown  of  the  ragged, 
dilapidated  old  giant,  whose  smooth  granite  coat 
has  been  stripped  off  his  shoulders  to  adorn  the  up- 
start Cairo,  an  infant  of  a  thousand  years  or  so  on 
the  other  side  of  the  Nile.     Rather  romantic,  writing 


EXPERIENCES   IX   FOREIGN   PARTS.  127 

you  from  the  top  of  the  Cheops,  amidst  a  picturesque 
group  of  Bedouins,  Englishmen,  and  Yankees,  who 
are  noisily  engaged  in  all  the  dilTerent  occupations 
that  can  possibly  be  carried  on  in  such  circumstan- 
ces ;  talking  poetry,  discussing  the  sites  of  lost  cities, 
cracking  jokes  at  the  expense  of  the  respectable  old 
Egyptians  who  piled  up  the  pyramids,  selling 
and  buying  various  rather  dubiously  authenticated 
antiquities,  paying  sundry  shillings  to  see  an  Arab 
go  up  and  down  the  second  pyramid  in  ten  min- 
utes, drinking  Nile  water  and  champagne,  laughing, 
lunching,  and  dealing  in  relics,  a  foot  of  a  mummy  per- 
haps in  one  hand  and  a  leg  of  a  turkey  in  the  other. 
Rather  a  case  of  the  pursuit  of  literature  under 
dilllculties,  isn't  it,  this  writing  when  one's  hand  is 
a  little  shaky  with  the  fatigue  of  climbing  a  couple 
of  hundred  three  feet  steps  without  any  help,  with  a 
little  quill  two  inches  long,  paper  spread  out  on  a 
stone,  and  a  Bedouin  boy  holding  the  inkstand,  (a 
German  pocket  inUhorn  which  unscrews  in  half  a 
dozen  places  and  is  as  complicated  as  a  Yankee  pa- 
tent rat-trap)  ;  but  I  promised  to  date  you  an  epistle 
from  the  pyramids,  and  my  promise  is  fullllled,  even 
though  I  stop  here  and  partake  of  the  cold  fowl 
which  my  companion  offers  me,  leaving  the  re- 
mai-nder  of  the  sheet  to  be  filled  in  Cairo 


128  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

And  so  at  last  one  part  of  my  pilgrimage  is  ended, 
I  have  seen  the  great  monuments  of  Egypt  from 
afar  and  near  at  hand ;  have  walked  around  them, 
gathered  a  handful  of  sand  at  their  feet,  climbed  to 
their  summit  and  crawled  into  their  heart,  surveyed 
their  desolations,  felt  their  grandeur,  been  disap- 
pointed at  their  shabbiness,  sympathized  with  their 
loneliness,  picked  up  stones  that  have  rested  against 
the  bosom  of  the  Sphynx,  descended  into  the  old, 
broken  tombs,  and  transported  myself  in  a  granite 
sarcophagus  three  thousand  years  up  the  stream 
of  time.  The  emotion  of  beauty  is  inspired  only  at 
a  distance,  that  of  sublimity  only  close  at  hand,  but 
the  feeling  of  sadness  and  desolation  everywhere  in 
their  vicinity.  The  desert  is  their  appropriate  place ; 
the  mutilated  Sphynx,  the  ruined  causeways,  the  de- 
serted tombs,  the  broken  fragments  of  marble  and 
granite,  the  half  obliterated  inscriptions,  and  the  de- 
caying pyramids  themselves,  are  all  in  perfect  har- 
mony, harmoniously  mournful;  one  grand  Necropolis, 
and  worse  than  that  a  deserted  burial-place,  so 
gloomy  that  even  its  dead  inhabitants  have  aban- 
doned it,  and  the  last  trumpet  itself  shall  stir  into 
life  no  dust  in  those  tenantless  tombs. 

I  was  disappointed  to  find  the  stone  of  the  pyra- 
mids of  so  poor  a  quality  and  the  courses  so  irregular. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  129 

Even  the  hundred  feet  of  facing  that  remains  at  the 
aj3ex  of  the  second  in  size  is  crumbling  away,  and 
has  so  many  crevices  that  the  ascent  is  by  no  means 
difficult,  though  the  descent  in  one  or  two  places 
where  the  crevices  are  four  or  five  feet  apart,  is 
so  slippery  an  operation  that  some  of  his  friends 
watched  with  a  little  anxiety  Mr.  Browne's  down- 
ward progress,  and  expected  to  pick  him  up  in  sev- 
eral pieces  on  the  plain  below. 

The  accommodations  in  the  interior  of  the  great 
pyramid  are  much  more  limited  than  a  survey  of  its 
exterior  would  naturally  lead  one  to  imagine,  consist- 
ing of  a  very  small  cellar  one  hundred  and  fifty  feet 
deep,  a  diminutive  drawing-room  on  the  first  floor, 
and  a  tolerable  bedchamber  in  the  second  story, 
with  two  or  three  miserable  attics,  and  the  arrange- 
ments for  ventilation  are  so  poor  that  a  fat  English- 
man in  our  company  fainted  and  had  to  be  carried 
out.  INIy  experience  would  not  l^ad  me  to  recom- 
mend it  as  a  residence  for  any  great  length  of  time,, 
though  I  believe  the  builder  intended  to  take  up  his 
permanent  abode  therein. 

The  greatest  nuisance  of  the  visit  to  Ghizeeh  is 
the  swarm  of  dirty,  half-naked  Arabs,  who  fasten^ 
themselves  upon  you,  and  cannot  be  shaken  off,  not 
even  by  the  payment  of  money,  for  they  build  up  their- 

9 


130  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

demands  upon  you  on  the  model  of  the  pyramids 
themselves,  first  laying  down  a  large  sum  for  a  foun- 
dation, and  then  when  you  have  paid  that,  superad- 
ding another  not  quite  so  large,  and  another,  and 
another,  like  the  different  courses  of  stone,  decreas- 
ing as  they  go  up,  till  at  last  you  get  out  of  all 
patience,  and  knock  off  their  apex  with  the  biggest 
club  you  can  lay  hands  on.  Be  careful  to  hit  them 
on  the  head,  however,  or  you  may  do  them  some  se- 
rious injury.     Yours,  out  of  the  land  of  Egypt. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  131 


C  H  AFTER    XXXI. 

INTRODUCES  YOU  TO  SUNDRY  INTERESTING  PEOPLE. 

Would  you  like  to  call  npoii  me  at  my  lodgings 
in  Cairo  ?  Ah,  well,  I  can  easily  direct  you.  After 
you  come,  by  a  rather  complicated  route,  to  the 
Italian  Bazaar,  turn  up  a  narrow  lane  to  the  left, 
(not  the  one  by  the  old  shoemaker's  with  a  long 
pipe  in  his  mouth,  but  further  on  at  the  corner 
where  the  young  woman  sells  oranges  sitting  on 
the  ground  with  a  baby  in  her  lap,)  then  take  the 
right  along  a  ruined  wall  and  some  ragged  beggars, 
and  bear  to  the  left  again  through  a  low,  arched 
gateway,  down  a  street  lined  with  donkey-boys,  till 
you  come  to  a  small  door  on  which  a  torn  theatre- 
bill  is  pasted,  which  door  you  enter,  pass  under  the 
house,  through  the  stable  in  the  rear,  out  into  another 
street  about  three  feet  wide,  where  you  will  probably 
meet  a  long  train  of  camels  laden  with  stones  and 
with  dripping  water-skins,  take  the  Second  turning 
to  the  left  round  the  decayed  mosk  painted  in  red 


132  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

and  wliite  horizontal  stripes,  and  then,  as  the  way 
becomes  now  rather  difBcult  to  find,  you  had  better 
go  back  to  the  street  of  donkey-boys  above  men- 
tioned, and  engage  one  of  them,  (the  lit.tle  fellow 
with  one  eye  and  a  remarkably  wicked-looking 
crop-eared  donkey  knows  where  "Milord  Browne" 
lives,)  and  ride  the  remaining  distance. 

We  are  in  a  very  aristocratic  part  of  the  city, 
in  the  vicinity  of  several  legations  and  consulates, 
near  several  eminent  bankers,  etc.,  and  like  our 
quarters  very  much,  both  myself  and  the  recently 
arrived — Oh,  I  am  afraid  I  haven't  mentioned  yet, 
the  arrival  of  a  party  of  old  college  friends,  pale- 
faced  devotees  of  the  Muses,  you  know,  who  have 
burned  down  their  lamp  of  existence,  in  midnight 
studies,  to  about  the  last  flicker,  and  come  out  here 
to  get  tilled  and  trimmed  again ;  men  who  have 
climbed  to  the  very  summit  of  the  Hill  of  Science, 
and  are  now  come  down  on  the  other  side  to  rest 
a  little ;  who  have  disentangled  themselves  from 
Greek  roots,  and  the  horns  of  logical  dilemmas, 
and  metaphysical  paradoxes,  to  come  out  and  take 
a  look  at  the  pyramids  and  get  acquainted  with  the 
sphynx  and  make  a  cruise  on  "  the  ship  of  the 
desert."  Ah,  \\iell,  it  was  better  than  a  circus  to  see 
them  ride  in   on  donkeys,  night  before  last,  at  the 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  1.33 

north-western  ga'fe  of  the  city,  surrounded  by  a  halo 
of  dusky  Arabs  bearing  their  portmanteaus,  shawls, 
and  mackintoshes.  You  see  I  was  just  starting  out, 
after  my  custom,  to  take  a  little  evening  air  and  a 
bit  of  Egyptian  sunset,  with  a  couple  of  pyramids 
in  it,  and  was  meditating  as  I  walked  along,  upon 
the  advisability  of  setting  off  alone  for  Joppa  and 
Jericho,  or  of  waiting  here  a  little  longer,  on  the 
remote  possibility  that  tny  friends  might  have  health 
enough  to  reach  these  distant  shores  and  accompany 
me  on  my  pilgrimage,  when  my  thoughts  were 
interrupted  by  an  apj)roaching  tumult,  and  there 
quickly  appeared,  emerging  from  a  cloud  of  dust  and 
donkey-drivers,  a  round,  rosy,  aldermanic  individual, 
ambling  along  on  an  aged  gray  donkey,  who  seemed 
to    me    so    much    like    an    enlarged    and    improved 

edition  of  my  young  friend  "  Dick  ,*'  that  he 

was  seized  and  greeted  under  that  familiar  appella- 
tion in  less  time  than  I  could  describe  the  additional 
twenty  pounds  of  him  that  I  had  never  seen  before. 
And  the  rest  of  that  imposing  cavalcade,  as  they 
successively  came  up,  were  attacked  in  a  similar 
manner  and  robbed  —  of  a  good  deal  of  anxiety 
which  they  professed  to  have  felt  at  not  finding  me 
in  Alexandria.  Let  us  see,  first  there  was  "  George, 
the  Magnificent^^'*  he  of  tall  stature  and  stately  mien. 


134  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

with  beard  and  moustache  black  *as  jet,  sitting  in 
upright  dignity  on  the  smallest  of  donkey-kind, 
obliged  to  lift  nji  his  feet  considerably  lest  his  steed 
should  go  out  from  under  him.  Next,  vigorously 
belaboring  with  an  umbrella  the  most  refractory  of 
asinine  species,  preceded  by  a  pair  of  gold  spectacles 
and  a  formidable  moustache,  looking  the  very  personi- 
fication of  health,  came  the  "  Professor^''  (whose 
modesty  prevents  my  designating  him  any  more 
particularly,)  who  a  year  ago  was  nothing  but  an 
untied  bundle  of  unstrung  nerves,  but  now  can  bear 
any  amount  of  fatigue,  doesn't  know  the  meaning 
of  the  word  "  nerve  "  except  by  tracing  it  out  etymo- 
logically,  and  will  explore  more  ruins  and  catacombs 
and  such  antique  trumpery  in  a  day  than  any  person 
I  know  of,  unless  it  be  perhaps  —  well  I  am  a  mod- 
est individual  and  will  pass  on  to  the  next  topic, 
which  is  one  of  no  less  importance  than  our  "  Wil- 
liam the  Conqveror^^  who  approaches,  guiding  with 
unequalled  skill  his  prancing  steed,  in  all  the  glory 
of  an  oriental  beard  reaching  wellnigh  to  his  girdle, 
a  regular  Arab.shekh  in  grace  and  solemnity  of 
bearing,  distinguished  for  a  certain  wild,  poetical 
enthusiasm  of  character  and  an  utter  contempt  and 
disregard  of  every  thing  of  a  pecuniary  or  business 
nature,  all  which  therefore  devolves  upon  his  intimate 


EXPERIEXCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  135 

friend,  the  practical  "  Is/mm,''  (good  old  Scripture 
name  you  see,)  who  rides  up  next  on  a  very  demure 
donkey,  ^^  Ishom,  (lie  Blond,'^  as  wc  usually  call  him, 
on  account  of  a  peculiar  delicacy'of  complexion.  He 
is  our  main  reliance  in  all  matters  of  business,  but 
of  singular  obtuseness  in  reference  to  every  thing 
of  a  jocular  nature,  so  that  his  friends  delight  to 
perpetrate  puns  in  his  presence,  in  order  to  watch  the 
workings  of  his  countenance  as  he  vainly  endeavors 
to  find  out  what  they  are  all  laughing  at.  And 
here  is  at  last  our  glorious  "  iVff/,"  who,  if  good 
looks  were  a  capital  offence,  could  n't  disguise  him- 
self so  as  to  escape  hanging  six  months,  unless  the 
executioners  were  perhaps  women,  in  which  case 
they  never  could  find  it  in  their  hearts  to  choke 
him,  in  That  way  at  least.  Last  of  all  appears  our 
Ninirod,  our  Jehu,  our  lion-slayer,  our  horse-tamer, 
"IF.  //.  P.,  tlie  Impetuous,^^  a  Curtius,  ready  for  any 
gulf  you  can  open  before  him,  (he  will  leap  over  it, 
not  into  it  though,)  a  Richard  the  Third,  ready  to 
give  his  kingdom  for  a  horse,  who  can  ride  any 
thing  quadrupedal  from  a  kicking  donkey  like  that 
he  is  now  cudgelling,  up  to  a  wild  elephant.  He  is 
otherwise  remarkable  as  an  early  riser  and  also  for 
an  intense  determination  never  to  be  "  humbugged." 
So  now  you  are  introduced  to  the  whole  company. 
May  the  acquaintance  be  a  pleasant  one. 


136  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 


CHAPTER    XXXII. 

A   VOICE   FROM   THE   TOMBS. 

Being  unanimously  elected  dragoman  of  the 
newly-airived  party,  I  of  course,  proceeded  at  once 
tb  arrange  an  excursion  to  the  pyramids,  although  I 
had  already  once  made  the  trip.  Wishing  to  make 
thorough  work  and  visit  every  thing  of  interest  in 
the  vicinity,  we  determined  to  take  provisions  for 
two  days  and  sleep  in  a  tomb  at  Sakkara.  Mounted 
our  donkeys  at  an  early  hour,  and,  taking  an  extra 
one  for  baggage,  accomplished  our  journey  to  Ghi- 
zeeh  with  great  success,  keeping  the  Bedouins  at  a 
tolerable  distance ;  pushed  on  to  Sakkara  in  the 
afternoon,  taking  a  half  dozen  ruined  pyramids  on 
the  way.  On  our  arrival  at  nightfall,  inquired  of  our 
guide  for  some  tombs,  in  order  to  make  our  selection 
for  lodgings,  and  were  told  by  him  in  the  most  posi- 
tive manner  that  there  were  no  tombs  at  all  in  that 
vicinity,  and  we  must  put  up  for  the  night  in  the 
Arab  village  about  a  mile  distant.     Disbelieved  him. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  137 

of  course,  which  is  the  only  way  in  which  you  can 
get  any  good  from  an  Arab  guide,  and  scattered  in 
all  directions  in  the  search,  determined  not  to  be 
cheated  out  of  the  romance  of  a  tomb-hotel.  As  it 
was  getting  dark  and  the  whole  region  is  full  of  deep 
pits  (out  of  which  several  millions  of  ancient  Egyp- 
tians have  recently  been  dug),  this  search  for  a  tomb 
was  quite  likely  to  be  successful  in  a  way  different 
from  what  we  intended,  Init  at  last  the  Professor, 
who  is  a  capital  guide  among  pits  and  snares  and 
temptations  of  all  sorts,  hailed  to  inform  us  of  his  suc- 
cess. Dismissed  our  donkeys  and  guide,  shouldered 
the  blankets  and  j)rovisions  and  before  the  total 
Egyptian  darkness  was  quite  upon  us,  had  all 
reached  the  quarters  indicated,  which  were  a  rocky 
cliff  all  perforated  with  hewn  sepulchres,  with  hiero- 
glyphics over  the  entrance,  representing  men  mowing 
and  reaping,  and  various  jars  and  baskets  filled  with 
bread  and  fruits,  which  we  very  naturally  interpreted, 
"  Good  entertainment  for  man  and  beast,"  and  ac- 
cordingly invited  our,selves  in  and  took  such  apart- 
ments as  suited  our  tastes.  For  our  dining-room  we 
chose  a  vaulted  chamber,  curiously  painted  and 
adorned  with  bas-reliefs  of  various  agricultural  oper- 
ations, fishes,  fruits,  birds,  and  flowers;  for  bedcham- 
bers, those  which   had  figures  of  men  and  women 


138  MR.   DUNN   LROWNE'S 

combing  their  hair  and  performing  different  opera- 
tions of  the  toilet.  We  were  soon  visited  by  some 
Bedouins  who  brought  us  a  jar  of  water,  whereupon 
we  brought  out  our  chickens,  etc.,  and  made  a  hearty 
meal,  then  explored  a  quarter  of  a  mile  of  tombs  by 
candlelight  and  retired  to  rest. 

Slept  rather  comfortably,  though  before  morning 
found  the  tomb  somewhat  cold,  but  that  I  think  is  a 
quality  usually  ascribed  to  tombs,  and  therefore  no 
more  than  was  to  have  been  expected.  The  "boys" 
amused  themselves  in  the  morning  by  shooting  at 
the  skull  of  an  ancient  Egyptian,  at  three  rods  dis- 
tance, with  revolvers,  and  came  near  perforating  the 
skull  of  a  modern  Egyptian,  who  appeared  suddenly 
round  a  corner,  bringing  water  for  our  breakfast. 
We  made  a  rather  successful  breakfast  and  then  pro- 
ceeded to  visit  the  Serapseum,  which  is  described  in 
none  of  the  guide  books  and  has  only  been  discov- 
ered within  two  or  three  years,  and  which  consists  of 
a  series  of  subterranean  galleries  hewn  out  of  the 
rock  containing  thirty-four  enormous  sarcophagi  of 
red  granite,  for  the  reception  of  the  mummied  bulls  of 
the  ancient  Egyptians.  They  are  on  an  average 
about  twelve  feet  long,  six  feet  wide,  and  seven  feet 
high,  only  one  or  two  of  them  covered  with  inscrip- 
tions, but  all  polished  externally  and  internally,  and 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  139 

each  hewn  from  a  sinirle  block.  The  walls  arc  four- 
teen inches  thick,  and  the  cover  or  lid  to  each,  from 
fourteen  to  thirty  inches  thick,  one  entirely  removed 
and  the  others  slipped  back  two  or  three  feet,  to  allow 
the  removal  of  the  bull.  They  are  all  now  empty  and 
were  found  in  their  present  condition,  or  with  only 
fragments  of  iiminmies  in  them,  by  the  Frenchman 
who  has  superintended  the  excavations.  How  these 
immense  sarcophagi  ever  came  into  their  present  po- 
sition, down  under  the  earth  in  narrow  galleries  hewn 
out  of  the  rock,  is  a  mystery  I  am  unable  to  solve, 
and  this  whole  subterranean  bull-cemetery  impresses 
one  with  as  strange  ideas  of  the  old  Egyptians  as  per- 
haps the  pyramids  themselves.  And  then  there  are 
the  sepulclires  of  the  Ibis  mummies,  where  hundreds 
of  thousands  of  those  sacred  birds  were  carefully  pre- 
served enbalmed,  wrapped  in  cloths  and  packed  in 
earthen  jars.  The  crocodile  mummy  pits  are  further 
up  the  Nile,  and  we  did  n't  see  them.  But  while  they 
took  so  much  pains  to  save  the  carcasses  of  beasts 
and  birds  and  reptiles,  the  bodies  of  men,  at  least  the 
common  people,  were  tumbled  in  together,  into  great 
pits  a  hundred  feet  deep,  multitudes  of  \\iiich  have 
lately  been  opened  at  Sakkara,  and  the  whole  earth 
is  covered  with  the  bones  and  skulls,  which  latter  are 
of  wonderful  thickness,  though  tolerably  well-shaped. 


140  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

Wonder  if,  some  thousands  of  years  hence,  anybody 
will  be  kicking  our  skulls  about  and  commenting 
upon  their  thickness ! 

We  next  visited  the  site  of  Memphis,  of  whose 
ruins  nothing  now  remains  except  a  few  broken  col- 
umns and  mutilated  statues,  and  especially  one  gigan- 
tic granite  king  who  lies  with  his  face  in  the  mud, 
and  if  the  water  rises  six  inches  higher  will  certainly  be 
stifled.  This  colossus,  if  he  ever  had  any  legs,  (which 
he  has  not  at  present,)  must  have  been  fifty  or  sixty 
feet  high,  is  very  well  proportioned,  and  has  a  line 
face,  wearing  a  benevolent  smile,  which  to  be  sure 
loses  something  of  its  effect  in  the  mud  puddle,  but 
nevertheless  shows  a  spirit  not  to  be  ruffled  even  in 
the  most  adverse  circumstances.  Having  paid  our 
respects  to  his  majesty  and  offered  him  our  condo- 
lence upon  his  fallen  condition,  we  resumed  our  don- 
keys and  took  up  our  march  for  Cairo,  prepared  to 
appreciate  the  advantages  of  a  habitation  built  for 
living  men,  (even  though  it  must  be  occupied  jointly 
with  the  fleas  and  musquitoes,)  after  a  night  in  the 
tombs  of  Sakkara.  Ever  yours,  alike  among  the  liv- 
ing and  in  the  abodes  of  the  dead. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  141 


CHAPTER   XXXIII. 

CAIRO,   THE   PICTURESQUE. 

The  ten  plagues  of  Egypt,  or  at  least  of  Cairo,  at 
present  are  —  Donlccy-boys,  who  surround  you  the 
moment  you  set  foot  in  the  street,  and  block  up  your 
path  till  you  have  cleared  the  way  with  a  cane : 
Dragomen,  who  beset  you  in  every  passage  of  your 
hotel,  and  throng  into  your  room  to  bore  you  with 
big  pocketbooks  full  of  recommendations,  and  who 
are  ready  to  take  you  up  the  Nile,  over  the  desert  to 
Jerusalem,  Ethiopia,  or  China,  at  a  pound  sterling  a 
day  and  find  you  in  provisions  :  3Iusquitoes,  who 
defy  nets  and  curtains  and  puncture  you  at  all  hours 
of  the  day  and  night :  Fleas,  in  countless  numbers 
and  of  unmitigated  ferocity,  who  never  leave  you  an 
instant's  peace,  who  crawl  up  your  pantaloons  and 
down  your  neck,  and  take  delight  in  biting  you  in 
aggravating  places  where  you  can't  possibly  get  at 
them :  Cocks,  who  crow  at  all  hours  of  the  night  in 
the  shrillest  of  tones  :  wild,  masterless,  wolfy  Dogs, 


142  MR.   DUNN    BROWNE'S 

who  bark  always  and  bite  whenever  they  dare:  Flies^ 
which  completely  cover  face  and  eyes  of  the  little 
Arab  babies,  and  carry  ophthalmia  from  one  to 
another:  Dust,  which  doable  and  triple  windows 
cannot  keep  out  of  your  bedroom,  and  no  amount  of 
green  veils  or  spectacles  keep  out  of  your  eyes : 
Darkness,  unrelieved  by  the  glimmer  of  a  single 
street  lamp,  and  which  of  necessity  confines  you  to 
your  lodgings  after  six  o'clock  in  the  evening :  and 
"  Backsheesh,''^  which  rings  in  your  ears  and  empties 
your  pockets,  wherever  you  go  and  wherever  you  stay, 
when  you  rise  up  and  when  you  sit  down,  when  you 
go  out  and  when  you  come  in,  a  perpetual,  universal, 
unavoidable  nuisance.  Barring  these  and  a  few 
other  little  inconveniences  that  I  have  n't  time  to  men- 
tion, Cairo  is  a  truly  delightful  residence.  The  city 
is  much  larger  than  I  expected  to  find  it ;  seems  of 
ample  size  for  half  a  million  inhabitants,  though 
many  of  its  buildings  are  in  a  ruinous  state,  and  1 
think  the  usual  estimate  of  population  is  from  two 
to  three  hundred  thousand.  Two  or  three  of  the 
streets  are  wide  enough  for  a  narrow  carriage  to  pass 
through,  but  the  usual  width  will  just  allow  me  and 
a  donkey  (or  two  donkeys  as  the  case  may  be,)  to 
meet  without  interference.  The  houses  project  as  in 
German  cities,  and  the  upper  windows  are  within 


EXPERIENCES    IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  143 

"  short  kissing  distance,"  as  one  of  the  younger  mem- 
bers of  our  party,  (who  is  familiarly  addre;ised  by  his 
friends  as  "  Dick,")  remarked  to  me  yesterday,  and  I 
consider  him  good  authority  in  this  instance,  for  I 
saw  a  pair  of  black  eyes  peeping  through  the  lat- 
tice opposite  his  room  the  other  day.  Speaking  of 
lattices,  they  are  one  of  the  most  striking  and  pecul- 
iar features  of  an  Egyptian  house,  most  fancifully 
carved  and  of  every  variety  of  pattern. 

We  prosecute  our  researches  through  the  crooked 
bazaars  and  streets  of  the  city  in  the  asinine  method, 
that  is,  mounted  on  donkeys,  which  is  a  pleasant 
enough  kind  of  proceeding  when  the  beast  does  n't 
stumble  and  pitch  you  over  his  head  into  a  mud  pud- 
dle. The  mosks  of  Cairo  are  nearly  all  old,  unre- 
paired, and  falling  to  pieces,  though  the  so  called 
"  New  Mosk,"  built  by  Mohammed  Ali  in  the  cita- 
del, is  very  splendid,  entirely  lined  with  beautiful 
alabaster,  with  an  admirable  dome  and  painted  win- 
dows and  a  fine  court  paved  with  marble.  The 
Mosk  Hassan,  also,  which  was  built  from  the  out- 
side coating  of  the  pyramids,  is  of  vast  size,  and  has 
four  magnificent  arches  of  fifty  or  sixty  feet  span; 
but  in  general  the  mosks  are  interesting  rather  as 
ruins  of  past  glory  than  as  existing  living  buildings. 

The  view  from  the  citadel  (on  a  lofty  eminence  at 


144  xMR.  Duxx  Browne's 

the  back  of  the  city,)  is  the  most  striking  landscape 
I  have  seejp.  The  two  mountainous,  treeless  deserts 
parted  asunder  by  the  green  valley  of  the  Nile;  the 
groups  of  pyramids  in  the  distance,  the  ruins  of 
mosks,  palaces,  and  tombs  all  around  the  city;  the 
groves  of  palms  and  acacias  to  the  west  and  north, 
through  which  here  and  there  gleam  the  white  walls 
of  a  country  residence  ;  and  the  city  itself,  with  its 
hundreds  of  graceful  minarets,  its  palaces  and  gar- 
dens, narrow  streets,  flat  roofs,  and  ornamented 
domes,  its  old  battlemented  wall  with  picturesque 
towers,  its  winding  canal  whose  course  is  marked 
with  verdure  and  occasional  palm  trees;  its  mud  huts 
side  by  side  with  lofty  edifices  of  stone  :  such  another 
view  I  don't  believe  exists  in  the  world,  desolation 
and  cultivation,  barrenness  and  fertility,  splendor  and 
squalor,  mud,  marble,  and  wood,  ancient  and  mod- 
ern, broken  and  whole,  barbarous,  civilized,  and  Turk- 
ish ;  it  is  inimitable  and  indescribable  and  unimag- 
inable, and  I  only  wish  you  were  here  to  take  don- 
keys and  ride  up  with  me  to  see  it  for  yourselves, 
and  save  me  the  trouble  of  writing  about  it. 

,  The  Arabs  are  a  very  picturesque  and  decidedly 
dirty  race.  Their  dress  is  graceful  and  elegant  — 
sometimes^  but  to  dress  in  the  common  Arab  cos- 
tume, one  need  only  get  into  an  old,  torn  night-shirt 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREION   PARTS.  145 

and  tie  a  handkerchief  about  his  head,  and  even  two 
of  these  articles  may  be  dispensed  with  without  be- 
ing greatly  out  of  fashion.  The  women  (like  the 
ostriches  we  read  of  who  put  their  heads  into  a  bush 
and  think  themselves  entirely  safe)  take  a  little 
pains,  most  of  them,  to  cover  their  faces,  but  no  great 
care  as  to  any  other  part  of  the  person. 

The  houses  are  miserable  mud  huts,  and  the  peo- 
ple are  so  filthy  that  I  have  been  astonisl]ed  to  find 
the  dogs,  sheep,  goats,  and  donkeys  willing  to  oc- 
cupy as  joint-tenants  with  those  who  are  so  much 
more  degraded  in  the  scale  of  being  than  them- 
selves. 

10 


146  MR.   DUNN   BROAVNE'S 


CHAPTER   XXXIV. 

JOHN   BULL   SEES   MORE   THAN   HE   BARGAINED   FOR. 

Februavij  5th. —  A  queer  little  incident  of  travel 
happened  hereabouts  last  week.    The  steamer  which 
has  just  made  a  voyage  up  the  Nile  stopped  at  Sak- 
kara  on  her  return,  to  permit  the  passengers  to  go 
out  and  see  the  pyramids,  Serapaeum,  Ibis  pits,  etc. 
An  Englishman  belonging  to  the  party  unfortunately 
became  entangled  in  the  passages  of  a  pyramid  and 
couldn't  get  out.     His  companions  by  and  by  miss- 
ing him,  searched  the  whole  region  about  an  hour 
and  a  half  and  finally  concluded   he  had  preceded 
them  in  the  return  to  their  steamer,  and  went  away 
without  him.     The  poor  fellow  at   last,   half  dead 
with  the  fright  and  the  bad  air  combined,  succeeded 
in  getting  out  into  daylight,  what  little  there  was 
left  of  it,  for  it  was  almost  night,  and  by  signs  signi- 
fied  to  some    Bedouins,  whom   he   discovered,   his 
wish  to  be  taken  to  the  river,  which  they  complied 
with,  first  relieving  him  of  most  of  his  superfluous 


EXPERIENCES    IN   FOIIEIGN   PARTS.  147 

cash.  But  they  igiiorantly  or  wilfully  conducted  him 
too  far  up  the  river,  and  found  no  steamer,  so  carried 
him  back  again  three  or  four  miles  to  the  pyramids, 
and  were  for  detaining  him  till  further  advices.  Dur- 
ing the  night,  however,  he  effected  his  escape,  found 
his  way  on  foot,  over  canals  and  ditches,  through 
palm  groves,  grain  fields,  and  sugar  cane  patches  to 
the  Nile,  cut  loose  a  boat  and  floated  down  stream 
to  Cairo.  But  his  troubles  were  by  no  means  over 
yet.  Scarcely  had  he  landed  when  the  city  guards 
seized  him  as  a  marauder  and  thief,  and,  not  being 
able  to  understand  his  explanation,  pricked  him 
about  with  their  bayonets  from  one  guard-house  to 
another,  in  search  of  some  one  who  could  talk  with 
him,  but  not  succeeding,  thrust  him  at  length  with 
much  abuse  into  a  dark,  filthy,  flea-y  prison,  and  it 
was  only  on  the  next  afternoon  that  he  found  him- 
self free,  having  had  nothing  to  eat  for  twenty-four 
hours,  but  being  himself  eaten  all  that  time  by  ver- 
min, his  clothes  torn  and  covered  with  mud,  his 
whole  appearance  more  that  of  a  dilapidated  dust- 
man than  a  trim,  spruce,  neatly  shaved,  English 
traveller.  I  think  that  man  will  retain  some  vivid 
recollections  of  his  Egyptian  experiences,  and  as  an 
Englishman  always  values  a  thing  by  what  it  costs 
him,  doubtless  that  Cairo  cell  will  ever  remain  very 
dear  to  his  memory. 


148  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

A  friend  related  the  above  to  me  as  we  were  re- 
clining on  a  divan  smoking  chibouks  and  drinking 
coffee  with  the  howling  dervishes,  and  therefore,  al- 
though you  may  not  see  the  particular  connection  be- 
tween the  two  subjects,  I  shall  proceed  to  give  you 
a  short  account  of  the  proceedings  of  that  fraternity 
on  the  afternoon  of  last  Friday,  which,  as  everybody 
knows,  I  need  not  say,  is  the  Mohammedan  Sabbath. 
After  partaking  of  the  above-mentioned  refreshments, 
we  all  adjourned  to  the  mosk  connected  with  the  es- 
tablishment, leaving  our  slippers  and   boots  at  the 
entrance.     The  head  dervish,  after  one  or  two  pros- 
trations, seated  himself  in  a  little  niche,  which  is  al- 
ways found  on  the  Mecca  side  of  a  mosk,  cross-leg- 
ged,   on   a   beautifully   embroidered   mat,   and   the 
brethren  (about  thirty  in    number)  arranged  them- 
selves  in   a  semicircle,  on  sheep  skins,  in   front  of 
their  leader,  each  having   bowed   reverently   before 
him  and  kissed  his  hand,  taking  pains  also  to  retire 
backwards  to  his  own  place.     Then  with  a  few  pre- 
liminary ejaculations  they  began  to  repeat  a  formula 
which,  as  near  as  I  could  find  out,  was,  "  There  is 
no  other  God  but  Allah,"  at  first  in  a  quiet  and  sol- 
emn voice,  afterwards  in  a  more  rapid  and  excited 
manner,  waving  their  bodies  to  and  fro.     After  con- 
tinuing this  a  wearisome  while,  (my  friend  said  a 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  149 

thousand  and -one  times.)  they  were  silent  a  few- 
minutes,  the  motions  continuing  however,  then  ])e- 
gan  anew  with  the  repetition  of  the  single  word 
"  Allah,"  bowing  their  heads  in  concert,  ever  lower 
and  lower,  getting  constantly  more  and  more  excited. 
At  last  they  all  rose  simultaneously,  kicked  away 
the  sheep  skins,  took  oil"  their  outer  garment  and 
their  high  red  cap,  leaving  their  long  hair  to  flow  at 
random  over  their  shoulders,  and  commenced  a  sin- 
gular and  most  doleful  groaning  which  is  still  ring- 
ing in  my  ears,  but  is  not  enough  like  any  other 
known  sound  for  me  to  describe,  at  the  same  time 
bowing  their  bodies  till  the  dishevelled  hair  swept  the 
floor  in  front  of  them  and  nearly  touched  it  behind, 
ever  faster  and  more  furious,  one  of  the  shrillest 
voices  from  time  to  time  throwing  in  an  unearthly 
yell,  and  the  whole  scene  getting  more  maniacal,  not 
to  say  diabolical,  every  instant. 

Now  glide  into  the  circle,  one,  two,  three,  four 
pale-faced  boys  and  young  men,  clad  in  a  long 
purple  or  gray  or  white  mantle,  with  a  hoop  at  the 
bottom,  and  commence  whirling  with  ever  increas- 
ing velocity  and  wonderful  endurance,  (I  counted 
over  a  thousand  evolutions  of  one  little  fellow  not 
more  than  ten  years  old,  and  did  n't  begin  till  he 
had    been    going    some    time).       Various    musical 


150  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

instruments  also  strike  up,  drums,  fifes,  flageolets, 
and  cymbals,  and  introduce  a  new  element  into 
the  mass  of  discordant  sound,  yet  serving  to  give 
it  a  sort  of  harmony  and  cadence.  And  so  the 
thing  goes  on  an  hour  and  a  half,  two  hours,  I 
don't  know  but  three  hours,  one  of  the  leaders 
going  round  inside  the  circle  to  encourage  and 
direct  their  movements,  the  whirlers  occasionally 
relieving  one  another,  the  voices  of  the  howlers 
growing  hoarser,  and  the  perspiration  streaming 
from  their  foreheads,  things  verging  towards  a  crisis, 
and  the  thing  ends  rather  unceremoniously,  brings 
up  with  a  sort  of  a  jerk,  all  stopping  at  once,  save 
one  poor  fellow  who  don't  seem  to  have  any  brakes 
to  put  on,  and  continues  bobbing  up  and  down  till 
he  falls  in  a  fit,  which  is  considered  as  the  highest 
attainable  state  of  devotion,  and  peculiarly  accept- 
able to  God.  The  rest,  embracing  their  leader  and 
each  other  all  round,  resume  their  garments  and  ad- 
journ to  another  cup  of  coffee  and  chibouk,  and  we 
retire  to  our  hotel.  Such  is  the  choicest  worship  of 
the  most  holy  of  the  Mussulmen. 


EXPERIENCES  IX  FOREIGN  PARTS.       151 


CHAPTER    XXXV. 

« 

ALEXANDRIA  ^0   JERUSALEM. 

My  DEAR  Reader,  —  Did  you  ever  wait  a  week 
in  the  stupid  Egyptian  town  of  Alexandria  for  a 
miserable  French  steamer,  which  was  behind  her 
time,  and  then  when  at  last  she  did  appear,  find 
the  machinery  out  of  order  and  be  obliged  to  stop 
a  few  days  more  in  a  hotel  where  you  are  bitten  by 
alternate  swarms  of  mosquitoes  and  fleas,  besides 
being  bled  by  the  landlord  to  the  tune  of  three 
dollars  a  day  and  no  "roast  beef?"  If  so  you  can 
perhaps  appreciate  the  feelings  of  our  party  when 
we  went  on  board  and  found  ourselves  "  out  of  the 
frying-pan  into  the  fire,"  alternating  between  a  dirty, 
dark,  ill-flavored,  flea-y  cabin  and  a  sooty  deck  cum- 
bered with  a  crowd  of  ill-flavored  and  ill-favored 
Arabs  and  negroes  covered  with  fleas,  and  not  half 
covered  wdth  any  thing  else.  Travelling,  in  the  East 
should  be  most  carefully  eschewed  by  every  thin- 
skinned  individual  who  is  endowed  with  the  sense 


152  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

of  smell.  These  were  the  only  circumstances  in 
which  I  ever  really  longed  for  a  severe  attack  of 
sea-sickness  as  the  least  of  two  evils.  But  alas ! 
that  happy  relief  was  denied  me,  and  I  continued 
miserably  well  the  whole  two  days  of  our  trip  to 
Jaffa. 

This  little  doll  of  a  city  sits  up  very  erect  on  a 
bit  of  a  promontory,  and  really  presents  quite  a 
bold  front  to  the  boisterous  old  Mediterranean,  who 
dashes  his  impudent  waves  over  her  walls,  and  will 
not  allow  the  steamers  to  land  their  passengers  more 
than  two  times  out  of  three.  Our  star  was  in  the 
ascendant,  however,  and  we  all  reached  the  shore  in 
safety,  including  one  or  two  Jerusalem  passengers 
who  had  been  vibrating  several  passages  between 
Beyrout  and  Alexandria.  But  we  found  several 
poor  fellows  on  shore  who  had  been  waiting  three 
weeks  in  Joppa  in  no  very  amiable  frame  of  mind, 
and  then  again  the  steamer  that  came  the  week  after 
ours,  by  way  of  a  pleasant  variety,  just  landed  her 
passengers,  but,  the  wind  rising  suddenly,  carried  all 
their  baggage  on  to  Beyrout. 

After  paying  our  respects  to  the  United  States 
consul,  who  can't  speak  a  word  of  English  but 
is  a  capital  consul  notwithstanding,  and  to  the 
American  missionaries,  who  received  us  with  great 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  153 

kindness  and  hospitality,  we  made  our  preparations 
to  depart  at  one,  P.  M.,  for  Jerusalem,  thirty-five  miles 
distant.  And  now  came  our  first  experience  of 
genuine  Oriental  travelling,  for  in  Egypt  we  had 
found  all  the  comforts  of  an  excellent  railway,  had 
been  borne  on  the  wings  of  steam  up  within  sight 
of  the  pyramids,  for  all  the  world  as  if  we  were 
travelling  in  Yankee  land  except  that  we  felt  our- 
selves much  safer.  But  here  we  engaged  a  Drag- 
oman, who  interpreted  between  us  and  our  consul, 
who  sent  his  Janizary,  who  brought  us  a  venerable, 
gray-haired  muleteer,  who  assembled  before  our  door 
an  assortment  of  rusty  horses,  spiteful  mules,  and 
ragired  donkeys,  from  which  we  selected  the  best- 
looking,  (except  your  humble  servant  who  acted  on 
a  directly  contrary  principle  and  in  the  end  proved 
to  be  the  best*  mounted  of  the  crowd,)  and  started 
oft'  at  every  pace  from  a  limp  to  a  gallop,  through 
the  beautiful  groves  of  orange  and  lemon  trees,  bend- 
ing under  their  burden  of  luscious  fruit,  the  peach, 
cherry,  almond,  and  pomegranate  in  richest  fragrance 
of  blossom,  and  the  earth  all  carpeted  with  the 
sweetest  of  flowers.  A  ride  of  three  hours  over 
the  fertile  vale  of  Sharon  brought  us  to  Ramleh, 
where  we  rested  two  hours  at  the  house  of  the 
American  consul,  who  can  speak  neither  English, 


154  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

French,  German,  nor  Italian,  and  therefore  our  con- 
versation with  him  was  carried  on  principally  by- 
means  of  pipes  and  coffee  and  a  very  tolerable  sup- 
per of  rice  and  chickens. 

We  set  out  again  for  Jerusalem  at  eight,  P.  M., 
having  exchanged  with  our  host  a  profusion  of 
polite  speeches,  of  which  neither  party  understood 
the  other's,  but  which  doubtless  answered  the  pur- 
pose just  as  well.  Our  path  at  first  led  over  the 
same  lovely  plain  enamelled  with  flowers,  (what  a 
pity  that  my  "  roses  of  Sharon  "  all  proved,  upon  a 
closer  inspection,  to  be  poppies!)  but  after  a  little, 
as  we  began  to  ascend  the  mountain,  came  a  road 
over  which  you  would  rather  ride  one  mile  than  two. 
Sometimes  a  smooth,  slippery  path  cut  and  worn 
deep  into  the  limestone  rock ;  sometimes  a  moun- 
tain  gully,  full  of  large,  round  stones,  washed  clean 
from  all  soil  which  could  fill  up  the  crevices  and 
•relieve  the  steps  of  the  poor  horses ;  sometimes  rude 
stairs  cut  in  the  face  of  the  mountain  and  some- 
times places  where  none  of  these  things  were  prac- 
ticable, and  our  animals  must  scramble  up  by  their 
own  unaided  genius  without  artificial  helps,  and  with 
unerring  step  those  little  Syrian  steeds  bore  us 
over  places  that  would  give  an  American  horse 
the    nightmare   to  dream    about.     A  lively  French 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PART,?.  155 

lady  in  Jerusalem  declared  to  me  that  she  could  ride 
her  little  gray  charger  up  the  side  of  any  six  story 
house  in  Paris  or  London.  Now  I  would  n't  vouch 
for  the  strict  literal  truth  of  this  statoment,  but  it 
wouldn't  frighten  me  much  to  see  her  equestrianizing 
on  the  roof  of  any  house  that  is  n't  inclined  more 
than  forty-five  degrees. 

We  arrived  at  the  Jaffa  gate  of  the  Holy  City  at 
six  o'clock  in  the  morning,  and  never  were  poor  pil- 
grims more  glad  to  reach  their  destination,  for  we  had 
scarcely  snatched  a  moment's  sleep  in  the  two  pre- 
vious nights  on  that  delectable  steamer,  and  would 
have  broken  our  necks  the  moment  we  attempted 
such  a  thing  on  horseback,  amidst  the  ravines  and 
rocks  which  we  passed  over  and  through  and  around 
and  under  and  up  and  down,  during  that  long,  long 
ten  hours  ride  by  moonlight  from  Ramleii  to  Jerusa- 
lem. But  now  our  pilgrimage  was  accomplished. 
Fatigue  and  desire  to  sleep  were  forgotten  in  the  joy 
of  entering  the  gates  of  Zion. 


156  MR.   DUNN   BROAYNE'S 


CHAPTER    XXXVI. 

THE   HOLY   CITY. 

Our  first  approach  to  Jerusalem  was  in  the  dead 
silence  that  precedes  the  dawn;  in  the  gray  morning 
twilight  which  makes  things  look  dim  and  mysteri- 
ous and  supernaturally  large ;  and  very  stately  and 
imposing  was  our  view  of  the  walls,  battlements,  tow- 
ers, and  domes  of  the  old  city,  as  we  reached  the 
heights  on  the  North-west,  and  drew  near  the  Jaffa 
gate.  But  the  most  beautiful  view  was  when  we 
returned  from  the  Jordan,  (also  in  the  night,)  and 
approached  from  the  East  over  the  Mount  of  Olives 
at  two  o'clock  in  the  morning,  by  a  most  glorious 
moonlight.  I  shall  never  forget  that  scene.  In  and 
about  Jerusalem  are  many  things  that  need  the  sil- 
vering of  the  moonbeams.  Then  the  rough,  craggy 
hills  were  softened  and  lighted  up  with  a  gentle 
glory.  The  frightful  ravines  were  filled  with  fanci- 
ful shadows ;  the  old  rusty  domes  of  the  city  glis- 
tened   in   silver;  the   crumbling   towers   stood   out 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  157 

sharp  and  fresh  as  of  newly  cut  stone  ;  all  the  rough 
places  were  made  smooth ;  all  deficiencies  were  cov- 
ered up;  the  uiisiglitly  transformed  into  loveliness, 
and  what  was  before  beautiful  made  absolutely  glo- 
rious. But  seen  in  tiie  daytime,  looked  upon  in  a 
matter  of  fact  kind  of  way,  without  regard  to  the 
glorious  and  sacred  associations  connected  with  it, 
(if  indeed  such  a  thing  be  possible,)  Jerusalem 
appears  much  as  I  had  expected.  T  was  sure  I  had 
seen  it  often  before ;  that  uneven,  irregular,  decaying 
old  city,  mourning  over  her  desolations,  sitting  soli- 
tary amidst  the  ruins  of  her  former  glory.  The  hills 
about  the  city  are  even  more  rocky  and  barren  than 
they  are  described ;  the  valleys  are  exceedingly  pre- 
cipitous, deep,  abysmal ;  and  the  whole  region  is 
full  of  caverns,  grottos,  tombs,  all  sorts  of  natural  fis- 
sures, and  excavations  by  the  hand  of  man.  The 
valley  of  the  brook  Kedron,  (which  is  no  brook  at  all,) 
contains  some  green  spots,  about  Gethsernane  are 
some  ancient  olive  trees,  the  Mount  of  Olives  has  a 
few  fruit-trees  and  is  cultivated  in  spots,  the  hills  to 
the  southward  toward  Bethlehem  are  green  and  toler- 
ably fertile,  but  generally  the  whole  region  around  is 
one  mass  of  rocks,  rough,  craggy,  terrible  rocks,  with- 
out a  tree  or  a  shrub. 

The  town  itself,  which  is   supposed   to   contain 


158  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

nearly  twenty  thousand  inhabitants,  is  a  filthy, 
muddy.  Oriental  town,  full  of  dogs  and  vermin,  and 
intolerable  smells,  habitable  by  decent  people  only  on 
Mt.  Zion  and  near  the  Jaffa  gate.  The  so-called 
sacred  places  have  been  described  a  thousand  times, 
and  even  if  they  had  not  been,  are  not  worth  the 
trouble,  as  no  one  now  believes  in  their  genuineness. 
In  Gethsemane  one  feels  sure  that  he  is  at  least  near 
the  place  where  our  Saviour  agonized  in  the  Garden, 
in  going  up  the  Mount  of  Olives  we  doubtless  fol- 
lowed the  path  so  often  trodden  by  the  feet  of  Jesus 
and  his  disciples,  but  you  are  thankful  to  know  that 
Calvary  and  the  Holy  Sepulchre  could  not  possibly 
have  been  where  the  Greeks  and  Catholics  locate 
them,  and  quarrel  so  fiercely  about  their  possession 
that  the  Turk  is  obliged  to  interfere  as  a  peacemaker 
in  these  Christian  brawls.  Without  speaking  then  of 
the  "  Holy  Places"  about  Jerusalem,  I  will  only  give 
you  a  bit  of  an  account  of  our  visit  to  the  mosk 
Omar,  the  sacred  enclosure  carefully  guarded  so 
many  centuries  against  the  intrusion  of  any  Christian 
foot,  but  which  of  late  years  has  been  on  several  oc- 
casions opened  for  the  admission  of  parties  of  Euro- 
peans, usually  the  train  of  some  prince,  and  will  soon, 
in  all  probability,  become  comparatively  easy  of  ac- 
cess to  the  public. 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.       159 

Having  our  consul  for  Egypt  and  the  brother  of 
the  United  States  ambassador  at  Constantinople 
with  us,  it  seemed  a  favorable  opportunity  to  intro- 
duce an  American  party,  and  finally,  after  many  vex- 
atious delays  and  excuses,  the  reciuired  firman  was 
obtained,  allowing  us,  on  the  payment  of  a  pound 
sterling  each,  to  see  all  that  is  to  be  seen  on  the  site 
of  the  old  temple.  The  Dervishes  and  other  fanatir 
cal  Moslems,  who  guard  the  mosk  and  amuse  them- 
selves by  throwing  stones  at  any  infidel  dogs  who 
dare  to  approach,  having  been  removed  and  shut  up,, 
and  a  guard  of  thirty  soldiers  accompanying  us,  we 
entered  and  spent  an  hour  and  a  half  in  examining 
the  raosks  Omar  and  El  Aksa  which,  with  a  large 
enclosed  space,  occupy  INIt.  Moriah.  The  Mosk 
Omar,  which  is  generally  supposed  to  stand  on  the 
site  of  Solomon's  temple,  is  an  octagon  with  a  huge 
dome,  covered  all  over  with  glazed  tiles,  painted  blue 
and  green  like  China  ware,  which  coating  has  broken 
and  crumbled  away  in  many  places,  giving  a  very 
ancient  look  to  the  building,  which  is  natural  enough, 
for  it  is  twelve  hundred  years  old.  There  are  four 
entrances,  and  the  interior  has  two  concentric  circles 
of  columns,  forming  two  circular  aisles,  and  a  space 
perhaps  forty  feet  in  diameter  within  the  inner  col- 
umns that  support  the  dome,  which  is  all  occupied 


160  MR.    DUNN   BROWNE'S 

with  the  sacred  stone  that  was  suspended  in  the  air 
at  Mohammed's  command,  as  it  was  accompanying 
him  on  his  ascension  to  heaven.  On  this  rock,  the 
Moslems  say,  was  the  Holy  of  Holies  of  the  ancient 
temple,  and  under  it  is  a.  chamber  excavated  in  the 
natural  rock  where  are  the  places  of  prayer  of  Mo- 
hammed, Christ,  Moses,  Elijah,  and  Solomon.  The 
hole  in  the  top  of  the  rock  is  shown,  through  which 
the  prophet  ascended.  The  stone  remained  hanging 
in  the  air,  by  his  command,  without  any  visible  sup- 
port, for  many  centuries,  but  at  last  to  relieve  the 
fears  of  the  faithful,  especially  the  females,  who 
dared  not  go  under  it,  the  present  walls  and  pillars, 
(which  really  have  nothing  to  do  with  supporting  it,) 
were  placed  beneath. 

The  floor  of  the  mosk  is  of  beautiful  marble,  and 
the  sides  are  lined  with  marbles  ;  the  pillars  are  of 
the  Corinthian  order,  of  Porphyry  and  Verd  Antique. 
There  are  several  beautiful  painted  windows  in  the. 
dome,  and  some  rich  mosaics  and  gilding.  The 
.Mosk  El  Aksa  has  the  form  of  a  cross  like  a  church, 
as  indeed  it  was,  is  of  vast  size,  but  not  especially 
beautiful.  Below  are  vaults  and  galleries  which 
probably  formed  one  of  the  entrances  to  Solomon's 
temple,  and  contain  many  of  the  vast  bevelled  stones 
and  two  or  three  of  the  massive  pillars  of  its  original 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  IGl 

construction,  about  three  thousand  years  old.  There 
are  fine  remains,  also,  of  the  ancient  "  Beautiful 
Ciate,"  on  the  east  side  of  the  temple  inclosure,  and 
the  immense  reservoirs  of  water  which  undermine 
the  whole  hill  are  still  full  and  of  great  interest,  but 
we  could  only  peep  down  through  the  openings  and 
make  their  vaults  resound  with  the  thundering 
echoes  of  our  voices.  The  curb-stones  of  these  reser- 
voirs are  worn  all  round  their  inner  surface,  to  the 
depth  of  six  or  eight  inches,  by  the  friction  of  the 
well  ropes. 

My  boots  having  been  stolen  by  some  of  the  faith- 
ful, while  I  was  within  the  mosque,  I  remain  yours, 
in  a  pair  of  Turkish  slippers. 

11 


162  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 


CHAPTER   XXXVII. 

MARE    ASPHALTICUM. 

On  a  fine  February  morning  in  the  year  1856, 
might  have  been  seen,  issuing  from  the  western  gate 
of  Jerusalem,  and  winding  along  over  the  rocky  but 
verdant  hills  towards  Bethlehem,  two  solitary  horse- 
men, oh  no,  I  beg  Mr.  James's  pardon,  a  cavalcade  of 
sixteen  sunburned,  weather-beaten  travellers,  clad 
in  a  combination  of  all  the  various  costumes  of  the 
countries  they  had  visited  ;  mounted  upon  fifteen 
ugly,  rough-coated,  awkwardly-saddled,  shovel-stir- 
ruped,  Syrian  horses  and  one  abstracted,  intro- 
spective, metaphysical  donkey  ;  accompanied  by  the 
usual  Oriental  suite  of  dragomen,  muleteers,  servants, 
and  Bedouin  guards.  Had  any  curious  observer 
seen  the  above-mentioned  interesting  company  and 
inquired  (in  a  polite  and  respectful  manner)  respect- 
ing their  destination,  he  would  have  been  told  in 
Arabic,  Armenian,  French,  Italian,  or  English,  accord- 
ing to  his  selection  of  an  informant,  that  they  were 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  1G3 

a  party  of  Yankees,  Canadians,  Scotch,  etc.  etc.,  go- 
ing to  Jericho,  by  way  of  Bethlehem,  the  Dead  Sea; 
and  the  Jordan.  Tlmnkful  and  glad  for  the  bright 
morning  sun,  instead  of  the  rain  we  had  the  previous 
evening  anticipated,  on  we  go,  cheerfully  prancing 
and  galloping  and  laughing  and  chatting,  amidst  the 
singing  of  birds,  through  the  fields  of  grain,  over 
the  stones,  trampling  underfoot  the  pretty  flowers, 
throwing  into  the  air  clouds  of  dust  with  the  hoofs 
of  our  mettlesome  steeds,  and  devouring  the  distance 
at  the  rate  of  six  miles  an  hour  at  the  very  least. 

We  pass  on  the  left  the  identical  tree,  (possibly 
two  hundred  years  old,)  on  which  Judas  hanged 
himself,  then  on  the  right  a  lovely  valley  and  sloping 
ascent  covered  with  olives,  and  after  a  while  just  to 
the  right  of  our  path  a  ])lain  white  building,  the 
tomb  of  Rachel ;  then,  the  road  getting  very  rough 
and  rocky,  at  the  end  of  two  hours  we  reach  the 
famous  pools  of  Solomon,  three  in  number,  irregu- 
larly shaped,  from  thirty  to  sixty  feet  deep,  of  vast 
size,  one  above  another  in  the  narrow  valley,  in  tol- 
erably good  repair,  but  now  empty.  The  old  aque- 
duct still  conveys  a  small  stream  of  water  from  a 
cool  fountain  just  above  the  pools,  quite  to  Jerusa- 
lem, I  think.  Following  the  course  of  this  aqueduct 
eastward,  we  soon  look  down  upon  the  nairrow  rib- 


164  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

bon  of  meadow,  like  a  stream  of  living  verdure  flow- 
ing between  the  barren  limestone  hills,  or  like  a  huge 
green  serpent  winding  down  the  valley,  which  was 
purchased  a  few  years  since  by  some  Americans  for 
the  purpose  of  testing  the  agricultural  capabilities  of 
the  country.  The  experiment  has  proved,  I  believe, 
rather  a  failure ;  but  a  prettier  little  farm  could  n't 
be  found  in  all  Palestine  and  a  long  journey  besides. 
Chancing  to  pour  into  the  ear  of  my  friend  "  Wil- 
liam, the  Conqueror,"  some  rather  poetical  remarks 
upon  the  loveliness  of  this  verdant  valley,  that 
enthusiastic  monarch  turned  his  bland  countenance 
upon  the  charming  scene  for  a  moment,  and  re- 
marked, in  his  inimitable  way,  "  Yes,  it  is  rather 
green." 

In  about  three  quarters  of  an  hour,  we  climbed  a 
high  hill,  (so  steep  that  one  of  our  horses  fell  over 
backwards,  rider,  saddle,  and  all,)  into  Bethlehem, 
where  we  were  hospitably  entertained  at  the  con- 
vent, and  shown  the  manger  (of  stone)  where  the 
infant  Saviour  was  laid,  in  a  hewn  grotto  deep 
under  the  ground,  and  the  precise  spot  where  he  was 
born  marked  by  a  silver  star,  directly  over  which 
stood  "  the  Star  in  the  East."  Around  the  star  is  a 
Latin  inscription,  "  Here  was  born  Jesus  Christ  of  the 
Virgin  Mary,"  and  many  silver  lamps  are  constantly 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  165 

burning  both  in  this  place  and  over  the  manger,  and 
two  or  three  exquisite  little  pictures  by  Murillo  are 
also  to  be  seen.  The  church  and  adjoining  build- 
ings are  so  divided  up  and  partitioned  off  to  keep 
asunder  the  belligerent  Greeks  and  Catholics,  as  to 
spoil  all  the  harmony  of  proportion  and  beauty  of 
architecture. 

Three  hours  more  eastward  bring  us  to  the  strange 
old  Greek  convent  of  San  Saba,  built  into  and  hewn 
out  of  the  rocky  side  of  a  tremendous  gorge  five  or 
six  hundred  feet  in  depth,  which  is  a  continuation  of 
the  valley  of  Jehosliaphat  down  to  the  Dead  Sea. 
As  we  approached  from  the  west  down  the  hill, 
nothing  but  two  solitary  towers,  perhaps  thirty  rods 
apart,  were  visible.  After  knocking  a  while  at  a 
gate  near  the  foot  of  one  of  them,  a  basket  was  let 
down  from  an  upper  window,  and  our  letters  of  rec- 
ommendation from  Jerusalem  drawn  up  and  exam- 
ined, whereupon  we  were  admitted  and  cordially 
greeted  by  a  brown  monk  with  a  rope  about  his 
waist,  and,  dismounting,  we  followed  him  down 
flights  of  steps,  through  strong  doors  and  curious 
passages  cut  in  the  rock,  down  more  flights  of  stairs, 
ever  down,  down,  down,  till  we  thought  the  bottom 
of  the  old  building  had  fallen  out,  and  ourselves 
were   destined   to   become    an    infinite    descending 


166  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

series,  bnt  we  obtained  soundings  at  last,  and  an- 
chored in  safety  in  a  large  apartment  surrounded  by 
a  sort  of  divan,  on  which  we  slept  such  a  sleep  as 
only  travellers  on  horseback  over  stony  mountains 
can  enjoy. 

In  the  morning  we  made  an  exploration  of  the 
convent,  saw  forty  thousand  skulls  of  hermits  who 
have  died,  within  the  last  one  or  two  thousand  years, 
in  the  rock-hewn  cells  of  this  vicinity,  and  resumed 
our  journey  over  the  conical,  volcanic  looking  hills 
.which  surround  the  Dead  Sea.  The  country  is,  to 
be  sure,  rather  desolate,  but  by  no  means  the  fright- 
ful wilderness  I  had  anticipated.  The  scenery  is 
very  soft  and  beautiful,  the  hills  all  curves  and  no 
angles,  smooth  and  covered  with  a  thin  verdure 
which  thousands  of  goats  are  cropping.  The  sea 
seemed  but  a  few  steps  distant,  yet  we  have  been 
four  long  hours  in  reaching  it,  and  I  hope  never  to 
have  so  much  down  hill  travelling  again.  It  makes 
one  feel  mean  to  have  such  depths  to  descend  into. 

Having  read  much  of  the  disagreeable  effects  of 
bathing  in  the  Dead  Sea,  we  now  proceed  at  once 
to  make  trial  of  the  same,  and  as  this  chapter  is 
growing  considerably  long,  perhaps  you  may  as  well 
leave  us  for  the  present,  disporting  ourselves  in  these 
clear,  buoyant  waters,  like  a  school  of  porpoises  let 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  167 

out  to  play,  in  a  short  recess  from  their  severe  nauti- 
cal studies.  You  need  not  fear  for  our  safety,  as 
none  of  our  party  have  sufficient  specific  gravity  to 
be  able  to  drown  themselves  in  these  anti-suicidal 
waters,  which  are  called,  so  improperly,  the  Dead 
Sea.  Yours,  bituminously. 


168  MR.  DUNN  BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER    XXXVIII. 

DOES   NOT   "  TARRY   AT  JERICHO." 

We  all  enjoyed  our  bath  wonderfully,  and  experi- 
enced none  of  those  disagreeable  consequences  of 
which  so  many  travellers  have  spoken,  except  indeed 
an  incrustation  of  salt  over  our  faces,  and  a  slight 
oily  sensation  of  the  skin,  an  impression  as  if  we 
were  saturated  with  grease  and  would  burn  if  lighted. 
(My  friend  Isham,  who  is  standing  by  my  side,  sug- 
gests that  there  is  a  little  exaggeration  about  that 
last  remark.  Very  well,  my  dear  fellow,  I  will  not 
insist  that  7/ow  would  become  "  a  burning  and  shining 
light"  even  after  a  dozen  baths  in  the  Dead  Sea. 
But  what  would  become  of  all  the  poetry  of  the 
world  if  a  body  couldn't  color  his  descriptions  a  bit? 
So  don't  be  interrupting  me  any  more,  please,  it 
makes  such  long  parentheses.)  The  wonderful  buoy- 
ancy of  the  water  made  naanifest  such  a  compara- 
tive lightness  of  our  bodies  and  such  an  exhilarating 
lightness  of  spirits  too,  that  we  indulged  in  a  thou- 


•  EXPERIENCES  IX  EOREIGN  PARTS.       169 

sand  amusing  gambols  such  as  you  would  scarcely 
expect,  perhaps,  from  the  dignified  personages  to 
whom  you  have  recently  been  introduced.  You  can 
take  any  sort  of  position  you  choose,  stand,  sit,  lie  on 
your  back,  fold  your  arms  and  go  to  sleep,  read,  eat 
your  lunch,  or  even  write  a  letter,  I  verily  believe,  re- 
clining oil  those  luxurious  cushions  of  waves.  But 
woe  be  to  you  if  any  portion  of  your  cuticle  is  bro- 
ken or  removed,  and  those  briny  drops  gaining  ad- 
mittance to  your  eyes,  are  sure  to  return  with  other 
briny  drops  as  usury  following  them.  The  taste  of 
the  water  is  a  combination  and  concentration  of 
whatever  is  unpleasant  to  the  palate. 

Having  gone  through  a  variety  of  striking  tableaux 
and  satisfied  our  philosophical  curiosity  in  reference 
to  this  wondrous  lake,  we  remounted,  and  putting 
our  steeds  upon  their  mettle,  (they  haye  a  deal 
more  spirit  than  their  looks  indicate  and  are  capital 
on  a  gallop,)  wc  made  in  forty  minutes  the  two 
hours'  ride  over  the  salt  plain  to  the  Ford  of  the  Jor- 
dan. It  is  a  salt  plain  indeed.  In  many  places  you 
can  gather  it  in  handfuls,  almost  pure.  Of  course 
nothing  grows  in  this  region.  It  is  much  more  des- 
olate and  apparently  accursed  than  the  country  west 
of  the  sea.  The  Jordan  itself  is  not  visible  till  you 
come  to  its  very  shores,  and  doesn't  present  any  very 


170  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

inviting  appearance  even  then,  being   a   dreadfully 
muddy,  unpieturesque    stream,  rushing   along  at  a 
tremendous  rate  between  two  banks,  about  twenty 
yards  asunder,  lined  with  dirty  willows ;    in    short, 
though    I    had    made    up    my    mind    to    be    disap- 
pointed   in    the    Jordan,    I   was  much    more  disap- 
pointed than  I  expected.     Our  party  of  course  pro- 
ceeded at  once  to  rinse  off  the  slime  of  the  Dead  Sea 
by  a  bath  in  the  sacred  stream.     Those  who  were 
swimmers,  headed  by  the  Professor,  in    spectacles, 
passed  very  readily  over  to  "the  other  side  Jordan," 
by  going  a  little  up  stream  where   the  water   was 
deeper  and  not  quite  so  swift,  but  your  humble  ser- 
vant, attempting  to  wade  across  at  the  Ford  where 
the  depth  is  not  much  over  four  feet,  found  the  cur- 
rent so  rapid  that  it  lifted  him  up  bodily,  (the  gravity 
of  his  body  not  being  so  great  as  that  of  his  disposi- 
tion,) and  would  have  borne  him  down  to  be  pre- 
served in  asphaltum  in  the  Dead  Sea  but  for   the 
powerful  arm  of  a  tall  Bedouin  Arab  Shekh,  who 
was  making  the  passage  by  his  side,  and  who  was 
satisfied  with  the  very  reasonable  sum  of  four  pias- 
tres for  saving  to  the  world  the  author  of  this  verita- 
ble history. 

Having  thoroughly  tested  the  eflfect  of  the  water 
externally,  we  proceeded  to  make  an  internal  appli- 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  171 

cation  in  connection  with  our  lunch,  and  really  for  a 
mixture  of  clay,  limestone  and  water,  it  wasn't  very 
bad  to  take.  Taking  one  last  farewell  look  of  the 
old  Jewish  river,  and  carrying  u[)  with  ns  for  a  me- 
morial, like  the  Israelites,  a  few  stones  from  its  bed, 
(though  not  quite  so  large  pebbles  as  they  took,)  and 
also  an  assortment  of  ugly  canes  from  the  willow 
trees  above  referred  to,  we  turned  our  faces  again 
westward,  and  in  two  hours  arrived  at  the  site  of  an- 
cient Jericho,  having  sufl'ered  considerably  from  the 
intense  heat  in  our  journey  across  the  plain,  although 
it  was  the  23d  of  February  and  in  latitude  some- 
where about  that  of  the  city  of  Washington.  It 
must  be  perfectly  intolerable  in  summer.  In  this 
valley  we  thought  we  could  see  the  snow-crowned 
summit  of  Hermon  away  north  of  the  Sea  of  Gali- 
lee, eighty  or  ninety  miles  distant.  Being  utterly 
disgusted  with  Jericho,  and  our  beards  having  al- 
ready a  tolerable  growth,  we  resolved  not  to  tarry, 
but  ordered  out  our  horses  and  started  at  seven 
and  a  half  P.  M.  in  a  ij:lorious  moonlight  for  Jerusa- 
lem,  which  is  six  or  seven  hours  distant,  and  those 
same  tough  little  horses  who  had  carried  us  since 
seven  in  the  morning,  and  engaged  in  several  sharp 
little  races  in  the  bargain,  bore  us  unflaggingly 
through  that  long  night  ride,  over  roads,  too,  where 


172  MR.   DUNN  BROWNE'S 

an  American  horse  would  bring  up  dead  lame  in  two 
hours.  I  think  we  were  on  horseback  fifteen  hours 
out  of  that  twenty-four.  The  scenery  in  this  region, 
(the  hill  country  towards  Jerusalem,)  is  extremely 
wild,  savage,  and  stern,  and  we  became  as  tired  of 
riding  up  hill  before  we  reached  the  Mount  of  Olives 
as  we  had  been  the  day  previous  of  descending. 
What  difficult  creatures  we  are  to  satisfy,  indeed ! 

We  passed,  during  the  night,  several  picturesque 
Bedouin  encampments.  They  would  have  proved 
something  more  than  picturesque  to  us,  doubtless, 
if  we  hadn't  mustered  so  strong  a  force,  for  these 
tall,  grim  fellows  are  equally  adepts  at  both  their 
trades  of  shepherd  and  robber,  and  with  their  sheep- 
skins over  their  shoulders,  suggested  to  our  minds 
very  readily  the  idea  of  "  wolves  in  sheep's  clothing." 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN   PARTS.  173 


CHAPTER    XXXIX. 

SAMARIA   AND    GALILEE. 

After  one  has  seen  all  that  is  of  interest  above 
ground,  in  and  about  Jerusalem,  there  still  remains 
to  him  who  is  fond  of  burrowing,  at  least  a  year's 
subterranean  explorations  in  the  vicinity.  All  the 
rocky  hills  about  the  city  are  full  of  excavations,  some- 
times connecting  with  one  another,  tomb  after  tomb, 
for  fifteen  hundred  feet  underground.  Mount  Moriah 
is  all  undermined  with  a  series  of  stupendous  reser- 
voirs, which  have  not  yet  been  fully  explored,  and  be- 
neath the  whole  city  are  vast  quarries,  where  you  may 
w^ander  miles  and  miles  ere  you  begin  to  retrace  your 
steps,  where  are  caves  and  grottos,  fountains,  streams 
of  running  water,  etc.  The  only  entrance  to  this 
last  described  series  of  quarries,  is  by  a  little  hole  in 
the  wall  just  east  of  the  Damascus  gate,  outside  the 
city,  into  which  a  slender  man  can  barely  crawl,  as 
the  Professor  and  myself  can  testify  from  actual  ex- 
perience.    "We  wriggled  in  through  this  muddy  aper- 


174  MR.    DUNN   BROWXE'S 

ture,  (it  was  a  rainy  day,)  a  distance  of  eight  feet, 
and  then  climbed  down  a  wall  six  feet,  head  fore- 
most, at  least  I  did,  but  the  Professor  profiting  by  my 
experience,  entered  in  the  reverse  order,  with  eminent 
success,  and  we  proceeded  to  explore,  with  no  guide 
but  our  own  sagacity,  to  the  extent  of  our  six  inches 
of  spermaceti.  .  .  . 

We  departed  from  the  Holy  City  as  we  entered  it, 
in  the  gray  light  of  the  early  morning,  and  as  we 
caught  our  last  glimpse  from  the  distant  northern  hills, 
the  sun  had  just  broken  forth  over  the  top  of  Olivet, 
and  was  gilding  with  a  halo  of  glory,  those  venerable 
domes  and  battlements,  covering  them  with  beauty 
and  brightness  in  our  remembrance,  as  if  we  had 
caught  a  passing  glimpse  of  the  heavenly  Jerusalem, 
rejoicing  in  the  beams  of  the  great  Sun  of  Righteous- 
ness himself.  And  thus  we  bade  adieu  to  the  Holy 
City,  and  passed  on  by  the  lofty  "  Nebi  Samwill " 
on  the  left,  surrounded  by  beautiful  slopes  covered 
with  olives,  and  then  on  our  right  the  ruins  of  Bethel, 
rode  a  half  hour  in  a  heavy  shower  of  rain,  dried  our- 
selves in  the  bright  sun  which  succeeded  it,  stopped 
to  lunch  in  a  pretty  green  valley  by  the  side  of  a 
spring,  sitting  on  the  first  bit  of  real  turf  that  I  have 
seen  in  Syria,  (we  took  the  precaution  to  spread  our 
blankets  over  it  before  sitting  down  however,)  then 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  175 

mounting  again  our  untiring  steeds,  after  a  long  day 
of  eleven  hours  in  the  saddle,  we  found  welcome  rest 
at  lust  in  the  pleasant  town  of  Nablous,  the  ancient 
Siicchem,  a  garden-surrounded  little  city  of  twelve 
thousand  inhabitants,  snugly  ensconced  in  the  nar- 
row valley  which  keeps  asunder  the  grim,  stony,  bel- 
ligerent-looking mountains  Ebal  and  Gerizim, 

At  the  entrance  of  this  valley  we  turned  a  little  off 
our  road  through  a  ploughed  field  to  see  Jacob's  well, 
but  did  n't  see  it,  as  the  proprietor  of  those  grounds, 
in  order  to  check  the  curiosity  of  travellers,  has  bro- 
ken  in  the  roof  of  the  room  which  covered  the  well's 
mouth,  and  you  can't  get  the  slightest  glimpse  of  the 
water  or  any  thing  that  looks  like  a  well.  Perhaps 
you  can  imagine  with  what  revengeful  delight  we 
spread  out  our  company  of  horse  over  that  man's 
field,  and  took  pains  to  trample  down  his  young 
wheat.  I  should  make  it  a  point  always  to  ride  out 
to  that  well  if  I  were  going  past  every  day.  From 
Nablous  three  hours  in  the  bright  morning  sun,  over 
a  thick  carpet  of  variegated  flowers,  brought  us  up  to 
the  head  of  the  valley  to  ancient  Samaria,  absolutely 
the  finest  situation  for  a  city  that  I  have  seen  yet, 
but  occupied  at  present  by  a  set  of  ill-mannered 
\\Tetches  who  threw  stones  at  us  as  we  were  examin- 
ing the  ruins  of  an  ancient  church,  and  then  brought 


176  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

a  parcel  of  long  striped  guns  to  bear  upon  us,  merely 
because  we  drew  our  revolvers  and  threatened  to 
shoot  them  if  they  did  n't  take  their  departure.  Hav- 
ing compromised  this  slight  difficulty,  and  effected  a 
truce  with  the  barbarians  through  the  agency  of  our 
excellent  Michael,  the  prince  of  Dragomen,  if  I  may 
be  allowed  to  speak  electrically,  a  prime  conductor, 
we  proceeded  to  lunch  amidst  a  grove  of  marble  col- 
umns, (granite  though  upon  second  thought,)  whereof 
something  less  than  a  thousand  remain  standing  in 
witness  of  the  splendor  of  the  ancient  city,  and  then 
rode  over  several  rough,  uninteresting  hills,  and 
through  several  fertile  valleys,  catching  glimpses 
on  the  heights,  of  the  sea  and  of  snowy  Hermon,  till 
at  last  we  came  to  the  entrance  of  the  great  plain  of 
Esdraelon,  to  the  Arab  village  of  Janin,  a  place 
which  has  made  a  deep  impression  on  my  memory, 
as  the  scene  of  the  most  utterly  miserable  night  of  my 
experience.  The  "  miserable  night"  of  the  wretched 
Clarence  in  Richard  the  Third  could  n't  compare  with 
it  at  all,  because  his  was  capable  of  description  and 
mine  isn't,  and  his  was  a  dream,  while  mine  was 
quite  the  contrary,  and  besides,  a  guilty  conscience, 
(which  seemed  to  be  the  principal  source  of  his 
trouble,)  as  far  as  my  experience  goes,  is  nothing  to  a 
myriad  of  fleas.     We  were  eleven,  in  a  room  eight 


I 


EXPERIEXCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  177 

feet  by  ten,  which  was  full,  before  we  entered  it,  of 
vermin,  of  dirt,  of  stagnant  tobacco  smoke,  and  of  un- 
pleasant Arab  smells. 

The  journal  of  the  next  day,  (the  third  from  Jeru- 
salem,) if  there  were  time  to  write  it,  would  make 
mention  of  the  troop  of  gazelles  we  saw  bounding 
over  the  rolling  plain  of  Esdraelon,  would  spealc  in 
fitting  terms  of  the  oft  described  IVFount  Tabor, 
which  rises  in  lonely  beauty  just  to  the  left  of  our 
path  after  we  have  ascended  from  Esdraelon  between 
Gilboa  and  Little  Hermon,  would  enlarge  upon  the 
beauty  and  fertility  of  this  country  of  Galilee,  and  at 
last  go  into  perfect  raptures  as,  at  sunset,  we  stand 
on  the  brow  of  the  high  hill  which  overlooks  the  Sea 
of  Tiberias,  and  look  down  upon  that  fair,  sweet  lake, 
on  whose  borders  Jesus  loved  to  dwell,  and  whose 
waters  once  bore  up  his  steps.  'Twas  Saturday 
night,  and  slowly  and  quietly  we  descended  to  the 
little  town  of  Tiberias  to  spend  a  Sabbath,  for  once 
in  our  lives,  by  the  Sea  of  Galilee. 

12 


178  MR.  DUXX  browxe's 


CHAPTER   XL. 


OVER  LAND  TO  BEYROUT. 


The  Sea  of  Galilee  is  surrounded  by  smooth  green 
hills,  very  high  and  steep  on  the  north  and  south- 
west, sloping  gently  down  to  the  water's  edge  on  the 
north-east  and  north-west,  with  even  a  bit  of  plain  on 
the  west,  but  to  the  south-east,  the  ancient  country 
of  the  Gadarenes,  rises  abruptly  a  wall  of  chalk  cliffs 
six  hundred  feet  high,  like  the  shore  of  the  Dead  Sea 
itself.  Tiberias,  the  only  town  now  remaining  on  its 
shores,  is  a  city-like  village  surrounded  by  an  imposing 
wall,  (which  is,  however,  fast  falling  into  ruins,)  con- 
taining, I  should  think,  five  hundred,  but  according 
to  our  host,  fourteen  hundred,  inhabitants,  mostly 
Polish  and  Spanish  Jews,  very  dirty  but  learned ; 
indeed,  this  is  the  principal  seat  of  learning  among 
the  Jews,  and  every  third  man  you  meet  is  a  rabbi 
with  his  head  crammed  with  Talmudical  lore,  which 
he  imparts,  (for  a  consideration,)  to  the  youthfiil 
Hebrews,  who  resort  hither  from  various  quarters  of 
the  w^orld  to  complete  their  theological  education. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  179 

A  violent  storm  of  wind  and  rain  arose  Sunday 
afternoon,  so  that  \vc  saw  the  lake  not  only  in  its 
peaceful  calm,  but  also  when  the  waves  were  lashed 
into  fury.  I  looked  out  from  my  window,  and  could 
almost  see  the  scene  of  walking  on  the  water,  and 
our  Saviour  stretching  forth  his  hand  to  save  the 
trembling  Peter  from  the  watery  grave  into  which 
his  unbelief  was  sinking  him. 

Monday  morning,  after  taking  a  bath  in  the  pure 
waters  of  the  lake,  and  visiting  the  hot  springs  a 
little  below  Tiberias,  we  wound  our  way  up  the  hill 
again,  cast  one  last  lingering  look  at  the  lovely 
scene  below  us,  and  took  up  our  route  to  Nazareth, 
six  hours  distant.  But  scarcely  were  we  settled 
in  our  saddles  when  the  clouds  gathered  thick  and 
pitiless  over  our  defenceless  heads,  and  it  began 
first  to  drizzle,  then  to  rain,  and  then  to  pour  down 
U])on  us  in  torrents',  and  for  three  mortal  hours  did 
we  plod  along  in  that  driving,  drenching  rain,  find- 
ing no  mercy  from  the  clouds  above  and  no  shelter 
on  the  earth  beneath.  Your  humble  servant,  who 
had  caught  cold  the  evening  previous,  in  a  shower 
which  fell  upon  him  as  he  was  walking  up  towards 
Capernaum,  began  to  be  sick,  and  to  have  shooting 
pains  and  chills  and  gloomy  forebodings  of  a  Syrian 
fever,  and  fell  gradually  behind  the  rest  of  the  party. 


ISO  MR.    DUNN   BROAYNE'S 

then  behind  the  muleteers  and  the  baggage,  till  he 
was  left  alone,  a  couple  of  miles  in  the  rear,  just 
able  to  keep  in  the  saddle,  fast  losing  his  interest  in 
things  generally,  and  ready  to  surrender  without  a 
struggle  to  the  first  Bedouin  who  should  accost  him 
with  the  Arabic  for  "  your  money  or  your  life."  In 
this  forlorn  state  he  was  picked  up  by  a  detachment 
sent  back  from  the  main  body,  who  had  first  dis- 
covered his  absence  on  their  halt  at  Cana  of  Galilee, 
and  brought  in  so  weak  in  body  and  mind  as  abso- 
lutely to  believe  for  a  few  moments  in  the  stone 
jars  which  are  shown  at  that  place  as  the  identical 
jars  that  contained  the  water  made  wnne  at  the  mar- 
riage feast.  A  draught  from  the  company's  spirit- 
flask  restored  a  little  his  strength,  (and  of  course  his 
unbelief,)  and  without  further  accident  we  all  arrived 
in  safety  at  Nazareth,  and  were  received  with  great 
hospitality  by  the  Fathers  of  the  Latin  convent. 

Nazareth  has  a  fine  situation  overhanging  a  pretty 
green  valley  of  fruit-trees,  about  four  thousand  in- 
habitants, and  a  thriving  well-to-do  appearance,  rare 
enough  to  find  in  oppressed,  tax -ridden  Palestine. 
One  day  more  over  the  plain  of  Esdraelon  again, 
with  no  incidents  of  travel  save  plenty  of  gazelles, 
foxes,  jackals,  and  Bedouin  robbers,  all  of  whom 
seemed   to  avoid   our  company,  brought  us  to  the 


I 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   TARTS.  181 

bold  promontory  of  Carmel,  where  rest  is  found  in 
the  ever-hospitable  convent,  (certainly  a  most  com- 
fortable instituiion  in  such  a  country  as  Syria)i 

The  next  clay  a  magnificent  gallop  of  four  hours 
over  the  hard  beach  of  fine  sand,  where  the  horses' 
hoofs  scarcely  left  a  trace,  gave  us  abundant  time 
to  visit  the  fortifications  of  Acre,  which  the  Basliaw 
politely  sent  an  officer  to  show  us,  after  we  had 
drank  coflfee  and  smoked  long  amber-mouthed  pipes 
with  him.  One  other  day's  journey  amidst  broken 
pillars  and  ruins  of  huge  aqueducts  and  bridges,  to 
the  small  town  which  occupies  the  site  of  ancient 
Tyre,  and  still  another  day  just  lik<3  the  last,  to  Si- 
don,  and  one  final,  long,  hard  day,  with  a  rapid  river 
to  ford,  and  rocky  promontories  to  climb,  and  deep 
sand  to  wade  through,  bring  us  to  \hv  end  of  the 
week,  and  to  Beyrout,  the  end  of  our  journey,  and 
me  to  the  end  of  this  chapter,  for  all  which  blessings 
I  am  truly  thankful  and  trust  you  are  the  same. 


182 


MR.    DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER     XLI 


THE    ^GEAN    A><D    THE    DARDANELLES. 


Mardi  22d. —  On  board  the  French  steamer 
Tamise,  (Thames,)  in  the  Archipelago,  in  sight  of 
Scio  and  Cos  and  Patmos,  and  just  out  of  sight  of 
Rhodes,  opj^osite  which,  in  a  little  cove  in  the  main 
land,  we  have  been  waiting  two  days  for  the  equi- 
noctial storm  to  come  and  go  by,  but  as  the  weather 
has  continued  calm  and  the  passengers  have  mani- 
fested an  unreasonable  desire  to  get  somewhere  some 
time,  our  prudent  French  officers  have  started  out 
to-day,  running  the  risk  of  getting  to  Smyrna  be- 
fore the  storm  comes,  (of  which  there  is  n't  the  slight- 
est appearance).  We  shall  have  been  about  ten 
days  crawling  from  Beyrout  uj)  to  Smyrna,  a  pas- 
sage which  a  Yankee  boat  would  make  in  two  days 
easily,  stopping  a  day  or  two  at  every  little  dirty 
town  on  the  way,  (and  it  is  astonishing  w^hat  a 
number  of  them  there  are,)  and  putting  into  port 
whenever  there  is  any  appearance  of  a  breeze.     At 


EXPERIEXCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  183 

Rhodes,  the  ancient  stronghold  of  the  famous 
Knights  of  St.  John,  and  the  only  phice  of  any  in- 
terest along  the  whole  coast,  we  were  unable  to 
land,  but  were  taken,  much  against  our  will,  into 
the  little  cove  above  mentioned,  where  the  only  in- 
cident of  interest  for  two  days  was  the  hunt,  capture, 
and  slaughter,  by  onr  sailors,  of  a  terrific  wild  boar. 
His  struggles,  (in  the  arms  of  the  stout  seaman 
who  brought  him  on  board,)  were  fearful  to  behold, 
and  he  weighed,  when  dressed,  nearly  one  hundred 
pounds. 

Nothing  can  be  more  striking  than  these  count- 
less islands  of  the  yEgean,  with  their  bold,  abrupt 
shores  rising  defiantly  out  of  the  waves,  their  rough, 
treeless  mountain  sides,  and  queer  little  nests  of 
harbors.  Striking  but  not  very  beautiful,  save  at  a 
distance.  Some  of  them  are  exceedingly  small, 
mere  specks  on  the  surface  of  the  waters.  This 
must  be  the  birthplace  of  the  islands,  I  am  sure, 
and  as  they  grow  up  big  enough  to  take  care  of 
themselves.  Father  Neptune  doubtless  cuts  them 
adrift  from  their  nursery  here,  to  seek  their  fortune 
and  settle  down  in  the  world  where  they  best  can. 
Some  of  them  have  become  very  celebrated  in  fable 
and  in  song,  some  have  married  ambitious  penin- 
sulas  and  never  been   heard    of   more,  some  have 


184  MR.  DUNN   BROWNE'S 

raised  up  nice  little  families  of  their  own,  away  in  a 
distant  ocean,  some  have  remained  crusty  old  bach- 
elors, venting  their  spleen  in  explosive  volcanoes, 
some  have  lived  gay  lives  and  given  themselves  up 
wholly  to  wine,  some  have  flatted  out  into  humdrum 
wheat-fields,  some  have  turned  their  attention  to 
war  and  became  famous  military  and  naval  stations, 
a  few  have  taken  to  piracy,  and  a  great  many  to 
reputable  commerce.  But  whatever  be  their  grown- 
up fate,  the  little  infants  here  are  very  pert  and  saucy 
in  appearance,  rise  boldly  out  of  the  waves,  and 
look  as  if  they  wouldn't  be  imposed  upon,  even  by  a 
continent. 

Beyrout,  (which  I  ought  to  have  mentioned  be- 
fore, only  that  the  objects  nearest  me  first  attracted 
my  attention,)  is  beyond  comparison  the  finest  town 
on  the  eastern  coast  of  the  Mediterranean,  surrounded 
with  rich  gardens,  fig  orchards,  and  the  most  beauti- 
ful olive  groves  in  the  world.  And  then  the  scenery; 
there  is  the  sea  on  the  west  and  north,  the  stately 
ridge  of  Lebanon,  w^th  snowy  peaks  nine  thousand 
feet  high,  overhanging  it  on  the  east,  in  contrast 
with  the  green,  black,  blue,  and  brown  hills  below, 
and  then  toward  the  south,  the  fertile  plain,  sprinkled 
with  all  manner  of  fruit-trees  and  covered  with 
oceans  of  flowers,  and  even  yet  I  haven't  mentioned 


I 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIUX   PARTS.  185 

the  sand  hill  which  has  been  cast  up  by  the  sea,  and 
is  slowly  advancing  from  the  west  to  overwhelm 
the  city.  It  is  truly  a  charming  place,  and  healthful, 
too,  save  that  the  cholera  will  come  along  occasion- 
ally. This  is  the  centre  of  the  American  missionary 
operations  in  Syria,  and  we  found  several  old  friends 
and  acquaintances  among  the  missionaries,  who 
made  our  stay  in  Beyrout  exceedingly  pleasant,  so 
that  for  once  we  didn't  regret  the  tardiness  of  our 
steamer  which  arrived  as  usual  four  or  five  days  be- 
hind time.  It  afforded  me  very  great  gratification  to 
see  how^  comfortably,  not  only  here  but  throughout 
the  East  where  I  have  come  in  contact  with  them, 
our  missionaries  live.  They  have  good  houses,  good 
furniture,  good  servants,  and  good  living,  and  are 
thus  enabled  to  devote  themselves  entirely  to  the 
appropriate  duties  of  their  calling,  without  that  con- 
stant burden  of  anxiety  as  to  what  they  shall  eat, 
drink,  and  wear,  and  how  they  shall  support  their 
families,  which  paralyzes  the  energies  of  so  many 
clergymen  in  country  towns  here  at  home,  and  es- 
pecially in  our  Western  Home  Missionary  field. 
Our  missionaries  in  Western  Asia  are  well  sup- 
ported, held  in  high  estimation  by  both  natives  and 
foreigners  in  those  regions,  enjoy  considerable  good 
society,  and  are,  in  general,  every  way  a  credit  to 
thcnselves,  to  the  Board,  and  to  our  country. 


186  MR.  DUXN  Browne's 

March  23d. —  Stopped  at  Smyrna  on  the  Sab- 
bath, (Easter,)  attended  a  service  about  two  and  a 
half  liours  long  at  the  English  chapel,  and  at  four 
o'clock  resumed  our  voyage.  You  would  think 
Smyrna  a  very  beautiful  place,  with  its  dark  cypress 
groves  and  streets  rising  one  above  another  on  the 
side  of  the  hill,  if  you  were  only  wise  enough  not  to 
land,  but  that  destroys  the  illusion. 

March  25 th.  —  Constantinople.  —  We  have  had  a 
lovely  passage  from  Smyrna,  by  Lesbos,  Tenedos, 
Troy,  Mount  Ida,  the  Dardanelles,  Abydos,  etc., 
beautiful  in  themselves  and  all  steeped  in  historical 
and  poetical  recollections.  The  scenery  up  the  straits 
is  very  fine,  though  the  shores  are  not  fertile,  as  I  ex- 
pected, but  generally  bleak  and  barren.  I  suspect 
we  are  a  little  too  early  to  see  Constantinople  in  its 
beauty.  There  needs  the  verdure  of  May,  and 
withal  a  greater  variety  of  trees,  to  sustain  its 
reputation  of  being  the  most  beautiful  spot  in  the 
world,  even  limiting  the  world  to  that  small  portion 
of  it  seen  by  the  writer  hereof.  There  is  an  incredi- 
ble activity  and  energy  in  these  regions.  We  passed 
some  three  hundred  vessels  from  the  Dardanelles  up 
to  this  place,  and  here  Ihe  Golden  Horn  is  crowded 
with  ships  of  every  nation  and  flag.  All  is  bustle 
and  confusion,  and  red  coats  and  clanking  swords 
and  mustachios  and  ammunition  wagons,  and  young 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  187 

middies  and  drunken  sailors  and  cannon  and  bomb- 
slielLs  and  abominably  high  prices  and  other  warlike 
symptoms.  After  finding  one  of  the  cheaper  hotels, 
where  the  price  is  only  three  dollars  a  day,  we,  that 
is,  "  VV.  H.  P."  and  myself,  (our  party  split  at  Bey- 
rout,  on  the  subject  of  going  to  Damascus,  and  our 
half  divided  again  at  Smyrna,  on  account  of  the 
sickness,  wellnigh  unto  death  even,  of  our  beloved 
Isham,)  proceeded  to  explore  the  city  a  little. 
Crossed  the  Ciolden  Horn,  from  Galata  to  Stamboul 
proper,  by  the  old  bridge  of  boats,  (they  have  two 
beautiful  new  ones  for  show,  but  use  them  scarcely 
at  all,)  engaged  for  guide  an  arbitrary  little  Jewish 
boy  who  insisted  on  taking  us  to  the  bazaars  before 
visiting  St.  Sophia,  but  after  an  obstinate  struggle 
we  drove  him  on  before  us  to  the  great  church,  where 
we  found  several  of  our  English  fellow  passengers 
standing  forlornly  before  a  locked  door,  threatening, 
in  bad  French  and  wicked  English,  all  manner  of 
vengeance  from  British  ambassadors  and  consuls 
and  armies,  if  the  entrance  was  not  unbarred,  but  a 
little  quiet  talk  from  those  who  were  used  to  that 
sort  of  people,  and  a  shilling  backsheesh  from  each, 
soon  operated  as  a  talisman  for  our  admission.  As, 
however,  the  full  and  accurate  description  of  the  ven- 
erable edifice,  which  I  should  give,  would    occupy 


188  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

nearly  a  chapter  by  itself,  perhaps  you  had  better 
take  leave  of  us  standing  under  the  lofty  dome  with 
our  boots  in  our  hands,  (taking  warning  from  our 
experience  in  the  Mosk  Omar,)  in  which  position 
please  allow  the  cm-tain  to  drop. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  189 


CHAPTER  XLII. 

THE   CRIMEA. 

An  well,  I  have  been  to  the  Crimea,  and  seen 
camps  and  real  armies,  the  " pomp  and  circumstance" 
of  glorious  war,  (two  days  after  the  news  of  peace 
arrived,)  slept  at  Sebastopol,  picked  up  a  broken 
bayonet  on  the  heights  of  the  Malakofl',  seen  a  great 
town  roofless  and  in  ruins,  and  a  country  covered 
for  miles  and  miles  with  cannon  balls  and  broken 
shells.  And  one  such  sight  is  enough  for  a  lifetime. 
But  to  particularize  a  little.  We  took  passage  in 
the  British  transport  "  Tynemouth,"  a  steamer  as  I 
supposed  from  the  smoke  pipe  and  the  puffing,  but 
as  our  jovial  old  captain  informed  mc  "  only  a  sail- 
ing vessel  with  a  bit  of  a  screw  in  the  stern  just  to 
assist  in  steering."  By  making  the  most  of  her  va- 
rious means  of  locomotion  we  succeeded  in  ruiming 
the  three  hundred  and  fifty  miles  or  so  to  Balaklava 
in  three  days.  The  passage  up  the  Bosphorus  is 
the  loveliest  imaginable,  one  constant  succession  of 


190  MR.   DUXN  BROWNE'S 

picturesque  villages,  wooded  promontories,  quiet 
little  bays,  castles,  palaces,  gardens,  groves,  and  cot- 
tages ;  just  one  of  those  delightful  trips  where  one 
wishes  all  his  frends  were  with  him  to  share  the  en- 
joyment. The  Black  Sea,  however,  is  dull  and  stu- 
pid as  any  other  waste  of  waters,  and  right  glad 
were  we  when  it  was  announced  at  last  that  the  har- 
bor of  Balaklava  was  in  sight.  Going  upon  deck, 
however,  I  found  that  it  was  visible  only  to  the  eye  of 
faith,  for  not  a  break  or  cleft  could  I  discern  in  a  long 
line  of  high  white  cliffs  which  rose  like  a  hostile  wall 
forbidding  our  approach.  But  when,  after  cruising  off 
and  on  for  an  hour  or  two  till  our  boat  came  off  with 
permission  from  the  admiral  to  enter  the  harbor,  we 
approached  at  last  that  formidable  wall,  a  narrow 
line  appeared  which  widened  and  opened  like  the 
folds  of  a  door  into  a  passage  just  wide  enough  to 
admit  the  ship,  and  turning  a  tolerably  sharp  corner 
to  the  right,  we  found  ourselves  in  as  snug  a  little 
miniature  pocket  edition  of  a  harbor  as  you  will  find 
in  a  year's  sailing.  And  crowded  as  it  already  was 
with  shipping,  our  immensely  long  unwieldy  craft 
found  difficulty  in  getting  a  berth,  and  ran  her  bow- 
sprit into  the  rigging  of  one  vessel,  and  bumped  her 
stern  against  another,  a  beautiful  Sardinian  steamer, 
destroying  and  producing  a  considerable  amount  of 
railing'  on  her  quarter-deck. 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN   PARTS.  191 

Landing  as  soon  as  was  practicable,  we  strolled 
through  the  streets  of  the  extempore,  California-like 
town  of  shanties,  which  lines  the  harbor,  climbed 
over  several  steep  hills,  and  wandered  about  a  couple 
of  hours  among  the  tents  of  the  soldiers,  entered  sev- 
eral of  them  and  even  took  a  bit  of  a  lunch  with  some 
jolly  fellows  of  the  eighty-ninth  regiment,  (English). 
Their  shanties,  which  accommodate  sixteen  or  eigh- 
teen soldiers  each,  are  generally  perhaps  twenty  feet 
long  and  fourteen  wide,  with  a  door  at  one  end  and 
a  little  window  at  the  other,  a  platform  six  feet  wide 
and  a  foot  high,  running  the  whole  length  eeffch  side, 
and  a  long  narrow  table  standing  on  the  ground  in 
the  space  between,  and  a  little  stove  beyond  it  at 
the  further  end,  the  clothing  and  accoutrements  hang- 
ing all  around.  They  have  not  many  chairs,  the 
platform  referred  to  answering  therefor  as  well  as  for 
floor  and  bedstead.  On  the  whole  the  soldiers  find 
these  residences  very  comfortable,  certainly  much 
superior  to  tents  in  this  respect  if  not  so  picturesque. 
The  Sardinians  and  the  French  have  very  generally 
made  little  gardens  about  their  huts,  and  planted 
evergreens,  giving  them  quite  an  air  of  rustic  beauty 
and  elegance. 

We  visited  also  the  clean,  comfortable  Hospitals 
of  the  English  and  Sardinians,  where  the  most  ad- 
mirable neatness  and  order  reign  throughout  all  the 


192  SIR.  DUNN  Browne's 

arrangements,  and  the  sick  and  disabled  are  cared 
for  almost  with  the  kindness  of  a  home.  Even  wo- 
man's gentle  hand  was  there  to  smooth  the  pillow, 
and  her  quiet  step  gliding  among  the  couches,  to 
call  up  visions  of  mothers'  and  sisters'  care.  Those 
Sisters  of  Charity,  in  plain  dress  of  drab  and  closely- 
fitting  muslin  cap,  have  often  seemed,  no  doubt, 
to  those  poor,  mangled  victims  of  bombshells  and 
Miniu  bullets,  like  angels  ministering  to  their  suffer- 
ings. 

The  roads  throughout  this  region,  from  camp  to 
camp  and  from  hospital  to  burying-ground,  every- 
where indeed,  are  truly  excellent,  and  will  be  one 
permanent  blessing  bestowed  by  the  Allies  upon  the 
country.  Returning  from  the  inhospitable  shore, 
(no  lodgings  to  be  had  for  love  or  money,)  to  the 
hospitable  bosom  of  our  ship  to  rest  for  the  night, 
we  rose  betimes  in  the  morning  and  proceeded  to 
walk  to  Sebastopol,  eight  or  nine  miles  distant. 
We  walked  simply  because  we  chose,  (catch  a  free 
and  enlightened  American  citizen  doing  any  thing 
upon  compulsion).  To  be  sure  there  wasn't  a  horse 
or  mule  to  be  had  in  Balaklava  even  at  the  estab- 
lished rate  of  a  pound  sterling  per  day,  and  the  rail- 
road built  by  the  British  doesn't  carry  passengers, 
and  cabs  haven't  yet  been  introduced  into  the 
Crimea. 


EXPERIENCES    IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  193 

All  the  way  is  one  great  camp.  I  had  no  idea 
arnnies  occupied  so  much  room.  And  very  gay  and 
s|)lendid  was  the  whole  scene ;  the  clouds  of  white 
tents,  (I  was  talking  about  huts  a  moment  since,  but 
it  would  be  too  much  work  to  describe  huts  for 
the  whole  army,  to  say  nothing  about  building 
them,)  the  streaming  banners,  the  vast  bodies  of  in- 
fantry performing  their  evolutions,  (it  was  a  kind  of 
review  day  and  everybody  was  in  the  field,)  the 
bright  uniforms,  the  glittering  bayonets  and  dancing 
plumes,  the  soul-stirring  music,  the  si)lendid  cavalry,. 
the  grim  and  terrible  cannons,  and  above  all  the 
thought  that  it  wasn't  a  mere  sham  militia  muster, 
but  the  stern  reality  of  blood-steeped  armies  that  I 
was  looking  upon,  made  the  pageant  of  that  day 
something  to  be  long  remembered. 

But  impressive  as  was  the  sight  of  the  living 
armies  moving  in  stately  pride  before  us,  I  was  yet 
more  affected  by  the  vast  cemeteries  that  we  passed, 
where  repose  the  armies  of  the  dead,  the  common 
soldiers  with  no  record  on  their  graves,  in  great  in- 
closures  surrounded  by  a  deep  ditch,  the  officers  in 
small  plots  of  ground,  usually  one  for  each  regiment, 
inclosed  by  a  neat,  substantial  wall,  and  planted 
with  beautiful  evergreens.  Every  thing  is  in  good 
taste,  the  stones  well  wrought  and  of  the  best  mar- 

13 


194  MR.  DUNX  Browne's 

bles,  the  inscriptions  generally  brief  but  many  of 
them  very  affecting.  I  could  not  but  notice  how- 
many  youth  had  found  their  graves  in  the  Crimea. 

"  Charles    E ,   aged    seventeen,   fell    on    the 

Heights    of    Inkerman."      "  Edward,   son    of    Lord 

,  awed  eiofhteen,  died  of  wounds  received  in 

leading  his  men  to  the  attack  upon  the  Redan,"  and 
scores  of  similar  inscriptions,  we  read.  Nearly  all 
the  amputations  and  severe  surgical  operations  were 
fatal  to  the  younger  sufferers,  wdiile  the  tough  vet- 
erans survived  to  return  home  cripples,  "  honorably 
discharged."  A  cannon  ball  lay  usually  at  the  head 
and  foot  of  each  officer's  grave.  The  extent  of  these 
«  camps  of  the  dead  "  is  fearful  to  look  upon,  acres 
upon  acres,  and  square  miles  almost,  all  ridged  into 
new-made  graves,  appearing  in  the  distance  like  the 
furrows  of  newly-ploughed  fields. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  19o 


CHAPTER    XLIII. 


MODERN   RUINS. 


Before  we  were  within  two  miles  of  Sebastopol, 
the  ground  began  to  be  cut  up  into  trenches  and 
piled  up  into  breastworks,  and  to  be  covered  with 
cannon  balls  and  fragments  of  shells,  lying  so  closely 
together  that  you  might  walk  any  distance  on  them 
as  a  pavement,  without  once  touching  the  earth.  I 
couldn't  have  believed  that  so  much  good  useful  iron 
had  been  perverted  into  death-dealing  projectiles 
since  the  devil  first  taught  Friar  Bacon  the  invention 
of  gunpowder.  Why,  there  is  enough  lying  within 
a  circle  about  Sebastopol  of  five  miles  diameter,  to 
build  all  the  iron  steamers  now  afloat,  and  give  each 
of  them  a  cargo  in  the  bargain. 

As  we  came  over  the  brow  of  4;he  hill  which  com- 
mands a  view  of  the  town,  the  first  thing  to  strike 
us  was  the  beauty  of  the  harbor,  and  the  next,  the 
strangeness  of  a  city  without  roofs.  I  wasn't  aware 
before  that  the  roof  was  so  important  a  feature  of 


196  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

the  house,  considered  in  the  light  of  a  picture.  Un- 
cover Boston  and  look  down  upon  it  from  Bunker 
Hill  monument.  That's  the  easiest  way  I  can  sug- 
gest to  you  of  getting  an  adequate  idea  of  the  thing. 
If  this  does  n't  answer  the  purpose,  w^hy,  put  the  roofs 
on,  come  down  again  and  give  it  up;  it's  no  use 
trying.  Drawing  nearer  we  came  to  a  hill  evidently 
once  fortified,  but  now  so  torn  and  tortured  out  of  all 
resemblance  to  any  thing  natural  or  artificial,  and 
withal  covered  with  such  a  chaos  of  broken  military 
iron-mongery,  as  to  arrest  our  attention  at  once  and 
put  us  upon  making  inquiries  of  a  sentinel  near  by. 
This  was  the  Redan.  The  earth  bears  now  no  traces 
of  the  blood  here  spilt,  but  is  covered  with  a  perfect 
hail  of  bullets  beaten  into  all  sorts  of  shapes  and 
shapelessness.  The  soldier  pointed  out  to  us  the 
different  varieties  of  Minie  ball  used  by  the  several 
armies,  and  we  carried  away  a  pocketful  of  the 
leaden  specimens. 

Descending  through  trampled  vineyards  and  fields 
ploughed  with  cannon  balls,  we  were  soon  in  the 
streets  of  the  ruined* town.  I  shall  never  need  read 
any  more  sermons  and  dissertations  on  the  horrors  of 
war.  There  were  churches  burned  and  battered 
down,  monuments  mutilated,  splendid  buildings  in 
ruins,  bridges  destroyed,  costly  docks  blown  up,  the 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS-  197 

harbor  encumbered  with  sunken  shipy,  all  business  at 
an  end,  no  children  playing  in  the  streets,  no  woman's 
face  at  the'  casement,  no  workman's  hammer  heard, 
only  soldiers  to  be  met  on  the  pavement,  desolation? 
cinders,  blackened  walls,  tottering  chimneys,  fallen 
arches,  shattered  coFumns,  every  thing  combustible 
burned,  every  thing  in  pieces  that  was  breakable, 
devastation,  ruin,  war,  —  Sebastopol. 

Spent  the  entire  afternoon  in  visiting  the  ruins  of 
the  forts  Nicholas,  Paul,  and  Alexander,  (nothing  now 
but  mere  heaps  of  stone,)  the  Malakoff  and  the  stu- 
pendous works  of  attack  and  defence,  all  around  the 
sonth  side.  I  suppose  so  much  labor  and  treasure 
and  powder  and  blood  were  never  before  spent  for 
the  possession  of  a  single  town.  The  MalakotF  is  a 
fearfully  strong  looking  place.  Willi  my  ignorance 
of  military  matters  I  would  consider  it  a  much  easier 
matter  to  carry  the  Redai!  ;  however,  if  you  will  re- 
ceive my  opinion  iin])licitly  on  every  thing  else,  you 
may  take  it  for  what  it  is  worth  in  afl'airs  of  war. 
The  Malakotf,  like  the  Redan,  is  covered  with  a 
wreck  of  broken  cannon,  and  gun-carriages,  and  all 
kinds  of  military  implements,  and  so  tossed  about 
and  rent  in  pieces  and  perverted  out  of  all  form  and 
comeliness,  that  one  might  easily  imagine  it  the  Mil- 
tonic  scene  of  conflict  between  the  holy  and  the  rebel 
angels. 


198  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

Spent  the  night  in  one  of  the  dozen  houses  in  the 
place  that  have  a  roof  still,  on  a  sofa,  in  a  room  of 
which  one  corner  has  been  shot  away,  and  having  a 
hole  in  the  ceiling  made  by  the  passage  of  a  ball  or 
bomb,  with  just  three  panes  of  glass  all  told  in  the 
windows,  (the  rest  patched  out  with  paper,  cloth,  and 
wood,)  and  furnished  with  costly  mahogany  and  rose- 
wood articles  of  various  names,  bureaus,  secreta- 
ries, book-cases,  etc.,  all  razeed  into  tables,  because 
this  was  a  restaurant.  AValked  about  the  city  again 
an  hour  or  two  in  the  morning,  then  down  to  Kami- 
esch,  seven  miles,  through  more  camps,  (the  French 
make  each  camp  of  theirs  a  miniature  Paris  in  boards, 
with  gay  cafes,  restaurants,  and  all  sorts  of  shops  with 
flaming  signs,)  saw  the  same  town  of  shanties  and 
the  same  crowd  of  ships  as  at  Balaldava,  though 
more  of  the  latter,  because  the  harbor  is  larger  ;  and 
embarked  for  Constantinople. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  199 


CHAPTER    XLIV. 

DOWN  THE  MEDITERRANEAN. 

Indited  on  board  the  steamer  "  Thabor,"  which  is 
at  ])resent  rather  full,  Mr.  Browne  sleeping  upon  a 
table  at  night,  (strapped  on  when  the  sea  is  very 
rough.)  eating  his  breakfast  from  the  same  in  the 
morning,  and  writing  upon  it  the  rest  of  the  day. 
The  tide  of  travel  is  setting  very  strongly  to  the  west- 
ward at  the  present  time  in  these  Mediterranean  re- 
gions. It  is  indeed  necessary  to  "  submit  to  circum- 
stances" as  our  philosophical  first  mate  with  a  flour- 
ish of  his  cigar  and  a  French  shrug  of  his  shoul- 
ders, remarked  to  me  last  night,  when  I  ventured  a 
gentle  remonstrance  against  being  "laid  on  the  table" 
instead  of  in  a  state-room.  What  with  the  three 
gentlemen  who  occupy  a  similar  tabular  position 
with  myself,  and  the  four  gentlemen  who  spread 
themselves  under  the  tables,  and  the  five  slim  gentle- 
men who  sleep  on  the  narrow  cushioned  seats  which 
surround  our  cabin,  and  the  very  fat  Turkish  gentle- 


200  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

man  who  covers  the  remaining  space  of  the  floor  at 
our  end  of  the  room,  and  the  three  waiters  who  hud- 
dle j)romiscuously  in  the  pantry  among  the  knives 
and  forks  ;  considering  also  that  two  of  my  room 
mates  snore  and  a  third  persists  in  throwing  slippers 
and  brushes  at  their  heads  to  wake  them,  and  that 
several  others  are  desperately  sea-sick,  and  that  the 
French  officer  on  my  right  invariably  smokes  a  cigar 
after  retiring,  and  that  a  young  family  of  teething 
children  haunts  a  state-room  at  my  head  ;  a  lively 
imagination  may  assist  this  unexaggerated  sketch  in 
giving  you  a  tolerable  idea  of  the  comforts  of  travel- 
ling at  ten  dollars  a  day,  as  exemplified  on  the 
steamer  Thabor  down  the  Mediterranean. 

Our  deck  is  encumbered  with  a  regiment  or  so  of 
French  soldiers,  with  mustachios  and  baggy  panta- 
loons, both  of  a  dirty  red.  Their  ofiicers  are  a  rather 
gentlemanly  set  of  fellows,  dressed  in  the  "  shabby 
genteel"  style,  (which  is  to  be  sure  quite  to  be 
expected  after  a  campaign  in  the  Crimea,)  whose 
thoughts  are  much  occupied  with  eating  and  drink- 
ing, and  who  hate  the  English  most  cordially.  I 
have  been  somewhat  surprised  to  find  so  much  ill- 
feeling  existing  everywhere  between  the  Allies.  I 
don't  believe  the  English  and  French  can  thoroughly 
like  each  other.     Their  union  is  a  mixture  of  oil  and 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  201 

water.  The  Russians,  however,  who  were  l)('£;i li- 
ning to  come  back  to  Sebastopol,  and  even  down  to 
Constantinople,  when  we  were  there,  were  received 
with  open  arnns  by  the  French.  I  saw  an  amusing 
scene,  just  by  the  ruins  of  Fort  Nicholas,  between  a 
party  of  French  soldiers  and  some  Russians  who 
were  just  ready  to  embark  in  a  boat  to  return  to  the 
north  side  after  a  visit  to  the  ruins  of  their  captured 
city.  Both  parties  were  most  pathetically  and  affec- 
tionately drunk,  and  the  embraces  and  maudlin  pro- 
testations of  eternal  friendship  and  kisses  were 
extremely  ludicrous.  One  in  a  transjjort  of  ardor 
would  throw  his  arms  around  the  neck  of  his  "  brave 
ennemi,"  and  the  momentum  thus  imparted  would 
bring  both  to  the  ground,  where  they  would  roll 
around,  kissing  and  hugging  each  other,  till  they 
were  set  on  their  feet  again  by  their  comrades,  and 
all  would  walk  quietly  on  till  another  ebullition  of 
vinous  friendship  would  bring  on  another  similar 
scene.  The  performances  closed  with  an  affectionate 
couple's  falling  into  the  water  and  nearly  drowning. 
But  returning  from  this  digression  to  the  Crimea, 
I  will  stop  at  Constantinople  a  moment  by  the  way, 
to  explain  the  reason  for  not  sending  you  that  accu- 
rate description  of  St.  Sophia  at  which  I  hinted  in 
one  of  the  former  chapters.  In  the  first  place,  I 
didn't  have   time   to    make   the   additional   visit    I 


202  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

intended,   for  the  purpose   of  counting  the   pillars 
awain  and  the  number  of  iron  bands  that  had  been 
placed  around  to  strengthen  them,  and  to  measure 
the  inclination  of  one  which  was  thrown  out  of  the 
perpendicular  by  an  earthquake ;  and  then  again  if  I 
were  to  let  strict  accuracy  go,  and  "  aggravate  "  the 
description  a  little,  I  couldn't  possibly  tell  so  large  a 
story   as  Murray   in    his    Handbook,  who    says   the 
gilded  crescent  whicii   ornaments  its  dome  is  fifty 
yards  across  ;  but  the  main  reason  perhaps  after  all, 
is  that  a  friend  in  whose  critical  judgment  I  have  the 
greatest  confidence,  has  recently  written  me  that  my 
letters  would  be  "more  interesting"  (which  I  sup- 
pose is  polite  for  "  less  tiresome,")  if  I  said  not  so 
much  about  things  and  something  more  about  per- 
sons.    So    I   shall    for   the    future   strive   to    avoid 
descriptions  and  going  into  transports  over  fine  scen- 
ery and  such  hackneyed  nonsense,  and  devote  my- 
self more  to  animate  objects,  become  in  short,  more 
personal,  though  I  hope  not  xnoxe  first  personal  than 
in  the  present  epistle  at  least.     You  may  expect  here- 
after, such  things  as  the  interview  I  had  with  King 
Otho   and   Mrs.    Otho    at  Athens,  the    audience    I 
expect  with  His  Holiness  the  Pope,  and  an  interest- 
ing  sketch   of  a   pimple-faced   Italian   Count  with 
whom  1  lately  came  in  contact,  (owing  to  a  lurch 
of  the  ship,)  etc.  etc. 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.       203 


CHAPTER    XLV. 


ATHENS. 


"  Modern  Athens  ovight  to  be  removed.  It  is  a 
very  clean,  bright,  well-built,  regular,  enterprising 
town,  and  therefore  one  would  n't  really  wish  to 
see  it  destroyed,  but  it  certainly  ought  to  be  re- 
moved. It  is  dreadfully  in  the  way  of  ancient 
Athens  and  seriously  injures  the  effect  of  the  old 
ruins.  If  it  were  a  dirty  Arab  mud  village  like 
those  that  occupy  the  sites  of  ancient  cities  in 
Egypt  and  Western  Asia,  where  you  will  see  an 
exquisite  marble  column  built  into  the  clay  wall 
of  a  donkey-stable,  and  mutilated  statues  thrust- 
ing their  broken  noses  and  stumps  of  arms  out 
among  the  rude  stones  of  miserable  huts,  the  thing 
wouldn't  in  that  case  be  so  open  to  criticism,  be- 
cause barbarism  and  ruins  go  naturally  enough 
together  and  even  heighten  each  other's  effects. 
But  these  i)rim,  smirking,  upright,  self-conceited, 
civilized    edifices,    all    chequered    off  into    parallelo- 


204  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

grams,  hemming  in  and  crowding  npon  those 
glorious  old  temples  of  Greece's  golden  age,  are 
an  impertinent  intrusion  of  the  utilitarian  upon 
the  poetical  by  no  means  to  be  tolerated.  It  is  no 
wonder  that  the  graceful  structures  crumble  away 
and  sink  into  the  earth  before  such  shocking  en- 
croachments." 

The  above  is  a  portion  of  a  philippic  delivered 
on  the  eighteenth  of  April  last,  by  Mr.  Browne 
from  the  very  bema  where  Demosthenes  used  to 
thunder  against  the  enemies  of  his  country.  The 
audience  in  the  case  mentioned,  was  of  the  kind 
usually  spoken  of  as  "  select  rather  than  numerous," 
consisting  of  a  few  Yankee  friends  occupying  the 
steps  below  the  orator,  a  group  of  gentle  Athenian 
maidens  (barefooted)  in  the  distance,  and  nearer  at 
hand  two  huge  peasants  who  were  shearing  a  don- 
key, together  with  the  donkey  himself,  which  latter 
auditor  caused  the  speaker  to  conclude  his  remarks 
.rather  hastily,  by  the  strong  symptoms  of  a  bray 
which  appeared  on  his  countenance,  whether  of  ap- 
probation or  otherwise  could  not  be  ascertained. 

Mr.  B.  has  roamed  over  the  Acropolis  by  moon- 
light, and  felt  poetical  emotions  in  reference  to  the 
Parthenon,  the  Temple  of  Theseus  and  that  of 
Olympian    Jove,    but    refrains    from    a   description 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  20-3 

under  the  impression  that  there  is  one   somewhere 
ah-eady  extant. 

Having  heard  any  (iuantity  of  frightful  accounts 
of  the  banditti  in  these  regions,  and  learning  that 
about  a  dozen  were  still  lurkinii:  in  the  caves  of 
Mt.  Pentelicus,  ten  miles  from  Athens,  our  party 
of  six  Yankees  took  horses  (and  plenty  of  revolvers), 
for  an  excursion  to  the  summit  of  that  mountain, 
on  the  day  after  our  arrival.  Saw  plenty  of  robbers, 
if  looks  can  convict  a  man,  but  as  every  one  of  them 
was  engaged  (far  a  pretence  probably)  in  some 
peaceful  occupation,  such  as  attending  sheep  or 
hoeing  cabbages,  we  did  not  feel  justified  in  shooting 
any,  and  returned  adventureless,  having  repeated 
the  old  performance  of  going  up  a  hill  and  coming 
down  again.  The  magnificent  view  of  the  plain 
and  bay  of  Marathon,  the  straits  of  Salamis,  and 
Attica  with  its  lovely  coast  and  islands  adjacent, 
pays  for  the  journey,  however,  if  you  don't  bag  a 
single  bandit. 

King  Otho  and  Mrs.  Otho  bowed  very  politely 
to  us,  as  we  met  in  the  street  about  five  o'clock, 
but  unfortunately  were  not  at  home  the  next  day 
when  we  called  at  the  palace,  and  our  acquaintance 
remains  very  limited.  We  went  over  the  huge 
palace  though,  which  is  much  finer  tha-n  one  would 


206  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

expect  of  such  a  sort  of  fourth-rate  king,  and  has  a 
garden  attached  which  is  fit  for  a  firstrate  king,  or 
an  emperor,  or  a  president  of  the  United  States. 
The  king  dresses  in  the  full  Albanian  costume,  but 
•  the  queen  in  the  Parisian.  He  is  slight,  she  is  very 
plump.  He  is  a  Catholic  and  she  a  Protestant,  and. 
their  subjects  being  of  the  Greek  church,  certainly 
religious  toleration  ought  to  be  the  result  of  so  many 
different  opinions.  The  royal  pair  are  patrons  of 
a  sort  of  orphan  asylum  in  their  own  palace,  sup- 
porting and  educating  thirty  or  forty  bright  looking 
children  of  both  sexes,  whom  we  saw  gathered  into 
one  of  the  great  rooms,  practising  vocal  music,  un- 
der the  care  of  their  teachers. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  207 


CHAPTER   XLVI. 

QUARANTINE. 

Naples  Harbor^  April  26ih. —  After  making  the 
whole  tour  of  the  Mediterranean,  (at  least  that 
part  of  it  which  is  generally  considered  the  worst,) 
without  let  or  hinderance,  except  that  which  arose 
from  the  fact  that  every  French  steamer  has  been 
behind  time  save  one,  (which  we  missed  in  conse- 
quence,) here  we  are  brought  up  at  last  against  a 
ten  days'  quarantine  imposed  by  the  enlightened 
and  liberal  Neapolitan  government,  although  our 
ship  has  a  clean  bill  of  health  and  there  is  n't  a 
particle  of  epidemic  or  fever  or  any  thing  conta- 
gious at  Malta,  Constantinople,  Athens,  Smyrna,  or 
any  of  the  Eastern  ports  from  which  we  come.  And 
we  must  shut  ourselves  up  in  a  prison  (literally 
true)  ten  days  in  this  hot  weather  without  even 
permission  to  take  an  hour's  row  on  the  bay,  or  go 
through  the  farce  of  sailing  three  or  four  hundred 
miles  up  the  coast  to  Leghorn  and  coming  directly 


208  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

back  again  by  a  return  steamer,  consuming  a  week's 
time  and  fifty  dollars.  I  am  utterly  disgusted  with 
the  whole  arrangement,  and  consider  the  Egyptians 
and  Turks  a  civilized  and  well-behaved  jDcople  com- 
pared with  the  Italians.  Naples  is  a  dirty-looking 
old  town,  the  celebrated  bay  quite  an  ordinary  afl'air, 
and  Vesuvius  itself  only  a  large  sized  coal-pit. 

Naples,  one  week  later. —  When  not  seen  through 
the  spectacles  of  quarantine  this  is  truly  a  most 
charming  city,  the  bay,  with  its  lovely  islands  and 
beautiful  circle  of  towns,  all  that  its  most  enthusiastic 
admirers  ever  claimed  in  its  behalf,  and  Vesuvius  as 
fine  an  old  mountain  as  ever  spoiled  its  digestion  by 
falling  into  the  bad  habit  of  smoking.  Enjoyed  our 
trip  up  and  down  the  coast  of  Italy  as  well  as  could 
be  expected  considering  the  frame  of  mind  we  were 
in.  Stopped  all  day  at  every  place,  for  which  I 
could  see  no  reason,  as  we  held  no  other  than  oral 
intercourse  with  the  shore,  except  by  little  billets 
carried  in  fumigated  tin  boxes.  At  Civita  Vecchia 
we  found  the  beautiful  United  States  steamer 
Saranac  lying  at  anchor.  One  of  our  American 
passengers,  wishing  to  do  the  polite  towards  his 
countrymen,  sent  his  servant  to  hail  the  Saranac, 
and  inform  the  officers  that  he  had  late  United 
States  newspapers  which  were  very  much  at  their 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  209 

service.  The  servant,  who  was  a  Maltese  and  did  n't 
speak  much  English,  of  course  blundered  with  his 
message,  and  the  lieutenant  of  the  Saranac,  think- 
ing that  some  American  citizen  in  distress  wished 
his  assistance,  dons  his  most  splendid  uniform,  girds 
on  his  longest  sword,  orders  out  his  largest  boat,  (of 
sixteen  or  twenty  oars,)  and  with  a  couple  of  dozen 
brave  tars  comes  to  the  rescue.  In  answer  to  his 
hail  our  friend  is  obliged  to  appear  on  the  quarter- 
deck, and  explain  matters,  (at  the  top  of  his  voice,) 
finds  that  the  Saranac  can't  receive  his  newspapers 
without  being  put  in  quarantine  thereby,  and  more- 
over that  there  are  on  board  papers  of  some  five  or 
six  days'  later  date.  So  you  see  politeness,  though 
an  admirable  virtue,  is  sometimes  a  little  trouble- 
some, and  like  roast  beef  should  n't  be  overdone. 

Arrived  at  Leghorn  at  five  o'clock,  A.  M.,  and 
found  that  a  fast  steamer  was  to  leave  at  twelve  for 
Naples  and  run  through  in  a  day.  Rejoiced  very 
greatly  at  the  opportunity,  but  found  we  were  quite 
too  fast  in  our  calculations,  for  we  could  by  no  means 
be  permitted  to  go  from  one  vessel  to  the  other, 
(they  were  along-side,)  but  must  first  land,  for  which 
our  permission  arrived  on  board  at  half  past  ten,  and 
for  this  permission  we  paid  one  dollar  each ;  then 
we  were  obliged  to  search  out  the  police  oflice,  and 

14 


210  '  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

wait  in  a  crowd  till  two  lazy  officials  could  select 
our  passports  and  give  them  up  to  us,  and  then  go  to 
another  part  of  the  city  for  the  visd  of  the  Neapoli- 
tan consul,  for  which  we  paid  one  and  a  half  dollars 
each,  and  then  returning  on  board,  we  found  ourselves 
too  late  for  the  steamer,  and  were  forced  to  disembark 
our  goods  and  chattels,  take  them  through  the  cus- 
tom-house and  settle  ourselves  in  a  hotel  two  or 
three  days,  waiting  for  the  next  steamer.  There  is 
nothing  like  paying  a  due  respect  to  forms.  The 
custom-house  officers  here  have  very  sharp  noses  for 
the  scent  of  tobacco,  as  one  of  our  company,  who 
was  taking  a  few  pounds  of  nice  Turkish  home  to 
his  father,  found  to  his  cost.  But  a  poor  little 
Frenchman,  more  unfortunate  still,  besides  losing  a 
hundred  cigars  which  he  showed,  was  fined  five  dol- 
lars because  he  said  there  was  no  tobacco  in  his 
trunk,  and  on  opening  it  two  solitary  Havanas, 
which  he  had  forgotten,  were  found  lying  on  the  top. 
Leghorn  is  a/rfe  port,  very. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  211 


CHAPTER   XLVIl. 

RETROSPECTIVE   FROM    THE   ETERNAL   CITY. 

Being  at  Rome,  I  shall  now  proceed  to  write  you 
a  little  about  Naples,  just  as  at  Naples  I  gave  you  a 
bit  of  a  sketch  of  our  sea  adventures,  and  on  a 
steamer  \\Tote  you  a  letter  from  Athens,  and  at 
Athens  one  from  Constantinople,  etc.  I  shall  en- 
deavor to  overtake  myself  as  soon  as  possible,  so  as 
to  be  able  to  give  a  contemporaneous  history  of 
events,  yet  this  writing  a  little  behind  the  time  is 
not  without  its  advantages,  especially  in  point  of 
brevity,  one  can  forget  so  much  in  a  w^eek  or  two  ; 
moreover  it  gives  a  little  more  room  for  the  imagina- 
tion to  exercise  itself. 

Of  course  it  will  be  necessary  to  say  a  word  or 
two  about  the  weather  first  of  all.  As  it  is  gener- 
ally admitted  that  Naples  has  the  finest  climate  in 
the  world,  it  must  be  true.  It  is  also  true  that  in 
the  first  half  of  the  month  of  May,  1856,  there  were 
in  Naples  only  two  days  which  were  not  rainy,  and 


212  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

only  one  clear  enough  to  make  a  pleasant  ascent  of 
^  esiivius.  These  two  statements  being  both  true 
cannot  be  contradictory,  therefore  I  have  not  said 
any  thing  prejudicial  to  the  character  of  the  "  Italian 
skies,"  and  cannot  be  accused  of  grumbling  in  this 
chapter  at  least.  The  next  thing  to  be  spoken  of  in 
Naples,  you  will  doubtless  expect  to  be,  the  Laz- 
zaroni,  but  as  no  amount  of  search  enabled  me  to 
find  any,  that  topic  must  needs  be  passed  over. 
Vesuvius  also  shall  go  unnoticed,  because  he  has  ob- 
stinately persisted  in  postponing,  till  after  our  depart- 
ure, the  eruption  which  he  has  promised  ever  since 

c 

the  new  crater  »was  formed  four  months  ago.  He 
did  give  us  a  fine  view,  however,  of  the  bay  and  its 
circumjacent  towns,  and  it  was  worth  something  to 
stand  round  the  edge  of  the  crater  and  see  the  huge 
masses  of  earth  crack  off  almost  under  our  very  feet, 
and  go  rumbling  and  thundering  down  into  the  bot- 
tomless pit,  that  sent  up  its  sulphurous  fumes  into 
our  faces,  and  flashed  occasionally  up  from  its  black 
depths  a  demon  smile  of  flame,  that  absolutely  star- 
tled us,  and  suggested  the  idea  of  very  unpleasant 
com))any  nearer  than  was  quite  agreeable  to  contem- 
plate, standing  on  such  treacherous  foundations.  I 
thought  of  the  passage  of  Scripture  about  the 
wicked,  "  Their  feet  shall  slide  in  due  time,"  and 


EXPERIEXCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  213 

iheiiccforlli  gave  the  crater  a  \vide  berth.  We  did 
some  rather  "tall  walking"  in  onr  descent.  A  long 
Yankee  that  acconnpanied  us  made  twelve  steps,  I 
think,  from  lop  to  bottom. 

Herculanc'um  is  a  very  damp  cellar  of  long  narrow 
passages,  where  you  see  occasionally  fragments  of 
ancient  brick  walls,  and  fall  down  the  slippery  steps 
of  the  old  theatre.  But  Pompeii  does  n't  disappoint 
you  at  all.  You  see  precisely  what  you  expect,  one 
half  a  city  buried  fifteen  feet  deep,  with  orchards, 
gardens,  and  vineyards  flourishing  over  it,  and  the 
other  half,  from  which  this  earthen  cover  has  been 
lifted,  lying  roofless  and  desolate,  like  a  sacked  and 
captured  town.  The  resemblance  to  Sebastopol 
struck  me  at  every  step.  Widen  the  streets  a  little, 
and  sprinkle  a  thousand  tons  of  cannon  balls  over  it, 
and  you  would  need  stop  and  think,  to  say  which 
was  which.  One  walks  dreamily  and  in  a  moral- 
izing mood  about  old  Pompeii  and  always  wants  to 
come  again. 

The  only  truly  beautiful  ruins,  however,  anywhere 
in  the  vicinity  of  Naples,  are,  as  everybody  knows  or 
ought  to  know,  (if  they  have  ever  read  the  infallible, 
indispensable,  and  interminable  Murray,)  at  Paestum, 
fifty  miles  down  the  coast.  Our  getting  there  was  a 
specimen  of  Italian  travelling  of  which  I  would  like 


214  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

to  eive  von  a  sketch,  but  the  time  which  has  since 
elapsed  has  dimmed  the  vividness  of  the  impressions. 
I  recollect  that  it  rained  hard  all  the  time,  that  we 
came  at  last  to  a  river  so  rapid  and  swollen  that  the 
large  ferry-boat  could  not  cross  with  our  carriage,  and 
we  were  told  that  we  must  turn  back.  That  word 
"  must ''  not  being  very  palatable  to  a  party  of  the 
"  free  and  enlightened  "  we  declared  we  would  n't  go 
back,  and  left  our  guide,  who  was  afraid  to  cross,  to 
take  care  of  our  team,  while  we  chartered  a  skiff  half 
full  of  water  and  bare-legged  boatmen,  crossed  the 
stream  in  safety,  mustered  up  bad  Italian  enough 
to  make  a  bargain  with  some  bad  Italians  on  the 
other  side,  engaged  another  carriage  and  saw  Paes- 
tum  at  last,  rain  and  rivers  to  the  contrary  notwith- 
standing. Returned  to  Naples  triumphant,  but 
dreadfully  wet ;  took  a  bath,  (rather  an  unnecessary 
operation  you  may  say,)  and  such  a  dinner  as  I  wish 
you  had  been  at  the  Cafe  Europa  to  share  with  us. 

The  next  day,  not  feeling  exactly  in  the  mood  for 
ordinary  sight-seeing,  we  went  to  see  the  grand  mira- 
cle, whose  annual  recurrence  secures  the  prosperity 
of  the  city.  The  blood  of  St.  Januarius,  the  patron 
of  Naples,  dried  and  clotted  on  to  the  inner  surface 
of  two  little  bottles,  once  a  year,  in  answer  to  the 
prayers  of  the  faithful,  betomes  liquid  and  flows  as 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  215 

readily  as  if  freshly  drawn.  The  miracle  was  suc- 
cessful, this  year,  to  the  eyes  of  all  good  Catholics, 
but  for  myself,  not  having  the  eye  of  faith,  I  couldn't 
see  that  any  change  had  been  effected.  If  those  who 
have  the  most  interest  in  such  things  are  satisfied, 
however,  we  outsiders  needn't  find  any  fault.  But 
besides  one  or  two  miracles,  I  saw  also,  at  Naples 
and  in  some  of  the  towns  in  its  vicinity,  a  great 
many  other  rare  and  curious  things,  fragments  of 
nearly  all  the  Apostles,  the  whole  of  several  of  the 
early  martyrs,  and  even  duplicate  heads  of  St.  An- 
drew, several  teeth  of  the  Virgin  Mary  and  three 
hairs  (all  of  different  colors)  from  her  head,  pieces  of 
the  true  cross,  parts  of  the  crown  of  thorns,  etc., 
etc. 

The  museums  of  Naples  are  among  the  things 
that  must  be  seen  and  that  can't  be  described. 
Among  the  acres  of  bad  pictures,  nearly  the  only 
one  that  I  recollect  is  Domenichino's  "  Guardian 
Angel"  extending  his  wings  over  a  little  confiding 
child,  (Innocence,)  to  guard  against  the  Evil  Spirit 
who  is  creeping  near,  with  malice  in  his  eye  and  a 
pitchfork  in  his  hand,  to  attack  the  little  fellow. 
Among  the  sculptures  the  group  of  the  Farnese  Bull 
is  the  most  magnificent  marble  story    I   have  ever 


216  MR.   DUNN  BROWNE'S 

read.  The  Herculaneum  and  Pompeii  objects  are 
more  interesting  than  can  be  believed  without  seeing, 
but  the  kitchen  utensils  are  not  so  valuable  as  I  had 
supposed,  most  of  the  copper  kettles  and  basins  hav- 
ing holes  worn  through  the  bottom. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  217 


CHAPTER   XLVIII- 

IN   A   VETTURA. 

His  Lordship,  the  very  Reverend  Bishop  of  Cork, 
two  young  Irish  priests  with  an  O  at  the  beginning 
of  their  names,  one    rather    fast    young    gentleman 
from  Hartford  who  delights  in  coming  out  in  a  white 
suit  on  all  the  sunshiny    days,   another   somewhat 
staid  young  American  from  North  Carolina  who  re- 
fuses to  walli  with  the  above-mentioned  gentleman 
in  white,  on  account  of  the  attention  which  his  sin- 
gularity of  dress  attracts,  and    your  correspondent, 
started  from  Naples  early  on  the  morning  of  Tues- 
day, May  13th,  to  perform  the  journey  to  Rome  in  a 
Vettura,   a   rather  heavy,  awkwardly  made   coach, 
with  seats  for  four  inside  and  two  in  the  coup^  in 
front.      His    Reverence    and   your   humble    servant 
being  the  extremes  of  the  party  as  regards  size,  our 
Vetturino,  who  has  an  Italian  eye  to  the  fitness  and 
harmony  of  things,  very  naturally  requested   us  to 
occupy  a  seat  together ;  and  certainly  if  three  hun- 


218  MK.  DUNN  Browne's 

dred  \veight  of  bishop  can  ever  be  agreeable  on  the 
same  seat  in  a  hot  carriage  in  June,  this  was  one  of 
the  instances.  He  is  as  learned  and  well  informed 
and  courteous  as  he  is  large,  endured  all  the  hard- 
ships of  the  trip  with  exemplary  cheerfulness,  fasted 
strictly  one  whole  day  in  the  dust  and  heat,  accord- 
ing to  the  rules  of  his  church,  and  on  the  whole  he 
and  his  two  young  companions  are  the  most  liberal 
Catholic  priests  I  have  yet  met  Avith.  We  discussed 
some  of  the  points  of  difference  with  the  utmost  free- 
dom, especially  in  reference  to  the  unrestricted  circu- 
lation of  the  Scriptures  among  the  people,  a  very 
dangerous  liberty  according  to  their  reverences, 
whose  evil  effects  are  especially  apparent  in  the 
United  States,  in  the  great  variety  of  perverse  and 
conflicting  sects  who  are  perpetually  disputing  over 
that  Bible  which  is  thus  injudiciously  put  into  their 
hands,  to  become  only  a  weapon  of  controversy.  It 
was  also  gently  hinted  that  by  our  own  erroneous 
interpretation  of  some  passages  quoted  in  the  course 
of  the  conversation  we  furnished  an  argument  on 
their  side  a(  the  question.  But  we  refused  to  ac- 
knowledge the  force  of  that  argument,  considering 
that  the  interpretation  of  three  of  the  "free  and  en- 
lightened "  is  quite  as  valuable  any  day  as  that  of 
three  Irishmen.     In  other  matters  we  differed  very 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  219 

little,  save,  perhaps,  in  regard  to  the  Pope's  domin- 
ions being  the  very  best  governed  portion  of  the 
world.  Our  friends  in  black  robes  promised  to  obtain 
an  audience  with  His  Holiness  for  us,  if  we  wished,  ^ 
but  learning  that  a  court-dress  would  be  necessary, 
(or  if  not  a  court-dress  at  least  a  dress  that  not  one 
of  us  had  on  our  return  from  the  East,)  and  having 
been  brought  up  from  our  infancy  to  consider  kissing 
the  Pope's  toe  as  an  indispensable  part  of  the  cere- 
mony, we  declined  the  lionor. 

As  we  approached  the  Eternal  City  the  people 
grew  better  looking,  and  I  think  I  have  never  seen 
a  finer,  more  robust  and  noble-looking  race  than  the 
sunburned  peasant  men  and  especially  peasant  wo- 
men in  some  of 'the  districts  between  Naples  and 
Rome.  These  latter,  (i.  e.  the  women,)  usually  wear 
a  silver  bodkin  nearly  a  foot  in  length,  thrust  through 
the  mass  of  raven  locks  which  is  tumbled  up  rather 
promiscuously  at  the  back  of  their  heads.  I  can  only 
conjecture  whether  this  is  a  mere  matter  of  ornament, 
or  of  defence,  or  to  show  that  they  are  ready  to  imi- 
tate the  example  of  the  great  Lucretia  of  old,  at  a 
moment's  warning,  without  having  to  hunt  up  a 
dagger.  All  the  peasant  girls  wear  rather  costly 
neck  ornaments  of  gold  or  coral,  and  those  who  can 
afford  it  wear  also  shoes,  but  these  latter  are  a  rare 
luxury,  and  as  for  stockings  I  doubt  if  I  saw  on  an 


220  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

average  a  pair  in  a  day's  ride.  Our  trip  occupied 
three  days,  all  which  I  greatly  enjoyed  except  the 
meal  hours  and  the  nights.  The  reason  for  this  im- 
^  portant  exception  might  be  given,  but  I  dare  not 
trust  my  feelings  to  speak  on  the  subject  as  yet. 
Believe  me,  there  are  things  in  Italian  travelling  which 
are  not  down  in  the  books.  If  a  person  has  the 
temper  of  an  angel,  the  purse  of  a  nabob,  the  stom- 
ach of  an  ostrich,  the  skin  of  a  rhinoceros,  is  not 
pressed  for  time  and  has  not  the  sense  of  smell,  I  see 
no  reason  why  he  should  not  enjoy  a  leisurely  tour 
over  the  whole  of  this  most  beautiful  land.  But  as 
your  humble  servant  is  endowed  only  with  the  first 
of  the  above-mentioned  qualifications,  the  agreeable 
reminiscences  are  slightly  mingfed  with  others. 
Still  since  the  great  works  of  art  which  Napoleon 
very  sensibly  and  justifiably  carried  away  to  a  more 
comfortable  country,  have  been  brought  back,  why 
there  is  no  use  talking.  One  must  come  to  Italy 
through  all  ingenious  obstacles  which  the  inhabitants 
and  the  governments  have  devised  to  render  him  un- 
comfortable. In  obedience  to  this  necessity,  there- 
fore, this  present  epistle  dates  itself  from  Rome, 
from  which  place  at  least  a  hundred  other  epistles 
would  need  to  emanate,  to  express  all  Mr.  B.'s  im- 
pressions upon  the  art,  architecture,  and  ruins,  but 
there  is  a  possibility  that  he  may  abridge  a  little. 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.        221 


CHAPTER     XLIX. 

HERETICAL    VIEWS   ON   THE    SUBJECT   OF   RUINS. 

All  the  ruins  of  Rome,  with  the  exception  of  two 
or  three  arches  and  stray  columns  in  the  vicinity  of 
the  Forum,  and  perhaps  also  the  Pantheon,  besides 
the  tremendous,  magnificent  exception  of  the  Colise- 
um, aren't  worth  an  old  brick-kiln,  and  if  they  were 
not  in  Rome  and  people  were  not  so  desperately 
afraid  of  being  convicted  of  a  want  of  taste,  this 
undoubted  fact  would  be  more  generally  acknowl- 
edged. But  with  this  fear  before  their  eyes  and  sev- 
eral books  full  of  printed  admiration  under  their 
arms,  people  go  stumbling  about  old  shapeless 
masses  of  tottering  brickwork  with  a  few  weeds 
growing  out  of  the  clefts,  down  into  damp  vaults 
covered  with  green  slime  over,  under,  and  around 
what  might  be  the  ruins  of  a  decayed  machine-shop 
or  a  disused  railway  station,  and  merely  because 
these  crumbling  heaps  of  building  material  are  dig- 
nified with  the  names  "  Hadrian's  Villa,"  "Baths  of 


222  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

• 

Titus,"  "  Palace  of  the  CoBsars,"  etc.,  not  one  dare 
whisper  to  his  neighbor  his  real  thoughts,  but  all  vie 
with  each  other  in  hypocritical  rhapsodies  and  pretty 
interjections;  nothing  but  ecstacies  and  exclamation- 
points  from  beginning  to  end ;  and  then  go  home 
with  torn  boots  and  soiled  dresses  and  a  bad  cold,  a 
judgment  no  doubt  for  their  disingenuousness  and 
lack  of  moral  courage.  Of  all  humbugs  deliver  me 
from  these  tiresome,  trumpery,  old,  brick  and  stucco 
humbugs  of  ancient  ruins. 

There  is  enough  in  Rome  that  is  beautiful,  in  her 
exhaustless  treasures  of  art  and  of  architecture  too, 
in  the  unrivalled  glories  of  St.  Peter's  and  many 
other  living  buildings,  and  in  a  few  mutilated  frag- 
ments of  her  departed  grandeur,  without  educating 
one's  reluctant  taste  into  an  admiration  of  things, 
that  are  not  admirable,  just  because  they  are  old  and 
moss-covered  and  weed-grown.  There  is  enough 
that  is  beautiful  and  interesting  and  wonderful  to 
see  in  Rome  and  it  takes  you  a  long  time  to  see  it. 
If  there  happens  to  be  a  masterpiece  of  painting  in 
any  church  in  the  city,  it  is  morally  certain  to  have 
a  green  curtain  over  it,  (the  withdrawing  of  which  is 
a  perquisite  of  the  sexton,)  and  it  is  equally  certain 
to  be  just  the  commencement  of  service  when  you 
arrive,  so  that  it  is  impossible  for  you  to  see  it  and 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  223 

yon  must  come  a£2jain.  I  have  spent  all  my  leisnre 
time  for  a  fortniijjlit  in  going  to  the  church  of  St. 
Augustine  to  see  Raphael's  Fresco  of  Isaiah,  pur- 
posely choosing  different  and  out  of  the  way  hours 
so  as  to  avoid  service.  But  it  is  of  no  use.  The 
old  organ  is  always  going  as  if  it  had  never  a  stop 
to  it,  the  monotonous  drone  of  the  priests  perpetually 
salutes  me  at  my  entrance.  I  know  every  ring  of 
that  everlasting  old  faded  green  curtain,  but  can 
never  prevail  upon  the  solcmn-visaged  sacristan  to 
withdraw  it,  and  have  never  had  a  glimpse  of  the 
Prophet  underneath. 

But  if  it  takes  considerable  time  to  finish  up  the 
sight-seeing  of  the  Eternal  City,  you  are  easily  rec- 
onciled to  the  slowness  of  the  process,  for  a  more 
comfortable  place  to  live  in  would  be  hard  to  find. 
Quarters  fit  for  a  prince,  not  beyond  the  purse  of 
the  poorest  traveller,  all  the  necessaries  of  life  cheap 
and  abundant,  the  noblest  works  of  art,  the  very 
most  beautiful  things  in  the  whole  world,  to  be  seen 
every  day,  the  finest  of  languages  uttered  by  the 
most  melodious  of  voices  ever  within  hearing,  and 
the  most  select  society  of  your  own  nation,  (what- 
ever that  nation  happens  to  be,)  accessible  to  you, 
certainly  I  know  many  more  disagreeable  places  to 
be  detained  in  than  Rome. 


224  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

Let  US  see,  what  have  we  done  to-day  ?  A  rather 
miscellaneous  day's  work  I  think.  First,  the  church 
of  the  Capuchins,  where  we  saw  the  famous  "  Mi- 
chael, the  Archangel,  crushing  Satan,"  of  Guido, 
and  then  went  down  into  the  cellar-cemetery  of  the 
monks,  where  their  bones  are  piled  up  in  regular 
order  on  shelves  and  labelled,  occupying  a  series  of 
rooms  extending  under  the  whole  church.  I  asked 
the  young  friar  who  accompanied  us  if  he  too  would 
get  in  there  at  last.  He  smiled  faintly,  and  echoed 
back  the  syllables  "  at  last."  Then  we  went  to  the 
Spada  Palace  and  saw  the  statue  of  Pompey,  at. 
whose  base  "  great  Csesar  fell "  and  the  Colonna 
Palace,  where  the  gallery  is  much  finer  than  any 
of  the  pictures  in  it,  where  we  noticed  a  painting 
of  "  Christ  preaching  to  the  spirits  in  prison,"  in 
which  a  woman  was  represented  with  a  lapdog  in 
her  arm.  So,  according  to  that  artist,  one  doesn't 
have  to  leave  all  his  possessions  behind  him  when 
he  goes  out  of  this  world.  And  then  we  rode  out 
of  the  city  and  went  into  the  Catacombs  and  into 
the  city  again  and  called  at  Crawford's  studio,  ad- 
mired his  spirited  group,  "  America,"  of  which  we 
saw  only  casts,  as  the  originals  have  departed  to 
adorn  the  Capitol  at  Washington,  also  two  figures  of 
the  unfinished  Richmond  monument,  Patrick  Henry 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  225 

aiul  Thomas  JefTerson,  both  t^xcellent.  Last  of  all  we 
went  to  8t.  Peter's  to  hear  llie  music  at  Vespers, 
and  wander  about  in  the  solemn  twilight  amidst  the 
arches  and  under  the  dome  of  that  grandest  of 
temples  "  made  with  hands."  I  said  last  of  all,  but 
no,  the  last  anil  j)erhaps  the  best  of  all  was  the 
Coliseum  by  moonlight,  the  huge  relic  of  Rome's 
greatness  and  her  barbarism,  silent  now,  but  once 
resounding  with  the  shouts  of  one  hundred  and  fifty 
thousand  human  monsters  applauding  the  brute 
monsters  who  tore  one  another  or  helpless  Christians, 
perhaps,  on  the  bloody  arena.  Now  stands  the  cross 
in  the  centre  of  that  arena  where  thousands  of  its 
followers  have  fallen  martyrs  to  their  faith. 

About  like  this  is  our  usual  day's  work  in  Rome. 
One  great  Festival  has  occurred  during  our  stay, 
Corpus  Christi,  when  the  pope  and  all  tlie  cardi- 
nals and  bishops  arrayed  in  gold  and  scarlet  and 
fine  linen,  and  troops  of  barefooted  friars  equally 
proud  in  their  coarse  woollen  frock  and  hempen 
girdle,  and  hundreds  of  portly  priests  in  robes  of 
black,  with  book  and  candle,  walked  in  stately  pro- 
cession round  the  porticos  in  front  of  St.  Peters,  and 
thousands  upon  thousands,  crowds  upon  crowds, 
acres  upon  acres  of  people  poured  into  that  vast 
building  to  receive    the    pope's  benediction.      Then 

15 


226  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

first  did  I  begin  to  get  some  idea  of  the  size  of  that 
wonderful  structure,  when  I  saw  those  throngs  that 
filled  the  streets  of  a  great  city,  all  flowing  as  it 
were  rivers  into  that  great  sea,  and  found  that  there 
was  still  room,  that  there  were  great  vacant  spaces, 
that  I  could  walk  freely  every  where,  and  could  find 
no  jostling  or  interference  or  any  appearance  of  a 
crowd  in  any  part. 

The  pope  hinnself  was  borne  on  men's  shoulders, 
kneeling  on  a  cushion  before  a  little  table  on  which 
stood  a  crucifix  of  gold,  his  hands  clasped  as  if  in 
prayer.  He  is  a  good  and  venerable  looking  man, 
and  an  ornament  to  any  procession. 


EXPERIENCES   IX   FOREIGN   PARTS.  227 


CHAPTER    L. 

FLORENCE,   THE   BEAUTIFUL. 

If  you  come  to  Florence  to  stop  more  than  a  few 
days,  don't  go  to  a  stupid  hotel  and  pay  two  dollars 
a  day,  but  go  right  to  housekeeping,  and  have  all 
the  fun  of  a  home  of  your  own,  besides  saving  a 
dollar  a  day  to  buy  mosaics  for  your  female  relatives. 
Why,  here  are  five  of  us  who  occupy  a  suite  of  apart- 
ments looking  forth  upon  the  Arno,  on  the  aristo- 
cratic first  floor,  with  four  front  windows  and  a 
balcony,  two  parlors,  a  dining  saloon,  each  of  us  a 
bedroom,  one  or  two  bath-rooms  and  a  kitchen 
which  we  don't  occupy,  all  furnished  in  the  most 
costly  and  tasteful  manner,  with  a  grand  piano  and 
plenty  of  rosewood  and  damask  all  about  us,  and 
for  the  whole,  including  the  service,  (which  is  per- 
formed by  a  rather  tidy  young  woman  with  one 
eye,  who  limps  a  little,)  we  pay  a  quarter  of  a  dollar 
each  per  day.  Then  for  breakfast  we  drop  into  the 
magnificent  cafd  Doney,  the  very  best  coffee-house 


228  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

in  the  whole  world,  and  have  the  most  delightful 
coffee  or  chocolate  and  rolls  and  eggs  and  a  bit  of 
steak,  and  you  will  hardly  be  able  to  order  so  extrava- 
gant a  breakfast  as  to  cost  more  than  twelve  or- fif- 
teen cents,  and  eight  will  commonly  be  enough. 
From  three  to  five  o'clock,  according  to  circum- 
stances, we  dine,  either  at  a  restaurant  or  in  our  own 
rooms,  and  have  an  abundant  dinner  of  three  or 
four  courses  for  less  than  fifty  cents,  so  you  can  have 
a  cup  of  tea  in  the  evening  and  an  ice  when  it  is 
warm  and  yet  come  easily  within  a  dollar  a  day. 

Florence  is  another  of  those  pleasant  places  where 
one  wishes  to  stay  weeks  and  months,  and  enjoy 
the  pl^easant  climate,  and  ride  and  drive  about  the 
beautiful  suburbs,  and  lounge  frequently  and  leisurely 
into  the  magnificent  galleries  of  art,  and  take  time 
to  get  thoroughly  acquainted  with  the  "Venus  de 
Medici"  and  Guercino's  "  Sybil,"  and  the  hundred 
other  masterpieces  that  adorn  the  *  Tribune  "  of  the 
"  Ufficii,"  and  the  Pitti  Palace.  Beautiful  things 
and  beautiful  places  ought  to  be  looked  at  leisurely 
and  many  times,  that  they  may  feed  our  taste, 
make  our  sense  of  the  beautiful  grow  within  us  and 
do  us  that  good  they  are  intended  to  do. 

We  have  enjoyed  our  visits  to  the  artist's  studios 
very  much  indeed.     Powers'  "  America"  is  one  of 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  229 

the  finest  statues  in  the  world  of  modern  art,  and 
has  more  life  and  spirit,  and  glory  about  it,  than  a 
dozen  Greek  slaves  and  Eves.  Mr.  Hart,  from  Ken- 
tucky, has  a  curious  machine  to  take  measurements 
for  busts  and  cojDies,  which  he  says,  saves  about 
two  thirds  the  labor,  and  increases  the  accuracy, 
whose  method  of  operating  he  showed  to  us,  nearly 
putting  out  our  eyes  in  the  process,  with  the  needles 
that  are  used  for  taking  the  "points."  He  has  an 
excellent  bust  of  Mr.  Fillmore,  made  in  this  way 
in  a  few  days,  from  one  or  two  sittings.  I  was  very 
much  interested  in  seeing  an  unfinished  statue  in 
one  of  the  workshops,  where  a  most  lovely  female 
head,  all  perfect  and  complete,  was  rising,  so  to 
speak,  out  of  a  rough,  shapeless  block  of  marble, 
the  ideal  of  llie  artist  effecting  its  escape  from 
its  hard  prison  of  stone. 

A  very  pretty  institution  about  Florence  is  the 
flower  girls,  wlio  go  about  the  streets  every  morn- 
in?,  and  into  the  cafes  where  you  are  at  breakfast, 
giving  you  a  cheerful  "good  morning"  and  a  sweet 
nosegay  of  fragrant  flowers.  There  is  n't  any  bar- 
gain a.nd  sale  about  the  thing.  You  slip  a  piece  of 
money  occasionally  into  her  hand  as  your  liberality 
prompts  you,  (I  never  saw  one  of  them  ask  for 
money,)  and  she  supplies  you  regularly,  and  if  your 


230  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

gifts    are    generous,   will    occasionally   bring   you   a 
regular  beauty  of  a  bouquet  for  your  "  inamorata." 

There  is  a  faded,  old-fashioned,  passed-away 
splendor  about  the  old  ducal  palace  and  the  ca- 
thedral with  its  attendant  buildings  in  Florence, 
as  well  as  those  of  Pisa  which  is  indescribably 
affecting.  You  somehow  feel  tenderly  towards 
them,  walk  softly  over  the  crumbling  pavements, 
speak  low  under  the  venerable  arches,  that  you  may 
not  disturb  the  sleeping  echoes,  you  are  shocked 
to  hear  conceited  visitors  make  flippant,  disparag- 
ing remarks  about  them,  you  would  as  soon  think 
of  criticizing  your  grandmother's  shroud  at  her 
funeral,  you  dislike  even  to  read  books  of  descrip- 
tion of  them,  it  seems  an  irreverent  curiosity  to 
examine  too  minutely  into  their  details,  but  you 
love  to  walk  in  and  around  them  and  meditate, 
you  feel  kindly  in  that  atmosphere,  indisposed  to 
fret  and  grumble,  and  really  get  into  a  more  ami- 
able frame  of  mind,  the  longer  you  remain  in 
their  presence,  or  write  about  them  or  even  read 
of  them.  Don't  you  ?  The  interior  of  the  vast 
old  cathedral  at  Florence,  is  so  severe  in  its  sim- 
plicity and  entire  freedom  from  ornament,  that  you 
would  hardly  think  yourself  in  a  Roman  Catholic 
fane,  but  rather  in  a  huge  puritan  meeting-house. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  231 


CHAPTER   LI. 

THE    BIRTH-PLACE    OF   COLUMBUS. 

[Mr.  B.  foils  into  financial  difficulties,  and  attempts  to  go  third 
class  in  a  Sardinian  steamboat.] 

Scene  —  Steamer  Office. 

Mr.  B.,  (in  a  prompt  business  way,)  "  One  ticket 
third  class  to  Genoa."  Agent,  (after  a  scrutinizing 
glance  at  the  exterior  of  Mr.  B.,)  "  Can't  be  done,  sir." 
Mr.  B.,  (expostulatingly,)  "  What  do  you  mean,  sir? 
Why  do  you  advertise  third  class  tickets  and  then 
refuse  to  sell  them?"  Agent,  (explanatorily,) 
"  We  do  sell  them,  sir,  but  you  are  not  the  sort  of  a 
person  to  go  third"  class."  Mr.  B.,  (indignantly,) 
"Can't  I  judge  for  myself  what  passage  to  take?" 
Agent,  (blandly,)  "  Not  at  all,  we  sell  third  class  tick- 
ets only  to  sailors  and  servants."  Mr.  B.,  "  Well, 
then,  I  am  a  servant."  Agent,  (a  little  taken  aback,) 
"  What  is  the  name  of  your  master  ?  Does  he  go  on 
the  same  boat  ?  "  Mr.  B.,  "  My  master  at  present  is 
Necessity.     I  rather  think  he  goes  along  with  me." 


232  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

Agent,  (perceiving  the  joke,)  "  Monsieur  Necessity  is 
not  booked  for  this  trip,  and  tlie  servant  must  always 
accoiiipany  his  master,  so  you  can't  go  in  that  capac- 
ity you  see."  'Mr.  B.,  finding  that  steamboat  com- 
panies have  no  bowels,  reluctantly  drags  out  his 
last  Napoleon  from  the  shrunken  recesses  of  his  ex- 
hausted purse,  pays  for  a  second  class  ticket,  and 
wonders  how  much  of  a  breakfast  he  can  get  in 
Genoa  for  the  franc  and  a  half  change  he  receives. 

Genoa  is  a  city  of  bookbinders  and  the  very  para- 
dise of  bill-stickers.  There  is  here  no  defence  against 
paste.  Every  wall,  house,  palace,  and  shop  is  cov- 
ered with  notices,  advertisements,  all  sorts  of  hand- 
bills. The  palaces  of  this  "  city  of  palaces "  are 
shams  mostly,  nothing  but  an  imposing  front  and 
magnificent  staircase.  Recollecting  that  there  ought 
to  be  some  autograph  letters  of  Columbus  to  be  seen 
somewhere  in  Genoa,  proceeded  to  make  inquiries 
which  became  at  last  rather  extensive  and  resulted 
in  the  statistical  facts,  that  there  are  probably  in  all 
five  Genoese  who  have  heard  of  Christopher  Colum- 
bus, one  of  whom  is  the  proprietor  of  the  "  Hotel  of 
the  Great  Columbus,"  and  another  of  tjie  "  Caf6  Co- 
lumbus;" that  three  persons  in  the  city  have  heard 
of  the  letters  and  assigned  to  me  three  distinct 
places  of  deposit  for  them,  all  which  I  visited  inef- 


EXPEKIEXCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  233 

fectually,  but  did  at  last  find  IIhmu  in  a  palace  where 
the  porter  had  twice  sent  me  away  with  the  most 
strenuous    denial    of  their  existence.     They  are    in 
Spanish,  very  legible,  and  have  recently  been  placed 
under  glass,  because  a  gentleman  from  Boston  tore 
otr  and    carried    away    a   corner   of  one    of    them. 
Here  I  ought  to  mention  the  most  remarkable  and 
astonishing  incident  that  ever  occurred  in  the  whole 
range  of  my  experience.     The  custodian  of  those  let- 
ters deliberately  and  decisively  refused  the  two  francs 
fee  I  offered  him  for  showing  tliem  to  me  I      And  he 
manifested  no  other  evidence 'of  derangement  either. 
The  people  of  Genoa  seem  the  busiest  of  all  races? 
especially    in   contrast   with   the    lazy   Italians    and 
Turks  whom  we  have  been  accustomed  to  see  for 
the  last  few  months.     They  make  velvets  and  silk 
goods,  oceans  of  books,  vast  quantities  of  cabinet 
furniture,   and   iron    bedsteads    enough    for   all    the 
world  to  sleep  upon,  as  well  as  enough  to  keep  all 
the  world  awake  with  the  clatter  of  making  them. 
The  women  are  not  so  universally  black-eyed  as  in 
the  rest  of  Italy,  dress  somewhat  plainly,  but  wear 
a  very  neat  and  graceful  headdress  consisting  of  a 
simple  breadth  of  white  lace  thrown  over  the  head 
and  falling  about  the  shoulders. 


234  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

P.  S.  —  Mr.  B.  lias  relieved  himself  from  the  pecu- 
niary diiliciilties  above  referred  to,  after  the  manner 
of  most  of  the  great  European  Powers,  by  negotiat- 
ing a  loan. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  23o 


CHAPTER    LI  I. 


THE   NIGHT   DILIGENCE. 


Prouadly  you  have  all  of  you  a  more  or  less  definite 
idea  of  the  meaning  of  the  word  "frontier,"  but  if 
you  wish  to  go  into  all  its  niceties,  to  get  a  realizing 
sense  of  its  length,  breadth,  and  depth,  you  must 
come  to  Italy.  Here  is  the  Italian  for  ^^ Crossing-  a 
Frontier" 

The  Diligence  which  left  Turin  (I  should  say  No- 
vara,  which  is  connected  with  Turin  by  railway,)  at 
nine,  P.  M.,  is  rolling  sluggishly  along  over  the  mac- 
adamized road.  The  six  inside  passengers,  whereof 
your  correspondent  is  (a  corner)  one,  are  coiled  up  in 
various  uncomfortable  positions,  trying  to  unite  to- 
gether little  broken  naps  into  a  connected  sleep.  A 
cloud  of  pulverized  stone  is  depositing  itself  in  gray 
strata  over  the  persons  of  the  slumbering  travellers, 
settling  in  their  hair  and  whiskers,  filling  up  the 
wrinkles,  drifting  iiitci  the  corners  of  the  eyes  and 
mouth,  titillating  the  nasal  passages,  gradually  ehok- 


236  MR.    DUNN   BROWNE'S 

ing  up  the  air-vessels  in  the  lungs,  and  diffusing  it- 
self generally  along  with  the  atmosphere.  Suddenly, 
all  these  interesting  processes  are  suspended  by  the 
coach's  stopping  in  front  of  a  low,  black  building, 
recognizable  at  once  by  an  old  traveller  as  a  custom- 
house. The  everlasting  policeman  calls  for  the  ever- 
lasting passports,  and  the  conductor  requests  the  pas- 
sengers to  descend,  and  descend  we  accordingly  do, 
coughing,  spitting,  and  choking  with  the  avalanches 
of  dnst  which  take  that  opportunity  to  descend  also 
from  our  coats  and  hats.  Ladders  are  placed  against 
the  sides  of  the  huge  diligence,  porters  mount  and 
bring  down  all  our  sacks,  trunks,  portmanteaus,  and 
bandboxes,  not  forgetting  to  ask  a  "  buono  mano," 
which  is  the  Italian  for  "  backsheesh,"  from  each  one 
of  us  for  the  operation.  Then  the  baggage  all  goes 
into  a  large  room,  on  one  side  of  a  great  bench,  and 
we  on  the  other,  every  thing  is  unlocked,  rummaged, 
re-locked  and  packed  again  on  the  top  of  the  Dili- 
gence, the  porters  not  forgetting  to  ask  you  for 
another  "  buono  mano "  for  putting  it  up  again. 
Then  we  are  marched  off"  in  Indian  file  to  the  pass- 
port room,  and  one  by  one,  answering  to  our  names, 
(dreadfully  mispronounced,)  receive  back  the  docu- 
ments with  the  small  charge  of  four  francs  attached 
to  each.     "  For  what?"  ask  we.     "  Oh,  for  the  per- 


i 


EXPERIENCES   IX   FOREIGN   I'AKTS.  237 

mission  to  leave  Sardinia,  tiie  visd  of  the  Minister  of 
Foreign  Affairs."  "  Ah,  the  Alinisler  of  Foreign  Af- 
fairs lives  here  in  ihis  little 'frontier  town,  does  he, 
and  sits  up  till  one  o'clock  at  night  to  attend  to  our 
passes?  "  "  No,  he  lives  at  Turin,  but  has  an  agent 
here."  "  All  right,  happy  to  pay  any  reasonable 
amount  for  the  privilege  of  leavings  your  blessed  coun- 
try," exclaimed  my  friend  in  the  opposite  corner,  who 
wasn't  apt  to  be  in  a  very  amiable  frame  of  mind 
when  broken  of  his  rest,  and  we  rolled  on  in  a  cloud 
of  entirely  new  dust,  evincing  by  its  taste  a  totally 
different  geological  formation  of  the  country  we  were 
entering  from  that  we  had  just  left. 

But  scarcely  had  the  grumblings  of  my  irritable 
friend  ceased,  as  his  head  subsided  again  into  the 
dusty  cushions,  when,  lo  I  the  coach  draws  up  for  the 
second  time  before  a  long,  low  building,  the  very 
counterpart  of  the  other,  and  the  demand  for  ])ass- 
ports  is  renewed  by  a  policeman  in  a  dress  of  differ- 
ent and  still  uglier  pattern.  "  What,"  exclaimed  my 
friend,  starting  to  his  feet  in  a  theatrical  manner, 
"  must  I  go  over  this  confounded  performance  again, 
in  my  dreams  ?  "  Having  enlightened  him  as  to  the 
precise  state  of  the  case,  and  succeeded  at  last  in 
fully  waking  him,  we  descended,  and  composedly 
went  through  the  examination  of  selves,  passes,  and 


238  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

baggage  for  entering  Austrian  Lonibardy,  in  the 
same  manner  as  we  had  already  done  for  leaving 
Sardinian  Piedmont.  When  the  officer  asked  me  if 
I  had  any  thing  subject  to  duty  among  my  effects,  I 
showed  him  the  little  carpet  bag  weighing  eight 
pounds  which  had  formed  my  only  "  impedimenta  " 
for  six  months,  and  told  him  I  really  didn't  know 
whether  shirts  were  dutiable  in  the  Austrian  domin- 
ions or  not,  but  there  were  three  which  had  been  ex- 
amined thirteen  times  within  a  few  weeks,  and  he 
was  welcome  to  inspect  them  again.  He  smiled  as 
he  told  me  I  needn't  trouble  myself  to  unlock,  and 
passed  on. 

Now  this  little  sketch  of  frontier  experience  is 
only  a  simple,  unexaggerated,  every-day  incident  of 
travel  in  Italy,  —  examination  to  go  out  of  and  to  go 
into  every  separate  state,  if  it  isn't  larger  than  an  Il- 
linois corn  field.  And  the  trouble  and  expense  incur- 
red in  the  capitals  in  the  way  of  visds  and  police  ex- 
penses is  far  greater  than  at  the  frontiers.  Already 
has  my  poor  passport  cost  me  twenty-five  dollars  in 
six  weeks'  Italian  experience,  a  sum  considerably 
greater  than  I  have  yet  contributed  in  taxes  to  my 
own  government.  But  perhaps  we  ought  not  to 
grudge  to  these  poverty-stricken  Italian  governments 
one  of  their  chief  sources  of  revenue. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  239 


CHAPTER      LTTI. 

ON   FOOT   AMONG    THE   ALPS. 

Sivitzciiand,  July,  1856. 
You  may  think  this  is  so  small  and  insignificant 
a  country  that  the  above  is  quite  a  definite  location 
for  the  date  of  a  letter,  but  after  walking  over  its 
hills  and  mountains  a  couple  of  weeks,  as  I  have 
done,  you  would  change  your  mind,  and  conclude 
that  Switzerland  is  a  land  of  respectable  size  after 
all.  Indeed,  my  only  reason  for  not  being  more 
precise  in  dating  is  that  I  have  really  forgotten 
exactly  where  I  am  when  inditing  this  epistle,  so 
long  a  time  has  since  elapsed,  for  though  I  am  ap- 
parently here  and  now,  yet  as  a  matter  of  fact  I 
am  away  down  in  Holland,  and  in  the  latter  part 
of  next  week.  Hoping  that  this  somewhat  meta- 
physical explanation  may  be  perfectly  satisfactory, 
I  proceed  to  remark  that  the  reason  why  Switzer- 
land occupies  no  larger  space  on  the  map,  is  prob- 
ably the  same  which  led  the  Scotchman  to  assert 


240  Mil.  DUNN  Browne's 

that  his  own  country  was  larger  than  England,  if 
it  were  only  Jlatlened  out.  This  country  is  so  folded 
and  wrinkled  up  like  the  hide  of  a  rhinoceros  that, 
of  course,  it  does  n't  get  its  rights  among  the  family 
of  nations.  I  hope  that  wlien  the  Great  Powers 
"  revise  the  map  of  Europe,"  as  they  have  so  often 
threatened  to  do  of  late,  they  will  bear  this  i]]  mind, 
and  not  crowd  Switzerland  into  a  mere  little  red 
daub  between  great  yellow  France  and  blue  Austria, 
as  has  hitherto  been  done. 

The  experiences  of  your  correspondent  amidst 
the  Alps  have  not  been  very  remarkable,  save  that, 
of  course,  every  day  he  has  walked  it  has  rained 
hard,  and  every  day  he  has  proceeded  by  diligence 
it  hasn't  rained  at  all,  but  been  quite  hot  and  dusty. 
The  "  order  of  our  going,"  during  our  recent  pedes- 
trian excursion  of  ten  or  twelve  days,  over  the  prin- 
cipal mountain  passes,  has  been  something  on  this 
wise.  First  advances  our  forlorn  hope,  the  Professor, 
with  enthusiasm  in  his  eye,  and  a  stick  cut  from  the 
top  of  Parnassus  in  his  hand,  (which  stick  he  is 
perpetually  dropping  and  picking  up,)  with  unflag- 
ging step,  and  unfailing  cheerfulness,  with  an  eye  for 
every  picturesque  view,  an  ear  for  each  echo  of  the 
Alpine  horn,  and  a  handful  of  coppers  for  every 
beggar  that  accosts  him.     Deeming  it  his  duty  to  be 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  241 

romantic,  at  least  this  onco  in  liis  lifo,  lio  conscien- 
tiously  goes  into  cestacies  over  every  glacier,  scru- 
pulously makes  the  appropriate  quotations  at  the  sub- 
lime points  of  view,  hears  the  roar  of  an  avalanche 
in  every  thunder  crash,  looks  sharp  for  a  chamois  on 
each  projecting  crag,  and  sees  a  William  Tell  in 
every  mountain  shepherd  boy. 

Next,  with  alert  step  and  beaming  countenance, 
with  a  quotation  from  Byron  or  a  scrap  of  song 
on  his  lips,  bearing  a  huge  Alpenstock,  to  which  he 
pertinaciously  clings  under  some  insane  notion  that 
the  heavy  thing  assists  liim  in  climbing,  cnmcs  our 
youthful  Richard.  He  sports  an  unexceptionable 
moustache,  is  our  oracle  on  all  matters  of  dress,  and 
gives  very  liberally  to  the  little  maidens  who  li(>  in 
wait  for  us  at  every  corner  to  sing  the  "  Ranz  des 
vaches."  He  has  a  habit  of  occasionally  indulging 
in  a  "quiet  laugh,"  which  can  be  easily  heard  at  a  dis- 
tance of  three  miles,  and  fully  intends  to  purchase  an 
umbrella  if  the  rain  doesn't  cease  within  a  fortnight. 

Last  of  all,  under  a  slouched  hat  which  the  Pro- 
fessor has  at  last,  after  repeated  controversy,  ac-" 
knowledged  to  be  a  worse  looking  tile  than  his  own, 
appears  your  veritable  historian,  bringing  up  the 
rear  with  plodding  steps,  caring  little  for  the  pelting 
of  the  rain  upon  his  own  person,  but  watching  as  a 

16 


242  IMK.   DUNN  buowne's 

mother  for  an  infant  over  the  safety  of  a  small  packet 
of  provisions  which  he  refuses  to  intrust  to  any 
other  care,  stopping  occasionally  to  pluck  a  dande- 
lion, (of  which  he  has  an  extensive  collection  gathered 
in  various  quarters  of  the  world,)  delighting  at  times 
in  getting  before  his  companions  by  a  short  cut,  so 
as  to  sit  down  quietly  on  a  stone,  and  enjoy  their 
astonishment  on  coming  up,  rejoicing  especially  to 
get  to  the  end  of  the  day's  journey,  and,  if  the 
truth  must  be  told,  not  quite  able  to  perceive  the 
amusement  of  walking  thirty  miles  a  day  in  the 
rain. 

The  Professor  is  classical,  Richard  is  poetical,  and 
Mr.  Browne  is  decidedly  practical.  When  we  pass 
along  the  base  of  a  perpendicular  Alpine  peak  of 
granite,  Richard  calls  it  a  cloud-capped  giant,  the 
Professor  terms  it  one  of  nature's  grand  old  Gothic 
cathedrals,  —  while  to  Mr.  Browne's  matter-of-fact 
eyes  it  is  just  a  great  stone  mountain. 


EXPEIUEXCES   IX    FOREIGN   PARTS.  243 


CHAPTER    LIV. 

INDEPENDENCE   AMONG    THE    CLOUDS. 

Summit  of  Rigi,  July  4,  1856. 

Now  mind,  I  don't  wish  to  be  understood  at  all 
as  attempting  to  disparage  clouds,  in  a  general  way. 
They  are  exceedingly  poetical,  no  doubt,  floating  in 
the  blue  ether  over  our  heads,  of  a  summer's  day, 
or  in  a  storm,  forming  the  dark  backgi-ound  for  the 
lightning's  fiery  pictures.  They  are  also  not  only 
ornamental  but  useful  occasionally,  in  shielding  us 
from  the  burning  rays  of  the  sun,  hot  days,  and  on 
rainy  days,  in  promoting  the  growth  of  vegetables, 
as  well  as  the  sale  of  umbrellas. 

But  when  you  come  up  into  the  region  of  clouds, 
and  can't  see,  feel,  or  taste  any  thing  but  cloud ; 
when  you  are  soaked,  drenched,  completely  satu- 
rated with  cloud;  are  compelled  to  eat  cloud,  drink 
cloud,  breathe  cloud  ;  thick  cloud  shutting  oli'  all 
prospect  from  your  eyes  and  all  hope  from  your 
heart ;  cold  cloud  chilling  the  very  marrow  of  your 


244  MR.  DUXN  Browne's 

bones,  and  standing  in  clammy  drops  on  your  brow; 
intrusive  cloud  that  will  not  be  shut  out  of  your 
room  by  double  windows,  which  forms  a  foggy  halo 
round  your  candle,  hangs  a  pall-like  curtain  about 
your  bed,  and  piles  itself  in  heavy  folds  upon  you  as 
you  sleep,  inspiring  nightmare,  unpleasant  dreams 
of  drowning,  suffocation,  boa-constrictors  —  ugh  I  I 
assure  you,  the  enchantment  of  clouds  diminishes  in- 
versely as  the  square  of  the  distance,  and  an  inti- 
mate acquaintance  with  them  destroys  all  poetry. 
Clouds,  in  short,  like  candies,  gingerbread,  kisses, 
courtship,  and  all  other  luxuries,  must  n't  be  made 
too  common. 

On  the  whole,  it  must  be  confessed  this  is  not  a 
favorable  morning  for  ascending  an  Alpine  moun- 
tain to  get  a  view.  There  is  not  that  variety  and 
extent  of  prospect  sometimes  spoken  of  by  travel- 
lers. My  whole  visible  horizon  at  present  com- 
prises a  plat  of  gi'ound  three  rods  in  diameter, 
one  forlorn  cow,  three  of  the  meekest  of  sheep, 
and  several  dripping,  low-spirited  hens.  Indeed, 
"  not  to  put  too  fine  a  point  upon  it,"  this  climbing 
the  Rigi  to  spend  the  Fourth  of  July,  is  a  humbug, 
—  a  weary,  moist,  up-hill,  tiresome,  puffing,  perspir- 
ing, chilly,  foggy  humbug ;  to  be  surpassed  only  by 
that  ^national  independence  we  this  day  celebrate, 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  24o 

which  is  the  most  stapendons  and  doplorabh^  hiiin- 
bng  on  the  face  of  the  earth  if  we  arc  to  judge  by 
the  goings  on  in  Washington  and  in  Kansas  for  the 
last  twelvemonth.  I  cannot  help  thinking  that  the 
clouds  and  darkness  which  envelop  us  here  on  this 
Alpine  summit,  as  we  forlornly  celebrate  our  nation's 
birthday,  are  a  fitting  emblem  of  the  present  condition 
and  future  prospects  of  our  Ijeloved  country.  We 
discern  one  gleam  of  light,  however,  in  the  great 
republican  movement  now  happily  inaugurated,  and 
send  up  a  united  shout  for  "Freedom  and  Fremont," 
which  quite  astonishes  the  inhabitants  of  these  be- 
nighted regions,  and  calls  forth  a  responsive  crow 
from  the  undismayed  chanticleer  of  the  establish- 
ment. 

We  have  just  been  examining  by  (means  of  an 
excellent  map)  the  magnificent  panorama  (in)  visi- 
ble from  the  summit  of  Rigi,  and  surely  the  most 
vivid  imagination  can  hardly  picture  to  itself  any 
thing  at  all  approaching  the  glorious  reality.  Far 
in  the  distance  the  lofty  j)eaks  of  the  Bernese  Alps, 
thrusting  their  iieads  \\p  through  their  covering  of 
.  snow,  like  naughty  giants  that  won't  stay  buried, 
but  must  be  continually  poking  their  noses  out  of 
their  windingsheet;  near  at  hand  the  ])eacefnl  lakes 
of  Lucerne  and  Zug,  slumbering  below  us,  like  gen- 


246  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

tie  maidens  taking  their  rest,  with  a  drapery  of  green 
fore:?ts  wrapped  gracefully  about  them,  and  white 
villages  glittering  like  gems  upon  their  breast;  north, 
east,  and  west,  good  old  Mother  Earth  smiling  upon 
us,  clothed  in  her  rich  gingham  of  cultivated  fields, 
with  the  rivers  Reuss  and  Aar  flowing  like  silver  rib- 
bons over  her  ample  bosom,  and  doubling  themselves 
into  more  curious  knots  and  bows  than  ever  blessed 
the  dreams  of  Parisian  milliner;  to  the  south-west 
the  white  veiled  novice  Jungfrau,  lifting  her  head  in 
virgin  purity  towards  heaven  as  it  were  in  w^ors'hip ; 
while  over  against  her,  to  the  north-west,  grim  Pila- 
tus,  with  a  AATeath  of  thunderclouds  round  his  brow*, 
frowns  upon  the  edifying  spectacle.  Dear  me!  I 
am  not  at  all  certain  I  could  have  written  you  so 
poetical  a  description  if  it  were  not  for  the  clouds 
and  mists  that  have  concealed  the  reality  from  my 
view.     Yours,  dimly. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  247 


CHAPTER    LV. 


DOWN   THE   RHINE. 


Everybody  goes  down  the  Rhine,  and  therefore, 
of  course,  I  did.  Everybody  has  written  a  descrip- 
tion of  it,  and  therefore,  of  course,  I  shall  not.  An 
equally  good  reason  in  both  cases,  though  the  con- 
clusions arrived  at  are  a  little  contradictory.  Be- 
cause, for  instance,  everybody  wears  coats,  therefore 
you  and  I  must  needs  do  the  same,  but  if  everybody 
were  becoming  tailors  that  would  not  be  a  good 
reason  for  our  taking  to  the  goose ;  on  the  contrary, 
we  should  be  geese  if  we  did.  Because  everybody 
reads  the  Republican  is  a  sufficient  reason  (even  if 
there  were  not  others  still  better)  for  my  reading  it, 
but  if  everybody  should  take  to  writing  for  it,  I 
should  stop. 

The  Rhine  is  a  very  large  river,  (although  it  is  not 
in  America,)  with  its  scenery  generally  flat  and  un- 
interesting, bnt  about  one  hundred  miles  of  it,  from 
Rudesheim  to  Bonn  is  just  as  picturesque  and  beau- 


248  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

tiful  as  it  has  been,  or  can  be  described  to  be ;  an 
ever  varying  succession  of  the  wildest  ravines,  the 
raggedest  cliffs,  the  most  verdant  meadows,  the  neat- 
est vineyards",*  the  most  delightful  old  brigand  castles, 
mountains,  villages,  churches,  ruins,  echoes,  palaces, 
forests,  historical  associations,  fairy  legends,  ghosts, 
giants,  grottos,  and  caverns ;  nothing  but  poetry, 
chivalry,  romance,  and  enchantment,  all  which  our 
party  entered  into  with  the  greatest  zest,  seated  on 
the  deck  of  our  steamer,  wrapped  in  all  the  overcoats, 
shawls,  and  blankets  we  could  muster;  for  this  month 
of  July  here  in  Europe  has  been  so  much  like  a 
New  England  March,  that  you  couldn't  tell  the  two 
apart  if  you  saw  them  side  by  side,  unless  it  were 
by  an  occasional  patch  of  snow-bank  on  the  back  of 
the  latter.  The  Professor  rubbed  his  hands  together, 
sometimes  with  the  cold,  and  sometimes  with  enthu- 
siasm, as  a  sudden  turn  in  the  river  unfolded  a  par- 
ticularly glorious  scene  before  our  eyes.  "  Our 
Richard"  shivered,  now  with  emotion  at  the  recital 
of  some  dark  legend  connected  with  a  ruined  tower 
we  were  passing,  and  now  from  the  effects  of  the 
blast  which  swept  up  against  us  from  the  north.  As 
to  the  third  individual  in  that  trio  of  worthies,  (ex- 
cuse my  not  being  more  definite  ;  "  modesty,"  etc.,) 
it  would  have  done  your  heart  good  to  see  with  what 


EXPERIENCES    IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  249 

bravery  and  constancy  he  clung  to  his  Murray 
through  rain  and  cold,  with  an  eye  on  either  bank  to 
catch  every  tower  and  ruin  and  castle  as  we  glided 
by,  and  a  finger  to  ciieck  oR'  the  same  on  the  page 
of  the  infallible  red-covered  handbook.  Ah  who  so 
happy  as  he  when  his  task  was  over,  and  we  were 
relieved  from  our  watch  on  deck  i)y  the  announce- 
ment of  the  veracious  Murray  that  the  scenery  below 
Bonn  was  tame  and  uninteresting. 

And  here  I  think  I  may  be  allowed  an  apostrophe, 
a  figure  of  speech,  in  which  yon  must  acknowledge, 
dear  reader,  I  don't  often  indulge.  Oh,  thou  pre- 
cious companion  of  continental  travellers,  indispen- 
sable Murray  I  Who  can  estimate  the  blessings 
which  thy  score  of  ponderous  volumes  (at  the  small 
charge  of  ten  and  sixpence  each)  have  inflicted  on 
tourists  of  every  age,  sex,  and  condition  ?  How 
comfortable,  on  all  occasions,  amidst  the  works  of 
nature  and  of  art,  before  a  cascade  or  a  cartoon,  to 
know  exactly  when  to  admire,  and  how  much  to  ad- 
mire, what  to  praise  and  what  to  criticize,  to  have 
your  emotions  measured  out  to  you  in  appropriate 
doses,  your  caiwns  of  criticism  always  ready  charged 
under  your  arm,  to  be  never  in  danger  of  making  mis- 
takes in  praising  or  sneering  at  the  wrong  thing,  to 
have  your  whole  tour  properly  punctuated  for  you,  the 


250  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

exclamation  points  and  notes  of  admiration  thrown  in 
correctly.  Ah  me !  What  a  pity  that  the  diminutive 
size  of  my.  carpet-bag  has  prevented  me  from  carrying 
this  whole  rAl-covered  library  around  with  me !  I 
am  afraid  I  have  admired  many  things  at  which  I 
ought  to  have  turned  up  my  nose  in  disgust,  and  found 
fault  with  other  things  which  were  faultless,  thus 
misleading  and  perverting  the  taste  of  others  in 
these  poor  letters  of  mine,  which  were  intended  solely 
for  their  instruction  and  improvement. 

And  then,  looking  at  the  matter  merely  in  a  pe- 
cuniary point  of  view,  just  see  how  well  Murray  re- 
pays the  various  ten  shillings  and  sixpences  invested 
in  him.  By  his  aid,  even  in  this  short  ramble  of  four 
weeks  through  Switzerland  and  down  the  Rhine,  I 
have  seen  no  less  than  four  "  magnificent  views," 
each  of  which  "  is  worth  the  journey  from  England 
to  see,"  that  is,  at  a  low  estimate,  one  hundred  dol- 
lars apiece,  two  that  "repay  one  for  crossing  the  At- 
lantic," and  of  course,  at  the  present  high  rates  of 
passage  couldn't  be  called  less  than  three  hundred 
dollars  each,  three  or  four  others  (say  three)  that  are 
unrivalled,  and  therefore  must  be  worth  as  much  as 
the  preceding,  but  to  be  moderate  we  will  call  them 
two  hundred  dollars  each  and  see  how  the  bill  foots 
up:— 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  251 

Four  landscape  \\o.ws  of  Alps,  etc.,  SlOO  each,  S400 
Two            "             "             "          at   300         '^  COO 

Three        "  "  "  200         "  CuO 


Total,         $l,t;00 

This,  too,  not  iiiclmling  sundry  snnaller  affairs,  cas- 
cades, waterfalls,  glaciers,  picturesque  hamlets,  etc. 
etc.,  which,  at  the  most  liberal  discount  for  "taking 
the  lot,"  would  probably  swell  the  amount  to  two 
thousand  dollars  at  least,  and  all,  be  it  remembered, 
in  four  weeks. 

As  I  had  lirmly  resolved  never  to  return  to  Amer- 
ica till  I  had  seen  Holland,  J  left  my  companions  at 
Cologne  and  went  on  down-  the  Rhine  to  Utrecht 
and  Middleburgh  and  Amsterdam,  in  which,  as  well 
as  the  other  Dutch  cities,  I  climbed  up  all  the  high 
towers,  resolutely  disregarding  the  com])laints  of  my 
pedal  extremities,  and  thus  probably  saw  as  much 
of  this  delectable  country  as  most  travellers  do,  at 
least  I  saw  it  all  several  times  over,  and  very  refresh- 
ing to  the  eye  is  the  tame,  regular,  chequered  sceiiery 
of  Holland,  the  straight  rows  of  trees  and  the  placid 
canals,  after  tlie  wild,  ragged,  irregular,  rough-and- 
tumble  landscapes  of  Switzerland.  After  all  the 
ecstasies  people  go  into  over  the  picturesque,  roman- 
tic, and  sublime,  give  me  a  gooti,  honest  Dutch 
landscape,  with  some  fat  cows  and  a  few  rows  of 
cabbages  in  it. 


252  MR.    DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER    LVI. 

REPOSES   IN   HOLLAND. 

I  HAVE  just  returned    from   Broek,  "  the  cleanest 
village  in  the  world,"  containing  twelve  hundred  in- 
habitants, situate  about  five  miles   (or  three    hours 
ride  in  a  Dutch  canal  boat)  from  Amsterdam.     It  is 
indeed  a. very  clean  place,  but  a  strict  regard  for  truth 
compels  me  to  say  that  I  saw  considerable  dirt  in 
one  of  the  cabbage  gardens,  and  the  gate  handle  of 
one  backyard    was    not  scoured  to   that  degree   of 
brightness  I  had  been  led  to  expect.     Moreover,  in 
the  only  stable  that  I  visited,  the  cows'  tails  were 
not  tied  up  to  the  beams  above  with  blue  ribbons,  as 
I  had  read  in  the  accounts  of  travellers,  and  the  in- 
quiries which  I  instituted  on  this  point  have  resulted 
in  convincing  me  that  this  is  a  mere  pleasant  exag- 
geration indulged  in  by  those  waggish  narrators,  and 
bv    no  means  a  literal    fact.     The    streets    are    not 
streets  at  all,  but  neat,  little,  brick-paved  walks  wind- 
ing about  in  various  directions  among  the  houses, 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.       253 

sometimes  in Tront  and  sometimes  in  the  rear,  con- 
fined by  curiou:^ly-^vrougllt  wooden  or  iron  fences,  or 
perhaps  .here  and  there  by  a  hedge  closely  clipped 
and  carved  into  fantastic  shapes.  The  iiouses  have 
no  resemblance  to  one  another,  and  are  so  difficult  to 
be  described  and  to  get  a  proper  idea  of  when  de- 
scribed, that  I  shall  leave  them  to  your  imagination, 
assuring  you  that  whatever  pictures  you  may  form 
to  yourselves  of  them  will  be  certain  to  be  totally 
wrong.  The  trees  are  short,  chubby,  and  symmetrical, 
having  a  decidedly  artificial  appearance,  educated 
quite  too  much  like  many  persons  of  my  acquaintance. 
The  men  seemed  to  be  all  absent  from  the  town. 
The  women  had  their  dresses  pinned  up  behind,  every 
one  a  scrubbing  brush  in  her  hand,  and  a  ))ail  of 
soap-suds  by  her  side.  -The  children  were  just  let 
out  from  school,  and  ranging  themselves  in  rows 
each  side  o^  the  way,  cap  in  hand,  slate  under  the 
arm  and  satchel  on  the  back,  saluted  me  with  great 
gravity  and  })oliteness.  Obtained  the  guidance  of  a 
pair  of  them,  little  blue-eyed,  white-aproned  girls, 
with  caps  on  such  as  my  grandmother  used  to  wear, 
who  conducted  me  to  a  large  dairy,  where  I  was  in- 
itiated into  all  the  curious  mysteries  of  Dutch 
cheese-making  by  a  damsel  as  fair  and  round,  and 
solid,  as  any  cheese  of  them  all.     Returned  to  my 


254  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

canal  boat  in  a  state  of  great  self-satisfaction  at  hav- 
ing seen  so  much  of  this  paragon  of  Dutch  towns, 
and  rode  dreamily  back  to  Amsterdam,  seated  by 
the  side  of  the  huge  skipjDer,  who  only  opened  his 
mouth  to  emit  smoke,  and  directed  all  the  move- 
ments of  his  crew,  (i.  e.  the  helmsman  and  the  boy 
who  rode  the  horse,)  by  waving  his  pipe. 

The  canals  hereabouts  are  ten  or  fifteen  feet  higher 
than  the  adjacent  country,  and  it  is  curious  enough 
to  see  the  canal  boats  in  the  distance,  and  even 
sometimes  a  large  ship  with  its  masts  all  standing, 
gliding  along  on  a  level  with  the  housetops,  plunging 
into  a  group  of  windmills  or  haystacks,  and  bringing 
up  at  last  on  the  roofs  apparently  of  a  remote  vil- 
lage. 

Amsterdam  is  an  amphibious  city,  half  land  and 
two-thirds  water ;  most  of  the  streets  being  canals 
and  drawbridges  ;  very  nearly  another  yenice  with- 
out the  gondolas  and  faded  palaces  and  historical 
associations ;  in  short,  a  neat,  clean,  Dutch  Venice 
built  of  bgricks  and  colored  tiles.  It  is  the  finest  brick- 
built  city  in  the  world  without  a  doubt.  Nothing 
but  seeing  can  give  you  any  idea  of  the  wonderful 
variety  of  beautiful  and  picturesque  forms  into 
which  Dutch  architects  will  contrive  to  pile  up 
bricks.     No  two  houses  will  be  alike,  each  will  be  a 


EXPERIENCES   IN    FOREIGN    PARTS.  255 

stiuly  of  itself,  and  yet  there  will  be  a  general  resem- 
blance enough  to  preserve  the  proper  uniformity  of 
a  street.  I  wandered  about  Amsterdam  nearly  a 
week  without  ever  getting  tired  of  its  streets  and  ca- 
nals, of  its  clean,  healthy-looking  people,  (it  is  my 
deliberate  opinion,  which  I  am  prepared  to  defend  to 
the  last  extremity,  that  the  Dutch  arc  the  handsome- 
est  and  the  politest  race  of  people  on  the  face  of  the 
globe,)  of  its  plump  jolly  ships,  its  warehouses, 
wharves,  bridges,  and  dykes,  of  its  tall  spires,  huge 
organs,  fat  palaces,  and  resplendent  picture  galleries. 
Leaving  Amsterdam,  your  correspondent  attended  a 
festival  at  Haarlem  where  seventy-five  thousand 
Dutchmen  were  assembled  to  do  honor  to  the  mem- 
ory of  Coster,  an  ingenious  ancestor  of  theirs,  whom 
they  persist  in  calling  the  true,  first,  and  sole  inventor 
of  the  art  of  printing,  to  the  utter  exclusion  of  the 
claims  of  Guttemburg,  who,  not  being  a  Dutchman, 
of  course  couldn't  have  hit  upon  the  invention. 
Afterwards,  we  proceeded  to  the  Hague,  where  is 
the  finest  park  of  beech  trees  that  can  be  imagined, 
and  Paul  Potter's  celebrated  picture  of  the  Bull,  to 
say  nothing  about  a  few  palaces  and  kings  and 
princes  that  we  had  n't  time  to  visit :  buried  our- 
selves one  day  in  the  dead  old  city  of  Leyden,  of 
Pilgrim  memory,  and  passed  through  Rotterdam  on 


256  MR.  DUXN  Browne's 

out  of  Holland  into  Belgium  to  the  good  city  of  Ant- 
werp, where  is  the  only  really  admirable  picture 
Rubens  ever  painted,  the  "Descent  from  the  Cross," 
as  well  as  many  other  notable  things,  and  whence 
we  shall  soon  embark  for  "  Merrie  England." 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.        2o7 


CHAPTER   LVII. 

UTTERLY   DISREGARDS   THE   CONSEQUENCES. 

[Mr.  B:  bids  an  affecting  farewell  to  his  Passport  as  the  chalky  cliffs  of  England 
come  again  in  Bight.] 

Poor,  torn,  ragged,  patched,  and  mended, 
Thou  hast  been  to  me  a  friend  most  dear, 

But  now 's  thy  faithful  service  ended, 

For  at  length  old  England's  shores  are  near.. 

Thine  eagle  oft  hath  been  my  guard 

Amidst  officials  fat  and  saucy  : 
Full  oft  the  soldier  grim  and  hard 

Ilath  quailed  before  the  name  of  Marcy. 

Police  no  more  shall  seratinize 

Thy  vises,  stamps,  "  permis  de  s^jour," 

No  more  "  gens  d'armes  "  o'er  thee  look  wise, 
Thou  hast  received  thy  last  "  bon  pour." 

My  purse  for  thee  shall  bleed  no  morej. 

Grim  sentinel  shall  not  harass, 
Besetting  me  at  "ate  and  door 

With  that  provoking,  "  Please  Sir,  your  Pass." 
17 


258  MR.   DUNN   EROWNE'S 

IIow  many  sovereiirns  owe  thee  thanks ! 

Full  oft  the  Pope  on  thee  hath  fed, 
Napoleon's  had  from  thee  some  francs, 

For  Bomba  thou  hast  freely  bled. 

Thou'st  greased  Emmanuel's  moustache, 
As  well  as  lined  the  Sultan's  pockets, 

Thou'st  helped  Franz  Joseph  cut  a  dash, 
And  paid  for  Leopold's  festive  rockets. 

From  thee  and  from  thy  fellows,  too, 
The  Duke  of  Tuscany  extracts  his 

Most  important  revenue ; 

You  are  his  best  and  surest  taxes. 

Of  every  tongue  and  language,  on  thy  back, 
Thou  hast,  I  do  believe,  a  scrawl : 

'T  would  jjuzzle  Elihu,  the  "  Learned  Black- 
Smith's"  self,  I  ween,  to  read  them  all. 

O'er  thee  hath  many  a  Dutchman  sputtered, 

Italian  raved  and  Saxon  swore, 
"  Sacre  "  full  oft  the  Frenchman's  uttered, 

Thou'st  vexed  the  German's  patience  sore. 

Wise  men  and  fools  have  o'er  thee  pondered. 
Drunken  men  and  sober,  men  of  sense  and  asses. 

Sane  men,  men  whose  wits  had  wandered. 
Men  with  glass  eyes,  men  with  eye-glasses. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  259 

Some  who  woul<l  hold  thee  up?Iclo  down, 

And  some  again  who  would  n't ; 
Some  who  could  read  thy  name,  •'  Duini  Drowne," 

And  others  still  who  could  n't. 

• 
To  be  sure  It  has  been  a  terrible  bore, 

A  year  to  carry  thee  ever  about  me, 
But  I  fear  that  it  would  have  troubled  me  more, 

To  have  started  away  without  thee. 

Go,  then,  my  Pass,  hide  thee  in  peace 
'Way  down  iu  the  depths  of  my  valise  ; 

Ah,  well,  my  dear  Muse,  if  any  one  else  is  wait- 
ing for  you,  don't  let  me  detain  yon.  I  am  aware 
that  such  verses  must  cause  you  considerable  lacera- 
tion of  nerves,  so  I  won't  trouble  you  again  if  I  can 
possibly  help  it.  That's  the  way  the  sea  acts  upon 
me;  instead  of  making  me  sick  it  makes  me  produce 
sickly  rhymes. 

This  is  London,  is  it?  Of  course  it  is.  I  know  it 
by  the  whole  five  of  my  senses,  especially  those  of 
taste  and  smell ;  I  know  it  by  the  thick  cloud  of 
black  smoke,  by  the  grim,  sooty  houses,  by  the  hor- 
rible swearing  of  the  sailors  and  porters,  by  the 
crowding  and  hustling,  the  universal  atmosphere  of 
fog  and  of  freedom,  of  industry  and  incivility,  of 
comfort  and  ernmblins:.     I  know  it  by  the  everlast- 


260  MR.    DUNN   BRO^YNE'S 

ing  thunder  of  the  'buses  and  drays,  and  by  the  mur- 
mur of  the  perpetual  crowd  of  foot-passengers  ;  I 
know  it  by  the  "  haitches  "  and  the  "  wes "  of  the 
cockney  pronunciation,  by  the  cut  of  the  whiskers, 
by  the  ruddy  faces  and  portly  forms,  signs  of  health 
and  unlimited  beer.  I  know  it  by  the  dark  dome  of 
St.  PauFs,  (which  I  saw  once  before  during  the  three 
weeks  of  my  former  visit  to  London,)  by  the  Monu- 
ments, by  beautiful  Westminster  Abbey,  and  the 
gingerbread  work  of  the  H(^ses  of  Parliament.  In 
fact  I  am  quite  certain  that  it  is  London,  and  that  is 
enough. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  261 


CHAPTER    LVIII. 

MERRIE   ENGLAND. 

England  is  the  only  country  in  the  world  that  is 
all  finished,  perfectly  conaplete,  the  scaffoldings  taken 
down  and  the  rubbish  picked  up.  There  are  no 
odds  and  ends  lying  around  loose,  no  out  of  the  way 
corners  where  the  work  has  been  slighted,  nothing 
any  where  but  will  bear  the  closest  inspection.  It 
doesn't  make  any  difference  which  direction  you 
take  for  an  excursion  into  the  country.  Go  down 
to  the  south-west  to  the  region  of  Plymouth  and 
Exeter  and  Bath,  and  you  will  think  yourself  in  the 
loveliest  part  of  England  and  of  the  world.  Go  on 
up  to  Stratford  on  Avon  and  Warwick  Castle  and 
Kenilworth,  and  you  will  find  it  hard  to  believe  such 
beauty  can  exist  anywhere  out  of  paradise  besides. 
Come  back  to  the  immediate  vicinity  of  London,  to 
Windsor  Park,  Richmond  Hill,  Hampton  Court,  or 
off  again  to  Derbyshire,  visit  Chatsworth  and  Mat- 
lock Bath,  go  down   into  fertile   Kent,  or  away  north 


262  MR.   DUNN   BROAVXE'S 

to  the  Cumberland  Lakes,  or  across  into  Yorkshire, 
or  take  the  opposite  direction  and  roam  a  week  over 
the  Isle  of  Wight,  go  anywhere,  take  any  train,  or  if 
you  miss  that,  take  any  other  train  and  stop  at  any 
station,  or  better  still  get  on  the  top  of  any  stage- 
coach and  ride  till  it  stops.  You  can't  go  amiss. 
Wherever  you  go  you  will  be  thankful  you  took  that 
particular  direction  rather  than  any  other.  Go  by 
rail,  'bus,  coach,  or  cab,  but  don't  take  a  private  con- 
veyance. If  you  allow  any  fat,  smooth-faced  inn- 
keeper to  seduce  you  into  hiring  a  one-horse  "trap" 
to  take  you  across  the  country  at  "  a  shilling  a  mile," 
in  the  first  place  you  will  find  that  it  is  an  incredible 
number  of  miles  to  the  place  you  wish  to  reach,  then 
again  you  will  come  to  a  toll-gate  with  a  sixpence 
to  pay  every  two  or  three  miles,  you  will  have  a  six- 
pence to  pay  for  "'olding  your  boss"  at  every  place 
you  stop,  you  will  have  an  unexpected  demand  made 
at  the  end  of  your  journey  of  three-pence  a  mile  for 
the  driver,  and  lastly  you  will  have  the  consolation  of 
being  passed  on  the  road  by  a  coach  which  left  the 
place  you  started  from  about  an  hour  after  you, 
bound  for  the  same  place  with  yourself,  and  w^hich 
would  have  carried  you  there  in  half  the  time  at  one 
fifth  of  the  price.  I  speak  from  experience.  Be- 
ware  of  "traps,"'    especially  of  "one-horse   traps." 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  263 

Tlion,  when  you  stop  at  a  place,  go  by  all  means  to 
an  inn  and  not  to  a  hotel.  They  have  the  best  inns 
and  the  worst  hotels  in  England  of  any  country  in 
the  world.  The  stitT  staring  hotels  are  fast  crowd- 
ing out  the  good  old-fashioned,  straggling,  many-ga- 
bled iims,  so  that  soon,  alas,  England  will  be  worse 
than  Egypt  to  travel  in,  but  so  long  as  a  single  inn  of 
the  old  style  remains,  don't  fail  to  take  up  your  quar- 
ters there  if  you  wish  to  know  what  real  comfort  is. 
The  most  astonishing  thing  about  England  is  the 
immense  expenditure  of  money  everywhere,  the  rich- 
ness, solidity,  and  expense  of  all  the  public  works  and 
the  private  buildings  also,  even  in  the  remotest  nooks 
and  corners  of  the  island.  J  never  saw  real  estate  so 
condensed,  so  much  of  it  occupying  so  little  ground. 
I  never  saw  gold  spread  out  so  thickly  over  the  whole 
face  of  a  country.  Every  thing  you  see  appears  to  be 
steeped  in  money,  fed  on  money,  made  of  money, 
representative  of  a  vast  money  value.  The  fog  looks 
as  if  it  would  coin  up  into  dollars,  the  crops  waving 
over  the  fields  are  rich  golden  harvests,  the  sheep 
and  cattle  grazing  in  the  ptstures  are  fat,  solid,  peri- 
patetic bank-notes,  every  acre  of  ground  is  a  bursting 
purse  of  gold,  the  very  roads  are  macadamizi'd  with 
pounded  goldeji  ore,  the  sturdy  old  oaks  seem  to 
have  been  nourished  with  the  true  "  circulating  me- 


264  MR.  DuxN  Browne's 

dium,"  the  houses  stand  up  firm  and  strong  as  if  no 
amount  of  mortgages  could  have  the  slightest  effect 
upon  them,  real  estate  seems  nowhere  else  so  real 
and  substantial  as  here.  It  is  here  more  than  any 
where  else  difficult  to  realize  the  fact  that  riches  may 
take  to  themselves  wings  and  fly  away.  What 
broad,  strong  wings  would  it  take  to  bear  away  those 
solid  stone  buildings,  those  apoplectic  factories,  those 
broad  acres,  those  rich  mines,  those  inexhaustible 
coal-beds !  Could  I  charter  sufficient  wing-power  I 
would  at  least  fly  away  to  America  wath  one  of  the 
beautiful  English  parks,  with  its  verdant  turf  and  its 
tastefully  arranged  trees,  even  if  I  had  to  transport 
also  a  whole  skyful  of  mists  and  showers  to  keep  it 
fresh  and  green.  I  am  afraid  we  can't  have,  in  our 
country,  wath  its  bright  skies,  a  real  English  park, 
any  more  than  they  can  have  one  of  our  glorious 
many-colored  autumnal  landscapes.  But  the  Eng- 
lish landscape  retains  its  freshness  nearly  through  the 
year.  Ours  is  beautiful  a  little  while  in  the  spring 
and  glorious  again  in  the  autumn  for  a  few  days  be- 
fore its  death.  So  the  fogs  and  rains  of  Old  England 
are  not  without  their  redeeming  features,  if  such 
things  can  be  said  to  have  features  indeed. 


EXPEUIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  265 


CHAPTER    LIX. 

ENGLISH   DIVERSITY   TOWNS. 

1  AM  going  to  see  at  once  about  getting  a  Fellow- 
shij)  in  one  of  the  rich  old  colleges  at  Oxford  or  Cam- 
bridsre.  A  nice  suite  of  rooms  in  one  of  those  jolly 
nooks  of  halls,  with  smoothly  shaven  lawns  and 
noble  groves  %  study  and  take,  one's  pleasure  in,  with 
cultivated  companions  and  endless  stores  of  books  to 
solace  one's  self  withal,  with  an  abundance  of  lit- 
erary leisure  and  the  best  of  society,  with  a  wise  pro- 
vision against  your  committing  the  folly  of  matri- 
mony, with  nothing  at  all  to  do,  and  twelve  or  fifteen 
hundred  dollars  a  year  to  do  it  with,  it  really  strikes 
me  that  such  a  path  in  life  as  that  would  present 
about  as  few  thorns  and  briars  as  almost  any  that 
a  man  can  walk  in.  And  yet  there  is  occasionally 
an  infatuated  son  of  Adam  who  will  allow  some  fair 
daughter  of  Eve  to  tempt  him  even  from  such  a 
paradise  as  this.  Such  is  mankind,  since  the  for- 
bidden fruit  was  tasted ! 


266  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

It  was  vacation  when  we  visited  the  university 
towns,  and  so  we  had  to  content  ourselves  with  look- 
ing at  the  empty  hives  and  the  stores  of  honey  that 
Jiad  been  collected,  without  seeing  the  bees,  either 
workers  or  drones,  either  the  "reading"  men  or  the 
"  rowing  "  men. 

The  two  towns  are  very  nearly  of  equal  beauty. 
The  Oxford  building  material  crumbles  more  easily, 
and  hence  the  old  towers  and  colleges  look  more 
ancient  and  venerable,  but  I  cannot  help  thinking 
Cambridge  quite  as  lovely.  King's  College  Chapel 
at  Cambridge  is  much  finer  than  any  thing  of  the 
kind  at  Oxford,  but  -the  latter  again»can  show  the 
most  splendid  dining  hall,  and  this  last  is  the  great 
institution  of  an  English  college  or  any  thing  else 
that  is  English.  The  dinner  is  the  great  centre  about 
which  an  Englishman's  thoughts  and  plans  all  re- 
volve, and  when  he  founds  a  college,  the  first  thing 
to  be  attended  to,  is  to  provide  a  magnificent  dining 
saloon  for  its  inmates ;  the  next,  a  beautiful  chapel, 
and  if  there  happen  to  be  any  funds  left,  why,  the  li- 
braries and  professorships,  and  such  minor  matters 
may  come  in  for  the  crumbs,  so  to  speak,  that  fall 
from  the  dinner-table.  Another  curious  feature,  and 
which  shows  the  exclusiveness  of  the  English  charac- 
ter  everywhere  is,  that  there  is  no  public  room  of 


EXPERIENCES   IN    FOREIGN   I'yVRTS.  267 

any  size  connpctcd  with  either  of  the  universities, 
any  more  than  there  is  for  the  aceorninodation  of  the 
Lords  and  Commons  in  the  new  Houses  of  Parlia- 
ment in  London,  or  for  any  one  else's  accommoda- 
tion in  any  other  place  that  I  think  of  now.  The 
number  of  undergraduates  in  Oxford,  or  in  Cam- 
bridge, is  from  fifteen  hundred  to  two  thousand,  and 
the  Senate  House  in  each  university,  where  the  dig- 
nitaries meet  on  anniversary  occasions  to  confer 
honorary  degrees,  where  addresses  and  poems  are 
delivered,  etc,  will  not  seat  more  than  five  hundred 
persons  conveniently,  and  cannot,  I  should  think, 
hold  in  any  way,  sitting  or  standing,  a  thousand.  It 
is  only  for  a  few  privileged  individuals  to  get  access 
to  any  thing  in  this  country.  There  is  more  trouble 
and  difficulty,  very  frequently,  in  getting  in  to  hear  a 
debate  in  Parliament,  than  there  is  in  getting  elected 
to  our  Congress,  if  you  are  of  the  right  party,  that  is. 
Nothing  is  made  large  enough  to  hold  half  the  peo- 
ple who  want  to  get  into  it,  or  if  it  is,  the  admission 
is  hedged  about  with  so  many  annoyances  and  de- 
lays that  you  give  it  up  rather  than  take  the  trouble. 
Such  a  simple  thing  as  getting  admission  to  the  li- 
brary of  the  British  Museum  I  couldn't  accomplish, 
at  least  without  taking  more  pains  than  the  thing 
was  worth.     But  we  are   gettino;  back  to   London 


268  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

again,  I  see,  in  obedience  to  the  irresistible  townward 
tendency  of  every  thing  in  England,  so  perhaps  it 
won't  be  worth  while  for  us  to  return  to  Cambridge 
for  the  sake  of  visiting  together  John  Milton's  mul- 
berry tree  in  Christ  College  garden,  and  one  or  two 
other  interesting  things  I  had  thought  of  taking  you 
to  see.  Let  us  go  to  the  zoological  gardens  instead, 
and  see  the  Hippopotamus, for  "seeing  the  elephant" 
is  quite  out  of  date  in  London,  and  cockneys  for 
two  or  three  years  past  have  devoted  their  zoological 
attention  exclusively  to  the  hippopotamus,  who  is 
much  more  of  a  sight,  weighing,  (though  yet  com- 
paratively in  its  infancy.)  from  two  to  three  tons,  and 
opening  a  mouth  like  the  crater  of  a  volcano,  about 
as  destructive,  too,  to  the  wheat-fields,  as  any  moder- 
ate volcano  I  ever  read  of.  Perhaps  we  may  as  well 
step  in  also  at  Madame  Tussaud's  and  see  her  star- 
ing wax  models  of  the  principal  murderers,  orators, 
warriors,  lawyers,  kings,  and  other  scourges  of  human- 
ity, all  in  the  "  'ighest  style  of  hart,"  the  delight  and 
pride  of  the  cockneys.  Then,  to  finish  up  the  even- 
ing, we  may  drop  into  Evans'  Eating  Rooms  for  a 
bit  of  supper,  accompanied  by  the  greatest  variety  of 
music  it  was  ever  your  lot  to  hear  and  see,  a  perfect 
jumble    of    the    sentimental   and   the   warlike,   the 


EXrERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  269 

pathetic  and  the  funny,  the  love-madrigal,  the  Ethi- 
opian minstrel  and  the  "  ghost  in  Hamlet,"  presented 
by  a  man  dressed  half  in  scale  armor  and  half  in  a 
shroud,  half  Hamlet  and  half  ghost. 


!270  MR.   DUXN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER    LX. 

THE  JEDBURG  BORDER  GAMES. 

Attracted  by  the  announcement,  on  a  huge  pla- 
card pasted  hard  by  the  entrance  of  Melrose  Abbey, 
that  the  ancient  and  honorable  athletic  games  of  the 
Scottish  border  were  to  be  celebrated  at  Jedburg, 
on  the  young  Marquis  of  Mid-Lothian's  birthday, 
my  friend,  "  William  the  Conqueror,"  and  myself 
crowded  Abbotsford  into  a  short  morning  pedes- 
trian excursion,  and  at  nine  o'clock  wedged  ourselves 
into  an  overloaded  special  train  which  was  "  drag- 
ging its  slow  length "  along  to  the  appointed 
scene  of  the  sports.  Our  old  anaconda  having 
disgorged  its  thousand  victims,  happy  in  our  escape, 
we  wended  our  way  through  the  crooked  streets 
of  the  straggling  town,  which  was  all  gay  with 
flags  and  banners  and  bonnie  lassies  streaming 
with  ribbons ;  past  the  old  abbey,  which  allowed 
a  few  smiles  of  sunlight  to  play  across  its  dilapi- 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  271 

dated  red  sand-stone  countenance,  as  if  in  iionor  of 
the  great  occasion  ;  away  on  to  a  pretty,  modest  hill, 
all  blushing  wiljh  heather,  where  some  thousands  of 
people,  mostly  of  the  laboring  classes,  but  well 
dressed  and  very  well  behaved,  were  assembled  to 
witness  the  contests.  A  quadrangle,  perhaps  five 
hundred  fact  by  three  hundred,  with  ranges  of  seats 
rising  above  each  other  all  around,  with  a  band  of 
music  under  a  canopy  at  one  end,  and  a  large  tent 
for  the  accommodation  of  the  performers  at  the 
other,  occupied  the  brow  of  the  hill.  Hundreds 
of  booths  and  tents  were  erected  outside  for  the 
refreshment  of  the  spectators.  Just  within  the 
inclosure,  hung  on  the  little  banners,  were  the  prizes 
to  be  awarded  to  the  victors  in  the  various  games, 
consisting  mostly  of  gay  articles  of  dress  and  or- 
namental wear,  coats  of  many  colors,  embroidered 
vests.  Highland  caps,  plaids,  a  nice  pair  of  boots 
for  the  victor  in  the  foot-race,  a  richly  embroidered 
girdle  valued  at  fifty  dollars  for  the  best  wrestler, 
etc.,  which  articles,  when  awarded,  were  exhibited 
to  the  admiring  crowd  on  the  persons  of  the  victors, 
with  a  great  air  of  triumph  and  exultation.  Within 
the  quadrangle  strutted  the  umpires  and  judges  and 
marshals,  looking  as  wise  as  owls,  as  dignified  as 
donkeys,  and  as  proud  as  turkey-cocks. 


272  MR.  DUXN  Browne's 

The  performances  going  on  at  our  arrival  were 
feats  of  leaping,  the  perpendicular  and  the  hori- 
zontal leap,  the  "  hop,  step,  and  jun^p,"  and  various 
other  varieties.  Next  came  wrestling  by  little  boys, 
some  of  whom  were  not  more  than  six  years  old, 
and  it  was  altogether  as  pretty  a  display  of  science 
and  agility  as  the  day  had  to  afford  us.  The  gravity 
with  which  the  little  fellows  shook  hands  to  show 
that  they  bore  no  malice,  the  magnanimity  they  dis- 
played in  raising  a  fallen  foe,  and  the  stoicism  they 
manifested  to  the  praises  of  the  spectators,  were 
lessons  in  human  nature.  The  victor  was  a  little 
ten  year  old,  who  spread  out  half  a  dozen  larger 
boys  just  as  fast  as  they  could  come  on  and  take 
hold.  The  next  performance  was  a  smart  shower 
of  rain,  which  was  thinly  attended  by  the  spectators, 
most  of  whom  preferred  a  wetting  up  of  a  different 
kind  in  the  booths  above  referred  to.  Then  suc- 
ceeded feets  of  hurling,  cannon  balls  of  various  sizes 
being  the  projectiles  used.  A  slight,  consumptive 
looking  youth  carried  away  the  first  prize  in  this 
sturdy  contest,  haying  thrown  the  fifty-six  pound 
cannon  ball  nearly  thirty  feet,  if  I  understood  the 
announcement  correctly.  The  interest  of  the  crowd 
now  became  greatly  excited  in  a  hurdle  race.  The 
competitors,  about  a  dozen  in  number,  ran  out  from 


EXPEUIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  273 

the  inclosure  three  liniidrcd  yards,  leaping  six  hur- 
dles or  bars  four  feet  high,  in  their  course,  and  then 
returned  over  the  same  ground.  It  was  qu\W  a 
spirited  alTair,  the  victor  passing  no  less  than  three 
men  in  the  laiit  thirty  feet,  and  coming  in  less  than, 
half  a  yard  before  the  favorite,  who  had  kept  \he 
lead  from  the  first,  and  was  a  famous  runnQy-  from 
England. 

After  a  recess  of  half  an  hour  for  rest,  (which  op- 
portunity was  faithfully  improved  by  the  rain,)  we 
gathered  again  together  to  witness  the  grand  affai- . 
of  the  day,  the  wrestling  match,  the  most  fampus 
champions  of  this  time-honored  border  spc;:t.  being 
gathered  from  all  quarters.  The  wrestlers  wore 
flesh-colored  tights  and  stockings  only ;  clasped  , 
hands  together  behind  each  others  shoulders,  one 
arm  over,  the  other  under,  and  the  contest  was 
usually  very  quickly  decidjed.  Some  of  the  fea,tS: 
of  strength  were  tremendous.  A  noted  young 
champion,  Scott  |pf  Carlisle,  pulled  from  his  feet  a 
gigantic  antagonist,  nearly  twice  his  <?.wn  weight, 
whirled  him  completely  round  in  the  air  twice,  and 
left  him  gently  extended  on  his  back.  First,  there 
were  many  separate  single  matches,  and  then  one 
grand  trial  where  winners  were  matched  with  winners, 
and  the  last  man  up  was  to  be  the  victor.      Finally, 

X8 


274  MR.  Drxx  eroavne's 

Scott  of  Carlisle,  who  had  thrown  every  opponent 
in  a  long  series  of  encounters,  and  a  young  shepherd 
from  Jedbnrg,  who  had  been  successful  against  all 
comers,  in  a  series  alternating  with  the  first,  were 
brought  into  the  lists  for  the  last  decisive  struggle, 
to  decide  which  should  be  champion.  The  shep- 
herd, a  tall  lad,  rough  and  ungainly,  but  of  tremen- 
dous strength,  was  hitherto  unknown  to  fame,  and 
now  trembled  with  hope  and  fear  as  the  final  trial 
approached.  Scott,  slight,  but  a  perfect  model  of 
manly  strength  and  gi*ace,  came  smilingly  and  care- 
lessly forward,  looiving  really  as  if  he  would  be  glad 
to  have  the  shepherd  boy  gain  the  prize.  They 
shook  hands,  the  heralds  waved  a  little  yellow  flag 
over  the  head  of  each,  and  proclaimed  their  name 
and  residence,  then,  amidst  a  breathless  stillness  in 
ttat  vast  and  excited  crowd,  the  combatants  threw 
their  arms  about  each  other  as  if  for  a  fraternal  em- 
brace. Scott  experienced  much  difTiculty  in  bringing 
his  hands  together  about  the  burly  shoulders  of  his 
tall  opponent,  but  succeeding  at  last  in  clasping  them, 
he  bowed  that  huge  frame  together  in  a  grasp  like 
that  of  a  tiger  seizing  a  bufTalo,  and  in  the  twinkling 
of  an  eye  extended  him  on  the  sand  with  face  to 
the  sky.  But  the  valiant  young  shepherd,  gafhering 
courasce    from  defeat,  claimed   his  riijlit  to  demand 


EXPERIENCES    IN    FOREIGN    PARTS.  275 

Ihroe  trials  instead  of  one,  in  the  last  contest,  and  in 
the  next  encounter,  seized  Scott  in  his  long  arms, 
with  a  strength  perfectly  irresistible,  lifted  him  from 
the  ground  like  a  baby  to  Jiis  breast,  and  hiid  him 
gently  on  his  back.  And  the  third  trial,  too,  after  a 
long  and  doubtful  struggle  between  superior  skill 
and  superior  strength,  was  decided  against  the  re- 
doubted Scott,  and  Jemmy  Davidson,  the  raw  shep- 
herd boy,  whom  nobody  knew  as  a  wrestler,  re- 
ceived the  first  prize,  and  was  declared  the  champion 
of  all  the  border.  '  The  joy  of  the  crowd,  especially 
those  from  Davidson's  own  neighborhood,  was  in- 
tense, and  their  enthusiasm  unbounded.  They 
hugged  him  and  kissed  him,  carried  him  upon  their 
shoulders,  and  shouted  his  name  till  they  were 
hoarse.  His  good-natured  antagonist  joined  his 
congratulations  to  those  of  the  crowd,  and  seemed  in 
nowise  cast  down  by  his  defeat. 

The  rest  of  the  games,  the  blindfold  hurdle  race, 
the  jumping  in  sacks,  the  wheelbarrow  race  and  oth- 
er comical  sjiorts  which  concluded  the  day,  we  did 
not  stop  to  see,  for  the  day,  which  had  been  unusu- 
ally fair  for  the  British  Isles,  having  only  indulged  in 
two  showers  and  three  drizzles,  about  this  time  re- 
lapsed into  a  settled  rain,  and  we  took  the  cars  for 
Edinburgh,  whither,  I  suppose,  you  wish  we  had 
started  a  good  deal  sooner. 


276  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER    LXI. 


EDINBORO   THE   LITERARY. 


This  "  modern  Athens  "  has  really  quite  a  resem- 
blance to  her  Grecian  prototype,  even  if  we  say 
nothing  about  the  Parthenon  dVit  on  Calton  Hill 
which  she  has  commenced  erecting  and  which,  with 
its  dozen  finished  Doric  columns,  is  already  becoming 
a  ruin  that  likens  it  still  more  to  its  great  model. 
The  hills  about  Edinboro  are  a  little  like  those 
around  Athens,  the  Edinboro  Castle  is  something 
like  the  Acropolis,  and  there  is  a  similar  contrast  be- 
tween the  old  and  the  new  buildings,  between  the 
ancient  and  the  modern  towns  of  Edinboro  and 
of  Athens. 

The  old  and  the  new  cities  of  Edinboro  are  on  op- 
posite sides  of  a  valley,  and  are  still  more  opposite  in 
character  than  in  situation.  One  is  as  shabby  as  a 
New  England  deacon's  every-day  hat,  and  the  other 
as  clean  and  prim  as  his  go-to-meeting  one.  They 
do  all  the  dirty  work,  perform  all  the  business,  buUd 


EXPERIENCES    IN    FOREIGN   PARTS.  277 

the  sooty  furnaces,  make  the  noxious  gases  and  en- 
gage ill  tlie  e very-day  drudgery  in  the  Old  Town, 
and  then  go  over  into  the  New  Town  Sundays  and 
holidays  to  church  and  to  enjoy  themselves.  Tlie 
Old  Town  is  full  of  narrow,  filthy  lanes,  which  would 
be  abated  as  nuisances  in  the  most  miserable  Arab 
or  Turkish  or  (worst  of  all)  Italian  city.  The  houses, 
tottering  eleven-storied  abominations,  frequently  fall. 
One  had  just  crushed  half  a  dozen  people  the  day 
before  we  arrived.  But  the  New  City,  with  its  broad 
streets,  handsome  squares,  houses  all  of  hewn  stone, 
stately  monuments,  and  rich  churches,  is  as  tine  as 
gold  and  good  taste  and  the  absence  of  all  business 
can  make  it. 

Holy  rood  Palace  is  interesting  especially  as  show- 
ing what  poor,  miserable,  ridiculous,  accommoda- 
tions kings  and  queens  had  to  put  up  with  in  former 
times.  Why,  Queen  Mary's  apartments  in  the  shab- 
by old  corner  tower  at  Ilolyrood  are  not  fit  for  a 
modern  poet's  garret.  Queen's  horses  are  better  sta- 
bled now-a-days.  Her  supper  room,  where  she  was 
sitting  at  tea  when  Rizzio's  murderers  entered,  is  n't 
large  enough  for  a  tea-table  to  be  spread  in.  She 
must  have  sat  wilh  her  cup  in  her  hand,  if  indeed 
she  was  drinking  tea,  I  forget  })recisely  the  circum- 
stances.    The  door  of  her  dressing-room  is  so  low 


278  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

that  she  must  have  stooped  to  enter  it,  and  the  rest 
of  her  rooms  are  built  altogether  too  much  after  the 
snail-shell  order  of  architecture  to  suit  the  enlarged 
ideas  of  any  modern  queen.  Her  entire  suite  of  apart- 
ments made  into  one,  the  whole  second  floor  of  the 
tower  which  she  occupied,  with  the  partitions 
knocked  out,  would  but  just  contain  a  lady  in  the 
present  full  dress,  and  as  for  getting  her  in  or  out 
through  any  of  the  doors,  it  would  be  a  ridiculous 
impossibility. 

The  Gothic  "  Memorial  to  Walter  Scott,"  of  free- 
stone, two  hundred  feet  high,  is  the  finest  monument 
I  have  ever  seen,  which  is  not  saying  much  to  be 
sure,  for  monuments  are  generally  ugly  things  and 
insensibly  induce  us  to  associate  some  of  their  own 
deformity  with  the  character  of  those  they  commem- 
orate, thus  serving  pprhaps  as  useful  warnings 
against  ambition,  but  for  all  purposes  of  ornament  to 
a  city,  a  very  useless  expenditure.  I  put  it  to  your 
conscience  now,  my  dear  reader,  to  tell  me  candidly, 
if  you  can  say,  on  approaching  a  strange  city,  which 
are  monuments  and  which  are  chimnies.  I  am  free 
to  acknowledge,  (in  confidence,)  that  I  can't  distin- 
guish the  difference,  except  that  those  tall,  slender 
chimnies,  of  the  steam  manufactories  and  the  gas 
works,  seem  much  more  elegantly  shaped,  and  have 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  279 

in  addition  graceful  wreaths  of  smoke  adorning  their 
summits,  which  the  monuments  and  columns  cannot 
boast.  And  yet  I  never  heard  of  a  city's  being  proud 
of  the  number  and  beauty  of  its  gas-chimnies,  that  I 
recollect.  These  remarks  must  be  understood  as 
applying  to  monuments  in  general  and  not  to  the 
Scott  memorial,  which  is  really  an  ornament  for  any 
town  to  be  proud  of. 

These  Scotch  arc  a  very  nice  people,  both  sensible 
and  good-natured,  who  make  you  feel  at  home 
among  them,  just  as  the  English,  unless  you  have 
a  hatful  of  introductions,  make  you  feel  that  you  are 
not  at  home,  and  several  other  nations  I  could  name 
make  you  you  wish  you  were  at  home. 

It  has  rained  so  constantly  and  perseveringly 
during  our  stay  in  Scotland,  that  we  have  confined 
our  excursions  to  a  simple  crossing  the  country  by 
way  of  Stirling,  Callander,  Lochs  Katrine  and  Lo- 
mond, Dumbarton,  and  Glasgow.  We  were  driven 
from  Stirling  to  the  Trossachs,  past  Bannockburn, 
over  Allan  water,  and  within  sight  of  several  roman- 
tic castles,  by  a  poetical,  red-nosed  coachman,  who 
spouted  Scott's  poetry  the  whole  distance,  and  what 
with  the  fatigue  of  listening  to  him,  and  holding  an 
umbrella  over  several  unprotected  females  during  a 
heavy  shower,  and  supporting  a  hysterical  lassie  over 


2S0  MIU   DUXN    BROWNE'S 

all  the  bad  places  in  the  road  with  my  encircling  arm, 
I  assure  you,  nothing  but  a  strong  sense  of  duty 
done,  and  the  gratitude  with  which  she  pressed  my 
hand  as  we  descended  from  the  top  of  the  coach, 
could  have  adequately  rewarded  me  for  that  day  of 
sacrifice.  The  Scotch  lakes  are  so  so,  and  Glasgow 
is  a  tolerably  well-built  city. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  281 


CHAPTER    LXII 


IN   AN   IRISH  JAUNTING    CAR. 


We  have  been  in  Ireland  just  long  enough  to  ascer- 
tain that  it  really  is  inhabited  by  Irishmen,  real  gen- 
uine Paddies  as  ever  voted  the  "  Dimmycratic  "  ticket 
six  times  in  a  day  at  a  New  York  city  election.  At- 
the  Killarney  Races  which  we  attended  one  rainy 
day,  near  the  celebrated  lakes  of  the  same  name, 
were  gathered  four  or  five  thousand  of  the  peasantry 
of  that  district,  every  man  "  with  a  stick  in  his  fist," 
and  a  brave  show  they  made  of  it.  I  have  seen 
nothing  that  reminded  me  of  America  so  much  since 
I  left  it.  The  countenances  seemed  familiar,  I  could 
recognize  about  half  the  faces  as  having  been  seen 
before.  I  should  have  expected  that  nearly  all  of 
them  would  affirm,  upon  inquiry,  that  they  were 
"  thrue  native-born  'Merikan  citizens."  Fifty  years 
ago  there  could  n't  have  been  such  a  gathering  as 
met  at  the  races,  without  a  regular  "  faction  fight," 
but  the  belligerent  spirit  of  the  race  is  getting  much 


282  MR.   DUNN    BROWNE'S 

calmed  down  of  late.  I  saw  no  fight  that  day,  nor 
indeed  any  day  of  our  week's  trip  in  Ireland,  though 
one  fiery  little  fellow,  in  the  cars  as  we  were  ap- 
proaching the  Cove  of  Cork,  had  to  be  prevented  by 
his  friends  from  demolishing  a  couple  of  Italians, 
who  had  the  impudence  to  doubt  his  assertion,  that 
an  Irish  soldier  could  easily  whip  three  of  any  other 
nation  on  the  globe. 

The  country  from  Dublin  to  Cork  is  mostly  level 
wheat  and  potato  land,  agreeably  diversified  with 
peat-bogs,  and  under  poor  cultivation,  at  least  com- 
pared with  England  and  Scotland.  The  stream  of 
English  gold,  however,  which  has  been  turned  upon 
the  country  of  late  years,  is  fast  changing  the  bogs 
into  meadows,  redeeming  the  waste  places,  making 
the  desert  blossom  with  beautiful  fields  of  grain  and 
vegetables.  There  is  no  sort  of  irrigation  that  fertil- 
izes like  a  stream  of  gold.  It  is  a  manure  that  is 
adapted  to  all  soils,  and  to  seasons  wet  and  dry.  A 
thick  coating  of  it,  whether  ploughed  in  or  applied 
as  a  top-dressing,  is  pretty  sure  to  tell  on  almost  any 
kind  of  crop,  and  if  I  were  about  to  commence  farm- 
ing on  a  large  scale  in  any  country,  I  can  think  of 
nothing  I  should  value  more  highly  than  a  large  ac- 
cumulation of  this  admirable  yellow  dust  to  apply 
as  a  fertilizer. 


EXPERIENCES   IN   I-'OIIEIGN   PARTS.  283 

The  conveyances  of  every  country  are  peculiar, 
but  the  Irish  Jaunting  Car  is  the  most  peculiar  and 
original,  the  drollest,  craziest  piece  of  locomotive  fur- 
niture ever  invented.  It  is  eminently  Irish;  every 
fragment  of  it  (and  it  is  all  made  up  of  fragments,) 
smacks  of  the  brogue;  it  seems  a  ridiculous  bull  to 
get  into  it  at  all.  A  shaky  oblong  box,  mounted 
upon  two  rickety  wheels  about  three  feet  apart,  un- 
folding in  the  middle,  lengthwise,  into  two  seats 
that  hang  over  outside  the  wheels,  where  you  sit  in 
pairs,  back  to  back,  with  your  rollicking  driver  in 
front,  flogging  his  rawboned  horse  to  the  top  of  his 
speed,  turning  sharp  corners,  plunging  through  the 
crowded  streets  of  a  city,  and  rattling  over  the  rough 
roads  in  the  country,  at  the  same  headlong  pace,  if 
you  can  think  of  any  more  ridiculously  danger- 
ous method  of  getting  over  the  ground,  I  am  sure  it 
must  be  an  Egyptian  donkey-racing  you  are  thinking 
of,  and  I  can't  quite  agree  with  you  there.  And 
then  the  inimitable  politeness  with  which  your  Jehu 
touches  his  hat  and  hopes  "your  honor  is  satisfied 
with  the  dhrivin'  sure,"  and  will  "bestow  a  small 
thrifle  to  spind  in  dhrinkin'  your  health,"  is  quite  ir- 
resistible. 

Moreover  I'm  thinking  that  if  you  should  encoun- 
ter that  little  girl,  who  sold  us  some  bog-oak  orna- 


284  MR.   DUNN    BROAVNE'S 

ments  and  laces  in  Dublin,  you  would  be  pretty  cer- 
tain to  invest  a  trifle  in  her  wares,  if  there  is  any 
soft  spot  in  you  where  the  most  "  deludherin'  "  flat- 
tery can  enter.  Nearly  all  the  Irish  must  have  made 
a  pilgi-image  to  kiss  the  "  Blarney  stone,"  and  the 
Irisli  beggar  is  the  one  of  all  others  to  whom  you 
give  with  the  least  compunction. 

Two  or  three  days  in  the  noble  city  of  Dublin  and 
two  more  in  the  beautiful  vicinity  of  Cork,  with  a 
hurried  glimpse  of  the  lovely  Killarney  Lakes,  .was 
all  the  time  we  could  afford  to  the  Emerald  Isle. 
Our  return  was  by  steamer  to  Holyhead,  thence  by 
rail  across  the  wonderful  tubular  bridge  to  Bangor, 
then  an  excursion  to  Caernarvon  Castle  and  Snow- 
don,  then  a  Sabbath  spent  in  sleepy  old  Chester, 
hearing  a  sleepy  old  bishop  preach  in  the  sleepy  old 
Cathedral.  It  is  astonishing  what  an  amount  of  dull 
preachiiag  one  hears  in  England.  Ideas  are  as  care- 
fully excluded  from  the  pulpit  as  if  they  were  bomb- 
shells with  the  fuse  lighted  and  liable  to  explode  at 
once.  There  is  more  life  and  energy  and  thought 
and  nourishment  in  the  poorest  sermon  I  ever  heard 
in  a  New  England  pulj)it  than  in  the  best  I  heard 
(with  two  exceptions  in  London)  during  a  constant 
attendance  of  three  months,  in  England.  An  Eng- 
lishman doesn't  like  to  be  startled  into  any  thought 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN    PARTS.  285 

while  sitting  on  the  soft  pew-cushions  of  his  old  Par- 
ish Church.  The  peculiarities  of  Chester,  as  every- 
body knows,  are,  its  old  wall,  carefully  preserved  as 
a  ])romenade  for  the  citizens,  a  beautiful  elliptical 
race-course  just  outside  the  wall,  for  all  the  world 
like  an  ancient  circus,  and  especially  its  system  of 
quaint  porticos  along  the  second  story  of  the  prin- 
cipal streets.  This  last  feature  is  a  very  odd  one,  as 
the  style  and  height  of  the  portico  varies  with  almost 
every  house,  and  drawbridges  are  frequently  thrown 
over  the  cross-streets  to  prevent  a  break  in  the  cov- 
ered promenade.  It  is  a  capital  idea  for  rainy  days 
and  for  the  children's  romping.  Many  of  the  houses 
are  curiously  carved,  and,  one  has  on  its  front  the 
date  1003,  which  is  generally  believed  in  Chester  to 
be  authentic. 


286  MR.    DUXN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER   LXIII. 

ANOTHER    TASTE    OF    THE    BRINE. 

On  leaving  such  a  country  as  England,  Liverpool 
is  a  capital  place  to  embark,  because  whatever  re- 
grets one  may  feel  in  going  away  from  the  country, 
taken  as  a  whole,  probably  no  person  ever  visited 
Liverpool  without  being  glad  to  get  away  from  it  as 
soon  as  possible.  And  the  Steamer  Companies 
seem  to  sympathize  with  this  feeling  in  their  passen- 
gers, for  the  vessels  start  with  great  punctuality  at 
the  precise  advertised  time  of  sailing.  At  nine 
o'clock  A.  M.,  August  27th,  ls.56,  (the  anniversary 
of  my  sailing  from  New  York,  outward  bound,)  we 
embarked,  with  about  three  hundred  other  passen- 
gers, on  board  the  Canadian  steamer  "Canadian" 
for  Quebec.  We  selected  this  as  the  most  favorable 
season  in  the  whole  year  to  cross  the  Atlantic,  after 
the  icebergs  were  melted  away  and  before  the  equi- 
noctial storms  came  on,  but  as  a  punishment  for  our 
presumption  in  making  his  moods  a  matter  of  calcu- 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  287 

lation,  Old  Atlantic  brewed  up  for  onr  benefit  one  of 
the  strongest  and  bitterest  storms  he  has  concocted, 
summer  or  winlcr,  for  years,  and  poured  it  out  upon 
U9  all  the  way  over.  "  Immense  number  of  babies 
on  board.  Squalls  ahead,"  remarked  the  sententious 
Isham,  after  a  brief  ex])loration  of  the  cabin.  The 
prediction  proved  too  true.  The  voice  of  infantile 
wailing  was  never  entirely  silent  through  the  whole 
passage.  We  all  felt  like  fathers  of  families  and 
picked  up  the  children  out  of  the  scuppers,  when  a 
big  wave  washed  them  off  their  legs,  without  stop- 
ping a  moment  to  think  whether  they  were  ours  or 
somebody's  else. 

Perpetual  motion  was  the  order  of  the  day,  and 
the  night  too,  for  things  animate  and  inanimate. 
At  dinner,  plates  flew  in  our  faces,  knives  and  forks 
danced  about  tumultuously  with  coquettish  spoons 
for  partners,  fat  tumblers  nodded  roguishly  to  sharp 
vinegar-cruets  who  jerked  their  heads  stiflly  in  re- 
sponse, slender  wine-glasses  tossed  themselves  off  to 
the  health  of  rich  soup-tureens  who  overflowed  in 
greasy  acknowledgments,  legs  of  mutton,  joints  of 
beef  and  roast  geese  plumped  themselves  into  our 
laps,  "  help  yourself  to  potatoes,"  was  a  superfluous 
exhortation,  the  vegetables  invited  themselves  on  to 
your  plate  and  into  your  napkin,  every  thing  went 


288  MR.   DUNN  BROWNE'S 

on  the  self-acting  principle,  and  your  success  in  mak- 
ing a  dinner  depended  on  your  skill  in  stabbing  vi- 
ands with  a  fork  as  they  flew  past.  After  dinner  it 
was  much  the  same.  Ladies  rushed  diritractedly 
(and  distractingly)  into  our  arms,  children  tumbled 
promiscuously  under  our  feet.  "  Harum  scarum," 
"  helter  skelter,"  "  topsy  turvy  "  and  such  like  words 
of  Latin  Dutch  and  Anglo-Saxon  origin,  are  the  only 
words  to  express  the  state  of  things  on  that  voyage. 
Our  vessel  was  a  great  cradle  that  rocked  us  unceas- 
ingly, any^vhere  but  to  sleep.  Or  perhaps  it  was 
more  like  a  great  churn  where  we,  the  cream  of  sev- 
eral nations,  were  shaken  up  together  incessantly,  in 
the  hope  of  our  "  coming  "  at  last.  The  "  Impetu- 
ous" declared  that  it  was  more  than  any  thing  else, 
like  the  whale's  belly  in  which  Jonah  once  took  a 
cruise,  but  none  of  us  took  any  notice  of  that  sugges- 
tion, ascribing  it  to  his  peculiar  feelings  as  he  lay 
tossing  about  in  his  berth  looking  rather  pale. 

The  beard  of  our  "  William  the  Conqueror  "  had 
now  attained  such  an  enormous  growth,  that  we 
used  to  hoist  him  on  deck,  as  a  sail  to  steady  the 
ship  in  the  rough  weather,  and  take  a  reef  in  the 
beard  with  a  shawl,  or  take  him  in  altogether,  when 
the  captain  thought  it  unsafe  to  spread  too  much 
canvas.     Neglecting  once  this  precaution,  a  tremen- 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   TARTS.  289 

dous  wave,  wliich  had  somehow  got  astray,  came 
tumbling  over  the  stern,  deluging  the  "  Conqueror" 
and  several  friends,  besides  nearly  sweeping  them 
overboard  as  it  retired.  "  What  a  narrow  escape  I  " 
exclaimed  one  of  the  bystanders,  as  soon  as  he  could 
recover  from  his  astonishment  so  as  to  find  words. 
"  Humph,  call  that  an  escape,  do  you,  then  I  just 
hope  you  will  meet  with  the  next  instead  of  me," 
growled  our  gasping  monarch,  as  he  shook  half  a 
hogshead  of  brine  from  his  garments  and  went  down 
the  hatchway  the  source  of  as  many  streams  as  a 
melting  glacier. 

A  row  of  splendid  icebergs  stretching  across  from 
Newfoundland  to  Labrador,  like  ghostly  sentinels  to 
challenge  our  approach,  were  the  first  land  we  saw 
on  the  Western  Continent.  (Green  Erin  was  the 
last  we  saw  of  the  Eastern  Hemisphere,  which  ac- 
counts for  the  bull  in  the  previous  sentence.)  They 
look  like  frozen  clouds  and  are  much  more  beautiful 
objects  than  I  expected  to  tind  them,  especially  after 
being  so  greatly  disappointed  in  the  miserable, 
sloppy,  dirty  Swiss  glaciers.  Somehow  I  had  always 
associated  icebergs  and  glaciers  together  in  my  mind, 
but  they  are  no  more  alike  than  clean  linen  and  dirty 
linen,  or  a  boy  that  has  been  eating  molasses  candy 

and  the  same  boy  after  his  face  has  been  washed. 

19 


290  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

Both  have  beautiful  blue  crevices  and  caverns  in  them, 
which  look  in  the  distance  like  bits  of  congealed  sky, 
and  are  doubtless  the  abode  of  the  ice-fairies.  Some 
of  these  ice-mountains  that  we  passed,  were,  I  should 
think,  four  or  five  hundred  feet  high  and  perhaps  a 
half-mile  in  circuit,  all  of  them  aground,  poor  things, 
and  looking  piteously  at  our  Steamer,  as  if  expecting 
us  to  tow  their  old  helpless  hulks  out  to  sea 
again.  We  couldn't  stop  to  take  any  active  meas- 
ues  for  their  relief,  though  our  admiration  was  with- 
out bounds,  and  we  unhesitatingly  pronounced  them 
the  very  (ice)  cream  of  all  Nature's  performances. 

The  passage  up  the  St.  Lawrence  wa,s  quite  too 
grand  to  be  beautiful.  One  can't  exactly  realize  that 
he  is  on  a  river,  when  he  has  to  take  a  telescope  to 
make  out  the  houses  on  either  side.  We  seemed  to 
be  taking  a  broad  strip  of  the  Atlantic,  with  his  huge 
waves  smoothed  out  a  little,  along  up  with  us  and  not 
till  three  hundred  miles  inland  did  we  entirely  shake 
off  his  grasp  upon  us.  The  approach  to  Quebec, 
with  the  noble  Falls  of  Montmorenci  on  the  right,  a 
great  river  tumbling  down  out  of  the  sky,  and  the 
bold  highlands  all  around,  is  one  of  the  finest  scenes 
in  the  world  and  a  fitting  introduction  to  the  glories 
of  our  Western  Hemisphere. 


EXPEllIENCES   IN   FOKEIGN   PARTS.  291 


CHAPTER   LXIV. 

EXPERIENCES  IN  HIS  NATIVE  LAND. 

Well,  it  is  a  hard  thing  to  be  obliged  to  own  up 
to,  but  that  unhesitating  regard  for  truth  which  has 
borne  him  safely  through  so  many  perilous  narrations, 
where  the  temptations  to  color  a  little  were  very 
strong,  where  almost  any  one  else  would  have  exag- 
gerated more  or  less,  that  stern,  unflinching  historical 
veracity  which  has  been  the  striking  feature  of  Mr. 
Browne's  "  Experiences "  hitherto,  compels  him  to 
acknowledge,  however  reluctantly,  that  he  has  be- 
come at  last  "  a  suspicious  character,"  that  he  has 
been  very  nearly  arrested  as  a  genteel  swindler,  that 
at  one  time  the  chances  seemed  dolefully  in  favor  of 
lodging  your  unfortunate  wanderer  in  a  Green 
Movmtain  jail  as  the  leader  of  a  gang  of  pickpockets. 
After  having  passed  unscathed  through  a  two  months' 
surveillance  by  the  watchful  eyes  of  the  Paris  police, 
after  passing  unsuspectedly  through  the  heart  of 
Austria,  and  sustaining  the  most  friendly  relations 


292  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

with  the  police  department  of  suspicious  Vienna, 
after  escaping  tlie  sack  and  bowstring,  the  ear-crop- 
ping and  bastinadoing  of  despotic  Turkey,  after  hav- 
ing ranged  unharmed  through  the  whole  length  of 
Italy,  passing  under  the  very  nose  of  King  Bomba, 
casting  himself  as  it  were  right  upon  the  horns  of  a 
papal  bull,  and  harmlessly  braving  the  horrors  of  a 
dungeon  in  Florence  and  Venice,  after  having  es- 
caped innumerable  perils  by  Arabs  and  Dutchmen, 
by  Cockneys,  by  Highlanders,  and  by  Hibernians, 
here  at  last,  on  his  native  soil,  almost  in  sight  of  the 
hills  on  which  his  "  father  feeds  his  flocks,"  the 
Green  Mountain  boys  have  proved  wellnigh  too 
many  for  him.  Lend  your  ears  to  the  plain  unvar- 
nished tale. 

On  the  last  day  of  the  State  Agricultural  Fair  at 
Burlington,  Mr.  Browne  was  waiting  at  the  steamer 
landing  for  the  arrival  of  the  "  Canada,"  which  had 
unfortunately  carried  off  to  Whitehall  the  baggage  of 
himself  and  his  friend  Isham,  (last  survivors  of  the 
original  eight  who  formed  our  "  army  in  the  East,") 
when  he  gradually  became  aware  of  his  being  the 
object  of  considerable  attention  among  the  crowd 
that  was  gathering  there.  Supposing  this  to  be  ow- 
ing to  his  striking  personal  appearance  and  to  the 
polish  acquired  by  his  friction  against  the  aristocratic 


EXPERIENCES   IN  FOREIGN   PARTS.  293 

old  world,  he  mcroly  continued  his  walk,  with  perhaps 
a  slight  accession  of  dignity  to  his  gait.  But  finding 
the  excitement  rather  on  the  increase,  seeing  young 
ladies  slily  pointing  him  out  to  one  another  with 
their  parasols,  observing  knots  of  people  conversing 
together  in  whispers,  and  two,  after  some  consulta- 
tion with  the  others,  coming  out  of  a  group  towards 
him,  a  new  tliought  struck  Mr.  B.  "  Col.  Fremont 
is  also  a  good-looking  man  and  wears  a  moustache 
and  hair  '  au  naturel.'  Can  it  be  that  these  good 
people  suspect  they  have  here  the  Great  Pioneer  in 
disguise,  and  so  are  sending  these  two  men  as  a 
committee  to  ask  him  to  avow  hinself?  Perhaps 
they  won't  believe  a  denial,  ascribing  it  to  excessive 
modesty.  What  a  bore  it  is  to  be  made  a  lion  of 
in  spite  of  one's  self  I"  The  two  individuals  ap- 
proached. The  elder,  a  hard-looking  personage, 
with  a  dreadfully  stiff  beard  of  a  week's  growth* 
opened  the  conversation.  "  I  say.  Mister,  are  you 
the  feller  't  sold  me  a  suit  of  cloze  up  to  the  Fair 
ground,  this  mornin'  ?  "  "A  suit  of  clothes,  man,  do  I 
look  like  a  tailor?  These  somewhat  dilapidated 
garments  which  I  now  wear,  constitute  my  whole 
wardrobe  at  present.  When  I  have  any  clothes  to 
sell  you  can  have  them  at  a  bargain,  but  just  now  I 
am  not  in  that  line."     "  Never  you  mind,  young  man, 


294  MR.  DUNN  Browne's 

what  I  want  to  know  is  this,  was  you  or  was  you 
not  on  the  Exhibition  ground  this  forenoon  ?  "  To 
be  called  "  young  man ! "  Mr.  B.  was  indignant, 
and  put  an  abrupt  end  to  the  conversation  by 
answering  sharply,  "  When  I  learn  what  right  you 
have  to  ask  me  impertinent  questions,  I  will  see 
about  answering  them.  Till  then  I  would  recom- 
mend you  to  mind  your  own  business."  The  two 
departed,  the  old  man  muttering,  "I'll  larn  you  what 
right  I  have  to  ask  questions,  special  quick." 

Mr.  B.  quietly  continued  his  promenade,  being 
most  carefully  watched  lest  he  should  attempt  to 
escape  before  the  officers  arrived.  Several  burly  men 
soon  came  down  to  the  landing,  who  looked  as  if 
they  might  be  constables,  but  whether  they  were  or 
not  remained  a  mystery,  for,  after  considerable  con- 
sultation and  discussion,  another  committee,  headed 
by  the  same  individual  who  had  been  spokesman 
before,  came  to  Mr.  B.  and  informed  him  that  there 
had  been  for  several  days  a  gang  of  pickpockets  and 
swindlers  in  town,  committing  all  manner  of  depre- 
dations upon  the  inhabitants  and  strangers  gathered 
at  the  Fair,  and  that  he,  (Mr.  B.,)  looked  so  precisely 
like  a  man  who  had  been  selling  damaged  clothing, 
all  that  morning,  for  about  ten  times  its  worth,  rep- 
resenting the  same  to  be  new,  just  purchased  in  Bur- 


EXPERIENCES   Df   FOREIGN   PARTS.  295 

lington,  but  sold  because  the  owner  had  been  robbed 
and  couldn't  otherwise  raise  the  money  to  get  home, 
which  person  was  supposed  also  to  be  the  ringleader 
of  a  gang  of  thieves,  that  they  had  felt  bound  to  take 
measures  for  apprehending  him,  (.Mr.  B.,)  but  if  he 
could  give  them  any  references  or  proofs  that  he  was 
a  respectable  and  well-conducted  individual,  they 
should  be  exceedingly  sorry  to  have  caused  him  any 
inconvenience.  Mr.  B.  thought  the  inconvenience 
was  mostly  on  the  oilier  side,  and  after  the  verdancy 
they  had  shown  in  purchasing  clothes  the  way  they 
had  described,  he  was  not  even  surprised  that  they 
should  have  taken  himself  for  a  rogue.  He  then 
brought  his  huge  passport  and  various  other  formi- 
dable documents  to  bear  upon  his  adversaries,  put 
them  to  utter  silence  and  confusion,  then  departed 
in  triumph  on  board  the  "  Canada,"  which  had  just 
come  up,  to  search  for  his  baggage. 


296  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 


CHAPTER    LXV. 

THE   BEST,   BECAUSE   IT   IS   THE   LAST. 

The  writer  of  these  preceding  sketches,  having 
now  accomplished  his  object  of  comparing  various 
other  regions  with  the  valley  of  the  Connecticut, 
his  own  native  home,  feeling  himself  fully  quali- 
fied to  render  a  decision,  accordingly,  in  the  most 
MW-qualified  manner,  pronounces  that  the  Connec- 
ticut River  Valley  with  its  tributaries,  is  just  the 
most  beautiful  region  in  the  whole  world,  both 
hemispheres  and  all  the  zones  included,  not  except- 
ing any  of  its  five  quarters  nor  even  the  islands  and 
such  like  smaller  fractions.  Tt  is  the  sweetest  smile 
on  the  whole  face  of  the  globe.  Set  in  its  frame 
of  lovely  hills  and  mountains,  it  is  the  finest  picture 
Nature  ever  painted.  Since  man  was  driven  out 
of  Eden,  it  is  the  best  paradise  yet  discovered.  In 
its  fresh  spring  morning,  in  its  effulgent  summer 
noontide,  in  its  gorgeous  autumnal  sunset  hues,  and 
in  its  silvery  winter  moonlight,  it  surpasses  all  other 


EXPERIENCES   IN   FOREIGN   PARTS.  297 

most  favored  climes,  each,  too,  in  its  own  especial 
perfection.  The  "  skies  of  Italy "  are  not  half  so 
"sunny,"  the  banks  of  the  Rhine  can't  compare  in 
variety  of  beautiful  scenery,  the  Alps  can  show  no 
finer  dells  and  valleys,  I  doubt  if  even  Holland  has 
any  more  regular  cultivated  parallelograms  than 
some  of  our  broom-corn  fields  and  tobacco  patches. 

In  taking  leave  of  those  who  have  had  the  pa- 
tience to  pursue  these  rambling  sketches  to  the  end, 
or  who  have  perchance  skipped  over  a  wide  inter- 
vening space  to  read  the  last  chapter,  it  may  be  well 
to  remark,  in  explanation,  that  Browne  is  not  the 
real  family  name  of  the  author.  He  was  originally 
Greene,  and  in  his  early  years  was  remarkable  for 
a  certain  ingenuousness  and  simplicity  of  character, 
which  was  perhaps  the  occasion  of  his  being  sub- 
jected to  so  much  of  that  peculiar  experience,  which 
teaches  the  subject  of  it  some  rather  rough,  but 
possibly  salutary  lessons,  scorches  as  it  were  his 
verdancy  into  a  sober  russet  hue,  in  consequence  of 
which  experience  the  writer  has,  in  the  lapse  of 
years,  (without  once  applying  to  the  legislature  for 
a  change,)  gradually  come  to  be  called  Browne.  In 
short,  if  he  had  not  been  born  Greene,  very  likely 
he  would  never  have  been  Dunn  Browne. 

If  he  has  occasionally,  in  these  epistles,  relapsed 

« 


298  MR.   DUNN   BROWNE'S 

into  that  original,  unsophisticated  simplicity  which 
was  his  normal  state  of  mind,  the  author  hopes  to 
obtain  the  indulgence  of  his  critical  readers  by  the 
candid  explanation  he  has  made,  as  also  if  he  should 
yet  once  more  relapse,  yielding  to  his  tenderer  feel- 
ings as  he  attempts  to  express  his  gratitude  towards 
an  old  and  tried  friend,  who  has  steadfastly  stood 
by  him  in  all  his  wanderings  and  on  whom  he  has 
at  times  greatly  leaned,  to  pay  in  short,  a  debt, 

OWED    TO   HIS   CANE. 

* 

When  Eve  her  first-born  sou  did  see, 
She  thought  no  more  of  grief  and  pain, 

Nor  wh'&t  a  wretch  he  'd  grow  to  be, 

But  thanked  the  Lord,  and  called  him  "  Cain. 

To  Arctic  regions  lone  and  cold. 
When  Mercy  called,  nor  called  in  vain, 

Then  volunteered  a  Yankee  bold 
In  Mercy's  cause ;  't  was  Dr.  Kane. 

In  southern  climes  a  plant  there  grows 
That  sweetness  yields  from  every  vein, 

By  Negroes  mostly  raised,  I  s'pose, 
This  plant  I  speak  of 's  Sugar-Cane. 

When  Southern  Chivalry's  valiant  son 
A  name  of  glory  sought  to  gain, 


EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS.       299 

As  glory  in  bis  section 's  won, 
He  used  his  Gutta  Percha  cane. 

My  cane,  thou  hast  no  munler  done 

Like  that  first  Cain,  who  Abel  slew, 
Nor  spent  six  months  without  the  sun 

With  Dr.  Kane  and  his  brave  crew. 

Like  Sugar-cane,  will  not  thy  grain 

My  cup  of  coffee  sweeten, 
Nor  yet  like  bully  Brooks's  cane, 

Give  unarmed  foe  a  beating. 


'O 


But  sturdily  thou  hast  upheld  me 

Up  many  a  mountain  steep  ascending, 

And  oft  right  cheerily  impelled  me 
On  dusty  road  my  slow  steps  wending. 

The  monstrous  steps  of  Pyramid 
My  puny  steps  thou  'st  made  to  fit, 

And  many  a  saucy  Arab's  head 

The  while,  thou'st  been  obliged  to  hit 

'Gainst  Bedouin  dog  and  dogs  of  Bedouins, 
Thou  didst  thy  master's  rights  maintain. 

Their  bark  thy  bark  on  their  head  wins, 
Tliinking  me  to  taste,  they  tasted  cane. 

O'er  Jordan's  stream  I've  had  thine  aid, 

Up  Carmel,  on  Mt.  Lebanon, 
And  when  I  in  the  Crimea  strayed 

O'er  i\Ialakoff  and  Mamclon. 


300       EXPERIENCES  IN  FOREIGN  PARTS. 

In  Greece,  thy  help  was  not  denied, 
At  Athens,  scaling  Lycobettus, 

Up  steep  Pentelic's  craggy  side, 

As  well  as  climbing  sweet  Hymettus. 

About  Vesuvius'  smoking  crater, 
O'er  Alpine  passes,  down  the  Rhine, 

I  found  thee  everywhere  so  great  a 
Help,  I  bless  the  day  that  made  thee  mine. 

I  hope  in  future  years  to  use  thee. 
Yet  other  rugged  mountains  climbing, 

I  promise  never  more  t'  abuse  thee. 
With  such  a  lame  attempt  at  rhyming. 


1 


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Mr.   Dunn 
Drowne ' s  experie 
nces  in  foreign 
parts . 


AA    000  676  713 


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